get it?
1.18.2008
1.17.2008
Introducing.
the new MacBook Air. Apples newest and thinnest laptop to date. With 2GB of RAM 80GB of memory this little guy can apparently fit into an envelope, messenger of course.
And as amazing as this sounds, please keep the following in mind before you drop thousands of dollars trying to keep up with the cool kids.
1. The 1yr trial period. It is said...and I have experienced that new apple products are flawed in general. And they need about a year for themb (Apple) to truly get all the kinks out (lol, i said kink). Infact, I promise you that if you buy this product now...you will hate apple and Steve Jobs for little over a year as your life is wiped away in one single swoop of your screen shutting down and multiple visits to the apple store.
2. It only has 80 GB of memory! Hell, my big toe has more memory than that. You'll save like 3 jpegs to your desktop and it will blow up.
3. It only has 1 usb port. In turn...you can only do one usb related activity at a time. Want to transfer pics from your digital camera and charge your ipod? Nope, sorry...your computer is too skinny.
I guess I never really understood why people want their computers so small. Like a 6 inch display...or this thin thing. Who really cares, if it cant do exactly what you want it to do. Just my opinion.
Anyway...check the geeks out at the convention...gasping in awe. "OMG, did he say computer." I can only imagine the pocket protector quota at this event.
And as amazing as this sounds, please keep the following in mind before you drop thousands of dollars trying to keep up with the cool kids.
1. The 1yr trial period. It is said...and I have experienced that new apple products are flawed in general. And they need about a year for themb (Apple) to truly get all the kinks out (lol, i said kink). Infact, I promise you that if you buy this product now...you will hate apple and Steve Jobs for little over a year as your life is wiped away in one single swoop of your screen shutting down and multiple visits to the apple store.
2. It only has 80 GB of memory! Hell, my big toe has more memory than that. You'll save like 3 jpegs to your desktop and it will blow up.
3. It only has 1 usb port. In turn...you can only do one usb related activity at a time. Want to transfer pics from your digital camera and charge your ipod? Nope, sorry...your computer is too skinny.
I guess I never really understood why people want their computers so small. Like a 6 inch display...or this thin thing. Who really cares, if it cant do exactly what you want it to do. Just my opinion.
Anyway...check the geeks out at the convention...gasping in awe. "OMG, did he say computer." I can only imagine the pocket protector quota at this event.
1.16.2008
scrambled skin heads.
I really wanted this to make sense. Cause, you know...I hate nazis just as much as the next orthodox jewish person.
So, they made this egg cup...who I guess is a Nazi (totally looks like a Nazi to me). And you are suppose to put an egg into the cup and eat it. So that you are literally and figuratively taking Nazi-ideas out of heads.
Whap! Whap! And that's not too the movement in general, it is to the idea that was poorly executed in this silly gimmick. What are you saying? Once we remove the ideas(yoke), where do they go? We ingest and then digest them. So technically....you are not getting rid of ideas or changing minds (if you stick to the theoretical meaning of this contraption), you are simply taking them for your self. There is also an over tone of violence here. "Bash his head in, then he will be a better man."I dunno, I guess if you speak german the following website can help you out. http://www.lautgegennazis.de/
In my opinion, I think the following throw back campaign woulda worked better.
"This is your brain, this is your brain on Nazi."
Hey, it worked once...back in the early 90's.... didn't it? I know Im not on drugs...or on Nazi...so....
Star Wars-Robot Chicken
I dont do this often, in fact...I usually like to hoard all my secretes. But. this was really funny. Robot Chicken's (a silly cartoon/puppet thing) on cartoon network's Adult Swim does a take on Star Wars.
You gotta see it. I promise atleast one laugh. Even from my most hardcore critics of friends. You know who you are. (squinted eyes)
1.15.2008
how emmmmmbarrassing.
And you thought you were embarrassed when you showed up to the school dance with the same shirt as little Johnny. Well Carlos Moya of Spain played Stefan Koubek , in the same outfits. Like brothers from another mother...
this totally beats that time I had to kill my room mate for borrowing my white vneck undershirt.Or at least that was word on the street. If only we were playing tennis. Then this would all be topical.
let it begin.
this is the time of the year (Jan 14-27) where I could give a damn what is going on in the real world. Tennis is my world, and the Australian Open the universe it is currently playing in. Lets go over the promising players of 2008.
Returning Champ. Arguably one of the best players in mens tennis to date. 12 titles under his belt. He is trying to go for his third in a row in the land of Kangas & Roos (Winny the Pooh reference). Swiss born......Roger Federer.
