Brazil Ads.

cover your eyes if you are under.....well, just cover your eyes if you've never seen girly parts before.

you really must click the image and make it larger. The question I guess, is how far (and much) is too far (and much)?

Leo Burnett Brazil

Brazil is also know for this lovely gem of T&A. Ogilvy Mathers...

are you a male virgin?

Google ads has all the answeres you need.
Wait for it.........

sean bell.

Well, I f*cked up on Monday. I received that mass forwarded text message to dress in all black and I forgot.
The text read something like this **Wear all black Monday for the injustice verdict in the Sean Bell case.*** And then they asked me to play along in the forwarding.
Anyone who knows me knows that I absolutely hate forwarded messages, but this...I would have done. If you haven't heard, all 50 bullets fired at an innocent man, Sean Bell, killing him the night before his wedding day were deemed accidental. The police men were acquitted of all charges.
Let me get this correct...racism and prejudice are not a problem anymore...right?
Anyway....if you would like the shirt...click the picture. Your not the only one outraged my this injustice.

just a few (10) things.

ok...so I have alot of stuff that I wanted to put out there today...so Im doing a "just a few things post"....to bring me up to date.

1. I want your baby. Are you having a baby, but dont want it. Please contact Michelle and Gideon (No worries Gideon is not a from a Toni Morrison novel). They just really want to adopt your baby. And this isnt sketchy at all...their attorney's number is right on thier web page. Even call him collect if you want.

Welcome to 2008 baby. Use social networking to get a baby instead of the traditional sperm to egg way. I bet if they had a myspace account...thier issue would be resolved within the hour.

2. Recently, over 1,500 students kitted (?) out in waterproof ponchos discovered exactly what happens when you drop a mint sweet into a bottle of Coca Cola, in an attempt to break a world record. KAAABOOOOOOOM!
Ohhh Belgium....dont you have better things to do with you time than drop mentos in diet coke bottles? I mean...we still need to solve world hunger...and there is that terrorist thing. But you are confirming an already know fact..... BTW, Does anyone know why this happens? I think its extremely dangerous and someone should sue somebody (ie try experiment at home tonight and "suffer" and injury...to collect thousands from the coke company...muhahahaha).

3. Getting deported sucks. Its not all fun and games (and a catchy dance move) like the 2003 hit Deport Dem by reggae artist Sean Paul, may suggest. Especially is your gay. Since no one in American really, really supports Gay marriage, it appears that man on man love cannot quit go head to head with immigration. (please note the video at the bottom of the linked page).

What US Immigration doesn't know is....they are messin with an advertising creative, who has decided to run a private ad in the Washington Post. Are your ready to rummmmbllllleeee.
*Please note....the ad really sucks. Looks like it was done in Microsoft Word. But, I guess media, is media right?
4. "Hey, everybody gotta wear cloths, and if you dont, you get arrested"- Mr T
You make a valid point...so now we must listen to learn how to be "Stylin".

5. Ohhh man....my hair idol got arrested. Gary Dourdan of "CSI" was caught by the cops possessing heroin, cocaine, ecstasy and prescription drugs. And kids, that's what we call a drug bust.

The sad part is....how his hair looks in this picture right here to the right...is how mine looks on a good day. And he is still rockin it better than me. Damn it!!!!!! I think I need some colored contacts.

6. I really cant wait to get married.

7. Yester-year celeb sex tapes. Remember some weeks ago when it was discovered that Marilyn Monroe had a sex tape. Well, I didnt report it because well, i didn't find it all that interesting. First, the fact that the supposed BJ occurred decades ago suggests that there was some man holding an old ass camera (probably turning a wheel to make it work)..its probably in black and white or some aweful sepia tone and plus...there is no zoom. Secondly, the thought of thinking about a BJ from a woman who has been dead for years is creepy. But now.... Jimi Hendrix has one. And one can only imagine the crazy sh*t he did. Its the 70s. He is a rock God. Groupie-dom was at its all time high. And lets face it...its probably the most entertaining porn any of us have ever seen in out entire lives.

And that my friends, is reason enough to do a google search when I get home this evening.

P.S. fast forward a decade or two...and Star Wars has a sex scandal...Episode XXX(that's 30, right?).

8. I mean...it was bound to happen. America's Next Top Model inspires an attempted homicide. Word on the street is that Trya is sending out subliminal message (from her huge forehead) to young semi attractive girls across the country...telling them that everyone can be a model, and to kill the competition before they kill you.

