miss the mark much?

The regional Tourism Commitee of France thought that these ads would attract Londoners to Paris for Rugby. The official strategy:

"The first ad's objective is to show Londoners that Paris is a dynamic multi-faceted region brimming with exciting events that are worth visting regularly, such as the upcoming Design against Design. 'We want to seduce London'"

Em hmmm, you should of kept this in mind before you called the Brits gay. needless to say, they were not all that happy about it.

Check the rest of France's boch job at advertising here.

"How do you say....crrrap" (imagine this said by a french guy with a mustache, cig in hand, tight turtle neck and funny little hat cocked to one side, and smelling like B.O.)


What is up with the onslaught of trippy ads. I almost puked up my oatmeal this morning as i watched this spot from London. Self surgery + obscene callouses= Gross. (yes, i did use the addition equation thing to make my point)


Beyonce would never. Come on Kelly, this is why you never sang lead. Get focused.


Damaged. Danity Kane.

Yes, I bought the first album. And yes I will buy the second one. These girls can sing. Im still making my mind up about this song though.

There's another one called 'Pretty Boy' on youtube, but who knows what's real these days. I kinda like this song too. It's a little rough sounding, but it could grow on me.

calling all TV Junkies.

i have decided to share my unhealthy addiction to television shows. The following is my scheduled week in whole. Dont judge me.

Monday. American Gladiators. If I am lucky the Gladiators tear the contestants apart limp from limp. Why?.Well, thier down fall makes my Monday better, because atleast I know there was one other person out there who failed miserably at life a little bit more than me that day. Lets go Gladiators. Terminator. Oh man I have been itching to talk about this show for weeks 3 to be exact). It is really really entertaining. One would think that TV is not the best media for special effects (ie Smallville, Supernatural, Heros). But this one pulls off a good mix that doesn't leave you feeling like they needed a bigger budget. It sort of reminds me of Buffy in its first season. And everyone knows that after you get past your first season...shit only get better. Making the Band 4. The two successful bands of the trilogy (I guess three if you count Donnie) are back on MTV. When Puffy can no longer kick people off the show...he instead tries to stress the shit out of them on national tv by telling them to make an album in 5 weeks (instead of the regular year and a half). In my mind, it seems that by rushing the album, you are only forcing them to make a crappy music hence leading to your demise Puffy...and I think the boy group (that doesn't even have a name yet) is predisposed to failure seeing as how thier single that came out a year ago hasn't even hit the radio yet. Whatever the case, someone needs to tell Donnie that it is no longer 1998 and that he is bound to end up on VH1's Dr Drews rehab show (for ex/failed/halfc elebs) .

Tuesday. Sometimes I watch American Idol. But I really only make it through the first 2 or 3 episodes before I lose interest. Nip/Tuck fills my "what the fuck quota" for the week with its craziness. Later on in this carefully planned evening is Bad Girls Club, which is simply out of control. Lets throw 5 or 6 crazy girls into a house and see what happens. Taneisha is the epitome of ignorance. Every time she speaks, the entire African American race goes backwards approximately 2-3 years. Its like having the dice land on "go back two" in Sorry (even if there is no dice). Eventually, by the end of the season...we will all be slaves again. This show also makes me feel sorry for those unfortunate souls that went to all girl high schools. Jesus, Mary and Joseph. You are all survivors. And then, I end the night with my early week dosage of model tv, Janice Dickensons' Modeling Agency. And how can I forget House...the MD of being a complete smart ass. Oh how I aspire to be that man...minus the doctor part...and the bad leg....and the whole "being Caucasian thing." I just want to be a complete ass...a clever ass.

Wednesday. As long as I live and love, I will watch any MTV Real World Road Rules Challenge. Gauntlet, Inferno...name it whatever you want, they are my addiction. The only thing about this one is that they have all these new kids on from when they tried to revive their stupid Road Rules. And they insist on giving them screen time. Who are you and who are you. They should replace you both with each of Coral's breasts. My secret love, Project Runway is next. A full hour of flamboyant, design drama mixed with Tim Gun's catch phrase..."Make it Work" is the light of my life. (Future Prospects: America's Next Top Model..this is a guilty pleasure of mine, that I just cannot kick...will I see forehead tyra or bang tyra? No one knows).

