Though honestly, he is probably in some advanced class graduating with honors. Meet Edward Smith. He loves cars. I mean...he really, really loves cars. Like, he prefers them to people...men and women alike.
"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said. AKA, he f*cks them. He has had sex with about 1000 cars. And even a helicopter (lucky night, Im sure). In his defense he stated, "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."
Does anyone ever notice how all the really good persons of the day come from the UK. I mean yeah, sure we have psychopaths and serial killer (i use to think as a kid, they we Cereal killers, people who killed while eating cereal-serious mental problem). But the sexual deviants (the ones that admit it to the news) are always abroad. Mechaphilia? That's good.
Edward is pictured above with his main squeeze, Vanilla, a 1969 VW Beetle (like Crispins). You might think this is the best quote from the entire article, "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving."
But you'd be wrong. This takes the cake...."There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them."
Adorable or stalkerish? I mean...just think if it were a human. That's called a stalker, no?
UPDATE: There's a video. "Look at those tail pipes...it's the car's anus...grease it up a little and its sensational."
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