you really must click the image and make it larger. The question I guess, is how far (and much) is too far (and much)?
Leo Burnett Brazil
Brazil is also know for this lovely gem of T&A. Ogilvy Mathers...
1. I want your baby. Are you having a baby, but dont want it. Please contact Michelle and Gideon (No worries Gideon is not a from a Toni Morrison novel). They just really want to adopt your baby. And this isnt sketchy at all...their attorney's number is right on thier web page. Even call him collect if you want.
Welcome to 2008 baby. Use social networking to get a baby instead of the traditional sperm to egg way. I bet if they had a myspace account...thier issue would be resolved within the hour.
2. Recently, over 1,500 students kitted (?) out in waterproof ponchos discovered exactly what happens when you drop a mint sweet into a bottle of Coca Cola, in an attempt to break a world record. KAAABOOOOOOOM!
3. Getting deported sucks. Its not all fun and games (and a catchy dance move) like the 2003 hit Deport Dem by reggae artist Sean Paul, may suggest. Especially is your gay. Since no one in American really, really supports Gay marriage, it appears that man on man love cannot quit go head to head with immigration. (please note the video at the bottom of the linked page).
What US Immigration doesn't know is....they are messin with an advertising creative, who has decided to run a private ad in the Washington Post. Are your ready to rummmmbllllleeee.
*Please note....the ad really sucks. Looks like it was done in Microsoft Word. But, I guess media, is media right?
4. "Hey, everybody gotta wear cloths, and if you dont, you get arrested"- Mr T
You make a valid point...so now we must listen to learn how to be "Stylin".
5. Ohhh man....my hair idol got arrested. Gary Dourdan of "CSI" was caught by the cops possessing heroin, cocaine, ecstasy and prescription drugs. And kids, that's what we call a drug bust.
The sad part is....how his hair looks in this picture right here to the right...is how mine looks on a good day. And he is still rockin it better than me. Damn it!!!!!! I think I need some colored contacts.
6. I really cant wait to get married.
7. Yester-year celeb sex tapes. Remember some weeks ago when it was discovered that Marilyn Monroe had a sex tape. Well, I didnt report it because well, i didn't find it all that interesting. First, the fact that the supposed BJ occurred decades ago suggests that there was some man holding an old ass camera (probably turning a wheel to make it work)..its probably in black and white or some aweful sepia tone and plus...there is no zoom. Secondly, the thought of thinking about a BJ from a woman who has been dead for years is creepy. But now.... Jimi Hendrix has one. And one can only imagine the crazy sh*t he did. Its the 70s. He is a rock God. Groupie-dom was at its all time high. And lets face it...its probably the most entertaining porn any of us have ever seen in out entire lives.
And that my friends, is reason enough to do a google search when I get home this evening.
P.S. fast forward a decade or two...and Star Wars has a sex scandal...Episode XXX(that's 30, right?).
8. I mean...it was bound to happen. America's Next Top Model inspires an attempted homicide. Word on the street is that Trya is sending out subliminal message (from her huge forehead) to young semi attractive girls across the country...telling them that everyone can be a model, and to kill the competition before they kill you.
9. Dont blame Anne. I would like to state the following thing about the Miley Cyrus scandalous photos...not that it matters. Disney will definitely sink thier claws (or mouse gloves) into it and rectify the situation. But Anne does no wrong. I blame the Cyrus family. or maybe Vanity Fair. I mean...I dont think the pics are racy at all. But being a mouse star is a slippery slope to whoredom/craziness.
Besides...this photo is way more disturbing than any topless teen nude could ever be.
Who takes pictures like this with thier parents? creepy.
10. And most importantly...Halle Berry is back on the scene. And shes is taking the twins everywhere. And Im not talking about babies. HEEEYYYYYOOOOO!
Then I could be in commercials too.
I literally forgot what this commercial was about, after 10 seconds, while writing this entry(blog entry would be the technical term). Maybe its because I haven't had my first morning cup of coffee yet, but I feel like I was just taken on a nonsensical brain roller coaster through ideas and concepts...moving pictures with words that in no way logically connected with each other.
