11.30.2009



"I'm such a physical person, action-film work came natural...Even at 5 years old, I was watching Sarah Connor. If you fucking switched the channel to The Last Unicorn, I would've been like, 'Ah, Jesus--just find your way home, you fucking unicorn!'" 

- Zoe Saldana, in a recent Details interview


OK, all Im saying is that I know the location of the last Unicorn, and she doesn't. Who's really missing out here? But alas, she is still hot.

White House Party Crashers?



White house party crashers? Now, I don't want to say that this was done on purpose. But I hope the unemployment line gets a little longer after these shenanigans. Because, clearly someone didn't care enough to do their jobs.

I mean seriously, there is security and list readers located right here in Manhatten, at certain clubs (in Hell's Kitchen) that do a better job than the seceret service of keep people out. Have you ever gotten into Diddy's White party? Exactly.  This...is a sad, sad joke...and there needs to be sad, sad consequences.

The Lego Matrix.



Produced in honor 10th anniversary of The Maxtrix, LegoMatrix is a frame-accurate, stop-motion animated recreation of the famous bullet time scene using legos. The video features 900 frames from the film and took 440 hours to create.
As much as I love this, I cant seem to get over the fact that it's the Matrix's 10th anniversary. It was literally on AMC last week. I watched it. A-M-god-damn-C, along with Lassie and M*A*S*H. The Matrix?

((((Doing a Home Alone Culkin Shaving Scene Scream)))

"Tiiiiiiimmmmeeee is on my side. Yeeesss it is."

Movie Time: Let's review Ninja Assassin.

I saw it. I loved it (for what it was...a bloody gore fest of blood). I love Ninjas. I love Ninjas vs everyone else. I could give you a real review, but instead I will discuss a few Ninja truths that I walked out of the theater with. 

Ready. Seta. Go:

1. All ninjas are not Asian. However, the good ones, are.
2. Ninja have an unlimited supply of ninja stars.
3. Ninja clans roll very, very, very deep...like unlimited.
4. You cannot do Ninja moves, when your fingers have been cut off. Fact.
5. Ninjas dressed in white cannot beat ninjas dressed in black. Studies show.

I warn you, do not doubt these Ninja truths. Or it may cause you your life.
via todayandtommorrow

Studdly Kicks.




$1200 USD per pair. As absolutely silly as the price is...these are cool, no?

Freelancing: The Email.

This is some entertaining sh*t. Funny email exchange between David (the client) and Simon (the freelance).

Hello David,

I would like to catch up as I am working on a really exciting project at the moment and need a logo designed. Basically something representing peer to peer networking. I have to have something to show prospective clients this week so would you be able to pull something together in the next few days? I will also need a couple of pie charts done for a 1 page website. If deal goes ahead there will be some good money in it for you.

Simon



From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 16 November 2009 3.52pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Logo Design


Dear Simon,

Disregarding the fact that you have still not paid me for work I completed earlier this year despite several assertions that you would do so, I would be delighted to spend my free time creating logos and pie charts for you based on further vague promises of future possible payment. Please find attached pie chart as requested and let me know of any changes required.

Regards, David.

see how it ended here...

Glow in the Dark Ads.




"From EuroRSCG São Paulo, Brasil comes this print campaign that glows in the dark. When the lights are on you only see half the story, turns the lights off and you'll see what goes on in the shadows."

Interesting idea. Using a technique to reinforce a message. I'm into it. Even though the glowin the dark reveal make me cringe- no matter how many times I see it. 

VIA adland

11.29.2009

When Books come to Life.



animation from London’s Andersen M studio, for the New Zealand Book Council, from agency BBDO. Good idea, even better execution.

I Want It: Flipant Umbrella.

Not just to flip off the rain. But also...the NY rush hour crowd. Word.

The Linkdown: Post Turkey Edition.

1. Not-Right Nativities.

2. Megan Fox goes spread eagle. First thing she has ever done that was more weird than sexy.

3. You can get anything on craigslist.

4. When a relative asks, "What exactly do you do?" This is the wisest answer.


6. The World's Strongest Beer in Scotland. 32% , I want it in my belly now


8. Foot Pajamas for grown ups. The best part is the drop seat...so you never ever have to take them off.

9. The perfect umbrella for the Gentleman Warrior.

10. The Hand Job ring. Finally, jewelry that that really gives back.

11.27.2009

This is Awesome.

Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart. Alicia Keys.



