Everyone who knows me, comprehends the enduring love and support I have for JLo and all her endeavors. I've been there though all her miniseries of lovey dovey movies, albums (sans the Spanish ones, not meant for me) and even the career flops such as Gili, Angel eyes and getting married to the crack baby.
But this I cannot support (whole heartedly). It's like a prom dress gone wrong. Or an acid trip dipped in disco inferno and strirred in the grips of hell's Queer Eye for a Sraight Guy. Indeed burn baby burn....of my retinas. And as much as I would love to see this body fully unclothed, every time I look at this photos I can imagine the crack baby saying ,"Mami, you look muy bonita...like a taco wrapped in South American dreams."
I mean, becoming mainstream in Spanish speaking countries should be less mortifying and more...well, sexy. P. Diddy would have never let her get on stage like this. Whap whap.
In other news Alicia Keys is dropping another album...starting with her new single "No One."
Awesome song...to which after viewing the video, I thought immediately....no one could pull off the horrible side, french, ponytail braid thingy you have at the end, but you Alicia...No Onnneee..
So Brit lost her children. Looks like it's no longer Her Against the Music. Turns out she was too Toxic to hold on to them. She followed her Prerogative and kept getting f*cked up every night after she had kids. Almost dropped the Boys a few times. Sometimes she let the 2-yr old drive the car, which is Crazy. And now, the court system did Do Something. The gave the kids to K-fed....how UnLucky and Outrageous. Looks like in the future...she will have to be Stronger. And lets all hope that as far as kids are concerned, she'll never have to say "Oops I did it Again"
And by the way I'm a Slave for You.
**Did you see what I did there? Using her song titles to describe her current life circumstances. But seriously, I think they should give all the kids to Moesha's friend, cause KFed is clearly NOT the next logical choice. They might as well of given the kids to the dancing hippo that lives in my head. What? Wait, I don't really care what happens.
Cat Woman is having a baby. (Check that link out a time or two, would ya). I would just like to say Halle Berry has been in the top 5 of my 10 hottest women list since its creation in 98'. And when I heard of her pregnancy... a tear ran down my cheek. And then down my chiseled 8-pack. Ahem.....and I'm uber (yes uber) jealous of that white guy who got to plant his seed in my top 5. I mean...I'm model material. She coulda had my bi-racial kids........ cause lord knows I would give up my "blackness" in a second just to go to dinner with halle, let alone have her condomize me. LoL.
With this said...her are my top 10 celebrity crushes....judge me if you will.
1- JLo- I know she is having a baby aswell, but crackbabies dont count, she is still #1
2-Jessica Alba
3-Adreana Lima- exotic hot, but could never talk to her with that silly accent
4-Gabriel Union- "She's the Queeeen to Beeeeeee......."
5- Halle Berry
6-Megan Fox- Hello Transformers!
7-Thandi Newton
8- Kristina - (Stina from Janice Dickersons Modeling show )-Wifey Material
9-Alicia Keys- she fluctuates b/t 5 and 10, depending on her ghettoness at the time
10-Lauren Hill- Like from Sister Act 2, lord knows what she looks like now
that's all for now......remember, gossip is your friend.
No comments:
Post a Comment