Oh modern humor. Either I'm a little nauseous or I need a shot of expresso. I'll go with the later.
BRBACC. (be right back after coffee consumption).
UPDATE: Nope, Ive had a small country worth of coffee, and I still dont get it.
Reporter: "But did you know you know that you could perhaps kill somebody?."
7 year old Latatian: "Yes, but I wanted to do hood rat stuff with my friend."
There is alot to say here....but I'll sum it all up in one question....why is 7yr old Latarian able to stand for that interview?
I have officially accepted my future in HR after attending my "boss's'" birthday party. Her crib was sick. I mean...really impressive. And if it only takes me...lets see, Im 23....17 more years to get to the top of the HR game. I think I am willing to submit the time and effort. After I kill myself. Twice.
Anyone looking for a good looking, fairly accurate, slightly bombastic AD? Email me.
Anyway, Saturday turned into a bit of a blur. Started drinking around 4pm. There was pulled pork involved. Mmmm. A drinking board game called Manland and then we ended up at what I call a gay night club. Yes. I said it. There was a group of 5 (2 girls) and a guest from out of town, and we end up at a gay club. btw Looked nothing like the picture above.
Now...everyone I was with said it wasn't a gay bar. And I admit, the upstairs was pretty straight. But, the basement...was totally gay. My roommate, who has apparently been to gay bars said that we were not at one. I asked some girls outside the bar, and after they insinuated that I was gay (which is completely my fault so I let it slide)...there response was "NO, gays clubs are fun....and that wasn't no fun."
excusing the double negative....wat do you think:
- heavy techno music in the basement
- a bunch of men grinding all up on each other
- gay friendly urinal reading material
-the club had some really obscure name...like Despair or
-the bathroom attendant was a black man with a perm
-everyone was kind of ignoring us (Ive been told that this is possible hetero phobia)
- terms used...."grl....." and "ok, do it...." I really was hoping someone used the term fierce.
all the ingrediants for Queer as Folk and Will and Grace (minus Grace) mixed up into one, right? Or no....
I need an analysis. Cause Im all confused and stuff. You know...its ok if it was gay....it would've popped the square hetero bubble Im living in...but everyone keeps telling me lies. There must be an answer out there. Isnt there a set way/place/thing that defines a gay club?
Like....men dancing with other men? Per se.........
Belvedere is not just a preppy vodka, its an unorthodox underground movement.....,
or just some strange obscure commercial.
well, whatever the case... you'll at least get a blow job if you buy it, according to this print ad. Oh...also buy some capri. Or capri 2 . Or Absolute. Or Frogoli. Damn....apparently all liquors get you some. But I wouldn't mess with Frogoli...teeth are deadly.
But yeah...sex sells Alcohol. Fact. I was pounding some Grey Goose (don't ask, you know I'm too poor to buy it) last weekend...and I got a BJ. Wait...just kidding. I did get real drunk though.
Now for a treat. The real Mr Belveder.
VIA Animal NY
According to the article, "studies" have indicated that this move should encourage approximately 6% of the state's smokers to quite....and discourage high schoolers.
This upsets me.
I dont think its right for the government to add obscene taxes to the things that they deem unhealthy. Im pretty sure this is America. And this tax, like everything else will only have a resounding effect on the poor people of the city. While the upper class can continue to go on buying cigarettes at the upward of $15 a pack while they sip their aged Brandy... the poor single mother if forced to make a decision between grocery shopping or a pack of cigarettes.
If you want to argue smoking as being "a choice," I cant argue there...but please, you must then put a tax on everything unhealthy. Fast Food. Watching excessive amount of TV. Not exercising. Working the wood too much (lol, sorry...inappropriate).
The word I'm looking for is extortion. And all over some made up numbers and "studies". To think that price is what is going to hold a high school student back from smoking, is about as ignorant as thinking they wont have sex if condoms are too expensive.
And I'm not even that avid of a smoker, I just think this is a bit of an injustice. Being punished for enjoying a simple pleasure. Its like we are children...
Its prohabition all over again. And we all know how that turned out. Ugly women and sobriety. Not a good look.
