sexy fruit ads.

I don't speak the language...but I assume these ads (coupons...*puke in mouth*) are for the new food chain, Trader Hoes.

ba-dum-ching....I'm here all night. 

VIA blogofhilarity

"This wasn't any different than going on a date with someone you barely knew and hooking up with them..the only difference is I can pay my rent."

- Ashley Dupri in an interview with People

I respect her gangster. Keep riding that pros popularity wave gal.

Virginity for Sale.

Meet Natalie Dylan. She is the person of the day (nay, person of the month). Natalie recently went on the Howard Stern show and said that she's been forced to sell her virginity, because her stepfather took out a student loan in her name, and she's unable to finance her education. 

*crickets*

She said, "I don't have a moral dilemma with it. Why shouldn't I be allowed to capitalize on my virginity? I understand some people may condemn me. But I think this is empowering. I'm using what I have to better myself."

So, that's crazy right? Only in America can you sell your cherry and claim that it's for educational purposes. Sally May can make a girl do that type of sh*t. It's really creepy. But do you know what's creepier...? this clip of Natelie meeting a bidder on the Tyra show. The bidder's name is Lee and he is offering $1 million. If he is the highest bidder...he wins. And if this clip doesn't make you cringe, you lose...at being human.

"I want her, I want her virginity."

I can't even think of anything witty to say here. I'm both confused and scared. Kudos to Tyrannosaurus Banks for keepin in gangsta on both of them. I may have to file this under "too real" as well. Feminism at it's finest? Double Standards? Lazy whore? Or a byproduct of American culture? 

And some people think that we really don't need to tax the rich more (they are literally buying virginity)? Aren't we in a recession?

what men dont want to hear.

"I’ve had sex in all 50 states. A lot of it was on a road trip I took when I was younger," she said.  

The best sex being in Arizona and Colorado. 

"Maybe it was the clear air, or the quiet, or the endless sky... whatever it was, it was really, really good.”

And the worst... Alaska. 

“I’d really like a do-over on that state."

-Eva Mendes

Sluttiness aside, this has to have something to do with Sarah Palin. Come on! Am I right? Huh? Oh, and I dare someone to try to justify this statment. I dare you.

VIA DLISTED

megan fox is my hero.

"I don’t understand why they’re [her picture with David Silver] so scandalous. When they first came out, it was like, Megan Fox was giving Brian a blow job in pub—I mean, uh—a hand job in public. First: Who gives hand jobs? Who’s given a hand job since seventh grade? Not me..." 

-Megan Fox, in a recent interview with 

GQ Magazine about this picture.

Awesome. And true. There is a cut off point.

VIA DLISTED...she also told Disney to go f*ck themselves.

greased vietnamese stages.

Yeah. You saw right...the Vietnamese have just declared war. They super waxed the floors that Ms America (Crystal Stewart) walked on to ensure her loss at this years Ms Universe contest. And she fell. They knew how super hot she was and were threatened.

Clearly we are fighting the wrong country.
Im just saying.

UPDATE: Ms Venezuela is a post op tranny...to be confirmed in the future. (Wow, I spelled Venezuela right without spell check. Kudos to me.) 

the wutang.

its stuff like this that makes me wish that we lived in a better world.

As soon as that little girl did a split to the ground I knew in that moment that she had no future. See what dancing has the power to do?

What do we think about a danceocide? Suggestions? Comments? Concerns?

strawberry hoebag.

So I heard through the grape fine a few years back about the up-to-date make overs that some of our childhood best friends were going to get. Vintage cartoon celebrities like Strawberry Shortcake, Bugs Bunny, Scooby-Doo, and even Mickey Mouse are getting put through Stacey and Clinton's What Not To Wear on TLC to appeal to the newer/younger generations. Now this is a scary thing for a few people (...me). Because, frankly my life and mental stability revolve around these classics from my past. As a only child, they were like my family when I grew up. Literally (and sadly I guess).

Dont we remember the reintroduction of Ken's 1993 alter ego, Earring Magic Ken. he immediately got pegged as gay. Granted, the purple leather vest, gold chain and earring may have had something to do with it. But the point here is that this reinvention thing, never really works out for the best.

So....here is newly released Strawberry Shortcake. There should be a unanimous gasp from the lips of every girl born in the early 80's.

Now, I have a step sister, so I've seen my fair share of Strawberry Shortcake cartoons. There may or may not even be a picture floating around somewhere of me as a young child holding the doll (it wasn't mine, I swear). I don't remember exactly what she did on the show, but what I do remember is that she wasn't a preteen slut bag. What exactly have they done? They have straightened her hair...cause real beauty is defined by how straight your hair is. She is clearly wearing contacts...because lord forbid she have brown eyes. Se has lost weight...anorexia promotion at its finest. And the hoe is now wearing make-up. Translation...working the corners. Accoridng to the company, she now eats fruit instead of gumdrops and and instead of sporting that damn cat, she will have a cell phone. Does anyone else feel that? Its the world spinning out of control.

What happen to the times when cartoon were just cartoons? Now they are plagued with hidden messages and stereotypes. "Be perfect like me," says Strawberry Shortcake now. The old one would've said, "F8ck this shit, I want a gumdrop...I had a tough day." Imagine what they will do to the rest of our cartoon past.

I am sad. I post this video in homage to the decline of America.


Sadness.

side hustle.

you cant say that this blog is not gender friendly. Here....some tips, to make...well, extra tips. 

*please note...do not start "working the pole"  to pay for school. Its a sure way to a set profession.

Love,

Shaun 

zombie stripper.

This is real. And vaguely intriguing.




Jenna Jameson on the "jump into mainstream." Ummmmm, you mean non porn movies?


Ill give it to her...she IS well spoken. And she also sucks a mean c*ck. I had to work a porn joke in. Had to.
"Obviosly theres alot of T&A."
LOL, Pretty sure the View watchers arent abreast on that terminology, Jenna.

kick him while he is down.

Spitzer, Spitzer, Spitzer. It is my belief that he is being offered up as a sacrificial lamb. I personally think that there are not only other high rollers in office doing the same thing, but there are way worse happenings out there.

But hey, now that it is out there...

Apparently the NY times is publishing a story in which they are commissioning 10 artist to express their feelings and such. There are some Ogilvy creatives involved...as you can see to your right.

Slander is always simply divine. What else can we do to this man? We could also look up the prostitute and offer her a million dollars for details. Prostitution has always been a one way street.

PS: If you click that last link....you can clearly see that the pros had a facebook profile. Or myspace. Talk about social networking! (cue Leno drum end of joke drum roll).