the day after Sunday. Blah.

good Monday.
Hark! A new blog for you. From me. With loathing.

OUT-of shape. I played tennis this past weekend. It's been like a year and a half since I last played, and even longer since I've had a real match. Needless to say, I suck major balls, but I didn't do as badly as I usually do after I take long-period breaks. But, what this paragraph is really about...are my thighs. And my shoulders. And my arms for that matter. Yesterday, they were sore as hell, like I had just gotten beaten by my step mum in a dark ally in Harlem the night b4. I felt like a quadriplegic, suddenly wishing there where ballerina wall rails lining my home. Hating the concept of stairs. Needless to say, usually I would compare myself to a young Matthew McCaughnehey (sp?) physic wise, mixed with the wisdom and charisma of Denzel and the sex appeal of Brad Pitt. But, as I crawled through my home like a WW2 veteran in the trenches due the fear of falling (btw, did you know that the fear of female genitalia is called Kolpophobia- don't say I never taught you anything) I've come to realize that maybe my daily regiment of spoon-to-mouth reps and other such work-out patterns, may be the reason why I could not walk all yesterday and lets not talk about right now (think Gumby on Meth with drawl-that's what my body is doing right now). I fear moving and have been in the same spot since 8am. Typing.

So, as of, when I get my new ipod case, some under armor, and running shoes (which I dont really need, but an awesome excuse to go shopping)....I will be getting in shape. Cause how am I suppose to stay at the top of my my sexual prowl- I mean game, how will I stay on top fo my game like physically and mentally......

Anyone want to play with me?

Halloween. In your face...stupid, stupid holiday. The weekend in which you have the most power, and highest influence...I did not sub cum. In the midst of fairies, pirates, sheriffs, clowns, nurses, slutty cops, gladiators, peter pan (sans Tinker Bell), Kanye Wests, Watermelons, Vampires, Marios and Princesses, Pimps that Provide protection, Hoes, V from V for Vendettas, tennis players (Laila's half assed costume, haha), Girls Scouts, Randy Savages, Tina Turners and Narutos...I held my own. Dressing up as absolutely nothing and no one. I was myself...since I live in Chicago north, if asked, "What ARE YOU" (which is stupidity at its apex, cause I clearly was dressed normally) I defaulted to R&B singer or Rap Star...and surprise, surprise....it worked.
(p.s. My roommate Kelly from Kansas, {KK_...coincidence, I think not} admitted to me, that he mistook a random black man on the "EL" for me- in his words, a white moment . This adds to my theory. My own roommate mixes up his blacks, YIKES!)
But, overall...I win! Halloween..."fuck your couch!"

What time is it? It's time to Rant and Rave.

-I'm tired of the replace this with that craze. Turkey has replaced ham and beef. %s have replaced whole. Listen America, if God wanted us to have 2% and half and half milk...he would of created cows that specialized in making that crap. Or he would of inspired the first man who thought to cut up and ground a pig into delicious little links, to use a turkey as a test run. But NO. He did neither.Natural selection says if you can't handle it, like it was suppose to be made, then you get none, and eventually die, hence ending your legacy of mal-adapted being (If you cant hadle the heat, you die in the kitchen). So, 2% milk drinkers and you turkey (instead of beef) freaks- feel free to die anytime. Think of it as sacrifice to push humanity foward, and up the food chain. A Darwin-esk Kamikaze

-I'm tired of people pulling their family into the work place. "Ewwww, open position, let me get Pukee from up the block...he needs a job." Granted, I might be hating, because every job I have ever gotten, was a pure and utter result of my ability or my faux interviewing ability at least, lol. But isn't that how it should be? Pulling in your family is like being the boss, and fucking the receptionist, and sending out a memo about it. Result...tension, angst, jealousy and suspicion. Above all, what if the person is an idiot? Red card, red card...cease and desist.

"This is not happening in my life"

- I'm tired of people in ill fittedsuites. Throw yourselves infront of your morning commute vehicle. And Penny Loafers. Oh God, "Hi my name is Teddy, I'm in 6th grade and my fav pokemon is Bulbsaur, mom packed me a juice box with a sippy straw." or "Hi, I'm a starch republican...the government should attach trackers to the back of everyone's neck, so we know what they are up to all the time (Big brother/Minority Report reference). Oh, and I'm a closeted gay male that has hidden in the ranks of Catholicism and is totally against gay marriage."

lol, to much? Sometimes, I go overboard.

- Speaking of Republicans. I'm tired of our President totally ignoring natural disasters. Well, disasters in general. I was watching CNN (not a regular thing, I assure you) as fire was eating up the state of California. And then, Bush interrupts the coverage for an important speech. I'm thinking, oh, how very on-top of him, to speak about this disaster so early. Nope, this asses- all-so-important press conference was him asking congress for more money to fund the war. Hello! remember the time California was burning to the ground?

I think that's it for today....all that worldly knowledge I just dropped...tuckered me out.

Oh, oh, oh. I've embarked upon a new project. Back in the day...like 8th grade, I use to write short stories and stuff like that. I think I will incorporate this idea into my blogging patterns,- Look for Just Stories label...perhaps in monthly installments. Let me know what you think about this notion(not that it matters).

Quote of the Day: From the current book I am reading....Apathy and Other Small Victories

"I think our generation has been called to apathy just as our grandparents were called to defeat fascism and the baby boomers were called to get divorced and fuck around for most of their adult lives before bankrupting the entire goddamn country when they retire. But we have the chance to do something really special here. Imagine a world where people didn't care enough to go to war over anything. Where some guy gets up in the morning and says, 'I know God wants me to kill the infidels and keep gay people from marrying each other, but I just don't give a shit. I'm going back to bed.' It would be paradise on earth. This is our mission. I think we can make it happen, but I really don't care either way. And that's called hope."~ Paul Neilan



Anonymous said...


1. you finally mention me. i guess thats puts your blog up for consideration to stay where its at or go above kanye's. if the motion passes youll be recieveing some kind of lame direct mail piece that reads. "congrats, some thinks your blog is better than Kanye West's or they made a mistake. if this is the case please return to sender."

2. this 2% drinker and white meat eater will not die. so ha!

3.bulbsaur? is that a real one? anyways good one there.

5. (fuck 4, its better to end with 5) half assed? yea thats true. lol.

shaun. said...

kanye has a blog?