9. Dont blame Anne. I would like to state the following thing about the Miley Cyrus scandalous photos...not that it matters. Disney will definitely sink thier claws (or mouse gloves) into it and rectify the situation. But Anne does no wrong. I blame the Cyrus family. or maybe Vanity Fair. I mean...I dont think the pics are racy at all. But being a mouse star is a slippery slope to whoredom/craziness.
Besides...this photo is way more disturbing than any topless teen nude could ever be.

Who takes pictures like this with thier parents? creepy.

10. And most importantly...Halle Berry is back on the scene. And shes is taking the twins everywhere. And Im not talking about babies. HEEEYYYYYOOOOO!


will it blend/make sense?

So...I need an obscure youtube talent. Like say...being known for blending stuff.
Then I could be in commercials too.

I literally forgot what this commercial was about, after 10 seconds, while writing this entry(blog entry would be the technical term). Maybe its because I haven't had my first morning cup of coffee yet, but I feel like I was just taken on a nonsensical brain roller coaster through ideas and concepts...moving pictures with words that in no way logically connected with each other.
Oh modern humor. Either I'm a little nauseous or I need a shot of expresso. I'll go with the later.

BRBACC. (be right back after coffee consumption).

UPDATE: Nope, Ive had a small country worth of coffee, and I still dont get it.


Latarian Milton.

Reporter: "But did you know you know that you could perhaps kill somebody?."
7 year old Latatian: "Yes, but I wanted to do hood rat stuff with my friend."

There is alot to say here....but I'll sum it all up in one question....why is 7yr old Latarian able to stand for that interview?

 His ass should be in recovery from a major...major ass whopping.

i need gay approval.

I had a good weekend, thanks for asking.

I have officially accepted my future in HR after attending my "boss's'" birthday party. Her crib was sick. I mean...really impressive. And if it only takes me...lets see, Im 23....17 more years to get to the top of the HR game. I think I am willing to submit the time and effort. After I kill myself. Twice.
Anyone looking for a good looking, fairly accurate, slightly bombastic AD? Email me.
Anyway, Saturday turned into a bit of a blur. Started drinking around 4pm. There was pulled pork involved. Mmmm. A drinking board game called Manland and then we ended up at what I call a gay night club. Yes. I said it. There was a group of 5 (2 girls) and a guest from out of town, and we end up at a gay club. btw Looked nothing like the picture above.

Now...everyone I was with said it wasn't a gay bar. And I admit, the upstairs was pretty straight. But, the basement...was totally gay. My roommate, who has apparently been to gay bars said that we were not at one. I asked some girls outside the bar, and after they insinuated that I was gay (which is completely my fault so I let it slide)...there response was "NO, gays clubs are fun....and that wasn't no fun."

excusing the double negative....wat do you think:

- heavy techno music in the basement
- a bunch of men grinding all up on each other
- gay friendly urinal reading material
-the club had some really obscure name...like Despair or
-the bathroom attendant was a black man with a perm
-everyone was kind of ignoring us (Ive been told that this is possible hetero phobia)
- terms used...."grl....." and "ok, do it...." I really was hoping someone used the term fierce.

all the ingrediants for Queer as Folk and Will and Grace (minus Grace) mixed up into one, right? Or no....

I need an analysis. Cause Im all confused and stuff. You know...its ok if it was gay....it would've popped the square hetero bubble Im living in...but everyone keeps telling me lies. There must be an answer out there. Isnt there a set way/place/thing that defines a gay club?

Like....men dancing with other men? Per se.........

lost that damn "N" key again.

A word filled with such hate and malice.....found online in the form of a joke. Scholars say we are merely giving the word power by ignoring it....and when I say scholars, I mean Caucasian people. Coincidence?
I'm just joking. Ill put my radical black movement suit back in the closet. The image did make me laugh.

belvedere, streaks on the china.

Its simple really.
Belvedere is not just a preppy vodka, its an unorthodox underground movement.....,
or just some strange obscure commercial.

well, whatever the case... you'll at least get a blow job if you buy it, according to this print ad. Oh...also buy some capri. Or capri 2 . Or Absolute. Or Frogoli. Damn....apparently all liquors get you some. But I wouldn't mess with Frogoli...teeth are deadly.

But yeah...sex sells Alcohol. Fact. I was pounding some Grey Goose (don't ask, you know I'm too poor to buy it) last weekend...and I got a BJ. Wait...just kidding. I did get real drunk though.

Now for a treat. The real Mr Belveder.

