"jack, I'll never let go."

well, much like Kate Winslet's character in the blockbuster 1997 hit, Titanic, I feel like I have gotten to know my American Gymnasts in a fairly intimate way since Beijing 2008. Also much like the movie....I am forced to slowly ply thier frozen hands- finger by finger- off of my floating bed frame when things get tough and the outcome looks bleak. 

Enter this commercial for Taco Bell.


Sorry, but the combination of unnecessary twin dome and having the 2nd best gymnasts in the world lie to my face talking about they eat taco bell, hurts my soul. Do you have no shame? Does taco bell think we are all idiots. Let's be serious for a second. How did you not see this ice burg coming?

"It makes my taco pop." One must seriously need some cash to say that on national tv. 

Where is my Nastia? She has standards.

Happy BDAY!

Today is Michael Jackson's 50 bday! 

Happy BDay Michael, stay out of trouble (listen to the monkey) .

A little jammy jam in celebration. 

you have been expunged.

(executions 2, execution 3)

not knowing what the hell these were talking about...I was forced to look at the website. And I like this one (the best out of the 3). I wish they all didn't do the same thing art direction wise. but as far a asking prostitutes for directions....you'd be surprised at their innate sense of direction.  

Im just sayin.

Agency: Hot Tomali, Vancouver, Canada
http://pardonsdirect.com/

PS Perhaps dearjanesample could enlighten us more on this Canadian topic. :::palms to face, elbows on desk...glazed dreamy eyes afix:::

south america still uses post-it notes in their ads.

Pixels? Hell no those are post-it motes, sonanana.

To be exact..."Several characters made of post-it notes, each one representing a different country from Latin America, compete face to face, on a frame by frame animated race through Buenos Aires."


Agency: BBDO Argentina
*bbdo international advertising are always awesome. in my opinion.

Blimey...

Meet Michael Guglielmucci. He is (was) the pastor of The Planetshakers City Church in Melbourne, Australia.  Mr Guglielmucci (which I just pronounced in my head and its hysterical)... recently admitted to his congregation and the world-Australia- that he had been faking cancer for the past 2 years. And why....to cover up his addiction to porn.

After a quick glance at the church's website, one can conclude that it is a mega church. And as open minded as I believe I am, mega churches are pretty much a joke in my book. You cannot possibly "get closer" to your own spirituality (or what ever it is you believe in) when you are in the nose bleed section of a sold out bible concert. What perplexes me however, is this man's choice of illness to use as a ploy to cover up his addiction to porn (of all things).

Not the flu. Not small pox. Not gingivitis. But Cancer. 

Cancer has a beginning and an end. I mean....how do you go about faking cancer? Apparently, he had completely tricked his own family into his bogus undertaking (Australians apparently are not up on all that medical mumbo jumbo). ****And most importantly , why would you choose cancer as an alibi for porn? Cancer is like the black sheep of deadly diseases. And what particular freedoms do (does?) cancer allow an individual in their daily life, that make it an awesome choice as a cover up for ummm.....anything? That's like choosing to take up Caged Death match Fighting in Thailand to keep your love of the movie Sleeping Beauty a secret. 

This guy made the worst decision of his life. And I officially deem him to be "The Stupidest Person in the World."

Ironically enough...his mega church's website states the following as a core belief-

"God has the power to transform and revolutionise the lives of all people, propelling them into their God-given destiny."

VIA The Herald Sun

Retro Ads: the sensual love rug.

Mmmmmmm, the 70s (or whenever this was originally made). And a rug threesome(read the copy).....mmmmmm. Let's just hope that David Hasselhoff's younger autistic brother, Tim, doesn't come with. 

VIA Copyranter

Grandmaster Flash & the Furious 5. Dont Push Me.

damn son...you flyin coach too?

1. This is why I dont video blog...cause you say the first stupid thing that comes to your mind..."Id like to give a shout out to all my brothas and sisters in countries who have oil..."

2. And as sad as it is that you have to leave your jet at home Diddy, some of us cant even afford to book a round trip ticket.

3. F*ck American Airlines. Dont even get me started....



Still...Diddy is such a fool. Gotta luv him.

VIA DLISTED

What can I say...today is just a celeb news day.

reality check (sit down and have a talk with your mom).

