The Epic Battle between Hair and Dandruff.

This spot is awesome. It is something I would've thought up in portfolio school, and my sarcastic copywriter would let me ramble and then snap his finger at met and tell me to get focused. The voice over dude made this spot.

"From black into darkness, shadows see follicles bent and broke and slivers of sparks as dark and dandruff collide. Rage, rage against her breath of fear! Now frozen, silence marks the danse macabre. And into the dark, the icy blackness follows." 

It's story telling at its best. I enjoyed that it was long. I enjoyed the ethereal feel to it. All that was missing were...you guessed it, dragons. If it had dragons...I would relive this spot in my dreams. Oh...and magic.

Is it bad that I was kinda rooting for the dandruff creatures. Also, I would like to clarify, that this battle is not accuring on everyones head. My hair is moisturized as hell...but to you lucky bastards who had this war taking place on your scalps, you are kinda like....a god or something. Awww sh*t, my brain just got blown.

VIA adfreak

"I would tell members of my family, and I have, I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now. It's not that it's going to Mexico, it's you're in a confined aircraft when one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That's me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation suggesting they ride the subway. " 

-said Vice President Joe Biden said on NBC this morning. 

Really dude? Are you trying to cause mass hyssteria? I'm a New Yorker through and through. We gotta make that money. Purell is in my pocket and lysol is at my door. I just got off the train. Keep it movin....

Coloring in the lines (of stupid ideas).

I had a long day. But I wanted to share this with you before I went to bed, because I have been trying to write about it all day. 

Did you guys hear about the FEMA, Federal Emergency Management Agency (I had to look it up too) online coloring books that were recalled yesterday due to...well, you will see for yourself ? The coloring book, titled "A Scary Thing Happened," is geared towards helping kids cope with disasters. Check out the few pages that particularly caught my eye below. 






1. An online coloring book? Let's think about that for a second. 

2. Who in their right mind thinks that coloring in a terrorist attack is a good idea? People died. The imagery portrayed in this poorly drawn coloring book is literally branded into New Yorkers minds. It was a day of utter fear and confusion. It's is not a leave behind that your f*ckin kid needs to play with when he is sitting in the waiting room of his orthodontist.

3. Did I mention that the drawings are retard looking and half-assed. And that makes me particularly angry. F*cking Sponge Bob has more attention to detail.

- FIN

VIA animalnewyork

sorry yall

On Tuesday night begged my roommate to go out with me to this open bar i was invited to.
First, only the best parties happen on the weekdays (not including Friday).
Second, no one ever wants to go out with me on a week night because of their job the next morning.
Third, it is so hard to find a place that's hosting an openbar for 2+ hours anywhere in this city.
Fourth, its top shelf liquor (im not going to an open Smirnoff bar!).
Fifth, this place is too exclusive, so i had to go.

So i got sick! hahahha... and i even went to work, but.... had to leave early cause i was too ill. so finally last night around 11 i remembered that it was humpday. Now that i think about it, its funny cause yesterday was humpday and i was humped over yaking. (LOL... gross, i know)

Today is Throwback Humpday Thursday.
tunes that they used to hump to yesteryear.

4/29 humday


1. I FUCKIN LOVE THIS SONG!!!!! reminds me of one time back in chicago at a karaoke bar. I put on a great performance. wireless mic= more room to roam around the bar.
2. DUH... of course.
3. "...Then I kissed your lips And you tuned on my fire, baby..." one of the best duets ever. I love teena marie.
4. i fall in love just listening to this one.
5. "It ain't too bad the way you usin' me Cuz I sure am usin' you to do the things you do"--- that's right. don't get big headed thinking your the only one having fun.
6. talk about being used. this guy is just beggin for it.-- i say "Okay"
7. love brenton wood...
8. CLASSIC.
9. this shouldve be in my first playlist. "but i know you not gonna sing that SONG!"
10. reminds me of the sex and city ep when carrie judges the firemen.
11. added this one for giggles.


thats all.

LOL.