Its true, its true...transvestite men have a deceptively low tolerance for pain. So they need that machine thing from philips...as oppose to a simple razor. At first I thought this was a commercial for pain, then I thought it was an expose for tranvestites like on A&E or something, then I thought it was the next Dove spot, but then it ended with a hair removal devise, that is less "painful" than the razor I used on my face this morning.
Is it me...or did they miss the mark? Straight men probably dont want to associate themselves with the tranny down the street. Im just saying.
UPDATE: Its British...which explains everything. ::sigh of relief::
The answere....alot. So when you are tryin to write a blog that keeps track of movies and what not....hold off on the good stuff, and try not too blow your load to early. Here are 4 more Batman Posters.
I was trying really hard not to go into the viral marketing that this movie had put forth. There is a whole Harvey Dent - fake politician thing happening. There are vans that go around Manhattan setting up fake tables of support and stuff. There is also a website. I didnt want to get too tied up in it...cause it had the vague essence of Cloverfield.
But this viral site cannot be ignored. When you get in the site, expect some defaced presidential portraits, when you click them... city-specific countdown clocks appear. They are all different. BUZZZZZZZ! Chicago only has 1hr and 42 minutes...until "something happens." I can just feel the excitment....a.k.a passing this over to you, the responsible reader.
I will forget about this entire post in 10 minutes.
Excessive perfume use: “If I can smell your perfume and we’re not making out, you’re wearing too much. More of a lot of things in life is better. Perfume does not apply.”
Big diamonds: “Women who wear big blingin’ stones don’t look like they have a lot of money; they look like they have a lot of someone else’s money. I don’t want my woman looking like she got bedazzled.”
Pantsuits: “I like seeing a female body as much as the next guy, but a midriff on display does not do it for me. By the same token, sexlessness is just that. I call it the Hillary Clinton Look. She would be so much more appealing if she just took off the pantsuit, took a lesson from Jackie Kennedy, and found her own Oleg Cassini.”
So you may not be a big fan of polygamy. Or maybe your not into the whole underage girls being married off to 60 yr old skeeze bags. But you must admit....these Mormons sure can put together an out fit.
I have stumbled upon the official Sex and the City the Movie theme song. With a small resemblance to the tv show theme, Fergie delivers yet another shallow rendition of a song colored with count downs (1,2,3) , talking bits and repetition.
Now onto a weekend filled with manly things....like wrestling bears and providing for my family. Me man. Me make fire.
Real World 20- Hollywood: I know that technically, I may be a little too old to still be watching this show, but the casting this season is so on the money, that you would be doing yourself a great disservice not to at least set your DVR to record this show, and watch it at your conveninece. I think since Real World Key West, the show has kinda been on a decline. Producers were trying too hard to cast people for the sake of drama, and everyone knows that the best drama produces itself. This season...has the potential to be genius. Real World is back. They decided to take a side step to current gays in tv trend (gotta have a gay person in our show, it the in thing to do) and instead opted to put 2 black guys in the house (one to many if you ask me). One of them was apparently voted into the house by online fans...he refers to people as "peasants" and walks around the house in a full robe and pajama set. Very classy. We are only two episodes in and the southern belle (who reminds me alot of my Texan roommate's friends) has already called the black-like girl "ghetto" and will go down in history, in my book for saying that said "ghetto" girl was from BLACK-ville. Remember when you were on national TV being a ignorant/racist? Oh, btw.....the black-like "ghetto" girl is....a stripper in real life. Oh....and my favorite....Joey from the Chi. He has some serious emotional issues....deep, deep inside. He is an angry drunk and a cryer. Please, please, please look at this clip below. Im telling you...Joey is the star player this season. This is going to be a good f*ckin season. I'm in love already.
So apparently filing your taxes is a BIG THING. Like 3 years in prison, a big thing. Wesley apparently hasn't filed his taxes since....errrr 1998. And it has finally caught up to him. Yesterday he received a 3 year sentence, even after cutting the IRS a check for 5 mill on the spot.
"There is no secret formula that eliminates a person's tax obligations, nor are there any special exceptions," said the IRS spokes machine. "The majority of Americans pay their taxes timely and accurately. Those who willfully violate the law must be held accountable."