VIA Animal NY

doesn't everybody?

useless taxes.

according to the gothamist NY state officials have agreed to increase the tax on cigarettes by $1.25, which would give NY State the highest per-pack tax of $2.75. And in NYC, there's that $1.50 tax, so Big Apple residents will have to pay $4.25 in cigarette taxes ::head cock to the side::.

According to the article, "studies" have indicated that this move should encourage approximately 6% of the state's smokers to quite....and discourage high schoolers.

This upsets me.

I dont think its right for the government to add obscene taxes to the things that they deem unhealthy. Im pretty sure this is America. And this tax, like everything else will only have a resounding effect on the poor people of the city. While the upper class can continue to go on buying cigarettes at the upward of $15 a pack while they sip their aged Brandy... the poor single mother if forced to make a decision between grocery shopping or a pack of cigarettes.

If you want to argue smoking as being "a choice," I cant argue there...but please, you must then put a tax on everything unhealthy. Fast Food. Watching excessive amount of TV. Not exercising. Working the wood too much (lol, sorry...inappropriate).

The word I'm looking for is extortion. And all over some made up numbers and "studies". To think that price is what is going to hold a high school student back from smoking, is about as ignorant as thinking they wont have sex if condoms are too expensive.

And I'm not even that avid of a smoker, I just think this is a bit of an injustice. Being punished for enjoying a simple pleasure. Its like we are children...
Its prohabition all over again. And we all know how that turned out. Ugly women and sobriety. Not a good look.


Oh man. Talk about a provocative and intense portfolio. Take 15 minutes out of your day to look at this guy's stuff. You wont regret it....promise.

tranny hair removal.

Its true, its true...transvestite men have a deceptively low tolerance for pain. So they need that machine thing from philips...as oppose to a simple razor. At first I thought this was a commercial for pain, then I thought it was an expose for tranvestites like on A&E or something, then I thought it was the next Dove spot, but then it ended with a hair removal devise, that is less "painful" than the razor I used on my face this morning.
Is it me...or did they miss the mark? Straight men probably dont want to associate themselves with the tranny down the street. Im just saying.

UPDATE: Its British...which explains everything. ::sigh of relief::


still, still going to hell.

btw , I didnt make this....so, Im still in the clear for the Pearly Gates.

VIA Wheres My Jetpack?

viral makes me nervous.

how many posters can one movie have?
The answere....alot. So when you are tryin to write a blog that keeps track of movies and what not....hold off on the good stuff, and try not too blow your load to early. Here are 4 more Batman Posters.

I was trying really hard not to go into the viral marketing that this movie had put forth. There is a whole Harvey Dent - fake politician thing happening. There are vans that go around Manhattan setting up fake tables of support and stuff. There is also a website. I didnt want to get too tied up in it...cause it had the vague essence of Cloverfield.

But this viral site cannot be ignored. When you get in the site, expect some defaced presidential portraits, when you click them... city-specific countdown clocks appear. They are all different. BUZZZZZZZ! Chicago only has 1hr and 42 minutes...until "something happens." I can just feel the excitment....a.k.a passing this over to you, the responsible reader.

I will forget about this entire post in 10 minutes.


the list, first round.

Recently, dream boat Ashton Kutcher wrote a column for Harper's Bazaar on his biggest turn-offs. And because you're dying to know, here they are:

Excessive perfume use: “If I can smell your perfume and we’re not making out, you’re wearing too much. More of a lot of things in life is better. Perfume does not apply.”
Big diamonds: “Women who wear big blingin’ stones don’t look like they have a lot of money; they look like they have a lot of someone else’s money. I don’t want my woman looking like she got bedazzled.”
Pantsuits: “I like seeing a female body as much as the next guy, but a midriff on display does not do it for me. By the same token, sexlessness is just that. I call it the Hillary Clinton Look. She would be so much more appealing if she just took off the pantsuit, took a lesson from Jackie Kennedy, and found her own Oleg Cassini.”

As interesting as that list is, I have decided to come up with my own lists turn offs :

UglyLaughs- I like to laugh...and make people laugh. So, if your laugh is not up to par...cute in everyway...I will make you dump me. Case closed. I'll probably just stare at you with a slight grimace on my face and a rare steak in my left hand ready to throw it at your face if you even begin to crack a smile.

Webbed Ear Drumbs- Ewww. I need a clear and defined "dip" in between the ear and what I call the "ear-neck connector." And I don't really think this is a big thing to ask for. If your neck is at the same time your ears, you should probably never date anyone. I mean....really....