Thursday. Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader. Let's just say that I am less than stellar at this game show. Infact, I picked up the habit of learning something new everyday....because I'll be damn if I'm called on the show only to be ousted by a mere child. Dorks. And for my late week model show fix....Make Me a Supermodel on Bravo. If you haven't caught on yet...I have a thing for modeling shows. The more the better. Infact, my dream job (besides just being born to rich-dom) would be to live the rest of my life getting paid to be in pictures. I'm just saying...in an ideal world. 30 Rock. Always, always, always funny...especially when they start writing new shows for it. The Office....though the new season isn't as funny as the old ones, I am still waiting for its return. (Future Prospects: LOST....I mean...need I say more.)

And that's it....about 14 hours (or so...give or take) of tv a week. It's not that bad right? Anyway, everyone's life will be a better place when the writers come back. And all the famous people start shaving again. Until then...watch the exact same shows as I do. You will be a better person for it.

i'm lovin (freaked out by) it.

Oh man, the swedes have some serious problems if these are the types of McDonald spots that get them off. It's only dreams man. It's only a dream.

A shared long nose???

The other 2 commercial made by Stockholm DDB are just as weird (Bird Anchors and Moaning Blobs...sperm in my opinion). But you know nothing "st rang" is complete without the Japanese joining in on the fun....with chic clown girls and guys. That red clown suit is blazin.

Oh old school.......where art thou?


wrap it up.

I consider myself to be your fairy god father (the poor one that doesnt do the 'wish' thing) but lets you know whats hot on the streets or the dirt roads (depending what part of the US you are from)...so you can stay ahead of the curve of cool hippness. Cause behind the courve is for losers.

Everyone knows that it is not only safer to wrap it up...but its also cooler.Check these sick covers for your electronics.

I mean...you dress yourself up everyday to impress. Logically, the next step would be to make sure your little electronic buddies don't look like hobos. Cause you know...they are basically mini yous. So dont play them...cause you are only playing yourself .

Check out some more options

Your Fairy God Father (the poor one that doesnt do the 'wish' thing)

dove love.

ladies...as it turns out, you are beautiful. Forget the the diets, diet pills, the horrible mass media and plastic surgery...all you need is Dove. It will solve all your problems.

Ad Agency: Ogilvy

expolsion. arrows. explosion.

I was sitting at my cubicle desk this morning, and my boss said some snark remark to me...I believe it was something like, "Good Morning." And I stared at her really long and hard and said...“Live for nothing, or die for something.” (in my head) and then I pulled out a bow and arrow and shot her in the eye socket (also in my head).

And this...is a normal reaction, if you spent your Saturday night watching the new Rambo Movie. With a plot about as complicated as saying your ABCs blindfolded and ultimately containing no more than 10 lines from the leading actor Sylvester Stallone , I sat through about 90 minutes of non stop 80s inspired action. And...well, it was great. People, if you are looking for a deep plot twisting, intense drama...this, is not it. However, if you are looking to be transported back in time to when action movies where simple stories filled with flying dead bodies and a war entrenched asian countries....this is the movie for you. You'll cringe, you'll laugh, you will audibly say "woah", and after you will want to literally kill someone. With that said...here are some John Rambo rules to live by if you find yourself fighting a foreign killer regime in Burma.

Rambo 101:

1. Always choose the biggest bullets and the biggest guns. Why? Well, logically speaking...you would want to blow someones head clean off and/or blow them 12 ft into the distance, because it leaves less room for what I like to call "death confusion." So 20 minutes later they arent back in your face talkin all that ching chong ching (sorry, a lil racist, but I was watching def comedy jam last night). Remember the simpler the plot the better. Dead means dead. And its better for you in the long run.

2. When you have a bomb, your best bet is to strap it to another bomb. Two conjoining bombs are always better than one...especially if the second one is a large one left over from world war II. Turns out that the Burmese (and I am guessing alot of other people) do not do to well with really really big explosions...even in the jungle.

3. Perfect the stare. You must be a man of little words (please note "a man"). You communicate with your eyes. And the only 2 messages you know how to give is....."I dont give a fuck" and "I can kill you if I really wanted to." So, picture this scenario....you walk into McDonalds and the cashier asks if you want fries with your value meal. You stare long and hard. And the cashier runs away is fear. Can you guess which look you just gave?



thesaurus anyone.

this guy is really making a statement here.