Kay McConaughey (Matthew McConaughey's mom) reminds us-the world- that no matter how rich and famous you get...the commonsense rightly acquired by the action of becoming famous...rarely leaks its way back up the drain (aka his mom is a crazy old broad that offers up too much info and has little social adherence...and could give 2 f*cks about it). Hahaaaaaaa, similar to my mom...except my mom would not put it in a book. 

In her book entitled "I Amaze Myself", Kay tells us about the tragic death of her husband...Matt's dad.

“On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love. But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened. I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing But it was just the best way to go!”

She continues informing us of her reason for not covering up the dead body before the paramedics arrived, "I was just so proud to show off my big old 'Jim' — and his gift."

On another note...she discusses the conception of her beloved Matthew,"I was deciding, ‘Do I want to have another baby? Do I want to have an affair? Or go back to school?...."

Mom....shut your mouth. People...get control of them now...or they may embarrass you in the future...in a book. 

VIA DLISTED

the streets say, wha.

just some stuff, on the streets of our dear country. take it as you will...

new york at its best.

wow, I just love this.

"we got 99 problems but design aint one."

This is cool...get one if you're a democrat. Or even if you're just an ass man. 

I love how they describe themselves...

"self-described as, a small, exclusive, secret, digital design collective. We make stuff, and things, and junk, and whatever. We’re all “classically educated” and “real world” tempered. We’ve got 99 problems, but design ain’t one. We’re full-on digital cowboys. We embrace user centered design in all its modern guises. We have day jobs. We’re design snobs. We can tell you what that font is. We thrive on helping our clients solve problems. And we make all kinds of fly shit."

Ha. Good stuff.

http://www.secretdesignshop.com/

great-full of life.

my good friend  (like in real life) Maya over at Smart Aches recently wrote a post that made me ponder.  In admitting  her love for Ted Kennedy via his speech at the DNC a few nights ago on the  verge of tears she was able to dig deep down inside and find appreciation for the life that she has lived so far...the things she's been lucky enough to see and experience- something I don't think we do enough of in our forward thinking culture. And this....made me my mind churn (well, that and she literally asked for her readers to list some of the defining and most appreciative times of their lives.

So I pose the same question to you....in her eloquent and potent words....

What part of our times are you grateful for?
What makes you think, "holy shit, I got to live through that. I get to be the old person that talks about that bad ass moment."

My list thus far includes:

1- Michael Jackson

Its scary to think that in a decade or two, the youth of the world will not know who Michael Jackson is. They will not know his creative genius or god given talent first hand. And I am proud to say that I lived though his ups and downs and would still sell my kidney for a ticket to one of his concerts..... 

2- Obama

this is a given. Whether he wins or not, the fact that the theoretical national term "equality" is for the first time living up to its "intended" merit makes me proud to be an American.

3- Darkwing Duck

this is a metaphor for all of the cartoons from the early 90s. They made kids wonder and imagine. And then they taught us a lessons. Forget the hidden puns, blatant stupidity and plots intertwined in deep-ness. This is a duck. He talks and fights crimes. Deal with it....

4- The Cosby Show

while I luv myself some Fresh Prince, Family Matters, The Nanny, Blossom, Clarissa Explains it All, Step by Step, Full House, Living Single etc, the cosby show is on an entirely different level. It is not of the present- there are no ridiculous Colin Farrell (the man child) moments or kooky Super Bad plots. The Cosby Show is a type of raw and intuitive funny that will last forever...and based on a single and real situation: Family. And that is some simplistic powerful groundwork of humor that no other show has since been able to re-create.

5- Goose Down Jackets

they were big. they were puffy. they were colorful. they were the late 90s. I picture myself as a old man talking to my non-twin grand kids "Back in the day we didn't have that gortex stuff...we had to walk around with real animal feathers in our jackets...it was a time of struggle." And they will look on me in awe. 

....I plan on having more.

(Maya...you post yours. And the rest of you...you have to be appreciative of something).

bring on the trumpets!

i dont know why...but I find this spot hysterical.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha TRUMPETS!"

VIA brandrepublic

More

UPDATE: I literally have watched this one every hour on the hour all day today. Oh my....

clever ads.

holy monkey balls. It looks like Boston agencies still make clever ads. Crazy.......

