irish ads in boston.

Or maybe its because you get me f*cked up.

the step boy bands.

There was NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys. Successes in their own right. Hit after hit after hit. They made those tweens throw their fruit of the loom panties up on the stage as soon as they opened their mouths. I may or may not own an album from one of said groupies. Well Throwback Thursday is not here to remember them this day. Today we bring you the bands that didn't make it.

98 degrees. With hits like Its the Hardest Thing and I Do its no wonder why these guys had their hot streak. But at some point, something fell off about them. They lost momentum. I mean...there are 4 of them, Ive only seen 2 in the past decade. Are the other 2 dead? Whatever the case, Ive figured out why they didnt make it. Theire utter demise can be blamed on their uni-hair color. Everyone knows you need a blond to make the group really work. Duh.

Ummmmm, O-town. Come one people. These guys had what it took for utter fame and fortune. The video below changed my life. Not so much for the follow up....Liquid Dream.  But you cant give them all winners? What about We Fit Together? TRL anyone? Anyone?

 

Thats all I have....do you guys have any more? My mind escapes me. 

finally, beating the man.

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obama nuts to be cut.

Im no genius. I am not a public speaker that circuits media outlets. I probably couldn't ever do what politicians and cultural "leaders" do (out of pure laziness). But I do know that perhaps whispering disparaging remarks about someone should maybe NOT be done on set. Below is Obama supporter Jesse Jackson talkin sh*t on a hot mic (i.e. he didnt know the mic was on). Whoopsi!



When are black people going to realize that "being black" doesnt mean sharing the same beliefs? This is juvenile.

This also leads me to believe (due to recent events) that there is a black market of sorts for these on screen mishaps. And apparently newscasters and guests alike are use to "just talkin sh*t" when the screens and mics aren't on. And its been going on for years. Of course fox news would release this...

Apologies here.

accessories = music.

Ray Ban has got some new print ads out according to copyranter. He slights them for merely replacing circles with the sun glass shape. I think they are cool. But then again they are a "art directors dream." And I just happen to be one.

But to his point, creative doesn't always have to be cerebral and all up in your emotions. These are quick and simple and easy to remember. Are they on target? That's debatable. As is, there is no real connection between music and eye wear. The line(-like) "Never Hide" kinda says something. Maybe music and Ray Ban shades are both _______ . 

I dunno...you tell me. It sounds like a copywriters problem to me.

Here's some more. Im really feelin the skull one. If it were a graphic tee...i'd rock it. And I kinda despise graphic tees. 

the wutang.

its stuff like this that makes me wish that we lived in a better world.

As soon as that little girl did a split to the ground I knew in that moment that she had no future. See what dancing has the power to do?

What do we think about a danceocide? Suggestions? Comments? Concerns?

drop the mic.

If you didnt die laughing at the picture alone...the following will alteast have you crumpled over to the floor gasping for air...atleast. Make sure you are by your phone for easy access you EMT (no area code needed on cellphones-duh!). Remember that sex tape that came out of Vern the midget from the Austin Powers movies...well here is what that self respecting girl has to say about his "love making" abilities....

On sex in general with a midget:
"So I'd lie on the bed and Verne would crawl up my legs to have sex with me. And as he did it his feet would be tickling my knees! It wasn't quite as passionate as sex with a normal-sized man but he did his best. He didn't wear a condom. There was no point, they're all too big. On the whole though, he wasn't short of sexy skills and tried his hardest to make up in technique what he lacked in size."

On their first time and the Mini-Me's magical rebound skills:
"I had no complaints. But the whole thing was over in three minutes. It was strange having sex with someone who couldn't reach to kiss me at the same time, except for my tummy that is! I was so relieved it was over. But minutes later Verne was ready to go again. That night we made love three times in 20 minutes, which most bigger men only dream about doing."

On why midget's prefer sex on dry land:
"I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub," she said. "Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in. But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn't see him."

Remember that scene in Coming to America where that performer drops the mic? Yes, that is exactly what I just did after copying and pasting that story. And now I will talk away....no further commentary needed . (she almost drowned him in the tub, holy f*ckin hysterical balls). 