Djokovic 7-5, 6-3, 7-6 (5)

Wowsiers. Not only did Nadal loose to the french Black guy who no one knows, but so did golden boy Roger Federer to Novak Djokovic (who I have heard of before). The game of tennis is changing. There is a new generation aproaching, and the vets better step up or they'll get played. And as for my prediction...which is why i didnt even watch the semi finals....was all wrong.

This is why you shouldn't trust me or my opinion.

BTW, Bulls are going all the way and the Giants are gonna win the Superbowl. I have proclaimed it.


bad taste.

I am not usually the guy who gets on advertising about useing and abusing. Infact, that is what excites me about the industry. Playing, feeding, and evoking the human mind, is a turn on. But this...is a bad taste.

And, it doesnt make sense. "Everyday, is a f*cking planned terrorist act against a nation based on the belief systems of a foriegn nation and the complexities/simplicities that is man." those poor trees must be atleast at yellow alert.

No...not quiet. Or maybe Im just being NY sensitive.

CLM BBDO, Paris, France

democracy is crazy tennis fish and chips.

do you like that title? Its a foreshadowing tool you see. Well, read on..then you'll see.

Australian Open. So, it looks like its all over for America. James is out. The Williams sisters have been eliminated. And what are we left with? Federer and Nadal. I'm calling it now. Capros (capris for men) vs Superman. Nadal will put up a good fight...and he might even win, but he would definitely have a better chance on clay. This is like David vs Goliath, except David has a machine gun in his back pocket...and Goliath, well..he is Swiss. It shall be interesting. (Side note: I put a pic up of Serena, to make my friend Dan jealous. If only he had guns like that, take note Dan, take note.)

And if you are wondering. This is why i didnt mention Andy Roddick. Stay in school kids. Or atleast, dont be an arrogant prick.

I mean. Crazy is, as crazy does. And boy oh boy, is Tom Cruise crazy. Please read the following quote in its entirety.

"When you're a Scientologist, and you drive by an accident, you know you have to do something about it, because you know you're the only one who can really help. We are the authorities on getting people off drugs. We are the authorities on the mind.... We are the way to happiness. We can bring peace and unitecultures. Now is the time. Being a Scientologist. People are turning to you. If you are a Scientologist, you see things the way they are, in all their glory, in all their complexity... It's rough and tumble. It's wild and woolly. It's ablast. It really is. It is fun. Because damn it, there is nothing better than going out there and fighting the fight, and suddenly you see -- boom! -- things are better. I want to know that I've done everything I can do, every day... I do what I can. And I do it the way I do everything. "

The whole second half of the paragraph...he isnt saying anything. Do I really need to show you a video? No. But listen...I think the man has something here. The media is too afraid of him to mess with him. So, he is crazy...and getting away with it. If you ask me, Brit needs to hop on this bandwagon. If your going to be crazy...atleast be a feared crazy. Yep. BTW...scientoligist...Im just forwarding this on, please leave me be. Yall are cool in my book (I live In Omaha) An Kate..."Take you children and run while you can..RUUUUUUN, BITCH, RRRUUUNNNN!!!!!"

Jerry O'Connel did a pretty funny parody. Probably the only funny thing he has ever done. Besides dating Robecca Romain Stamos...opps, sans Stamos.

The Brits are coming. Victoria and David Beckham are taking over the world. As David, now that soccer..I mean football is out of the way, have caught grasp of a new cause. Poor and dieing children in developing countries is what he cares about now. And while bland newsies like this
deliver the soft news to thier adoring reader. I am here to show you that David really just wanted to see some Somalians with their shirts off and rub man nipples with them (as seen to the right). Meanwhile Victoria is out doing other equally as important things. Ok, ok...so they are no Angelina and Brad, but lets face it...Joli could never pull off the "dressed in a canvas tote bag while rocking a hair antenna" look. And I'm almost positive, David will leave all the children he sees were they are, in Africa. Besides, Brooklyn really doesn't need any more soccer influence in his life....I mean football.

I Love a Catfight. And the monstrosity that was Mondays Democratic Debate was indeed that. Hillary had her fangs and claws out(straight looking like she was about to pounce). Borrack had his shield and sling shot. Edwards...well, he was just hanging out. He wanted to get out the house..ya know. But stints like this were far too many. And Edwards just jump in with zingers trying to shank Obama in the side. And Obama...I'm glad he brought his shovel with him...cause he was digging himself out of hole after hole. But what I really want to know is...how does one become that person who asks the candidates the questions? I want that power. I need that power. Anyway, in the mean time....let's (you and I) decide exaclty what this commercial is trying to convey.