Venus....my girl. All i know is you, Venus...need to keep raising the bar. How short can you have your shorts on court? How heavy does your jewlery have to be to hinder your playing ability? I dunno...lets find out. In the finals shall we.
Wild child. Nadal. The only thing better than umbros (libre balls shorts) is a good old fashion pair of Capros. Capris for men. So, so sexy.
My personal fav. Agassi in the making (give him a few years). James Blake. Straight from the "hood" he is an ivy league non grad. Which if you ask me is the way to go. I shoulda went to Havard and then NOT graduated. I woulda been rich by now. Anyway...I digress. Blake, the man, the myth....the dude who inspired me to grow a fro (syyyyck, that was clearly my roommate).
Other mentionables....obviously the lovely Sharapova who will be playing the archaic Davenport (who just pooped out a baby a few months ago)... tomorrow night. Marat Safin...one day you will be good again. Your motherland demands it. Llyeton Hewitt, the racist. Not every black person is an aborigine. There are a few others out there. A whole lot of Serbians. Tons of young Russian girls (the ones that do not become mail order brides). And a handful of asians. All in all, I am an old head. Cant keep up with everything. Damn Australians are going to make me stay up all night...shucking and jiveing with them.
Its gonna be a long 2 weeks of tennis. for both me, and you.
i quit.
the fact that I have taken the time to even copy and paste this, should tell you the state of mind I am in right now, at 2am in the morning, when I have casually convinced myself that "the man" is running my life.
The No Show
It's Monday morning and your alarm clock is buzzing, ringing, or playing a radio station. Your normal routine might have you slapping the snooze button a few times and tricking yourself out of bed with the promise of coffee. However this morning is Quit Your Job Day. This morning instead of hitting the snooze button, you unplug the clock. And the phone. And depending on how invasive your manager is, your door bell. This is by far the easiest way to quit your job, as it requires the absolute minimum of effort on your part. Sleep well into the afternoon knowing that you've terminated a job well done.
In Cube Vacation
This method requires a little bit of timing and a near intimate knowledge of your employer. It should not be attempted by amateurs. Starting one to five weeks before Quit Your Job Day, simply stop doing any meaningful work. Spend your time decorating your cube with pictures of vacation spots, turn your Internet radio to Hawaiian music, and sneak in a sun lamp. Sand on the floor would be a nice touch. When asked about the current state of any give project state that it's "being worked on" or "should be finished late next week." Either your boss will notice your strange behavior and you'll end up having to explain yourself or, if you are very lucky, the bureaucracy in your office is so deep that your shenanigans will go unnoticed. If confronted immediately apologize and say that you had hoped that your problems had not affected your work performance. Ask for the rest of the day off as a mental health day, and explain that you have another appointment with your doctor tomorrow. Never go back to work.
Reverse Firing
In the corporate world you often get reviewed for your performance. The meetings are uncomfortable affairs where your manager goes down a checklist of things that 'could use improvement'. On Quit Your Job Day, you'll be calling a review meeting of your own. Create a list of things the company needs improvement in. Watch your manager squirm as you point out bad health benefits, impenetrable paperwork, inhuman working environments and other OSHA related problems. At the end of your review look your manager straight in the eye and ask 'What would you do if you were me?', pause and then announce 'I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go.'
Lunch Escape
For the timid, the lunch escape may provide the ideal solution. Plan a large lunch with your closest allies and friends from work. The location should be some place casual that serves alcohol. Mexican restaurants are ideal. During lunch casually mention that it's Quit Your Job Day, and remember that you have some brochures you downloaded from the web site. Joke about not going back to work after lunch while simultaneously buying the next round. If someone suggests heading back, accuse them of trying to avoid buying their round of drinks. Pretty soon you'll all be looking for new jobs.
taken and formally redistributed from quityourjobday.com . Which unfortunately has passed, but like I always say... better late than never. You should especially quit your job if you are an AD at a big agency in NY or Chi-town. Then send me an email. it isnt all of them, but here are the few I admire.
It's Monday morning and your alarm clock is buzzing, ringing, or playing a radio station. Your normal routine might have you slapping the snooze button a few times and tricking yourself out of bed with the promise of coffee. However this morning is Quit Your Job Day. This morning instead of hitting the snooze button, you unplug the clock. And the phone. And depending on how invasive your manager is, your door bell. This is by far the easiest way to quit your job, as it requires the absolute minimum of effort on your part. Sleep well into the afternoon knowing that you've terminated a job well done.
