"Whatever the hawks of the media choose to write, it is clear that Rolex played a major role in Owen Wilson’s recovery..wearing a Rolex Submariner and attending Rolex Benefits helped Owen Wilson realize his life was valuable and worth living. Once again, the precision and quality of a Rolex proves to be a lifesaver in more ways than one."

- a Rolex website (i.e. some soulless PR monkey).

Holy sh*t. Is it legal to make such an absurd suggestion in public? This watch right here will cure cancer...you just need a couple thousand. 

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