Does Budweiser work for John Edwards...or is it Hillary? Cause Obama is clearly the dark import (head tilt to the side, cynical face). Hillary, certainly is not light. But comeon Budweiser, if you are going to make Propaganda (DDB or BBDO, i dont remember right now, im probably way off) atleast make good propaganda.

Ok, I'm out.



so I cant say that the death of Heath Ledger has left a gaping hole in my heart (he is no Aaliyah). But I do want to give him props for some of the most entertaining movies of my time.

10 things I Hate About You....taming of the shrew, how many times have I seen this movie....

A Knight's Tale...dont act like you didnt see it...its on TBS all the time.

Putting Cowgals and barwenches out of business. Brokeback Mountain.

The Patriot (I apologize for the crazy rock soundtrack, just inappropriate).

it's actually kinda sad...because he was kinda like Johnny Depp with the weird roles and all. Well, rest in piece man...you were very talented. See you in The Dark Knight.

monster dork 2.

cant stop wont stop. Every time I try to move on with my life...Cloverfield pops back up. I don't know if it is good or bad. But, discovering info about the movie is way more interesting than actually watching it. Weird, no?

Anyway...I will give the movie props for awesome pre-release tactics (read all about them here). Its actually kind of sick, no ridiculous, all the effort that was put into the buzz of this movie. There were 3 separate campaigns, 3 websites, direct marketing, a youtube component, a myspace component...and that doesnt even include the silly traditional trailers.

I'll tell you what I think is going to happen.....

Much like LOST (which is sheer brilliance), I think they have written and marketed themselves into a hole. Unless some miracle takes place, their attempt of making a sequel will be sub par, as they try to tie up all the loose ends (crossing their T's and dotting thier I's).

Either that, or JJ Abrams chooses not to tell us sh*t.

Oh the juxtaposition of brilliance.


monster dork.

PS :::this blog IS a bit of a Spoiler:::

Cloverfield. This movie was niether good...nor bad. But, guess what guys...this movie is a monster flick. A giant monster, to be exact. And as clued to in by the trailers, it is bringing some serious raucous and chaos to of all places, Manhattan. It starts of with a surprise party, held for a this guy who is moving away to Japan (whap whap) to be the vice president of some corporation. The cast is attractive, a little dumpwitted, but overall...reasonably believable as party goers and idiots. And then an explosion...which causes the JT track that is playing to stop (just as I was getting my groove on)...and then, all hail mighty monster from the crypt. The next 60 minutes is spent viewing the onslaught of bad decisions that these characters make as they go gallivanting thruoghout the city to save their friend, who lives in a high rise by Central Park (key location, but aparently not very monster proof).

Pros: There was not only a big monster...but little small monsters that fell of the big one. And they, were feroucious. Human stupidity is still running ramped in this monster flick..."Hey, I have an idea guys, let's go into the subway...and walk threw the abandoned tunnels to midtown (express train of death)." Exploding bodies...check. And...that's about it.

Cons: The first 5 minutes of monster mayhem...when there was no monster (an i say this whole heartedly), reminded me of 9/11. It was very eerie seeing clouds of smoke billow down the street as buildings collapsed. I cannot lie, in my mind i was saying, "Im not into this." But then we (the viewer) caught a glimpse of some giant sexy monster calf, and I was immediately relieved. The concept of love...was once again squeezed into yet another film for no reason. Lets be serious....if you were about to die, wouldnt you say "I love you" to anyone around you? On a different note, halfway through the flick, one could ask themselves...how the hell are these kids surviving all this?, cause I know personally I woulda died like 15 minutes ago (see that brick that fell of the build building, that's all me). Also, if you think you are going to walk away with a clear understanding of the naming of the movie, the monster and his origins or anything else sensibly related....you are sadly mistaken.

And it is within this last point that my inquiry was inspired. You may not be interested in the rest of this blog, but luckily, it's my blog, so.....

We all know about the viral campaign that was out there months b4 the movie...if not, here we go. One the official Cloverfield website, a link appeared, along with subsequent commercials for a company called Slusho. But this is not the first time Slusho (some weird slushie making company in Japan,) has been seen. It was also been spotted in the tv series "Alias". And most recently "Heros".

