So It's 5am and I am at Lagaurdia Gate B13 or something, and CNN is ranting a raving about these pirates off the coast of Somalia and how they took hostages. Now, I have been hearing about these pirates since last summer and I remember thinking how bizarre the whole story was. In 2009, African pirates are seizing large vessels off of the coast and literally taking ships? Really? And wait...there is no Johhny Depp to make the story even plausibly entertaining? I was confused as to why the pirates where still such a threat...now, months after the breaking story. We still hadn't figured out a way to avoid the row boats or avoid the bows and arrows? And now they took a hostage? I felt like I was watching a recap of an episode of Pirates of Dark Waters. All that was missing was a giant monkey bird and killer oil spills.
And then like lightening striking, we wised up and remembered that it was indeed 2009. We are Americans. We destroy nations. We tax the poor and award the rich. And we have have an apps for every situation known to man (trade marked by Apple). Obama gave the go ahead...and we shot those mofos. And during my plan ride home, at a lay over in Minneapolis, CNN reported that we had indeed sent in some Navy seals, shot the pirates and restored piece and prosperity to the land (seas). We got our hostage and we killed the bad guys. Three days. It took three days to come up with that game plan and execute it. What took so long? They are pirates....in 2009 for Christ sake.
I guess all I am trying to say is, what took America 3 days to figure out. Some people (see below) could've figured out in 2 hours back n the 90's.
....
A Seagal Solution.
Meeting adjourned...Now excuse me as I go look up all I can about the cartoon Pirates of Dark Waters.
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