Outtie- Theres just no way I could do it. Your belly button should be in. Like mine. Like everyone elses. Like normal people. Your an Alien.

Man feet-It goes without saying that I hate feet. Feet touching me grosses me out. If you touched my feet, I'd be grossed out. I especially hate feet on feet action. I usually freeze up. And start crying from my left eye duct. If you have man feet...you know, and I know we cant date. Cause that means the girl couldnt wear flip flops. We couldnt go swimming. It just wouldn't be fair...to the girl.

Uncomfortable Quiets- You need to be comfortable with not talking all the time. If Im not talking...its probably cause I have nothing to talk about. Don't ask me why Im not talking? Or what Im thinking? Why are you talking? Stupid question receive stupid answers. Im not a machine, woman.

Dresses with Flip-flops- In general...I dont like this look. But this one is pretty relative. I am willing to go with the times- but it's not the Behemian Revolution. And its not an episode of the Hills.

Genital Piercing- Cant say that Ive been there...but there is something about the idea that is very unappealing...like wearing Long johns to the beach or riding a bicycle with my eyes closed.

And that's it. If you have none of these things, you pass the first round of interviews. I would go into the second....but thats where I really do the weeding out.

Now that we got that out the way...I expect resumes to just start rolling in.

prison inches.

This fat inmate, Broderick Lloyd Laswell was apparently fatter....way fatter before he went to jail. And after just 8 months he went from 413pounds to 308. And well, he is upset about that. And has filed a civil lawsuit against the Benton County jail house in Fayeteville (where?) for not providing inmates with enough food.

While one is probably in the middle of asking themselves exactly how a person in jail is allowed to file a legal complaint and/or why a fat person who even try to do something illegal in the first place(as if they could run from the cops), Laswell's official complaint, "There are noticeable differences on the size of biscuits and cakes, as well as the sides."

My First Thought: Ok fatty, this isnt Legal Sea foods...youre in prison. Regular people dont weight 400 pounds. So if you eat like a regular person, you become one.

My second thought: Ive got about 2 months until summer...how can I get arrested in Fayeteville and be back intime for the beach opening? Seriously. Any ideas?

creep me out pony.

ok, MSG is hosting a live My Little Pony show, and this monstrosity is the outcome. When I first saw this...I called my mother just to confirm reality...and, well there was also a brief consultation regarding over sized childhood toys...
"There's a Pony under my Bed trying to eat my feet."
I may, or may not have been yelling while rocking in my place.

fundamentalist vogue.

So you may not be a big fan of polygamy. Or maybe your not into the whole underage girls being married off to 60 yr old skeeze bags. But you must admit....these Mormons sure can put together an out fit.
Stylin. Ready for the runway. And fierce to the bone. Italian inspired no doubt.


Love in this Club. Usher.

it took some research but I finally got it. Usher is making a comback.

Not so much with the remix though.

sex and the weekend

ok, I could potentialy regret this post...but for you ladies and/or the man or two who has watched enough episodes of Sex and the City to know that Carrie (once a cheater always a cheater) Bradshaw got excatly what she deserved when she cheated with Mr Big...not that I would know.....

I have stumbled upon the official Sex and the City the Movie theme song. With a small resemblance to the tv show theme, Fergie delivers yet another shallow rendition of a song colored with count downs (1,2,3) , talking bits and repetition.

Now onto a weekend filled with manly things....like wrestling bears and providing for my family. Me man. Me make fire.


bad ass movie poster. check.

my question is...who doesnt want to see this movie? Aw-aw-aw-aw-awesome. If you dont...your probably a fascist.

Go home fascist.

press firmly for 30 seconds.

And this may win the award for bad ideas in 2008. A tattoo of your skin being ripped away, to reveal the Spider man outfit underneath.
I wonder how long he thought about this before he got it done. He obliviously didn't run it by....say a minority. I would have told him to step away from the situation. Look at it objectively. For the rest of his life he will have this tattoo. Its not like they can turn it into anything else. This....is stupid.
He clearly should've gotten Super Man.

welcome back tv.

just as the year seemed to be getting bleaker, my very favorite of favoritest tv shows have reemerged from the dark depths of writers strike/IHOP (?).