Agency: Arnold, Boston

VIA Adfreak

"different, dynamic and bold."

the unveiling of the London 2012 Olympic logo has caused quiet a ruckus. 

I mean...I'm no designer, but this hurts my eyes and frankly...makes me think that London is unfit to host the Olympics. Granted no one is going to drop 40 billion dollars like China, but this is feeble and amateur and they at least could've paid a one eyed bum on the street to sit infront of illustrator for like an hour. He would've done some serious design damage. Way better than this.

There is also a petition to change the logo that has already gotten 50,000 signatures. And after being mistaken for a man tumpled over vomiting and/or Lisa Simpson giving head its no wonder people are all shook up by this retro monstrosity.

WAS is even helping Team World by sponsoring a competition to oust the current logo. 

others have already gotten started....

Superwoman. Alicia Keys.

Alica Keys is beautiful. Her voice is beautiful. Beautiful song.  This is just an A+.
*Will Smith...come get your wife.

because Im into difficult break ups.

and its hard for me to let go. Olympics 2008, expect a lot of heavy breathing phone calls and long my space messages. And if you think that my face book relationship status is gonna change anytime soon...you  clearly dont know me.

I cannot help butlook through the photos of all the intimate times we had....

the passionate forehead kisses

the slow dances...ok thats all i got (lets do some real commentary).

betcha if you had 16yr old hands, you coulda held onto those bars.

NBC did NOT show me the hot asian girls with tats.... media dictator.

Ouch.

Awwwwww, Yao. I bet you wish you were asian...american.

Keeping it real hood, no matter where you go.

(gross outtie...barf)

Ewwwwww. Sexy.

"Who let the fat kid play?"

Inspiring no?

Its actually worse that the Spaniards thought.

SPF.....

more behind the scenes awesome Beijing Olympic Photos here.

(there really are some beautiful shots.)

I just refuse to believe its over.

*single tear*

spaghetti kitty censor.

Recently on the Morning Show with Mike and Juliet (?????), Spaghetti Kitty was randomly used as a place holder. Like out of nowhere random. And lets just say that spaghetti kitty is not the most sensible picture in the world....so imagine it popping in on an unsuspecting slightly tired morning viewer. Mayhem in the morning. 

I would think that I had schizophrenia. 

But no...it was used to sensor the word retarded.

The Soup sums it up best....and it gets better and better...every time I watch it. 



VIA dlisted

these are amazing.

see execution 2 here. 

Layers man...LAYERS. I love these. So simple. And an art director's dream.

Agency: ALMAPBBDO, Sao Paulo, Brazil

true political advertising.

this has to be the most creative thing Adweek have ever done. With the Nathional conventions well on thier way, and slander ads pouring from both sides like WW1 propaganda, Adweek asked Ad creatives professionals to come up with their own candidate political ads.

These are my favs. Even though the McCain kicks are pretty fresh as well. 

Im upset no one contacted me for this....come on Adweek.

VIA Adfreak

the show must go on.

riddle me this batman....what do you do when your co-star/singer drops to the floor in the middle of a performance in Sydney Australia?
Well...if you're K-Ci from  K-Ci and JoJo (hit r&B group of the early 90s...still pushing the same ole slow song)...you continue singing as if nothing happened (see 1:50).


And then...as if this is a regular happening....have the bodyguard come pick up the mic and keep it movin. And then....30 seconds later after Jojo scrapes himself off of the floor.....make sure you push him to the front of the stage and make him wave to the audience like a puppet on strings...cue hug.

I find it odd that the lyric "you pick me up when I was down" are in the background. Was this a literal interpretation?

VIA evilbeet

VISA advertising for the world.

so now that the Olympics are over...and I have officially seen all 800 of the VISA "Go World" spots...I've picked my favorites.


At first I thought these were too mushy. But when I realized that the VO man was none other than cool man luke Morgan Freeman ( a personal hero of mine), I started paying attention to them. TBWA/Chiat/Day really did do a great job of selling a "feeling". Im not sure how they were able to churn out the Olympic American winners spots so quickly....multiple Phelps (not part dolphin, duh), Nastia, and Clay. But it was a perfect tie in to the more emotional spots that focused on the past Olympians like Derrick Redmond, Bob Beamon, Dick Fosbury and StevenLopez.

