Lets talk celebrity news (and real news, I guess), shall we. Not so spicey. So, the Spice Girls are on tour over in the magical land across the pond. They are rocking thier hits from the 90s on stage, and Posh Spice's boob pops out. Well, it would have if Melanie B didnt save her at the last minute. And to that I say" f*ck you Scary Spice." Mind your business. Useless acts of 2008....award goes to Melanie B. Listen Melanie...if god predetermined that a nip slip was instore, who are you to get in the way. This is like that time when you got knocked up by Eddie Murphy and then caused all of the US entertainment papers to bring your name up after like 5 years. Useless. And personally, I adore the Spice girls. They just need to know the rules of the road. Instead of this lame "helping a sista out" photo that is up here...we could have enjoyed a little British celeb nip slip. This, would finally put the rumors about Victora Beckham being a life size barbie robot to rest. Girl power is NOT always a good thing. Melanie...you are on my sh*t list.
In other private parts celeb news...Peter Wentz of the band Fall Out Boys has some photos that have leaked to the world wide web of his private parts (his boys did indeed fall out, lol). Camera phone pics no less. Apparently, he sent pics of himself...parts exposed, to a girl via picture texting and the girl then forwarded it on to..well, the entire world. The funny thing about all of this is that it plays perfectly into my cardinal rules: 1-Picture texting is an invention of the devil, meant to embarrass and crush your spirit, 2-dont allow other people to have full access to your nakey private picture (not saying that this has ever happened to me, but yeah...dont do it) 3-Always wear boxer briefs (show you package...without showing you package. ) Any way...PR stunt or real (unfortunately, I think real), the pictures are revealing, but not that exciting to all those who...you know...have their own Penis. And hey, life lesson...either don't trust your erections into other peoples hands (or do) or eliminate the picture text feature from your phone plan all together. I did the later, and my erection to this day cannot be googled (I just tried).
Holmes, not so Homely. Now, I never had a thing for Katie Holmes. When she was on Dawson's Creak, she was a boy. When she was in Batman Returns, she was boy in heels. Infact...I was never really part of her fan club in general. But this picture to the right proclaims that she is, indeed turning into a hottie. Some say she is c
opy catting her best pal Posh spice, but who really cares. 1. I am surprised that she even has the ability to look this hot and put together. 2. That Tom let her out of the cellar (cause I am pretty sure that is were she stays, for removal of spirits and stuff...cause you know she has alot of Scientology slack to make up, to get to Tom's status...the baby making probably set her back a few points) 3. That Bionic woman Beckham even considers Katie worthy enough to hang with. If looking hot does indeed rub off on people...Victoria needs to sell her sh*t in a can through QVC. There are a few...alot of people I know that need a gallon or so of it. And, I just threw this thing in of that grl from that show in MTV that thinks she is famous. Click on the image...her boobs are large and in charge. As I use to say back in the day..."She got some tig ole Bittys!"
opy catting her best pal Posh spice, but who really cares. 1. I am surprised that she even has the ability to look this hot and put together. 2. That Tom let her out of the cellar (cause I am pretty sure that is were she stays, for removal of spirits and stuff...cause you know she has alot of Scientology slack to make up, to get to Tom's status...the baby making probably set her back a few points) 3. That Bionic woman Beckham even considers Katie worthy enough to hang with. If looking hot does indeed rub off on people...Victoria needs to sell her sh*t in a can through QVC. There are a few...alot of people I know that need a gallon or so of it. And, I just threw this thing in of that grl from that show in MTV that thinks she is famous. Click on the image...her boobs are large and in charge. As I use to say back in the day..."She got some tig ole Bittys!"Yikes and yikes. There are 2 there because this one is scandalous. American Gladiators went untarnished for ummm....about 4 days. Turns out that Militia...one of the Gladiators, did gay porn in the past. Ahem. NBC countered by saying that he indeed participated in the industry, but he only took nude photography for a gay porn audience. I counter by saying..."Ha, ha, ha...what did you think was going to happen." If you ar enot sure who I am talking about, Alex Castro is the man. And this kind of sucks for him, because viewership is bound to decline. All of middle America are homophobes. But we need to look at this in a positive light. Gays are now flipping the script. They are now f*cking people (straight guys) up, instead of vice versa. I wouldn't be surprised if other tv star porn careers start popping up...like Hurly from LOST or Tom from "Tom & Jerry." I think we should all take this as a lesson. If you want to be someone important in life...you may not want to do gay porn. It always creeps back up on you. From the back, of coarse...strapped in leather, with a tube of Vaseline.
OK...Im out of stuff. Catch you laters skaters. And feel free to comment. I need some self reassurance sometimes.
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