If you didnt die laughing at the picture alone...the following will alteast have you crumpled over to the floor gasping for air...atleast. Make sure you are by your phone for easy access you EMT (no area code needed on cellphones-duh!). Remember that sex tape that came out of Vern the midget from the Austin Powers movies...well here is what that self respecting girl has to say about his "love making" abilities...."So I'd lie on the bed and Verne would crawl up my legs to have sex with me. And as he did it his feet would be tickling my knees! It wasn't quite as passionate as sex with a normal-sized man but he did his best. He didn't wear a condom. There was no point, they're all too big. On the whole though, he wasn't short of sexy skills and tried his hardest to make up in technique what he lacked in size."
On their first time and the Mini-Me's magical rebound skills:
"I had no complaints. But the whole thing was over in three minutes. It was strange having sex with someone who couldn't reach to kiss me at the same time, except for my tummy that is! I was so relieved it was over. But minutes later Verne was ready to go again. That night we made love three times in 20 minutes, which most bigger men only dream about doing."
On why midget's prefer sex on dry land:
"I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub," she said. "Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in. But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn't see him."
Remember that scene in Coming to America where that performer drops the mic? Yes, that is exactly what I just did after copying and pasting that story. And now I will talk away....no further commentary needed . (she almost drowned him in the tub, holy f*ckin hysterical balls).
UPDATE: It has come to my attention that you may not know what I mean. This is the scene I am referring to.
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