1. Britney Spears Inside an America Tragedy. Alright...so I didnt know that magazines were allowed to do things like this, unless the former star was indeed former...as in dead. I just saw this cover floating around my office and my first thought was 'obit', then I thought 'this is going to be good.' And so it was..... One qoutation."an inbred swamp thing who chain-smokes, doesn't do her nails, tells reporters to 'eat it, snort it, lick it, fuck it' and screams at people who want pictures for their little sisters." And, wait, wait there is more.2. Hillary has decided that she would make a video too. Apparently, Borack is not the only one that has music video skills.
:ring. ring ring:
"Hello?"
"Yes....mmmhmmmm, yes...I understand"
:hang up:
Hillary, The Jackson Five just called. They want their music video back. Sorry Hillary.
3.Caffeine: A User's Guide to Getting Optimally Wired lists 5 ways to ingest caffeine so that you will get as much out of it as possible. They are 1-Consuming in small frequent amount 2-Playing to your cognitive strengths while wired 3-Playing to caffeine's strengths 4-Knowing when to start and stop again 5-Making sure your caffeine comes from a good source. Read nore about it on your own time....I'm going to inject this sh*t into my veins. Cause that is what they said to do in the foot notes...you know to avoid alzheimers and stuff. This, is my new favorite article.
4. Once you get past the creepy factor, this is a a really good idea. Eye stickers to put on the top of your eye lids....so you could take a nap at work, or when your significant other wants to "talk" or when, you're in a who can stay awake the longest contest. Well, atleast you'll have one part down...now someone needs to invent a turtle neck that stops the crazy sleep head jerks when you are trying to stay awake sitting up.
5. Ummm wtf. Giant Jelly fish. Kill that muth f*cker! Kill his children. And kill his 2nd cousins.....this is
why you cant be swimming any and every where. We are too bust marveling at monsters and not taking them out appropriatly so that we can swim unharmed.6. The only thing better than a nip slip is a nip slip without the slip. Thanks Pamela Anderson...you literally deliver the goods continuously. Keep up the good work.
7. I dont know how I missed this yesterday, but apparently Jane Fonda said the word "Cunt" on Good Morning America. Check it out here. Was she serious? Was it a joke? Who cares really...the words "Bitch" and "Slut" are said on TV all the time, just in a different time slot. Come on america, its 2008. Let a old hoe fucking say cunt. I mean its Jane Fonda for shit sake. Damn it! (5 bad words in 3 sentence...good for me).
8. Thank God the release of "Jumper" is today. Yesssss! Not that I have any interest in seeing it. But atleast will finally stop playing that stupid trailer. I must have seen the exact same traler 55 times, in full. I literally began counting down the days to release in hopes of TV commercial freedom. Even with DVR, the bastard trailer still gets shown. YES! Spider Cronicles....you were getting kinda close as well.
9. In good movie news. A desert. A mystic religous artifact. A whip. What could it be......The new Indian Jones movie, The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Holy mother of Mary- Harrison Ford is back and this time with that little kid from Transformers (if only they got his hot co-star Megan Fox too). All past Indie films bring everything to the table. Laughs. Love. Live Action. Betrayal. Whimsicle Nazis. Ughhhh, I am so excited about this...that I will see it with anyone. Anyone.
10. This crazy baby survived a tornado. 11 months old and the only one that lived in his houshold after a tornado straight up demolished his home. Miracle, no? My question...since the baby is clearly a magical being...is, did he go to OZ, and is it stil in 4-color?
p.s. RIP -To the kids and families the suffered in the recent school shootings here in Illinois.
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