Real World 20- Hollywood: I know that technically, I may be a little too old to still be watching this show, but the casting this season is so on the money, that you would be doing yourself a great disservice not to at least set your DVR to record this show, and watch it at your conveninece. I think since Real World Key West, the show has kinda been on a decline. Producers were trying too hard to cast people for the sake of drama, and everyone knows that the best drama produces itself. This season...has the potential to be genius. Real World is back. They decided to take a side step to current gays in tv trend (gotta have a gay person in our show, it the in thing to do) and instead opted to put 2 black guys in the house (one to many if you ask me). One of them was apparently voted into the house by online fans...he refers to people as "peasants" and walks around the house in a full robe and pajama set. Very classy. We are only two episodes in and the southern belle (who reminds me alot of my Texan roommate's friends) has already called the black-like girl "ghetto" and will go down in history, in my book for saying that said "ghetto" girl was from BLACK-ville. Remember when you were on national TV being a ignorant/racist? Oh, btw.....the black-like "ghetto" girl is....a stripper in real life. Oh....and my favorite....Joey from the Chi. He has some serious emotional issues....deep, deep inside. He is an angry drunk and a cryer. Please, please, please look at this clip below. Im telling you...Joey is the star player this season. This is going to be a good f*ckin season. I'm in love already.

In other news...30 Rock is back and so is The Office. Gladiator is returning in mid May. And LOST is back. Last nights episode was real real good. The smoke monster is back. I've only been alluding to this dude for 3 years before the writers decided to tie him back into the plot. And apparently, the smoke monster does favors. You give him a phone call, and he..it wackes people...with the quickness. After an hour, I was left baffled and confused...but at least some loose ends were tied up. Some character were offed, so we wont be forced to set through there boring back stories. And Ben...is pretty bad ass. ANTM is winding down. We are at the top 5, and the big girl model is still around. They are slowly but surely making good decisions about who to kick off the show, but there needs to be a rule...transvestites can no longer be allowed. I mean, yeah, it was funny at first, but this man-woman is still on the show. And I would also like to bring the following to table...I think Tyra's head is getting a little too gassed up. I understand that you did some things Tyra. But...your just a model...correction, you were a model. Your are not changing the world, you are taking pictures. Leave the tude at home fatty. Just be nice. Your not Diddy, just be regular and not a b*tch.

And now, for the finale.....the new member to my weekly line-up. Hell's Kitchen. Talk about mindless entertainment. The premise...this "famous Chef"...Chef Ramsey (who is a Brit, go figure), is running this kitchen were he on a weekly basis challenges a bunch of cooks, and kicks the weak link off at the end. So basically it is like every elimination reality show ever made, except...Chef Ramsey don't take no sh*t. He is a complete asshole. And the contestants....really, really suck. So those two factors combined make up an hour of yelling and screaming, horrible commercial break outros and sexism. It's fun. It ridiculous. And at in end...you too can be a "famous chef." Ummmmm, riiiigggghhhhht.....

thesbian trees and the IRS in drag.

throwback Thursdays presents a 2 for one. Star of choice...Wesley Snipes in If White Man cant Jump then Black Men Cant Pay Taxes. (without Rosie Perez)

So apparently filing your taxes is a BIG THING. Like 3 years in prison, a big thing. Wesley apparently hasn't filed his taxes since....errrr 1998. And it has finally caught up to him. Yesterday he received a 3 year sentence, even after cutting the IRS a check for 5 mill on the spot.

"There is no secret formula that eliminates a person's tax obligations, nor are there any special exceptions," said the IRS spokes machine. "The majority of Americans pay their taxes timely and accurately. Those who willfully violate the law must be held accountable."

Ok IRS. Here is the deal. I understand the situation, But apparently, you are not fully aware of what Mr Snipes has done for America in the mean time. He has literally saved the world with his bare hands, has at least on three accounts (dont know what her does with his spare time) brought down demon night creatures with his Blade of fury and bloody vengeance, and most of all...he looks fierce in a heel.

*ummmmmmm, I use to love this movie as a kid. That's our little secret. 1995.

The best part about this is that Snipes' celebrity friends are really supporting him. Actors Denzel Washington,Woody Harrelson, television judges Joe Brown and Greg Mathis. They all have his back. Almighty Dnezel said, " he (Snipes) is like a tree -- a mighty oak ... Many who know him have witnessed the fruit of his labors, have sat in his shade and even been protected by his presence. I am proud of him, proud to call him a fellow thespian and most importantly, proud to call him a friend."

Lol...what? Ok Denzel. Are you sure your not dipping into the kool aid.

Homecoming. Kanye West.

So, I am up for BET late night...catching up on my hip hop needs and wants.

