dangerous drinking.

Dear Chicago,

Please stop your freakish weather patterns. Or atleast hold off for a year or two. You are scaring the east coasters.

Thanks in advance,


I was on my way to happy hour yesterday, walking though the city, minding my own business. I was just suppose to meet up with some co-workers and sling back a few. It was a nice day...like 70's...good jogging weather, horrible getting dressed for work weather. I had my new Aldo shoes on...yep, they were purchased about 2 hours after I posted that last blog. lol, im real compulsive.

Anyway, something hits me in the back of my head. Like a pebble. Then a few more started hitting my back. And then little white pellets began whizzing by me and hit the ground only to bounce recklessly in front of me. So, in my head I'm, like "Is it hailing in the fall?" So I turn around...and what could only be described as a scene from Day After Tomorrow.

Picture me in the middle of the street as a wave of if ice comes barrelling between the buildings toward me. I kid you not. People were ducking and running to cover- after the intial, "what the fuck" that was in my head-I too was ducking for cover. So I'm huddled b/t like 10 people under this awning thingy on the side of the road, as a down our of torrential ice bullets surrounds us.

things that went through my mind:

a. this is the end of the world and i just finished writing and posting a blasphemous blog, slighting Christianity as we know it. Hello Hell.

b. i would die being on my way to happy hour. On my grave...."Here lies the man who died for a beer."

c.i wish i had a decent hair cut when my parent identified my body in the morge.

then the hail stopped and was followed by rains and I proceed to the pub. Turns out there is a serious tornado/storm and we caught the edge of it. So, even though I called my mom under that awning and told her I loved her and stated my will for my fine belongings (ex. "Give my seven jeans to my baby cousin and she can have my fossil watch )....if I see...like see a real tornado, I will move out of this city.

I've already experienced high winds, deadly winters, and other end of days antics. But if a tornado comes into my sights...and messes with my reality that they do only exist in movies...I will be on the next plane heading east. Fact.


PS I'm enjoying some straight up high school cafeteria food right now. Post 11 beers in three hours on a work night, these fried chicken wings and curly fries r hitting the spot. Sh*t, I may need to go home room and visit my guidance counselor after this meal. Ha Haaaa (Simpsons reference.)

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