So what the f*ck is going on here? It is all so absurd that I cant even logically describe it right now. As I scanned the blogosphere/youtube for answers...I only received more holes in the plot. Apparently, there were people at the party in the movie rocking Slusho t-shirts before the big bang. And the main character, who was moving to Japan..was going to work for Slusho. Also, there's signs of a satellite falling into the ocean at the very end of the movie. Deep sea drilling...sure why not. There is such a mudpit of conflicting buzz out there that is a little hard to focus on one thing. But what does this all have in common? JJ Abrams. The producer of Cloverfield. Also, the creator of a little show called "LOST."

I know, I know...I just blew your mind. Here's the thing. How much irrelevant information can the consumer take before loosing interest? There's this, then that, then the movie, then no answers in the movie, then leads to answers, then talks of sequels, the interconnecting webs to completely different shows. I mean, are the TV "Heros" going to save the world on the big screen? Or is the Cloverfield monster the 1st cousin of the smoke monster on "LOST "(yeah, that's right, I didnt forget about you, LOST Smoke monster). Is this a sign of marketing gone too far? Or pure creative genius?

We will see. Well...not me, maybe you. If I want to see Godzilla meets The Blair Witch project.....I'll rent them both separately...cause you know what....atleast they give me a beginning, middle and end. I say no to plot cross overs, and no to confusing viral campaigns, and no to milk bi-products. You Bastards, leave my brain alone!

Rule of thumb...you cant keep producing more questions, than there are answers. People....loose....in.....tere...sssss...


changing a nation.

...I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Martin Luther King


a little pigmentation.

"I am not tragically colored. There is no great sorrow dammed up in my soul, nor lurking behind my eyes. . . . Even in the helter-skelter skirmish that is my life, I have seen that the world is to the strong regardless of a little pigmentation more or less. No, I do not weep at the world—I am too busy sharpening my oyster knife."

Zora Neale Hurston (1901?-1960)
"How It Feels to Be Colored Me" (1928)


muff deoderant.

get it?



the new MacBook Air. Apples newest and thinnest laptop to date. With 2GB of RAM 80GB of memory this little guy can apparently fit into an envelope, messenger of course.

And as amazing as this sounds, please keep the following in mind before you drop thousands of dollars trying to keep up with the cool kids.
1. The 1yr trial period. It is said...and I have experienced that new apple products are flawed in general. And they need about a year for themb (Apple) to truly get all the kinks out (lol, i said kink). Infact, I promise you that if you buy this product now...you will hate apple and Steve Jobs for little over a year as your life is wiped away in one single swoop of your screen shutting down and multiple visits to the apple store.
2. It only has 80 GB of memory! Hell, my big toe has more memory than that. You'll save like 3 jpegs to your desktop and it will blow up.
3. It only has 1 usb port. In turn...you can only do one usb related activity at a time. Want to transfer pics from your digital camera and charge your ipod? Nope, sorry...your computer is too skinny.

I guess I never really understood why people want their computers so small. Like a 6 inch display...or this thin thing. Who really cares, if it cant do exactly what you want it to do. Just my opinion.

Anyway...check the geeks out at the convention...gasping in awe. "OMG, did he say computer." I can only imagine the pocket protector quota at this event.


scrambled skin heads.

I really wanted this to make sense. Cause, you know...I hate nazis just as much as the next orthodox jewish person.
So, they made this egg cup...who I guess is a Nazi (totally looks like a Nazi to me). And you are suppose to put an egg into the cup and eat it. So that you are literally and figuratively taking Nazi-ideas out of heads.
Whap! Whap! And that's not too the movement in general, it is to the idea that was poorly executed in this silly gimmick. What are you saying? Once we remove the ideas(yoke), where do they go? We ingest and then digest them. So technically....you are not getting rid of ideas or changing minds (if you stick to the theoretical meaning of this contraption), you are simply taking them for your self. There is also an over tone of violence here. "Bash his head in, then he will be a better man."I dunno, I guess if you speak german the following website can help you out. http://www.lautgegennazis.de/
In my opinion, I think the following throw back campaign woulda worked better.
"This is your brain, this is your brain on Nazi."
Hey, it worked once...back in the early 90's.... didn't it? I know Im not on drugs...or on Nazi...so....