I really do hate Kanye...but he is a talent, and he makes interesting videos.
Let me assure you that I know nothing of the hood...but me and Lake Michigan go way back. I feel just a little famous.


side hustle.

you cant say that this blog is not gender friendly. Here....some tips, to make...well, extra tips. 

*please note...do not start "working the pole"  to pay for school. Its a sure way to a set profession.


job security.

today is take your son and daughter to work day at my "job."

unfortunately there will probably be little to no blogging today (try not to cry in public), but the good news is....I do have alot to talk about....from the new Real World to the cosmos beyond.

Whereas last year, take your son and daughter to work day was more like , "drop your kid off with the temp, Shaun day." This year promises to be a triumphant "Shaun you've been in the exact same place doing the exact same crappy thing" day.

That's a year folks....count it up. And what better way to celebrate than to watch a bunch of rich kids?!?


Alicia Keys. Teenage Love Affair.

Good song...I wouldnt have picked it for a video. There are tons of better songs on the album. Like the one they played during the break...makes you do the thinking man and just start boppin.

Still, I do like school daze.

"I got no preference" sinage.

denim geek.

to assure that Nerds everywhere are always wearing pants designer Erik De Nijs has made these lovely pair of trouser call "the Beauty and the Geek” jeans.

What would a ridiculous contraption be, without some ridiculous quotes to go with it?

"These 'modern shaped trousers which are often worn by youngsters..' are the perfect solution for Googling quick exits while running from the fashion police."

"Built into the knees are a pair of crotch rocking speakers, around the back you have the added convenience of a back pocket for your "mouse", and for you gamers, there is a joystick controller located just behind the front zipper."

Avoiding the joystick penis joke completely (because I'm "mature")...I don't think I have ever seen an item that allows a stranger to point out nerdiness so vividly and completely. Pocket protectors....fanny packs....glasses (NEEEERRRDDD alert) all, are subpar. Let me see someone on the street with these. They'll probably be busy hacking into the pentagon useing code or playing Dungeons and dragons or something.
I'll be forced to give them a wedgie.

suicidal kids.

"Its the end of the world without it."
Chupa Chups (lollipops)
Ok, there is no real message....or target, but these are so funny. I laughed out loud at the shot of milk and the teddy bartender.
Agency: Lowe Bull, Johannesburg, South Africa
Who knew South Africans had such a keen sense of humor?

gets me off.

It seems like the Office of Government Commerce in UK missed a little something when they approved this clean typographic logo. Do me a favor (its totally worth it)-look at the logo and tilt your head 90 degrees counter clockwise. Have you been enlightened? If not, your probably retarded.
Indeed...the five knuckle shuffle is always "well received."
I swear...designers get away with murder. In this case...baby murder (ewww rough joke).

closer to god.

Riddle of the day?
Helium balloons. A Catholic priest. Brazil. And bright ideas. What do they all have in common?

I swear I come up with ideas like this all the time. I mean, they usually occur somewhere between my 5th and 8th glass of Shiraz on a Friday night as Im scarfing down cheese puffs and watching reruns of Family Matters...but let it be known, that there was no Divine inspiration involved in this holy mishap.

"The Rev Adelir Antonio de Carli lifted off from the port city of Paranagua on Sunday afternoon, wearing a helmet, thermal suit and a parachute.
The smiling 41-year-old priest was strapped to a seat attached to a huge column green, red, white and yellow balloons, and soared into the air to the cheers of a crowd.
He was reported missing about eight hours later after losing contact with port authority officials."

The best part of this story is that they still havn't found him. GPS and all. And this was all done to raise money for an orphanage or something. Apparently, having a bake sale wasnt enough?

His first mistake was trying this little venture out in Brazil. Of all places, Brazil would be the last on my list for anything, but a Brazilian bikkini wax. Oh, and Brazilian pants. Also, this whole thing sort of reminds me of the episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark with the clown's nose ("The Tale of Laughing in the Dark"). I don't know why?

Well, here are my theories on what happened to Rev Antonio:
1. Alien Abduction (obviously)
2. God Abduction...God literally plucked him out of the sky.
3. He is trapped on a deserted island that doesn't really exist, and there are polar bears on it, and a smoke monster...and the rest of the cast of LOST. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if this all wasn't a elaborate hoax from abc for the show return this Thursday or....JJ Abrams (the mind manipulator).

4. Ummmmm, he is dead.

I bet he wished he had just made some brownies right about now.
*shout out to anonymous for putting me up on this story. Anonymous = someone who is too lazy to type in thier name, when they leave a comment. But they are still good people. Holler!