Throwback thursday has decided to promote healthy living. Now go, get your exercise on.

VIA themadvortex

oopsie

ummmm... i was so sick today.... and forgot that it was humpday. so ill be posting one soon. and tell you a story why i was sick.

thats all

The Visual Dictionary.

"Have a favorite word. See it's many real world incarnations over at visual dictionary. There's over 7500 images of over 4,000 words."

Found this at Daily Obsessional. It's a great blog done by a writer who works in Advertising. It's ALWAYS entertaining. The visual dicitonary.  This is a creatives wet dream. Words made to visuals. Maybe it's more of an an Art Directors dream.

Be a White Sox Fan...save a Bear.

Today's person of the day is Ashley Swendsen. She was hiking (problem number one) somewhere in Colorado Springs. She is 6 months pregnant. She was chased by a brown bear.

"I heard a rustle. I looked behind me and it was a bear--2 feet away," says Swendsen, "I freaked out and start running. It was chasing me for about 20 seconds."

She made it to the street. And then she got hit by a car. I know...it's wrong to laugh, especially with a potentially harmed fetus and all....but come on. This is like something straight from one of those spoof movies. You know right after she got stuck in the doggie door of a garage door and then someone made the door go up and it killed her. All the while, a purposely stereotypical black man with horribly sown in dreds witnesses the entire thing and says something like..."DYNOMIIITEE." Oh yeah...and Carmen Electra is involved somehow. Yes...I'm a visual man.

But anyway, the bear has since been caught and euthanized (as if it was it's fault she decided to go hiking). The car that hit Swendsen committed a hit and run. She and the unborn child are ok. Swendsen's response when she heard that the bear had to die "We're going to name the middle name of our baby, 'bear.''"

**side eye**

Someone has to take some responsibility here. Maybe if she didn't wear that cubs hat....

VIA latimes and bestweekever

She Loves Everybody. Chester French.

I may be late with this, but I'm feeling this song. I have been on the look out for this group since they did that track with Common, What A World. What can I say...my years of prep school are finally catching up to me. 

The Linkdown.

1. You really can't do this to New Yorkers. Photo oops mean terrorist attacks. I mean...I came home yesterday and sprayed my hands with Lysol (*Swine Flu on the Subway*).

2. Speaking of Swine Flu....track that sh*t with google maps. Trust me, I've looked up my neighborhood.

3.The sexiest can ever. 

4. Whoops, never mind. I'm not  Republican anymore. "X-X-DOT-DOT, now I've got my cuddies (sp?) shot."

5. Why The F*ck Did You Have a Kid!

6. Blockbusters knows how to keep their sales up (aka giving up). 

7. 15 years, one dead celeb and a free pedophile later...

8. Pepsi...you gotta choose sides. I'm not even into baseball, and even I have a team.

9. Megan Fox (one of the hottest chicks ever), apparently had some ribs taken out. 

Pretty Wings. Maxwell.

HOLY SH*T Maxwell is back. I'm sorry, but this dude was the slow jam master of the 90's. I had my first real make-out shesh to one of his songs. So...I'm a bit overly excited. I will be playing this on repeat tonight when I get home, rocking slowly and thinking about love. 

Let his reign continue....

Intimates for Men.

So i was buying underwears online.... ok, so I wasn't. What man shops for underwear online? 

Let's talk about buying men's underwear, shall we. Now I know there is a market for manties and such things. My friend sent this ad to me to provide a laugh. And in all honesty, it made me nervous. You are talking to someone who gets uncomfortable in the underwear section of H&M. My underwear purchasing life motto, why embarrass yourself when you can buy them 3 in a pack anywhere in the world. 

Nasty Pig?  Just Us Boyz? N Heaven? I don't want to be all "I Am Man, Hear me Roar" but personally speaking, I think Fruit of the Loom is too risqué of a purchase. But I must admit...I would  love to see the list of the brand names that didn't make the cut. A few simple rules: 1. Unless you are over 70, classic underwear briefs are unacceptable. 3. And unless you are in college or below, boxers with hearts on them are unacceptable. 3. Silk is overrated. 