UPDATE: It has come to my attention that you may not know what I mean. This is the scene  I am referring to. 

absolutely a bad spokesperson.

OK, so I originally saw this spot featuring the all mighty Kanye at a bar. It was on mute. And I pointed at it and heckled it from afar. I told my drinking partner that Kanye was "so f*ckin stupid" and that "he was trying to have an all wacked out spot like in crazy japan."

As it turns out its just a viral  campaign- which confuses me, because I originally saw it on espn...but whatever. You are suppose to go to bekanyenow.com (which I still haven't done). Its for Absolute vodka. Because in an absolute world we would all be cocky ass holes with too much money.

VIA Radar

In there article they try to talk sh*t on absolute vodka. An old teacher of mine taught me a long time ago that you cannot tell the difference in vodkas. Chill them..and they all taste the same. FACT/LIFE LESSON.

Your welcome. 

snuff ads

Duncan Quinn makes suits. Mens Suits. That's clothing right? Well explain this Duncan.

One could conclude that you use fashion as a front for say... a website of death. You have an encrypted url that only goes out to the richest of richest where they watch and perhaps even make tortuous suggestions about a scantly clad woman's life. And then at the end of the entire ordeal...you mail them an silk ascot perhaps-free of charge.

Someone could think that. However, I just think you are an idiot that got duped into making an offensive and stupid print ad.

So sorry. You tried to push the envelope, but instead...you pooped on it ended up setting that sh*t aflame.

hate, is a strong word.

As if we wouldnt get hold of this. 

good ad.

simply put. this is well done.

6-4, 6-4, 6-7 (5-7), 6-7 (8-10), 9-7.

As you are probably well aware...Wimbledon is done. And I know I am a day late, but I have been really busy. But as someone famous once said, better late than never. 

The Matches.

The Williams Sister: Venus triumphed over her little sister on Saturday morning. What started off as an entertaining match quickly shifted into a ass whoppin on international tv. Serena was pounced upon. And did anyone notice how Serena didn't crack a smile during the awards ceremony. She was genuinely pissed. It probably felt a little bit like the matches she played as a kid when her sister use to win. But this time it costed her money and reputation. I wish I coulda been there to tell her the pep the f*ck up. They are related...she'll see that money in the long run. Trust. BTW. You know Im related to them right. 

Nadal vs. Roger: One thing that kept pissing me off during the entire match was how everyone (except John McEnroe) kept referring to Nadal as Rafa. Like they knew him personally or something.  But anyway...this was an epic f*ckin match (6-4, 6-4, 6-7 (5-7), 6-7 (8-10), 9-7). It was like something from the early 60s. I mean...I watched in the morning and then went to church (there was some serious debate b4 hand) and then returned to see the rest of the match. Thank god rain for delay. But honestly- Federer was out played. He had one to many slumps during his games....no consistency, and Nadal took advantage of it. That kid is a monster. And he is quickly patching up all the holes in his game. His serve has really pumped up. And in the end, the Spaniard won. And I aint mad at him. 

PS Doesnt Venus look a hot mess in the photo above?

hello good looking.

Before I actually got a job in advertising I  always half jokingly said that I shouldve been a doctor. Not that it would be any less work- ok may a little less work making ads and not having to save peoples lives -(and lets not forget the doctor debt I dodged). But let's face it. Doctors and Lawyers have a path. You go to school. Then you take an test to go to another school. Then you take another test to have a confirmed career. The key words being CONFIRMED CAREER.

But after I got a taste of the medical manikins they use to teach doctors now a days...I will never wish to be a doctor again. Everyone knows that all patients worth saving are attractive. These "teaching devices" make me nauseous. The interchangeable parts....the double penis attachment...the man boobs...its too much. 

Note: These manikins are not to be confused with the mannequins used in store displays and for test dummies. 

This is clear.

concern.

What do you do if you have spent a majority of your life saying that the clothing store Old Navy is for fat people, but then you happen to try on a pair of pants and they are ad bit too tight?