Star Wars-Robot Chicken

I dont do this often, in fact...I usually like to hoard all my secretes. But. this was really funny. Robot Chicken's (a silly cartoon/puppet thing) on cartoon network's Adult Swim does a take on Star Wars.

You gotta see it. I promise atleast one laugh. Even from my most hardcore critics of  friends. You know who you are. (squinted eyes)


how emmmmmbarrassing.

And you thought you were embarrassed when you showed up to the school dance with the same shirt as little Johnny. Well Carlos Moya of Spain played Stefan Koubek , in the same outfits. Like brothers from another mother...

this totally beats that time I had to kill my room mate for borrowing my white vneck undershirt.Or at least that was word on the street. If only we were playing tennis. Then this would all be topical.

let it begin.

this is the time of the year (Jan 14-27) where I could give a damn what is going on in the real world. Tennis is my world, and the Australian Open the universe it is currently playing in. Lets go over the promising players of 2008.

Returning Champ. Arguably one of the best players in mens tennis to date. 12 titles under his belt. He is trying to go for his third in a row in the land of Kangas & Roos (Winny the Pooh reference). Swiss born......Roger Federer.

Venus....my girl. All i know is you, Venus...need to keep raising the bar. How short can you have your shorts on court? How heavy does your jewlery have to be to hinder your playing ability? I dunno...lets find out. In the finals shall we.

Wild child. Nadal. The only thing better than umbros (libre balls shorts) is a good old fashion pair of Capros. Capris for men. So, so sexy.

My personal fav. Agassi in the making (give him a few years). James Blake. Straight from the "hood" he is an ivy league non grad. Which if you ask me is the way to go. I shoulda went to Havard and then NOT graduated. I woulda been rich by now. Anyway...I digress. Blake, the man, the myth....the dude who inspired me to grow a fro (syyyyck, that was clearly my roommate). 

Other mentionables....obviously the lovely Sharapova who will be playing the archaic Davenport (who just pooped out a baby a few months ago)... tomorrow night. Marat Safin...one day you will be good again. Your motherland demands it. Llyeton Hewitt, the racist. Not every black person is an aborigine. There are a few others out there. A whole lot of Serbians. Tons of young Russian girls (the ones that do not become mail order brides). And a handful of asians. All in all, I am an old head. Cant keep up with everything. Damn Australians are going to make me stay up all night...shucking and jiveing with them.

Its gonna be a long 2 weeks of tennis. for both me, and you.

i quit.

the fact that I have taken the time to even copy and paste this, should tell you the state of mind I am in right now, at 2am in the morning, when I have casually convinced myself that "the man" is running my life.

taken and formally redistributed from quityourjobday.com . Which unfortunately has passed, but like I always say... better late than never. You should especially quit your job if you are an AD at a big agency in NY or Chi-town. Then send me an email. it isnt all of them, but here are the few I admire.

The No Show
It's Monday morning and your alarm clock is buzzing, ringing, or playing a radio station. Your normal routine might have you slapping the snooze button a few times and tricking yourself out of bed with the promise of coffee. However this morning is Quit Your Job Day. This morning instead of hitting the snooze button, you unplug the clock. And the phone. And depending on how invasive your manager is, your door bell. This is by far the easiest way to quit your job, as it requires the absolute minimum of effort on your part. Sleep well into the afternoon knowing that you've terminated a job well done.

In Cube Vacation
This method requires a little bit of timing and a near intimate knowledge of your employer. It should not be attempted by amateurs. Starting one to five weeks before Quit Your Job Day, simply stop doing any meaningful work. Spend your time decorating your cube with pictures of vacation spots, turn your Internet radio to Hawaiian music, and sneak in a sun lamp. Sand on the floor would be a nice touch. When asked about the current state of any give project state that it's "being worked on" or "should be finished late next week." Either your boss will notice your strange behavior and you'll end up having to explain yourself or, if you are very lucky, the bureaucracy in your office is so deep that your shenanigans will go unnoticed. If confronted immediately apologize and say that you had hoped that your problems had not affected your work performance. Ask for the rest of the day off as a mental health day, and explain that you have another appointment with your doctor tomorrow. Never go back to work.