Just my opinion. I'm signing out now, because this blog post makes me uncomfortable. 

YES, YES, YES.

I WANT IT! I want the Photoshop, Indesign and Illustrator pillows....I want them like I want my left lung!!!!

VIA oneplusinfinity

Goat Screams Like a Man...

...and it's creepy.

Aussie Ads. (Aussie Loves day Kids).

"The Australian Childhood Foundation, via ad agency JWT Melbourne, placed these suffocated child mannequin pieces in high foot-traffic areas around the city to raise awareness for neglected young ones. After an undisclosed period, the fake kids were torn loose (or stolen by pedophiles?), revealing the message “Thank you for seeing me.”

Oh Australia! Creepy ads can only go down in the place down under. Check out their website,

where you can see a spot of Aussie parents thanking you for looking the other way. I must say...I get it. It's shocking on purpose. But imagine it being 8am in the morning and you getting off your train with barely enough concentration/perception to sip your coffee while standing, and you see a child stuck behind a poster board? Depending on the day of the week, I may try to save the kid and call 911 in the process. But maybe it's just me. There's a prop on top of a prop on top of a prop. And that makes it...too prop-py and hence, ridiculous. But that's just my opinion. And then you pair all of that with a smiley face logo?....whap whap.  

Nice try though. 

VIA animalnewyork

Cute and Creative.

I thought I had the science down packed. My dad had it all wrong when he gave me that "The Birds and the Bees" speech. Oh wait...he didn't. I got all my "how to get pregnant" info from going to school in da Bronx. Fact.

VIA swissmiss

The New Star Trek.

We could play, guess who that young budding actor/actress (and in some cases, who have been trying to bud for years like...that Center Stage girl (black ballerina...yeah ok, but still kinda cute) and Harold (sans Kumar), and this guy and then there's that other kid who looks like the perpetual boy...perfect for pedophilia). It's like a giant game of "Don't I know You." But I'm not a Star Trek fan, which I think I've told you before. It's just that every time I see a commercial for this new Trek film....I get a tingly feeling in that part of my head that causes me to make rash and under developed movie watching decisions that always cost $12 or more. 

Anyway....it looks cool. It's going to be way over my head. But at least it looks cool. Did I say that already?

And if all of this wasn't enough for you Trek fans out there....here, go ahead Trek Yourself.

The End. 

Balloon Blow Jobs.

I have to get to The Museum of Sex. It's so small, but it seems so interesting. They handed out these balloons instead of the regular old pieces of paper. It's for their new exhibit “Exploring the pleasure of oral sex.”

Innnnntereeesssstiinnnggg....

Agency: Lowe, New York, USA

VIA ibelieveinadvertising

Good French Ads.

I think these are awesome. 







At first I was like...what the f*ck is going on? Then I got it. The animation is Awesome. The line: A Beautiful Word, is perfect. Did I mention that I love the animation. 

"Picture a board of Scrabble at the end of a game: words that have nothing to do with each other are crossing and overlapping, to the point that they sometimes tell a crazy story! Our creative idea is to turn this fabulous potential into images." 

This time, I have to give it to the french. This is the only thing they've gotten right since the french fry. And even that's iffy...depending of where you buy it.

Agency: Ogilvy & Mather in Paris

VIA adfreak

Beer...no, baby Ads.

Whoa! Is it me or does it seem like the creative team that got laid off from that Bud account some how got stuck making a spot about diapers. As I watched, I frantically tried to piece together the correlation between the baby who pisses like a hose and beer consumption. I was forced to stop and face the reality that the spot actually had nothing to do with an inebriated baby. Crazy right? Or maybe it's just me. But it had the same feel of a Bud light superbowl spot.
Weird...and not in a good way.

"We've got a great union. There's absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that. But Texas is a very unique place, and we're a pretty independent lot to boot."