Ok IRS. Here is the deal. I understand the situation, But apparently, you are not fully aware of what Mr Snipes has done for America in the mean time. He has literally saved the world with his bare hands, has at least on three accounts (dont know what her does with his spare time) brought down demon night creatures with his Blade of fury and bloody vengeance, and most of all...he looks fierce in a heel.
*ummmmmmm, I use to love this movie as a kid. That's our little secret. 1995.
The best part about this is that Snipes' celebrity friends are really supporting him. Actors Denzel Washington,Woody Harrelson, television judges Joe Brown and Greg Mathis. They all have his back. Almighty Dnezel said, " he (Snipes) is like a tree -- a mighty oak ... Many who know him have witnessed the fruit of his labors, have sat in his shade and even been protected by his presence. I am proud of him, proud to call him a fellow thespian and most importantly, proud to call him a friend."
Lol...what? Ok Denzel. Are you sure your not dipping into the kool aid.
I really do hate Kanye...but he is a talent, and he makes interesting videos.
*please note...do not start "working the pole" to pay for school. Its a sure way to a set profession.
unfortunately there will probably be little to no blogging today (try not to cry in public), but the good news is....I do have alot to talk about....from the new Real World to the cosmos beyond.
Whereas last year, take your son and daughter to work day was more like , "drop your kid off with the temp, Shaun day." This year promises to be a triumphant "Shaun you've been in the exact same place doing the exact same crappy thing" day.
That's a year folks....count it up. And what better way to celebrate than to watch a bunch of rich kids?!?
Good song...I wouldnt have picked it for a video. There are tons of better songs on the album. Like the one they played during the break...makes you do the thinking man and just start boppin.
Still, I do like school daze.
What would a ridiculous contraption be, without some ridiculous quotes to go with it?
"These 'modern shaped trousers which are often worn by youngsters..' are the perfect solution for Googling quick exits while running from the fashion police."
"Built into the knees are a pair of crotch rocking speakers, around the back you have the added convenience of a back pocket for your "mouse", and for you gamers, there is a joystick controller located just behind the front zipper."
Avoiding the joystick penis joke completely (because I'm "mature")...I don't think I have ever seen an item that allows a stranger to point out nerdiness so vividly and completely. Pocket protectors....fanny packs....glasses (NEEEERRRDDD alert) all, are subpar. Let me see someone on the street with these. They'll probably be busy hacking into the pentagon useing code or playing Dungeons and dragons or something.
I'll be forced to give them a wedgie.
Helium balloons. A Catholic priest. Brazil. And bright ideas. What do they all have in common?
I swear I come up with ideas like this all the time. I mean, they usually occur somewhere between my 5th and 8th glass of Shiraz on a Friday night as Im scarfing down cheese puffs and watching reruns of Family Matters...but let it be known, that there was no Divine inspiration involved in this holy mishap.
"The Rev Adelir Antonio de Carli lifted off from the port city of Paranagua on Sunday afternoon, wearing a helmet, thermal suit and a parachute.
The smiling 41-year-old priest was strapped to a seat attached to a huge column green, red, white and yellow balloons, and soared into the air to the cheers of a crowd.
He was reported missing about eight hours later after losing contact with port authority officials."
The best part of this story is that they still havn't found him. GPS and all. And this was all done to raise money for an orphanage or something. Apparently, having a bake sale wasnt enough?
His first mistake was trying this little venture out in Brazil. Of all places, Brazil would be the last on my list for anything, but a Brazilian bikkini wax. Oh, and Brazilian pants. Also, this whole thing sort of reminds me of the episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark with the clown's nose ("The Tale of Laughing in the Dark"). I don't know why?
Well, here are my theories on what happened to Rev Antonio:
1. Alien Abduction (obviously)
2. God Abduction...God literally plucked him out of the sky.
3. He is trapped on a deserted island that doesn't really exist, and there are polar bears on it, and a smoke monster...and the rest of the cast of LOST. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if this all wasn't a elaborate hoax from abc for the show return this Thursday or....JJ Abrams (the mind manipulator).