Reverse Firing
In the corporate world you often get reviewed for your performance. The meetings are uncomfortable affairs where your manager goes down a checklist of things that 'could use improvement'. On Quit Your Job Day, you'll be calling a review meeting of your own. Create a list of things the company needs improvement in. Watch your manager squirm as you point out bad health benefits, impenetrable paperwork, inhuman working environments and other OSHA related problems. At the end of your review look your manager straight in the eye and ask 'What would you do if you were me?', pause and then announce 'I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go.'

Lunch Escape
For the timid, the lunch escape may provide the ideal solution. Plan a large lunch with your closest allies and friends from work. The location should be some place casual that serves alcohol. Mexican restaurants are ideal. During lunch casually mention that it's Quit Your Job Day, and remember that you have some brochures you downloaded from the web site. Joke about not going back to work after lunch while simultaneously buying the next round. If someone suggests heading back, accuse them of trying to avoid buying their round of drinks. Pretty soon you'll all be looking for new jobs.

So...I would be straight up lying to you (by omission) if I didnt tell you that my next website viewing will be about the bombing of pearl harbor and the germans.


PS, If you need an example of a resignation letter, here is Richard Nixons, use it as your muse.


“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
Oscar Wilde.


the moscow know how.

if there is any city in Mother Russia that would know the exact angle inwhich to approach the drug useing community, it is Moscow. The Moscow Anti-Drug wax museum features the many "bad" outcomes of using drug. It's about awareness people. Awareness. Check it out:

I do not know about you guys, but these wax dope fiends,  crack heads and heroin addicts have opened up my eyes. Russia is indeed a pioneer. First the monkey in space, now this. God, how will we ever keep up with them?

Side Note: How sweet would it be if we were at this museum trippin on an eightball? ........What? Dont look at me like that. I dont judge you.

Sensual Seduction. Snoop.

This is like the video of the year. It is so retro it made me want to telport back in time and lick the polycoated furniture whilst I smell the shag rug. I want a round bed and my very own flag girl (:30). stat!


thrown in the pit.

God Warrior. Wife Swap gone wrong.

"If you are darksided, get out of my house." All i have to say is, Im glad that someone had the strength to say what ive been thinking every day of my life. I too hate dark sided people. Or maybe its just dark people that I hate. Or maybe its profiles. Wait, what are we talking about again? Cheesecake.


Fallin. J Holiday.

Ok, I lied...J Holiday has some other hits on his cd. This is fire.

whats really good.

A few key points on this lovely Friday.

1. Marion Jones was just sentenced to 6 months in prison today. All I can say is that I hope they have an indoor track for her to stay healthy and fit...she is one of American's finest (with steroids and all). Another key point to this story, is the fact that she look almost like a normal woman, and not like the other freakish female pro athletes.

Kudos Marion, Kudos.

2. Please note the conversation below:

Man 1- "Yo, I dont know how they get those guys to just give up their lives
and run into a building."

Man 2- "Yeah I wonder what they tell them, 'Your gonna be mad popular in
heaven if you highjack this plane and shit'."

Man 1- " You would never see me doin some shit like that, I'd rather take a

Man 3- "Yeah, but I heard these guys are like dirt poor....."

I experienced this little nugget of a conversation as I passed a group of Federal guards while I was walking into work. Chuck full of understanding and intelligence. I love the nation I live in.

3. I am turning into a psycho workout fanatic. Key words in my vocabulary. Protein. Rest days. 8k marathon. Carbs. Diets. So, if you call me and say, "Hey Whats up man?" I may respond with one of those previous words. Do not get confused, just send me a text.

And to clarify, this is not the result of some...New Years resolution. Infact, I have no resolutions thise year...except staying alive, making out whenever I can and showing off my ripped diesel-ness to the rest of the underprivileged world. Just a warning.

So....basically, a blog about nothing, but you still read it. Ha ha. I have been wanting a vodka red bull since 11am this morning so I am a little light headed. I will end this all with this simple little video. Reminds me of NY so much. "This is my New Fucking Hair Cut."


Alright, so I have been stressin out over what tatoo to get next and its respective location.

And then I stumbled upon this pic right here, and I was suddenly inspired. For the ignorant at heart, the tattoo is the shape of Bermuda. I kind of like it. The only problem is...I couldn't put it in the middle of my back, because there is a tat on my shoulder blade, and the space relationship is all wrong.

What do you guys think?