My Favorites:

1. Brian Clay 

(f*ck phelps, this guy is a total bad ass....he only won one medal after being the best in multiple sports...on land)

2. Keri Strug

(one of the first memories I have of the Olympics...when America was super cool)

3. They are human and we are human.

(just some powerful writing....)

Want to see all of them? Click here. I hope you have flash 9. 

I cannot tell a lie...I kinda want a t-shirt.

i miss nick at nite.

"Jon Voight is a frightened little girl in a pink ballet tutu, who acts like Obama just wandered in from the rain forest with a bone thru his nose and a communist pamphlet in his loincloth. The neocons who own jon voight and make him dance on the chabad telethons are the worst most elitist people on earth. glen beck and jon voight are their bitches... both of them are used tampons who must be flushed down the toilet immediately! jon voight your evil spawn angelina jolie and her vacuous hubby brad pitt make about forty million dollars a year in violent psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more."

-Roseanne Bar on her blog.

Does anyone else miss Nick at Nite? I sure do.

the best coffee table book ever.

Ok, so Victoria Secret is coming out with a new coffee table book/or  marketing scheme to promote a new line of bras. What ever it is...its just gonna be a bunch of dudes like me buying the book with no intention of purchasing a damn thing. Which I guess...is kinda genius. Or is it?

Here are some pics. 

Seeing as how Im planning on getting a new place pretty soon, it would be highly unlikely that I will not only own a copy but it will be the first thing I own in the entirety of my apartment (after my munny of coarse). 

I wonder if the pages are laminated (anyone get that joke?).

Ok...so this post isnt about anything....gimme abreak people, im trying to ween myself off of the Olympics.

correction....

You know...I thought that this was why people hated advertising. Turns out...its actually spots like this.

"Built and inspected by the twelve disciples"

Wow...

VIA Makethelogobigger

go team angry world!

with the end of my Olympic affair well on its way (it actually occurred 16 hours ago...but NBC is dictator and truth maker here in the states), its only right that I show all sides of the Olympics. While we see the glitz and glamor...there is an ugly underbelly. No not that underbelly. this belly loves its self some cigars and arroz (racist????).

Meet Cuban Olympic athlete Angel Matos. He and his coach were effectively banned from Olympic taekwondoe, for kicking a ref in the face.

I know the judging was supposedly all loopy (let's be honest here, how many countries do you think have a solid grasp of how to judge this sport?), but.... you don't see Nasty Lui doing a back flip tumble kick into the stands of those judges that costed her the gold. 

Way to keep it classy Cuba. (>>>insert I Love Lucy Ricky Ricardo reference here<<<<).

UPDATE: Mantos will most likely have a bigger problem than "being banned from the sport" when he returnes to his home land. (aka being tortured and burned alive in a small dungeon in the hills).

olympic ads from yours truly III.

ok, I admit it...some series ideas have been abandoned (im no writer, ok)....but I figured I would finish up my Olympic ad series. Make sure you catch the finale...its like totally to die for. 

yes...I have totally ignored Michael Phelps.

And what?

What would Beijing 2008 be with out a Jackie Chan appearance?

A farce, thats what.
One can only wonder what little Jackie will get himself into today.


Ummm, where's Chris Tucker?

soft ball girls are lezzys. But that has nothing to do with this post.

In the wake of the US recent loss to Japan and the rumors that the entirety of the sport getting cut loose....perhaps this spot is a little bit more poignant now....



Because when I first saw it, I was completely turned off. Beautiful editing aside, what is the deal with the half assed line, "We have softball, you can have everything else"? Errrrr, sold....to the slightly crippled blind person in the back...with dyslexia.

Everything else must include....all of their femininity (make-up, tampons, skirts, love of penis, and Gossip Girls the show-which im convinced every girl in the world watches).

one love.

"He still has to mature...I would love him to show more respect for his competitors. That's not the way we perceive being a champion. But he will learn in time. He should shake hands with his competitors and not ignore them. He'll learn that sooner or later. But (he's) a great athlete, of course....That's not the way we perceive being a champion."

