This fine specimen of a man is the one and only Tom Brady back in 2000. I dont want to play him....but, if the NFL is looking for the next star quarter back....they may want to knock on my door.
My obvious qualifications:
1- I can stand in a marked off square on the floor...even on one leg if you dare me
2- I can look frumpy and awkward in droopy grandpa underwear too
3- I have an "in-e"...cause everyone know "outties" cant throw the pig skin for shi....
If this all works out in my favor...you all will have the good fortune of meeting my future wife _________ (insert model with silly accent here). And I will give you free tickets to all my games. And there will be cheesecake involved. I promise.
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