I'm loving this song right now.

An Now that Turkey Day is over...

You can poop it all out and get back to work. Cheers.

Butt Face.


It might be real...it might be fake, but it's definitely implying that "people who wear sunglasses are assholes." Not butter face, but straight up butt faces. Like, your face...is an ass. Ehhhh...I want to say they are wrong. But they are kinda right. Ha, and now all my fashion readers have unsubscribed to me. And all my ugly readers that hide behind their shades of glory too.

Oh wait, what fashion readers?

I kid. I kid. But really this idea should not have left the agency. Especially without more than a headline.

THE MUPPETS – BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY.



Genius!

Word.

VIA oneplusinfinity

Obama is a Reptile Alien.



OK, lets just dive right back into it. The Turkey was good and so was the company( a little drama-perhaps a failed engagement), but I miss the crazy that is other peoples thoughts. FOX news reported a gem recently. They are claiming that the new prime time show "V" is in some way mocking the liberal agenda, in particular President Obama admirers.

Here's my thought.....have you seen the show? I'm aware it a remake of some old cult classic or something, but the plot is about as complicated and interesting as an old piece of belly button lint. If this is the best Obama bashing one can think to deliver then we should all be join the priesthood. The show is about a reptile alien race that is trying to take over the world by gaining human trust. Can we take a second to appreciate the simple discrimination of comparing Aliens to the President of the United States on national tv?

Yawn. How about some semi relevant and believable news. Or is Julia from LOST and Morris Chestnut giving away O'Rielly handjob sandwiches and i dint get a memo? I hate when that happens.


11.26.2009

A Turkey Truth.

Ive been MIA. Im hosting Thanksgiving this year. And to that I say...Im thankful for red wine.

Turkey Day Text:

Me: I think Roy the turkey just set aflame.

Girlfriend: Oh lord, I'll hope not. We haven't even cooked it yet.

Me: Possession, I'm guessing

Girlfriend: You think it's because I sodomized him?

Me: Yeah, you're a Turkeyphile. Please let the state of NY know as well as your neighbors.


Have a good one guys. Enjoy family and friends. And eat your life away. Literally.

image VIA yesbutnobutyes

11.24.2009

Im LOLing

My Little Gaga.

Conan OBrien...Zinnnggg.


Kirstie 
(via twitter): "I'll tell you ONE BITCH I'm gonna knck [sic] out next time I see her is CONAN O'BITCH O'BRIAN..that guy acts like I bit his dick off...


Obrien:
"My penis is not on the Weight Watchers diet--I looked it up. She can have a shake, one slice of wheat bread and then a sensible penis."




Person of the day returns to give kudos to Conan's zinger. I actually witnessed this live (via tv). And my girlfriend actually gasped and gave a "not acceptable" look...which means that it was a reallyREALLY good joke. He devoted like 2 segments to getting at her. I tell you...where's Travolta and the talking babies when you need them.

Alot of celeb news this week thusfar. Weird right?

My Parents Were Awesome.


A truly retro site that takes us back in time...to when and where our parents were cool as hell. Here are a few pics to wet your whistle. 

 Let's go back in time. You can't get anymore retro than this right here. 

The Linkdown.



1. PETA provides us with a nice thought, right before the holiday. Per usual.


3. Brandy sings in a bathroom. Everyone sounds great in the bathroom. If we were going off of sounding good in the shower, I'd be famous. Make another album already.

4. Levi Johnson changes his name to Levi Johnston

5. Sometimes things make other things. Let's make ads out of it.

6. Finally, a useful cross. On a third day, he built an ikea desk.

7. The Magic Paint Bucket tie. Photoshop geeks unite. How about we look at different colored fabric.


9. My celeb hero....looking like a bum. Kinda makes him cooler, no?

10. Liberal media strikes again. This is some scary sh*t America!


11.23.2009

Minority Christmas Ad.


This ad will work wonders. "Tight Fades" are in right now.

Make Me. Janet Jackson.



Annnd she's back. I can dig it.

Disney Fruit Art.

 A few iconic scenes from Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, made from 14 different types of apples. 

*blank stare*


The AMAs...I guess.



I guess, alot of things happened at the AMAs last night. To be honest....I accidentally stumbled upon it and I changed the channel to look at cartoons. I have the week off (so I've been watching TV all day), and everyone is talking about people falling and looking a fool. But most of all, the world is a-gasp over American Idols- Adam Lambert. I refuse to actually look into it. But I find these pics highly entertaining. Read about it here. If you want. 