Keep in mind a few, Shaun rules:
- no color tattoo
-no words (even though I almost broke this rule)
-no private parts
-where ever its location, no one needs to know I have it, unless I show it to them
-no cartoons, dragons, panthers or portraits
-nothing too detailed, there is a tribal theme currently happening on my body
-and finally, nothing that may require multiple visits, simply to complete on tattoo


like totally for sure.

Lets talk celebrity news (and real news, I guess), shall we. Not so spicey. So, the Spice Girls are on tour over in the magical land across the pond. They are rocking thier hits from the 90s on stage, and Posh Spice's boob pops out. Well, it would have if Melanie B didnt save her at the last minute. And to that I say" f*ck you Scary Spice." Mind your business. Useless acts of 2008....award goes to Melanie B. Listen Melanie...if god predetermined that a nip slip was instore, who are you to get in the way. This is like that time when you got knocked up by Eddie Murphy and then caused all of the US entertainment papers to bring your name up after like 5 years. Useless. And personally, I adore the Spice girls. They just need to know the rules of the road. Instead of this lame "helping a sista out" photo that is up here...we could have enjoyed a little British celeb nip slip. This, would finally put the rumors about Victora Beckham being a life size barbie robot to rest. Girl power is NOT always a good thing. Melanie...you are on my sh*t list.

In other private parts celeb news...Peter Wentz of the band Fall Out Boys has some photos that have leaked to the world wide web of his private parts (his boys did indeed fall out, lol). Camera phone pics no less. Apparently, he sent pics of himself...parts exposed, to a girl via picture texting and the girl then forwarded it on to..well, the entire world. The funny thing about all of this is that it plays perfectly into my cardinal rules: 1-Picture texting is an invention of the devil, meant to embarrass and crush your spirit, 2-dont allow other people to have full access to your nakey private picture (not saying that this has ever happened to me, but yeah...dont do it) 3-Always wear boxer briefs (show you package...without showing you package. ) Any way...PR stunt or real (unfortunately, I think real), the pictures are revealing, but not that exciting to all those who...you know...have their own Penis. And hey, life lesson...either don't trust your erections into other peoples hands (or do) or eliminate the picture text feature from your phone plan all together. I did the later, and my erection to this day cannot be googled (I just tried).

Holmes, not so Homely. Now, I never had a thing for Katie Holmes. When she was on Dawson's Creak, she was a boy. When she was in Batman Returns, she was boy in heels. Infact...I was never really part of her fan club in general. But this picture to the right proclaims that she is, indeed turning into a hottie. Some say she is copy catting her best pal Posh spice, but who really cares. 1. I am surprised that she even has the ability to look this hot and put together. 2. That Tom let her out of the cellar (cause I am pretty sure that is were she stays, for removal of spirits and stuff...cause you know she has alot of Scientology slack to make up, to get to Tom's status...the baby making probably set her back a few points) 3. That Bionic woman Beckham even considers Katie worthy enough to hang with. If looking hot does indeed rub off on people...Victoria needs to sell her sh*t in a can through QVC. There are a few...alot of people I know that need a gallon or so of it. And, I just threw this thing in of that grl from that show in MTV that thinks she is famous. Click on the image...her boobs are large and in charge. As I use to say back in the day..."She got some tig ole Bittys!"

Yikes and yikes. There are 2 there because this one is scandalous. American Gladiators went untarnished for ummm....about 4 days. Turns out that Militia...one of the Gladiators, did gay porn in the past. Ahem. NBC countered by saying that he indeed participated in the industry, but he only took nude photography for a gay porn audience. I counter by saying..."Ha, ha, ha...what did you think was going to happen." If you ar enot sure who I am talking about, Alex Castro is the man. And this kind of sucks for him, because viewership is bound to decline. All of middle America are homophobes. But we need to look at this in a positive light. Gays are now flipping the script. They are now f*cking people (straight guys) up, instead of vice versa. I wouldn't be surprised if other tv star porn careers start popping up...like Hurly from LOST or Tom from "Tom & Jerry." I think we should all take this as a lesson. If you want to be someone important in life...you may not want to do gay porn. It always creeps back up on you. From the back, of coarse...strapped in leather, with a tube of Vaseline.

OK...Im out of stuff. Catch you laters skaters. And feel free to comment. I need some self reassurance sometimes.