- said Gov Rick Perry at one of the many Tax tea Parties last week.

Ummm, it's f*cking 2008. Did you just say union? Let's get it together Texas. I'm too old to hit up another Social Studies class. Which remindes me, I never told you about my trip to Texas. I went to Fort Worth, TX for Easter. They take their Cowboys (but mostly cowboy clothing) too seriously. Everything there is too big. It's too spread out. And that's all I remember.  My old roommate Kellen is going to kill me for writing this post. 

VIA huffingtonpost

Frame by frame, Girl Fight.

Shirtless girls in a fight club. They call it art, heavy in concept that tells a story. I call it, a bunch of f*cking awesome pictures of topless girls throwing down. What ever opinion you are leaning towards, you must admit....they are pretty awesome, no? 

Pillow Talk.

A blog devoted to quotations of the most personal....the bedroom (cue evil music). Here are a few to get you interested. 

"When you’re really drunk and I’m sober, you kind of annoy me. But when you’re really drunk, you talk dirty, which I like."

He said: “I came. I saw. I conquered. …but mostly I came.”

“When I kiss you,” he said, “I gather up all my emotion and try to put that into the kiss.”

“You took it like a champ,” he said.

"What do you mean you weren’t wearing a condom?!?"

Just remember...it's only funny, because it didn't happen to you.....yet.

Steroids with cream and two sugars.

So Dustin Pedroia of the Boston Red Sox gets his steroids poured into his morning iced coffee? I wonder how much one needs to get paid to admit something like that? It must be a lump sum of biblical proportions. Boooyahhhh (<---still drinking my coffee).

VIA adfreak

Stand Clear of the Closing Doors Please.

When you see this on your train in the morning...you know it's going to be a long day. Or...you are going to right angle land, inwhich the train only goes one way and you get a free T-9 calculator when you get off. This place is also know as hell. 

I havn't had my coffee yet = bad jokes galore. 

VIA eastvillageidiot

Another Challenge.

I'm about 3 weeks late with this and I apologize....blame my dvr. But let's talk TV. I consider myself a reality tv buff, but lately MTV has been falling off the map. Maybe I am slowly escalating out of the demographic that follows these types of shows, but the last Real World season in Brooklyn was about as interesting as talking to a toddler over the phone (stay focus you little f*cker). I can say the same about the last real world/road rules challenge, The Island...and I usually love these.  You see...I have vested interest. I want to like these shows...because I grew up on them. I know the players and the seasons/shows they came from. I know their twisted stories and pasts. If I were to see them on the street, I would gawk and stare. So I am waiting for the entertainment that was the past. And I am here to say that so far...this season is delivering. 

So, we have a new challenge. And like I said before...I usually love challenges. There is something about watching the same people continuously sign up for the same stagnant social experiment, beat each other up mentally and physically, ruin their "real life"relationships over show relationships and completely ignore the reality of growing up and getting a real job.....year after year. I love these kids. I love watching their emotions flair. I love watching them battle to the death for 50 k. I mean...I almost signed up for Real World back in the late 90s, so mentally...I'm not to far away from each and everyone of them. So this time they took 26 old and new Real World/Road Rulers to New Zealand. Because they are running out of alternate names for "challenge" and correlating numbers, they call it the Dual 2. The intro is the stupidest thing I have ever seen, to date. There are a few (very few) people I don't know. There are a few people who gained a little weight. One the stopped being bulimic. There are few people who have not learned that they should work out before coming on a show based around physical challenges. But whatevs...today I'm here to talk about the fight that happened in the first episode between CT and Adam. 

Yes....that is the only point of this post. Maybe I will throw a life lesson in there at the end. But I'm not making any promises.

Back story:

CT is a monster. He is from Boston, and he is a douchbag (those 2 things are almost synonymous). That being said....he is one of those douchbags that you just "let be." Cause he is clinically crazy. He goes full retard when ever he gets a chance and literally crushes everyone in the way. There is no initial edit for this dude. He is that guy who goes to jail for beating people to a bloody pulp over the Red Sox. He sucker punches gay dudes. He tells girls they are sluts to their face with no remorse. Yeah...that guy. So, CT starts dating this girl Diem. And then they break up. But they are on this challenge together (because lord forbid either of them get a real job and stop subjecting themselves to these shows).

