What he wants in a life partner:
“The Joshua Tree of vaginas.”
What he wants right now:
“All I want to do now is fuck the girls I’ve already fucked, because I can’t fathom explaining myself to somebody who can’t believe I’d be interested in them.”
On his sexuality:
“I’ve never slept with a man. But I get it. I’ve seen pictures of men on the Internet that are sexier than pictures of most women.”
On his constant rejection by women:
“Blowing me off is the new sucking me off!”
On his strange relationship with the paparazzi:
“I have not had a woman appear in my dreams sexually without a paparazzi in the dream, too. I can’t even have a wet dream without having to explain to someone who’s grinding on me, ‘We can’t do this right now, because there’s a guy over there taking pictures.’”
Advice for Tiger Woods:
“If Tiger Woods only knew when to jack off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion. I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life.”
John Mayer in a recent Rolling Stones interview. Ha ha. This guy is funny. Probably real douchy....but funny (or high).
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