Condom Ads.

Better than this condom ad right here.

Agency: McCann, Finland

Sleeping Beauty : The Three Lesbians.

Not suitable for work, or children or....anything really. Accept a laugh. I would tell you to get your minds out of the gutter, but then you wouln't be able to enjoy this.


VIA ben-kay

How to Make Love to a Trans Person.

Forget the images you’ve learned to attach
To words like cock and clit,
Chest and breasts.
Break those words open
Like a paramedic cracking ribs
To pump blood through a failing heart.
Push your hands inside.
Get them messy.
Scratch new definitions on the bones.

Get rid of the old words altogether.
Make up new words.
Call it a click or a ditto.
Call it the sound he makes
When you brush your hand against it through his jeans,
When you can hear his heart knocking on the back of his teeth
And every cell in his body is breathing.
Make the arch of her back a language
Name the hollows of each of her vertebrae
When they catch pools of sweat
Like rainwater in a row of paper cups
Align your teeth with this alphabet of her spine
So every word is weighted with the salt of her.

When you peel layers of clothing from his skin
Do not act as though you are changing dressings on a trauma patient
Even though it’s highly likely that you are.
Do not ask if she’s “had the surgery.”
Do not tell him that the needlepoint bruises on his thighs look like they hurt
If you are being offered a body
That has already been laid upon an altar of surgical steel
A sacrifice to whatever gods govern bodies
That come with some assembly required
Whatever you do,
Do not say that the carefully sculpted landscape
Bordered by rocky ridges of scar tissue
Looks almost natural.

If she offers you breastbone
Aching to carve soft fruit from its branches
Though there may be more tissue in the lining of her bra
Than the flesh that rises to meet it, Let her ripen in your hands.
Imagine if she’d lost those swells to cancer,
Diabetes,
A car accident instead of an accident of genetics
Would you think of her as less a woman then?
Then think of her as no less one now.

If he offers you a thumb-sized sprout of muscle
Reaching toward you when you kiss him
Like it wants to go deep enough inside you
To scratch his name on the bottom of your heart
Hold it as if it can-
In your hand, in your mouth
Inside the nest of your pelvic bones.
Though his skin may hardly do more than brush yours,
You will feel him deeper than you think.

Realize that bodies are only a fraction of who we are
They’re just oddly-shaped vessels for hearts
And honestly, they can barely contain us
We strain at their seams with every breath we take
We are all pulse and sweat,
Tissue and nerve ending
We are programmed to grope and fumble until we get it right.
Bodies have been learning each other forever.
It’s what bodies do.
They are grab bags of parts
And half the fun is figuring out
All the different ways we can fit them together;
All the different uses for hipbones and hands,
Tongues and teeth;
All the ways to car-crash our bodies beautiful.
But we could never forget how to use our hearts
Even if we tried.
That’s the important part.
Don’t worry about the bodies.
They’ve got this.

-Gabe Moses

VIA coilhouse

The Wonderful World of Sex.

Line: "The safer you play, the longer you stay."

Check out the rides. They are hysterical. Also not sure if I should tell you this is NSFW. Is illustrated/cartoony porn any less graphic than real porn? Anyway...it's clever all around.

VIA copyranter

Lubricant Ads, from Paris.

Copy: "Try me! Or not...Try intimate lubricant gel"

Go ahead. Just stick it in there. There are other executions that include bones and telescopes. Cause that's how they get down in Paris.

VIA JWT Paris

VIA adsoftheworld

Long Ass Condom Ads.

Here's the insight I have that makes this ad execution a little too hyperbolic for me. Real men, know how much condoms cost. And there for we don't go around wasting them. That sh*t is expensive. Most men (ones that are not rich) dont even bother to crack the seal unless a "We are about to use this expensive ass condom to have sex" contract is signed. Fact.

VIA copyranter

Diesel BJ Knee Pads.

Aha...so Diesel thought it would be funny to offer buyers BJ kneepads with $150 purchase over in India. The good part, is that it isn't that hard to spend $150 in Diesel. The bad part, women don't find BJ jokes all the funny.

But I guess if you are dating someone who spends $30 on a pair of underwear, you proabbaly want to keep him right?

VIA copyranter

Get Paid to touch your Stuff.

VIA thewhoa

Stiffy Drugs, for hard places.

You will be so horny....that everything, EVERY THING will look like a bed. My question is....why not just find a bed?

VIA copyranter

The Linkdown: It is...what it is.

1. So you thought that Zodiac tattoo was a good idea huh?

2. The 11 most "effective" male sex dolls.

3. Crosshairs planted over a map of our country or bullet hole billboards...which one is worse (f*cking idiots)?

4. Authentic Crown of Thorns....on sale now. Act fast (three day sale).

5. This baby knows quality.

6. Gyllenhaal has got himself a metrocard. Gotcha Jakey Poo.

7. Speaking of the NY transit system.... A rat crawling all over a sleeping man on the Subway. You might as well put me down if this happened to me (and someone recorded it, instead of telling me).

8. Dog genocide, looks like Switzerland is taking a page from history. Neutral....huh?

9. Fat-finger Errors. I've already taught my smart phone that "U" means "you." They are like puppies....you just need to teach them.

10. What happens when old technology meets new kids (that are French, no less)?

11. Ricky Gervais...DAMN! He went in on the Stars!

12. Simpsons Porn trailer. Wishes do come true.

The Linkdown:This is a good one.