I actual ("Gay-people-being-over-the-top") entertainment story of the week...is the Miss Gay Brazil awards. Only if more pageants were like this... 

That's all I got. 


Polar Bears don't have Wings.



This shock ad looks like it was produced by M. Night Shamamamalan. All we are missing is Mark Walbergh's terrible acting. If you don't get the "The Happening" reference...good for you. Good for you. 

You may be asking yourself, "What's the connection here...?"

11.22.2009

I Want it: Winter Wonders.




Starcow's down-filled jackets and vests (sans the down vest...cause they don't really make that much sense).

11.20.2009

Balance.


"You must have something to give you balance. Better it be another person than a thing. A place is good, too. But no matter what or whom it may be, remember that all of this is fleeting. Most of all, remember that YOU may be that person for someone else."

- Corey King the the [mostly] truestory

T-Rex Eating Jesus Fish Decal.

I'm not sure what's more entertaining.....a t-rex eatting the Jesus fish, or the fact that the t-rex is holding the Jesus fish with it's little baby arms. Hahahaha. Oh boy. Get it, put it on your car drive around down south and see how many Christians confront you. 

On the next episode of When Christians Attack!

Lacoste Croc Myths










Lacoste goes international with their new (to me) campaign that tells "Croc Myths" from around the world. Each spot is dedicated to a world region and tells the story of the Croc in perspective to that culture. It seems like Lacoste employed different artist for different spot, so they all have their own feel and quality. But the voice over talent is always a Frenchman. It's smart...it's different...and it's whimsical- especially the African one. This is the first fashion ad I've seen in a long time that actually tries to speak to and about the brand. It's something more than fabric and a crocodile emblem. Welcome Lacoste, to a little thing I like to call "Having an Idea."

Kudos.

Funny.

VIA things

11.19.2009

The Virgin Mary Meets The Beastie Boys.

Check it out closer  here

Booty Poppin in the Cemetery.



Sometimes we do high brow. Other times I post things like this. Forget "turning" in your grave. The hip thing to do is make those cheeks bounce on the grave. 

*raise your hand if your a little uncomfortable with the preteen getting down in this video.

wear this 3





hey everyone. its been a while since ive done one of these but that's because i was out shopping for new things and then was stuntin on the streets to find out if it was a success.

Now that fall is coming to an end, I'm still going for that sophisticate motorcyclist look but now more refined with a wild side.

I highly suggest wearing this ensem with the mara hoffman coat or something with a similar shape. With this on, you will feel like lady of the night and BAM! once you take it off you will reveal how sexy you look in the body hugging skirt and leopard print blouse.

add simple jewelery to the ears and a unique piece to the wrist. no necklace. Oh and i might tuck the blouse in a little.

Swag on!

Simple Ads.

Genius because it's simple. That's all. 

VIA KMBA

And Another.


You know how I do. I get obsessed with movies and then post everything I can find about them. Here's another Alice in Wonderland Poster. I have to say, I definitely like the cute version of the caterpillar Disney created more. This one is kinda... nightmare-ish

If I ever Fall In Love.



It's been a heavy video week. Hmmmm, anyway 2 points with this weeks Throwback Thursday.

1. Anyone alive in the 90's who could hold a note, was trying to sing this song. Am I lying? I remember in highschool, I put together this shoddy group and we used to practise all the group love songs with dreams of making it big one day. We sounded good. But alas here I am in 2009....not a professioinal singer. 

2. On another note, Throwback Thursday wants you to turn this tune on at home. Guys, sing it to your special someone tonight...even if you can't sing. Results are highly successful (studies have shown). I promise. 

Dress Like a Grown Up.

A blog about dressing like a grown up. Don't be afraid...it's only natural. You can't be a hipster hobo skater boy in Jordons for the rest of your life. Trust me, it's ok for your jeans to fit. 

Colors.

-photographer Kerstin zu Pan

Hot Chicks: Thandie Newton.

Thandie, Thandie, Thandie. I love the fact that she can look like an everyday girl, but then she gets glitzed and glamoured up and she looks like a freakin movie star, every god damn time. Completely gorgeous. Thoroughly talented. She is what I like to call....a not so tragic mulatto.

11.18.2009

Deliciuos Ads.



Line: It will go fast.

Mmmmmmmmm, delicious VW....delicious. 

Agency: BIG, Bejing China