I had another fun filled roommate Sunday. This time she treated me to Angelina's new flick, Wanted. That's right...I didnt have to beg or plead she literally said, "Whats that new movie with that Jolie girl?" I told her honestly what to expect. Guns. Assassinations. Blood. And more guns. And she was down for the cause. So we saw it. There may or may not be spoilers in the paragraphs to follow. I will try my hardest but I really cant promise you anything.
So, in a theater filled of teenagers (not old hags...this time), I sat with my mother watching the oh so hot Angelina Jolie put bullets through people's heads. Other cast members: Morgan Freeman, James McAvoy (who is apparently a big deal with the ladies...but after my imdb research, I consider all those ladies to be retarded), and Common who kept his time honored tradition of having more screen time than actual lines.
So the plot is as follows....there's a group of assassins who call themselves the fraternity. They are like really good at what they do and they end up recruiting Wesley (James McAvoy) the son of an already awesome (the best) fraternity member who was recently killed. They find and fight his murderer who happens to be a rogue fraternity member and also now, the new best assasin. So that's pretty straight forward right? Everything is fine and dandy until they start trying to justify the fraternity's little habit of killing people for a living. They apparently get their targets from a higher power, they refer to as fate. But get this, fate reveals itself threw a threading machine....
Wait for it....
Right. So there is an all heavenly threading deity that weaves out
the good and bad people of chicago into a little sudoku puzzle code for these assassins to target. Its is actually as silly as it sounds. And on top of that, these assassins are very very special people. Im talking bullet curving, slowing down time, flipping cars type of special people. So....unless you can do that, you cant get in. But needless to say because of these abilities there are some very cool action scenes that may or may not have borrowed the special effect from the Matrix Trilogy. And there is a twist. Like one of those twist that your best friend always mentions 20 minutes into the movie and you brush it off until it actually happens.And he's all like "i told you...i should write movie" Unfortunately, it is not until this twist occurs that this movie actually does become interesting. And you can take that for what its worth.
Its short comings:
-it may just be me (and my current state of just leaving chicago-which apparently will plague me for the entire movie summer- yes I was riddling off street names as they came on the screen and "L" train stops and could even recognize an ATM on the corner of a street whose bar i frequented), but any self respecting Chicagoan if paying attention, can see the holes in the plot regarding locations. Its pretty clear that Wesley lives in Wriglyville. But in the first action sequence he is shopping at a grocery store downtown. Followed by a car chase in the loop. Within 5 minutes...he hits up 3 completely separate areas of Chicago that are miles apart. No one who lives in Wriglyville would go grocery shopping down town and then drag there food on the red line back uptown 40 minutes away. Oh chicago...i miss you. Oh, and apparently the loop is a great assassination accessory.
-they over did it with the foreshadowing. Trust me, I get it...these assassins can make a bullet curve. You dont have to show me the trick 55 different times. Damn...I wish I had counted how many times that happened. CGI is amazing and slow motion exists. I get it.
- no worries....because i was at the movies with my mom, there was a sex scene, just like usual.Nice and uncomfortable, as usual. This isnt really a short coming,, more of "phew, im glad the universe is still working."
Cool Parts:
- Angelina is hot.
-Angelina is hot.
-Angelina is hot. Oh and someone does get smacked in the face with a keyboard which is pretty funny.
All in all. Ok flick. I would wait for the HBO showing. If I saw it on that channel, I would feel like I accomplished something. But if you want to get your mom to take you for free...I would totally recommend this movie.
BTW: After the movie my mom says to me, "That Angelina Jolie is such a wild one, Brad pitt shouldve stayed with that Jen girl."
...just 5 years, 3 international babies stolen and 2 bundles in the microwave oven too late mom. I also told her that she should watch her tongue, because if the movie was any indication to how Angelina obviously must be in real life, she (my mom) could catch a curved bullet to the head.
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