Adam. He is the son of a musician. He is from Real World Paris. He has gotten punked on so many past shows, I can't even count the ways. Need I say more...

Scene 1 :

Adam to Diem: Whap whap whap...CT was messing around with fat Shavaugh (sp?)

Diem: Adam, you are such a real friend

Scene 2:

Enter CT

the end. 

That's it. The first fight happened in the first 5 minutes of the first episode. Little dude was literally running for his life at one point. Both Adam and CT got sent home. They got rid of a beast and a softy. What was the point of this blog? Well to show you a fight, duh. I must admit...I didn't really think this blog post through. Remember when I said that I would provide you with a life lesson. Well, I lied. And I'm allowed to lie...because it's my blog.

 Good night. 

Keepin It Real Cards.

Sometimes you don't want to "greet" people....in a kind way. You want to keep it real.

VIA broccolicity

The Linkdown.

1.  It looks like not all iphone apps double as miracle cures for cancer.

2. Queens...I knew there was a reason why I avoided that burrow like the plague. It's because there is a plague there.

3. For the ladies (and gay men). Disney Porn. Note...when searching google, keep your filters on. Always. I typed in Alladin...

4.The Gameboy just turned 20 years of age. And I am going out today to buy a walker.

5. Twitter even makes Oprah look like an idiot. 

6.Knowledge and Confidence.

7.Look at This Fucking Hipster. I just brought a cardigan....so I may be on this list soon. 

8. Ummmm, Danity Kane comeback? GOD IS LISTENING to me.

9. Another Kanye video.

10. Jock strap, for vaginas.

Alien vs. Predator.

I adore Michael...but this is funny. Those gnarly slope riders are gonna go nuts dude. (<----did I sound like a snow boarder?)

VIA broccolicity

RIP Golden Girl.

Bea Arthur

1922-2009.

I Want It.

It's a perfect storm. Summer is coming. There is money in my pocket. The creativity is flowing. I may just loose some of my soul to fashion wants and needs this season. I've held off for far too long. Hello old friend.......my addiction. 

I absolutly adore these sneakers. Preppy and funky at the same time. I L-L-L-Love yoooouuuUUUUUU.......I do, I do, I doooOOOOo....

VIA stuffflypeoplelike

Fat Kids Singing, where are your parents?

YouTube is single handily ruing our youth. Ok....I lie, it's like one of 42 things that are ruing our youth. I will tell you the rest later....I promise.

VIA yesbutnobutyes

Who Cares, Britain?

Do you guys know who Susan Boyle is? Well apparently she is the hot sh*t this week. No matter when I tune into the tele news...someone is talking about her. Apparently she is some contestant who wowed the judges on Britains got Talent. She came on stage all fug ug and both the audience the judges (including Simone Cowell) where looking at her like she was a joke. Then she opened her mouth and wowed the audience. The media is treating her like some type of a miracle learning lesson. Just because you are ugly, doesn't mean you completely suck at everything you do...right?

My response, who the f*ck cares? 

Britain's Got Talent? Really? The only thing interesting about this story is that someone gave this stereotypical matronly British cat lady a make over. And by make over, I mean a burberry scarf and a leather jacket. Which means, it's about as interesting as anything they show on TLC (not including John & Kate Plus 8, that show is awesome). This lady is not. 

Once again...who the f*ck cares?

Illegal Logo Love.

This is almost as bad as...this. No wait, it's definitly worse.

No really, why do designers get away with this?

VIA WAS

Not So Good Friday.

This explains alot. 

via oneplusinfinity

Homage to Helvetica.

