sell yourself.

"Often the hardest thing to sell is yourself. There's just something unnatural about listing off all your accomplishments to random people, and hoping to peak someones interest without just feeling irritating. That's why this resume t-shirt does the talking for you. The front of the t-shirt can say anything: I need a job, help please, or the ever popular will ----- for money."

I needed this a few weeks ago.

VIA dailyobsessional

The Linkdown.

1. I absolutely don't think you want a man to carry a (your) baby. I'm a whiskey drinker myself. In a Whiskey world...you pass out alot.

2. The best girlfriends will pose naked to help advance your career. Fact.

3. Ninja Hoodies? Don't you mean, nuclear holocaust survival apparel?

4. This, is what I'm talking about. If you can be thwarted by dolphins, then imagine what a Seagal Solution could wrought upon an underdeveloped enemy.

5. However, those Somali Pirates are on the come up...when it comes to social media.

6. Ewwwww, gross. The ad. The logo. The concept. All of it is gross.

7. Oprah Tweets...Shaq corrects her. The un-funny part is that my mom just asked me if I "Twatted"? True story. I hate twitter. There ...I said it.

8. Google says men are into hair down there. So It must be true. Next stop...wikipedia.

9. Why it sucks to have made it through the cuts.... Now if by sucking, you mean paying your bills and feeding your children? Then, yes...it sucks to still have a job.

10. Danity Kane is officially dead. And I am official in mourning.

The Linkdown.

1. The Perfect Guiness Pour. 

2. Miami is the fattest city in the US. And that doesn't make sense...with all the bikinis and what not.

3.Real World "star", crawling around naked on ice to save a dog. I knew there was a reason I gave up my hopes of getting on that show.

4. Come on, how can everyone (especially the Irish) not like the Obama clan? 

5. When is throwing a live animal at a person funny? When its a Project Runway contestant.

6.Top 10 P*ssy Boasts in Rap.

7. No worries...the Pope actually DID MEAN IT, when he said that condoms were a bad idea in Africa. Phewww...

8. No way....they broke up? 

9. White Man Can Jump...and flip too!

Note to Self.

Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are the worst days of the week.  If you think they are long and daunting when you are working a 9 t0 5. Imagine them, when you are not. So if you have a job...do it well. Make your money. And spend that sh*t (don't you dare save it- we are in a recession). 

VIA where'smyjetpack

I should've been a Bailiff.

Time has released The 150 Best Recession-Proof Jobs. Mine is not there...obviosuly. See if yours is. 

Video Resume.

If being unemployed in this economy means having do make stuff like this to get into the creative shops, someone shoot me in my head. Or fund me through law school. I clean up real nice. I'll even do patent law.

VIA mediabistro

The Linkdown.

1. Fashion Magazine continues it's world domination...ever-so-slowly.

2. Ohhhh, so this is what Anger management looks like. 

 

3. A Weekly Unemployed Haiku. Umm...for inspiration.

4. Kanye picks a classy one.

5. This circus makes me want to crump dance. And crumping makes me dizzy...so you know I mean it.

6. The evolution of video game logos. This is for you design heads.

7. Congratulations, You've Been Fired!

8. Now this is a pretty pussy. Ummm, not porn.

life lesson:. blog pause.

Ok kids...in an effort to stay honest and increase my ability to help myself...I have decided to share. New York has a 10% unemployment. And I was just recently added to it through no fault of my own. Yes...this blogging fool has fallin victim to today's economy. I'm out on my ass. Living in NY....ridiculous rent....and hours of "free" time.

So...I'm putting this blogging thing on a hold. I'm gonna try to get my life together. If I see something truly inspiring, I'll post it. And more on "being let go" later. Promise.

Oh....and as a side note....when Bush was president....I always had a job. 

Ha! How many of you just lost respect for me? lol

Seeya soon.

on work loyalty.

the show must go on... no matter what.

VIA yesbutnobutyes

quiet.

the dreaded line. 

"you're so quiet."

I was trying to leave at 5pm on the dot today. I had an appointment (in my mind) to keep and a train to catch. And as I rounded the corner I ran into an AE. Now she seems to be a very nice woman, but she is what I call a "talker" . And she was...well talking to the other talker of the office. 