- Jaques Rogg 

(International Olympic Comette Chief) on Usain Bolts after victory lack of class.

First things first....Usain Bolt is the fastest man in the world. He broke three world records. He is...a god (though not the Worlds Greatest Athlete [the Decathlon]...omg, meet my new life goal).

But anyway, the genius bloggers at yesbutnobutyes brought this to my attention, and I do understand where Jaques Rogg is going with his statement. A little composure and "well done" hand shakes would've been nice. But is it really that big of a deal that you have to denounce anOlympic gold medalist not even a day after he won? Is it weighing that heavy on your (and the Olympic committees') heart?

I find it interesting that the antics of the US men's gymnastic team when they won bronze last week, still has not hit the mainstream media, and probably wont...ever. I didnt write a blog about it, but in summation, they were all acting like hoodlums. "This is how we roll." "I rock the US of A on my chest." I was embarrassed for them. But some how, Usain's barefoot victory lap and ragga sway earned him a seat on the Olympic naughty list?

While the comment section at yesbutnobutyes was plagued with "isnt there bigger problems/you stupid americans dont get it" responses, I find it interesting that they picked the 22 yr old Jamaican kid to make an example out of. Why him? Why did this particular athlete rouse your emotions? And was it really that bad or just something you aren't use to?

Meanwhile, journalist and activist are literally disappearing in China.

Im just saying.

P.S. I cant wait to bring this up at my barbershop....they are all Jamaican. And they are going to have a field day with this.

I dont want to dig it.

Julius J.Carry III, who played Sho'nuff in on of the most epic movies of my childhood, The Last Dragon has passed away.

Sad Face. RIP Sho Nuff.

"Yeah, ni**a please."

tranny dancing is all the rage.

so apparently there is this crazy tranny man running around the city of New York dancing and singing in a skirt...fake boobs and all. Its been caught on tape a few times. He seems to lurk Coney Island...but has also been spotted in Times Square.





If anyone has any information on his location...I have a cash reward in my pocket. I need a good laugh drawing on someone elses humiliation....and I'm sure you need a new piece of bazooka gum.


VIA gowanaslounge

i believe the correct term for this, is "cat fight".

Obama finally hits under the belt

vs.

Mccain Comeback

Who won this round?

I guess one can only take slandering ads for so long. I'm a little saddened that Obama is lowering himself to Mccain's level. But if you are gonna go there...I guess you might as well go big or go home.
"This is one house, America cat afford to let John Mccain move into." 

Stab stabbbbb sttttaaaaab.

Bad Girl. Danity Kane.

I had been meaning to post this video for a long time. It's kind of a bad idea. But damn it...I support Danity Kane in all their ventures. There...I said it. 

If you'd like to hate...please leave it on the youtube site (if you are that person).

"Would you be the man you are today, if your father didn't hit you?"

- Mad Men (Season 2)

spirit fingers...in the water.

Meet Keyon Smith. He is "allegedly" one of the best male synchronized swimmers in the country. Scratch that...he is like the only male synchronized swimmer in the country. And recenlty...he was denied entry into the Olympics.  

So while our girls tread and frolic about in the Bird Flu pools of Beijing trying to bring home the gold, Keyon was told that he couldn't get on the big bus...all because he doesn't have a vagina. 

Now...I was originally going to post this video in jest. When he said that he has "taught" a bunch of guys before...I wondered exactly what he "taught" them. I even had a really funny photo to run of him. But now that Ive had time to think about it...it's kind of sad that he will never be able to compete in the Olympics and represent his country...all because he is a minority in said group. 

This is like reverse sexism (feminist I do understand the difference, so save your angry comments). 

Sad.

VIA DLISTED

(Game [no the] has an interview with Complex magazine)

"Jay-Z is a subliminal rapper, he uses his words and isolates you like that. I go hard, straight for the jugular, with a knife and I’m cutting your throat and you’re going to bleed all over Manhattan when you beef with me. It’s that serious."

- Game

Well, [the] Game sure does know how to use the soft sell. I personally cannot wait to get bled on. (sarcasm)

topic: the internet contingent.

there's a place for everyone...on the internet.

cartoons make me smile in the morning.

(click pic to make big)

VIA XKCD