dolls.

1. So, the dream boat pot head, Jason Castro apparently f*cked up big time last night on America Idol. He forgot some words, not that I saw it...or watch the entire youtube clip. I did happen to catch the little Mormon Archuletta's Elvis impersonation (Hells Kitchen was on next) and it brought tears to my eyes. When I was done cutting onions, I immediately changed the channel as to avoid loosing the rest of my soul. Anyway, we will probably be saying bye bye to the Texan hippie (my roommate knows him). But luckily, if you truly miss his non caring attitude and flowing locks, you can get your self a Jason Castro doll (to your left). Unfortunately, Mattle messed up and gave him the Fidel voice box. Massive recall as tons of southern girly teens are sentenced to life imprisonment and excommunication. Kellen, I know you want one.


2. Paris Hilton. She makes really good decisions. She's an upstanding
citizen and an American hero. All good reasons to allow her to have a doll that influences the kids. This doll is complete with a bag of cocaine, a slutty tube top and a lethal injection shot. So, when your daughter is having tea time she can do a line with friends, make a bad decision (i.e. DUI, punanny flash, sex tape) and then kill herself when she realizes that she isn't rich enough to get out of trouble. Yep, throw barbie out. Paris is every girls dream. Luckily the doll also doubles as a dildo for those lonely nights. But much like the old hidden adult Disney messages, only parents know about that.
True Story.


3. So, imagine that your grandfather just passed away. Or better yet, your sibling. He/she was apparently living a dark/wild side and you know...ended up one day dead in a NY hotel room surrounded by a bottle of pills. Now, add in the fact that they may/ or may not have just finished filming the new Batman movie which "allegedly" was the reason for their death. As some back up info, say they also had leading roles in past films portraying them as a charming Knight and a slacker Teenager looking for unconventional love. Now imagine...after their death...someone decided to sell action figure toys of your dead grandfather or sibling. How would you feel? Well, luckily we can just ask Heath Ledger's family. As the new Heath Ledger Jokers action figure not only recently hit the stores, but are sold out across the nation. One could ask why you would want a dead man's action figure? But lets not turn this blog into a moral kiosk. I personally, am looking for some MLK, Yao Ming (sp?) action figures. So they can have a galactic battle in a bowling alley. Oh wait....Yoa Ming isnt dead yet? Give it time.


-FIN