To be a talker you must possess the uncanny ablity to talk about anything at moments notice. There needs to be a storage bank of stories, riddles and life lessons attached to the back of your head. It is a powerful asset. Infact, when I look at talkers in action I am usually placed in a state of awe. It is definitely a skill set not for the faint at heart. I personally believe that the gift should earn you automatic entrance into the X-Men. But that's just my opinion. 

But back to my story. I was rounding the corner and ran into the following conversation:

Talker: Hey Shaun...you leaving so soon?

Me: Yeah its 5pm, Im going to get out of here...have a nice night!

Talker: You know, since youve been here you have been super quiet

Me (in my head): What the f*ck lady?

Me: Oh, well...Ive been trying to get to know my copy writer A-Dawg

Talker: Well, A-Dawg is always in here (referring to the Talker's den/office) chit chatting up a storm.

Me (in my head): And.....

Talker: Whap, whap, whap.....

Me: Okay, Im going to get going....see you!

I pouted the entire walk to my train for being misunderstood. I felt like I had to defend myself. And for what? Because Im not in the midst of sharing my personal life with the office? Because Im not gossiping or reveling in your morning story times? Ive been here for 2 weeks lady. Gimme a break. I may not be a mutant who specializes in talking to anyone about anything...but I am far from shy or quite. I will never ever force myself to talk just for talking sake or to entertain the masses. I have better things to do. Like clip my toenails and mold my buggers into little Statues of Liberty. Get it? Forced convo is not my cup of tea. And perhaps talker...maybe I dont find you particularly interesting.

The age old line....Its not me, its you... (see what i did there?)

journals of a Junior AD: Part 3 "Know your role"

So, I over stepped my boundaries. There was entire day devoted to writing lines for an ad we are placing in the WSJ. Its for some big financial do-what-er-have-you-whatcha-mecal it. Literally within a minute of reading the brief I was forced to pull up wikipedia. And the sad part is after I was done with the article and had clicked every possible link on the page...I still didn't know what was going on.

But needless to say I "faked the funk" (kelly) and spent an entire day coming up with 26 lines. 26. From an Art Director. My head almost exploded with all those words .What I did was use the already layed out themes: middle, international and precise ...and I just wrote. Im talking dictionary.com/ thesaurus.com wrote. And damn it...I looked my copy writer in the eye and said..."I can do your job." And I believed it. The following morning my CD brought me into the office and said  "You Shaun, should keep your day job...which happens to be art direction here at this company." He promptly gave me an Art Direction Project, booped me on the nose and sent me skipping out to my cubicle.

Nice try right? My copy writer, whom I shall now refer to as A-Dawg, apparently had some golden lines. Go figure.

On another note...I'm in the midst of developing 2 microsites. I spent about 2 hours in the main conference room today doing some 'brainstorming/what cant we do-ing" with our designer computer guy. The AE waltzed in to lay down the law on us creative types...but there was no tension. Cause in the end, its a job. And that's what I like about this agency sofar. There are some real people. I just cant wait to find the real people who party hard. But back to the meeting....it was riveting...the entire 2 hours. I know in my heart that I was meant to do this...and you know why...because its statistically known that I cant keep interest in one thing for more than 5 minutes at a time...but this meeting...kept me so interested, that I almost popped a boner.  Boners for advertising! Anyone? Boners.....

Can you tell I'm a fresh fish to the industry? Wait until I start to get jaded like all my other blogging buddies...thats when the real Junior AD journals get started. "This is the true story of 50 strangers picked  to work in an agency....

Some Job Perks that you dont have:

- Im an Ad Agency creative, I can wear whatever the f*ck I want. One day...I will wear shorts. And you know what...I will still have a job. A-Dawg wears shorts everyday and he has bee there longer than I have,

-Summer hours. Do you guys know what that means? On Fridays...if we have no work to do...nothing pending....we get out at 1pm. BOOYAH! I dont know what type of job you have personally...but mine is the Bomb.

-I told you about the private "room" bathrooms right? They are awesome. They are lined in marble. Sound and smell proof. Its just you and your toilet. No one else. And your own personal can of Oust. And thats the future people.

-At my old job, you had to pay for sodas....not here.

-more to come.....

Im lovin it.