USA, never looked so good to me.

Once again...with my eclectic roommate, I watched the Ms USA bikini contest...I mean beauty competition. After inquiring the difference in titles. USA, America, Universe I was ensured that this was the contest for hot girls, not future world leaders...and I immediately did a butt shimmy to ensure complete couch comfort and...for other personal reasons.........

I admit, I only tuned in after the top 15. But guess what? I knew one of the top 15. Ms Massachusetts. I had a roommate that was dating this cute little girl in college, and her best friends was this banger...Jackie Bruno. Apartment convos often went as follows Alex (roommate): "Im going out with _____ tonight to some bar up the street, wanna come?" As 3 black roommates who already knew the travesties of Boston boring situations, we looked on in disgust waiting for MTV reruns to reappear. Alex: "Jackie Bruno is going to be there." 3 black roommates all at once: "Give me 5 minutes."

The sad part is that no one really talked to her. She was the hottest girl in the bar (according to some standards). And clearly you didn't have a chance unless you were a professional BU sports star. Anyway this is Jackie Bruno. The thing is, though hot in average situations...she never really had a chance among the hypothetical..."most beautiful girls in the US." I face book messaged her soon after she was eliminated. And...well, that made me feel kinda famous.

But lets get to the meat and potatoe (penis joke) of this blog. Crystal Stewart. I think she is hot (especially in that stalkerish highschool pic I found of her). But she has been picking up alot of slack for being old (26) and unattractive. My roommate Kelly was not a fan. But I think she is a keen mix between Gabriel Union and...well, some light skinned girl I have yet to meet. I mean, she does have strong features, but that is completely normal for black girls. She would be cleaning up if she was at an all black college in the south. She'd be an AKA. And live across the hall from me in my dorm. And then we would get married. And have beautiful light skinned children. Wait....that's right, I went to BU. Single for the rest of my life.

Did I mention...she is smokin in a bikini! Smokin!

Meet Crystal Stewart (one of 4 1/2 black Ms USA winners ever).

P.S. Remember that time when I knew more than 2 black people in the same area as me? Ohhhh...yester year. Diversity is ramped in the midwest.