I was sitting at my cubicle desk this morning, and my boss said some snark remark to me...I believe it was something like, "Good Morning." And I stared at her really long and hard and said...“Live for nothing, or die for something.” (in my head) and then I pulled out a bow and arrow and shot her in the eye socket (also in my head).
And this...is a normal reaction, if you spent your Saturday night watching the new Rambo Movie. With a plot about as complicated as saying your ABCs blindfolded and ultimately containing no more than 10 lines from the leading actor Sylvester Stallone , I sat through about 90 minutes of non stop 80s inspired action. And...well, it was great. People, if you are looking for a deep plot twisting, intense drama...this, is not it. However, if you are looking to be transported back in time to when action movies where simple stories filled with flying dead bodies and a war entrenched asian countries....this is the movie for you. You'll cringe, you'll laugh, you will audibly say "woah", and after you will want to literally kill someone. With that said...here are some John Rambo rules to live by if you find yourself fighting a foreign killer regime in Burma.
Rambo 101:
1. Always choose the biggest bullets and the biggest guns. Why? Well, logically speaking...you would want to blow someones head clean off and/or blow them 12 ft into the distance, because it leaves less room for what I like to call "death confusion." So 20 minutes later they arent back in your face talkin all that ching chong ching (sorry, a lil racist, but I was watching def comedy jam last night). Remember the simpler the plot the better. Dead means dead. And its better for you in the long run.
2. When you have a bomb, your best bet is to strap it to another bomb. Two conjoining bombs are always better than one...especially if the second one is a large one left over from world war II. Turns out that the Burmese (and I am guessing alot of other people) do not do to well with really really big explosions...even in the jungle.
3. Perfect the stare. You must be a man of little words (please note "a man"). You communicate with your eyes. And the only 2 messages you know how to give is....."I dont give a fuck" and "I can kill you if I really wanted to." So, picture this scenario....you walk into McDonalds and the cashier asks if you want fries with your value meal. You stare long and hard. And the cashier runs away is fear. Can you guess which look you just gave?
-FIN
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