I love when I use alliteration in my post titles. But what I love more is kicking some arial ass (alliteration again). Apparently arial stole the limelight from Helvetica some years ago, and became a standard font. I don't know about you, but when I do designer things I always see how the type looks in helvetica. But I will also point out that I fell asleep during the helvetica documentary so.... I know....this post is very Art Directory...sorry. But now...Helvetic want some revenge.  

Whats my M*tha F*ckin name!!

Ive been meaning to make this for some time. Though this is a very brief version of who i consider my aunts and uncles of hip-hop and r&b, these are they key people that i feel the closest to.

One half is my hip hop uncles and the other my r&b aunts (said like 'awwnts') and that makes me, L!

Uncle Snoop
i think this all started with him. He calls everyone his nephew and some his uncle, but there is never an aunt or niece. So i call him Uncle therefore I am his niece. Being from California (Californian's never call their state Cali. That's how we can tell if you moved here and/or visting) I love the laid back sound of hiphop. Snoop was probably this first hip-hop artist that i really got into. "One, two, three and to the fo'..." I was hooked.

Im going to try to see him at Lolla this summer. Him in the summer, in chicago-- gonna be so much fun! Also if you never caught wake n bake show, its hilarious and has the best old school you'll ever hear.




---ummmm. im feeling this could be a long blog. so ill just start with him and later tell you bout the rest, one by one.


FOLLOW ME

thats all.


***Beyonce is only an aunt by marriage, of course.

Where (Who) they Are Now.

I'm introducing a new series called Where, Who They Are Now. I think I have done this before calling it blast from the past...but this time it's different. I think. Anyway, It will not be a regular as it takes far too much research and I don't really like writing about gossip, but it will be posted on Throwback Thursdays. And it will  focus on reuniting you with the famous people of your past and dually quench the inner thirst I have for keeping up with nostalgic figures of my past. It's like a talk show when you don't expect to be reunited with that girl you made out with in Cancun 9 months ago, minus the whole "I have herpes, you may want to get checked," and the audience, and a paternity test. It will be fun. I promise. 

Ok....let's get started:

This face is unmistakable. Mr. Eddie Winslow, the good natured adolescence older brother from Family Matters. Since his endearing role as a nerd loving rambunctious teen Eddie has stared in numerous made for BET movies and he was the voice for Jazz in Transformers (???) Most notably however, he was involved in a scandal...well, more like an embarrassment with the likes of a woman whom the Hip Hop Industry calls SupaHead (trade marked). It involved anal beads and Eddie trying to kill her, allegedly. One would think that the star of a show about family values would know better!

Home Improvement "Stars" Tim Allen  and....., reunited recently to win some type of award. Oh wait, Jonathan was not there. Apparently there was some type of family drama. What Are they doing now? Who cares, I have some questions of my own. How do I keep my  youngest son (on TV or off) from growing up all dorky looking like the kid one in from the left? Who is the hottie all the way to the right? And where is that old guy who lived next door? I still want to see his face.

Guess who? You probably know...but as a hint...she use to call her boy friends bud. Now she is busy, puttin it down in the club. Certified banger.

This will be a fun series.

The Gay Rebuttal by the Gay Rain Army.

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

Like I said, gay people will start falling out of the sky.  It was bound to happen. A gay rain army has indeed assembled, and it is made up of C-list celebs (and other unknowns). And it's pretty funny.

VIA 247gay

PS Did you guys see this? Opinions gone wrong. Who let the blond near the mic?

True Blood Season 2.

Trueblood is coming back in June. June, btw is the best month of all. 

 That is all.

Fever.

Throwback Thursday is inspired from Laila's post yesterday. This is how "Fever" should be performed.

hows your day going?

the only reason why you read this blog is here. hahah i kid.

1. this is a great song. i love singing this one.
2. ya know how almost everyones table dancing song is pour some sugar on me? well this i my "pour some sugar on me"

bonus: try laying over the peggy lee vocals over the erotic city music= GREATNESS.

humday 4/22


so you learned 3 things about me. i like to sing, dance on tables (only with appropriate music), and i dj.



thats all.