calling all TV Junkies.

i have decided to share my unhealthy addiction to television shows. The following is my scheduled week in whole. Dont judge me.

Monday. American Gladiators. If I am lucky the Gladiators tear the contestants apart limp from limp. Why?.Well, thier down fall makes my Monday better, because atleast I know there was one other person out there who failed miserably at life a little bit more than me that day. Lets go Gladiators. Terminator. Oh man I have been itching to talk about this show for weeks 3 to be exact). It is really really entertaining. One would think that TV is not the best media for special effects (ie Smallville, Supernatural, Heros). But this one pulls off a good mix that doesn't leave you feeling like they needed a bigger budget. It sort of reminds me of Buffy in its first season. And everyone knows that after you get past your first season...shit only get better. Making the Band 4. The two successful bands of the trilogy (I guess three if you count Donnie) are back on MTV. When Puffy can no longer kick people off the show...he instead tries to stress the shit out of them on national tv by telling them to make an album in 5 weeks (instead of the regular year and a half). In my mind, it seems that by rushing the album, you are only forcing them to make a crappy music hence leading to your demise Puffy...and I think the boy group (that doesn't even have a name yet) is predisposed to failure seeing as how thier single that came out a year ago hasn't even hit the radio yet. Whatever the case, someone needs to tell Donnie that it is no longer 1998 and that he is bound to end up on VH1's Dr Drews rehab show (for ex/failed/halfc elebs) .

Tuesday. Sometimes I watch American Idol. But I really only make it through the first 2 or 3 episodes before I lose interest. Nip/Tuck fills my "what the fuck quota" for the week with its craziness. Later on in this carefully planned evening is Bad Girls Club, which is simply out of control. Lets throw 5 or 6 crazy girls into a house and see what happens. Taneisha is the epitome of ignorance. Every time she speaks, the entire African American race goes backwards approximately 2-3 years. Its like having the dice land on "go back two" in Sorry (even if there is no dice). Eventually, by the end of the season...we will all be slaves again. This show also makes me feel sorry for those unfortunate souls that went to all girl high schools. Jesus, Mary and Joseph. You are all survivors. And then, I end the night with my early week dosage of model tv, Janice Dickensons' Modeling Agency. And how can I forget House...the MD of being a complete smart ass. Oh how I aspire to be that man...minus the doctor part...and the bad leg....and the whole "being Caucasian thing." I just want to be a complete ass...a clever ass.

Wednesday. As long as I live and love, I will watch any MTV Real World Road Rules Challenge. Gauntlet, Inferno...name it whatever you want, they are my addiction. The only thing about this one is that they have all these new kids on from when they tried to revive their stupid Road Rules. And they insist on giving them screen time. Who are you and who are you. They should replace you both with each of Coral's breasts. My secret love, Project Runway is next. A full hour of flamboyant, design drama mixed with Tim Gun's catch phrase..."Make it Work" is the light of my life. (Future Prospects: America's Next Top Model..this is a guilty pleasure of mine, that I just cannot kick...will I see forehead tyra or bang tyra? No one knows).

Thursday. Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader. Let's just say that I am less than stellar at this game show. Infact, I picked up the habit of learning something new everyday....because I'll be damn if I'm called on the show only to be ousted by a mere child. Dorks. And for my late week model show fix....Make Me a Supermodel on Bravo. If you haven't caught on yet...I have a thing for modeling shows. The more the better. Infact, my dream job (besides just being born to rich-dom) would be to live the rest of my life getting paid to be in pictures. I'm just saying...in an ideal world. 30 Rock. Always, always, always funny...especially when they start writing new shows for it. The Office....though the new season isn't as funny as the old ones, I am still waiting for its return. (Future Prospects: LOST....I mean...need I say more.)


And that's it....about 14 hours (or so...give or take) of tv a week. It's not that bad right? Anyway, everyone's life will be a better place when the writers come back. And all the famous people start shaving again. Until then...watch the exact same shows as I do. You will be a better person for it.