1. Gods of tennis, play a godly game of tennis. Love-40, Jesus..

2. Happy New Year. So...only America drops a ball, huh? I did not know that.

3. A black president? Youre shitting me.

4. My state us ranker top 3 in Penis size. What say you small penis Wyoming?

5. And then you realize your New Years was subpar.

6. Is your cereal racist?

7. Memo to Brett Farv...you can pay professional for this, dude.

8. So what your saying is, I should choose to have my skin ripped off like a t-shirt.

9. Breast jiggling machine...thank you China.

11. LOST, still effecting people lives.

12. J-Wow on New Years was...WOW.

Irina Shayk for GQ Spain.

The end.

Apparently GQ photoshopped her cloths off. And the problem would be....

VIA huffingtonpost

"Dont Waste your Sperm (on all those koalas)."

I'm guessing there is some type of lack of sperm epidemic in Australia. Because when a sperm donor clinic has to place an ad (an gross ambient at that)....there has to be a dire situation going on.

"A fertility clinic in Australia placed an ad in FHM that caused the magazine's pages to stick together. When unstuck, the pages revealed a woman posing in lingerie...The message being—donate it at the Repromed fertility clinic instead."

I don't want to be that creative that nit picks. But....being a man, I must point out a simple truth. Men don't jerk off into magazines. We are evolved biengs. We use high class apparatuses (apparati?) like....tissues. And....paper towels. And....well, bed sheets. Also, I wish the line was different. "Waste of sperm" is not the incentive to make a dude anonymously donate his sperm. Lack of money is. You'd be surprised what you'll do in college for a quick $300.

cough:: Not that I would know or anything :::cough:::

Agency: Jamshop, Adelaide

VIA adfreak

Dog Dominatrix Antics in Poland.

This is actually for a dog shelter. At Christmas time in Poland, I guess they send their dogs to dominatrix themed kettles over there. Eh....who am I to judge. However...this ad does raise the question "What do you think the 'safe word' is for canine that like a little kink in their lovemaking."

Wait what? Exactly.

VIA copyranter

The Linkdown. I'm a Week Behind...in life.

1. Antismoking ads for soldiers look like this. Cause in sweden soldiers like to have sex. And they also use gun.....

2. Alicia Keys died for a cause. Unfortunatly, no one else did and it failed. Wamp wamp.

3. Unfortunately, history shows that as far as Jets/Pats games go, it's completely the opposite 9-year-old boy.

4. But as a New Yorker, this makes the loss last night not a little less painful.

5. Inception in real-time. My brain breaths a sigh of relief. Now I can move onto Harry Potter.

6. Lebron is in Cleveland.

7. If you thought For Colored Girls was visual torture. But somehow, I love her more....

8. Hair in your food? Send it back, unless its...art.

9. Babies cost a fortune. Use a condom. I'm sold.

10. R.I.P.

The Linkdown.

1. After you take in the picture. Please note that the Situation has made it onto GQs Men of the Year list. This just in.... GQ has lost all credibility....

2. It's 10 am, did your kid get strip searched today? How do you feel about the TSA?

3. "Lick the most elegant way!" Oh word...we just went there.

4. You look DELICIOUS.

5. Drop the word "Little"...and you have Underworld, seasoned in The Village, baked heavily in Twilight with a side of Mean Girls. Red Riding Hood.

6. Let's inspire street racing shall we.

7. It's DENIM CHICKEN.

8. The Haroshi Nike Dunk is sick to death. Wowzerz.

9. Nom Nom Nom......cemetary...Nom, Non, Nom...

Coffin Cuties.

Italian coffin company Confani Funebri sells calenders with women posing with some fine pine burial boxes as inspiration. And they have been doing this for 9 years. So....think about it like this...while you are looking for a "Hang in there Kitty" poster or stealing the free ones from your corner Chinese store.....someone else, is purchasing calenders of grls posing all sexy with coffins.

I would say that you are the better person. But who knows what you do with that kitten calender.

VIA copyranter

The Linkdwon: Conan is Back.

1. Conan kills the ratings in his return to tv last week. Still....I'm a little worried about him. The fact that I willingly looked for TBS on my DVR made me cringe a little.

2. “Barack Obama Type” Incense. Does it make your home smell presidential or like socialism?

3. A snuggie for your Penis. Introducing.... The Tuggie.

4. Out of context Vintage Comics.

5. Puma knows what's up.

6. The FDA has proposed new cigarette warning labels aka the FDA needs to hire a design shop immediately.

7. 17 interesting facts about feet. The 18th...I hate feet. But mine are pretty good.

8. Hiedi wears the loser's dress (I;m currently wearing my "I watch Project Runway and have male parts" button). But guess what? She cut the mutha f*cking sleeves off.

9. Who is the rap game's worste person of the week? Kanye or Kid Cudi? Crazy or High?

10. I swear...I thought the same thing. OK...I was mostly like "Where's the 'E'?" I wasnt smart ::cough:: nuts ::cough:: enough to make the Muslim Connection.

11. STD testing...there's obviously an app for that.

And in the Netherlands (aha) they sell Suits like this.

Good old fashion (aha) sex-ism. Suitsupply allegedly from the Netherlands sells male cloths with the nether-regions (aha) of the opposite sex. Please....send your hate mail to them. I am just the messenger. I will say however, they have some nice outerwear coats.

VIA copyranter

The Linkdown: Halloween Edition.

1. Oprah has a new logo.

2. Creepy Fashion. Just in time for Halloween.

3. Rubber bands that make shapes....for grown ups. Wait, so the dinosaur one i wear on my risk is for whom exactly?

4. The Obamarator. Yes...that just happened to the current President of the United States.

5. You may have thought you were a loser when you lost your job because of face books Farmville. But atleast you arent shaking your baby to death.

6. Not even Jimmy Choo can un-ugly Uggs.

7. The airbag helment.

8. Being a wine prick gets you nowhere. Isn't that right JC?

9. The Black Panther Coloring Book (this is real).