1.22.2008

monster dork.

PS :::this blog IS a bit of a Spoiler:::

Cloverfield. This movie was niether good...nor bad. But, guess what guys...this movie is a monster flick. A giant monster, to be exact. And as clued to in by the trailers, it is bringing some serious raucous and chaos to of all places, Manhattan. It starts of with a surprise party, held for a this guy who is moving away to Japan (whap whap) to be the vice president of some corporation. The cast is attractive, a little dumpwitted, but overall...reasonably believable as party goers and idiots. And then an explosion...which causes the JT track that is playing to stop (just as I was getting my groove on)...and then, all hail mighty monster from the crypt. The next 60 minutes is spent viewing the onslaught of bad decisions that these characters make as they go gallivanting thruoghout the city to save their friend, who lives in a high rise by Central Park (key location, but aparently not very monster proof).

Pros: There was not only a big monster...but little small monsters that fell of the big one. And they, were feroucious. Human stupidity is still running ramped in this monster flick..."Hey, I have an idea guys, let's go into the subway...and walk threw the abandoned tunnels to midtown (express train of death)." Exploding bodies...check. And...that's about it.

Cons: The first 5 minutes of monster mayhem...when there was no monster (an i say this whole heartedly), reminded me of 9/11. It was very eerie seeing clouds of smoke billow down the street as buildings collapsed. I cannot lie, in my mind i was saying, "Im not into this." But then we (the viewer) caught a glimpse of some giant sexy monster calf, and I was immediately relieved. The concept of love...was once again squeezed into yet another film for no reason. Lets be serious....if you were about to die, wouldnt you say "I love you" to anyone around you? On a different note, halfway through the flick, one could ask themselves...how the hell are these kids surviving all this?, cause I know personally I woulda died like 15 minutes ago (see that brick that fell of the build building, that's all me). Also, if you think you are going to walk away with a clear understanding of the naming of the movie, the monster and his origins or anything else sensibly related....you are sadly mistaken.

And it is within this last point that my inquiry was inspired. You may not be interested in the rest of this blog, but luckily, it's my blog, so.....

We all know about the viral campaign that was out there months b4 the movie...if not, here we go. One the official Cloverfield website, a link appeared, along with subsequent commercials for a company called Slusho. But this is not the first time Slusho (some weird slushie making company in Japan,) has been seen. It was also been spotted in the tv series "Alias". And most recently "Heros".

So what the f*ck is going on here? It is all so absurd that I cant even logically describe it right now. As I scanned the blogosphere/youtube for answers...I only received more holes in the plot. Apparently, there were people at the party in the movie rocking Slusho t-shirts before the big bang. And the main character, who was moving to Japan..was going to work for Slusho. Also, there's signs of a satellite falling into the ocean at the very end of the movie. Deep sea drilling...sure why not. There is such a mudpit of conflicting buzz out there that is a little hard to focus on one thing. But what does this all have in common? JJ Abrams. The producer of Cloverfield. Also, the creator of a little show called "LOST."

I know, I know...I just blew your mind. Here's the thing. How much irrelevant information can the consumer take before loosing interest? There's this, then that, then the movie, then no answers in the movie, then leads to answers, then talks of sequels, the interconnecting webs to completely different shows. I mean, are the TV "Heros" going to save the world on the big screen? Or is the Cloverfield monster the 1st cousin of the smoke monster on "LOST "(yeah, that's right, I didnt forget about you, LOST Smoke monster). Is this a sign of marketing gone too far? Or pure creative genius?

We will see. Well...not me, maybe you. If I want to see Godzilla meets The Blair Witch project.....I'll rent them both separately...cause you know what....atleast they give me a beginning, middle and end. I say no to plot cross overs, and no to confusing viral campaigns, and no to milk bi-products. You Bastards, leave my brain alone!

Rule of thumb...you cant keep producing more questions, than there are answers. People....loose....in.....tere...sssss...


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