In Cube Vacation
This method requires a little bit of timing and a near intimate knowledge of your employer. It should not be attempted by amateurs. Starting one to five weeks before Quit Your Job Day, simply stop doing any meaningful work. Spend your time decorating your cube with pictures of vacation spots, turn your Internet radio to Hawaiian music, and sneak in a sun lamp. Sand on the floor would be a nice touch. When asked about the current state of any give project state that it's "being worked on" or "should be finished late next week." Either your boss will notice your strange behavior and you'll end up having to explain yourself or, if you are very lucky, the bureaucracy in your office is so deep that your shenanigans will go unnoticed. If confronted immediately apologize and say that you had hoped that your problems had not affected your work performance. Ask for the rest of the day off as a mental health day, and explain that you have another appointment with your doctor tomorrow. Never go back to work.
Reverse Firing
In the corporate world you often get reviewed for your performance. The meetings are uncomfortable affairs where your manager goes down a checklist of things that 'could use improvement'. On Quit Your Job Day, you'll be calling a review meeting of your own. Create a list of things the company needs improvement in. Watch your manager squirm as you point out bad health benefits, impenetrable paperwork, inhuman working environments and other OSHA related problems. At the end of your review look your manager straight in the eye and ask 'What would you do if you were me?', pause and then announce 'I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go.'
Lunch Escape
For the timid, the lunch escape may provide the ideal solution. Plan a large lunch with your closest allies and friends from work. The location should be some place casual that serves alcohol. Mexican restaurants are ideal. During lunch casually mention that it's Quit Your Job Day, and remember that you have some brochures you downloaded from the web site. Joke about not going back to work after lunch while simultaneously buying the next round. If someone suggests heading back, accuse them of trying to avoid buying their round of drinks. Pretty soon you'll all be looking for new jobs.
So...I would be straight up lying to you (by omission) if I didnt tell you that my next website viewing will be about the bombing of pearl harbor and the germans.
-FIN
PS, If you need an example of a resignation letter, here is Richard Nixons, use it as your muse.
PS, If you need an example of a resignation letter, here is Richard Nixons, use it as your muse.
1.14.2008
the moscow know how.
if there is any city in Mother Russia that would know the exact angle inwhich to approach the drug useing community, it is Moscow. The Moscow Anti-Drug wax museum features the many "bad" outcomes of using drug. It's about awareness people. Awareness. Check it out:
I do not know about you guys, but these wax dope fiends, crack heads and heroin addicts have opened up my eyes. Russia is indeed a pioneer. First the monkey in space, now this. God, how will we ever keep up with them?
Side Note: How sweet would it be if we were at this museum trippin on an eightball? ........What? Dont look at me like that. I dont judge you.
Sensual Seduction. Snoop.
This is like the video of the year. It is so retro it made me want to telport back in time and lick the polycoated furniture whilst I smell the shag rug. I want a round bed and my very own flag girl (:30). stat!
1.12.2008
thrown in the pit.
God Warrior. Wife Swap gone wrong.
"If you are darksided, get out of my house." All i have to say is, Im glad that someone had the strength to say what ive been thinking every day of my life. I too hate dark sided people. Or maybe its just dark people that I hate. Or maybe its profiles. Wait, what are we talking about again? Cheesecake.
"If you are darksided, get out of my house." All i have to say is, Im glad that someone had the strength to say what ive been thinking every day of my life. I too hate dark sided people. Or maybe its just dark people that I hate. Or maybe its profiles. Wait, what are we talking about again? Cheesecake.
1.11.2008
whats really good.
A few key points on this lovely Friday.
1. Marion Jones was just sentenced to 6 months in prison today. All I can say is that I hope they have an indoor track for her to stay healthy and fit...she is one of American's finest (with steroids and all). Another key point to this story, is the fact that she look almost like a normal woman, and not like the other freakish female pro athletes.
Kudos Marion, Kudos.
2. Please note the conversation below:
Man 1- "Yo, I dont know how they get those guys to just give up their lives
and run into a building."
Man 2- "Yeah I wonder what they tell them, 'Your gonna be mad popular in
heaven if you highjack this plane and shit'."
Man 1- " You would never see me doin some shit like that, I'd rather take a
nap."
Man 3- "Yeah, but I heard these guys are like dirt poor....."
I experienced this little nugget of a conversation as I passed a group of Federal guards while I was walking into work. Chuck full of understanding and intelligence. I love the nation I live in.
3. I am turning into a psycho workout fanatic. Key words in my vocabulary. Protein. Rest days. 8k marathon. Carbs. Diets. So, if you call me and say, "Hey Whats up man?" I may respond with one of those previous words. Do not get confused, just send me a text.