Life dilemma. 

Action must be taken.

hey, that bullet curves.

I had another fun filled roommate Sunday. This time she treated me to Angelina's new flick,  Wanted. That's right...I didnt have to beg or plead she literally said, "Whats that new movie with that Jolie girl?" I told her honestly what to expect. Guns. Assassinations. Blood. And more guns. And she was down for the cause. So we saw it. There may or may not be spoilers in the paragraphs to follow. I will try my hardest but I really cant promise you anything.

So, in a theater filled of teenagers (not old hags...this time), I sat with my mother watching the oh so hot Angelina Jolie put bullets through people's heads. Other cast members: Morgan Freeman, James McAvoy (who is apparently a big deal with the ladies...but after my imdb research, I consider all those ladies to be retarded), and Common who kept his time honored tradition of having more screen time than actual lines. 

So the plot is as follows....there's a group of assassins who call themselves the fraternity.  They are like really good at what they do and they end up recruiting Wesley (James McAvoy) the son of an already awesome (the best)  fraternity member who was recently killed. They find and fight his murderer who happens to be a rogue fraternity member and also now, the new best assasin. So that's pretty straight forward right? Everything is fine and dandy until they start trying to justify the fraternity's little habit of killing people for a living. They apparently get their targets from a higher power, they refer to as fate. But get this, fate reveals itself threw a threading machine....

Wait for it....

Right. So there is an all heavenly threading deity that weaves out 

the good and bad people of chicago into a little sudoku puzzle code for these assassins to target. Its is actually as silly as it sounds. And on top of that, these assassins are very very special people. Im talking bullet curving, slowing down time, flipping cars type of special people. So....unless you can do that, you cant get in. But needless to say because of these abilities there are some very cool action scenes that may or may not have borrowed the special effect from the Matrix Trilogy. And there is a twist. Like one of those twist that your best friend always mentions 20 minutes into the movie and you brush it off until it actually happens.And he's all like "i told you...i should write movie"  Unfortunately, it is not until this twist occurs that this movie actually does become interesting. And you can take that for what its worth.

Its short comings:

-it may just be me (and my current state of just leaving chicago-which apparently will plague me for the entire movie summer- yes I was riddling off street names as they came on the screen and "L" train stops and could even recognize an ATM on the corner of a street whose bar i frequented), but any self respecting Chicagoan if paying attention, can see the holes in the plot regarding locations. Its pretty clear that Wesley lives in Wriglyville. But in the first action sequence he is shopping at a grocery store downtown. Followed by a car chase in the loop. Within 5 minutes...he hits up 3 completely separate areas of Chicago that are miles apart. No one who lives in Wriglyville would go grocery shopping down town and then drag there food on the red line back uptown 40 minutes away. Oh chicago...i miss you. Oh, and apparently the loop is a great assassination accessory.

-they over did it with the foreshadowing. Trust me, I get it...these assassins can make a bullet curve. You dont have to show me the trick 55 different times. Damn...I wish I had counted how many times that happened. CGI is amazing and slow motion exists. I get it. 

- no worries....because i was at the movies with my mom, there was a sex scene, just like usual.Nice and uncomfortable, as usual. This isnt really a short coming,, more of "phew, im glad the universe is still working."

Cool Parts:

- Angelina is hot.

-Angelina is hot.

-Angelina is hot. Oh and someone does get smacked in the face with a keyboard which is pretty funny.

All in all. Ok flick. I would wait for the HBO showing. If I saw it on that channel, I would feel like I accomplished something. But if you want to get your mom to take you for free...I would totally recommend this movie. 

BTW: After the movie my mom says to me, "That Angelina Jolie is such a wild one, Brad pitt shouldve stayed with that Jen girl."

...just 5 years, 3 international babies stolen and 2 bundles in the microwave oven too late mom. I also told her that she should watch her tongue, because if the movie was any indication to how Angelina obviously must be in real life, she (my mom) could catch a curved bullet to the head.