And to clarify, this is not the result of some...New Years resolution. Infact, I have no resolutions thise year...except staying alive, making out whenever I can and showing off my ripped diesel-ness to the rest of the underprivileged world. Just a warning.
So....basically, a blog about nothing, but you still read it. Ha ha. I have been wanting a vodka red bull since 11am this morning so I am a little light headed. I will end this all with this simple little video. Reminds me of NY so much. "This is my New Fucking Hair Cut."
1. Marion Jones was just sentenced to 6 months in prison today. All I can say is that I hope they have an indoor track for her to stay healthy and fit...she is one of American's finest (with steroids and all). Another key point to this story, is the fact that she look almost like a normal woman, and not like the other freakish female pro athletes.
Kudos Marion, Kudos.
2. Please note the conversation below:
Man 1- "Yo, I dont know how they get those guys to just give up their lives
and run into a building."
Man 2- "Yeah I wonder what they tell them, 'Your gonna be mad popular in
heaven if you highjack this plane and shit'."
Man 1- " You would never see me doin some shit like that, I'd rather take a
nap."
Man 3- "Yeah, but I heard these guys are like dirt poor....."
I experienced this little nugget of a conversation as I passed a group of Federal guards while I was walking into work. Chuck full of understanding and intelligence. I love the nation I live in.
3. I am turning into a psycho workout fanatic. Key words in my vocabulary. Protein. Rest days. 8k marathon. Carbs. Diets. So, if you call me and say, "Hey Whats up man?" I may respond with one of those previous words. Do not get confused, just send me a text.
And to clarify, this is not the result of some...New Years resolution. Infact, I have no resolutions thise year...except staying alive, making out whenever I can and showing off my ripped diesel-ness to the rest of the underprivileged world. Just a warning.
So....basically, a blog about nothing, but you still read it. Ha ha. I have been wanting a vodka red bull since 11am this morning so I am a little light headed. I will end this all with this simple little video. Reminds me of NY so much. "This is my New Fucking Hair Cut."
inked.
Alright, so I have been stressin out over what tatoo to get next and its respective location.
And then I stumbled upon this pic right here, and I was suddenly inspired. For the ignorant at heart, the tattoo is the shape of Bermuda. I kind of like it. The only problem is...I couldn't put it in the middle of my back, because there is a tat on my shoulder blade, and the space relationship is all wrong.
What do you guys think?
Keep in mind a few, Shaun rules:
- no color tattoo
-no words (even though I almost broke this rule)
-no private parts
-where ever its location, no one needs to know I have it, unless I show it to them
-no cartoons, dragons, panthers or portraits
-nothing too detailed, there is a tribal theme currently happening on my body
-and finally, nothing that may require multiple visits, simply to complete on tattoo
1.10.2008
like totally for sure.
Lets talk celebrity news (and real news, I guess), shall we. Not so spicey. So, the Spice Girls are on tour over in the magical land across the pond. They are rocking thier hits from the 90s on stage, and Posh Spice's boob pops out. Well, it would have if Melanie B didnt save her at the last minute. And to that I say" f*ck you Scary Spice." Mind your business. Useless acts of 2008....award goes to Melanie B. Listen Melanie...if god predetermined that a nip slip was instore, who are you to get in the way. This is like that time when you got knocked up by Eddie Murphy and then caused all of the US entertainment papers to bring your name up after like 5 years. Useless. And personally, I adore the Spice girls. They just need to know the rules of the road. Instead of this lame "helping a sista out" photo that is up here...we could have enjoyed a little British celeb nip slip. This, would finally put the rumors about Victora Beckham being a life size barbie robot to rest. Girl power is NOT always a good thing. Melanie...you are on my sh*t list.
In other private parts celeb news...Peter Wentz of the band Fall Out Boys has some photos that have leaked to the world wide web of his private parts (his boys did indeed fall out, lol). Camera phone pics no less. Apparently, he sent pics of himself...parts exposed, to a girl via picture texting and the girl then forwarded it on to..well, the entire world. The funny thing about all of this is that it plays perfectly into my cardinal rules: 1-Picture texting is an invention of the devil, meant to embarrass and crush your spirit, 2-dont allow other people to have full access to your nakey private picture (not saying that this has ever happened to me, but yeah...dont do it) 3-Always wear boxer briefs (show you package...without showing you package. ) Any way...PR stunt or real (unfortunately, I think real), the pictures are revealing, but not that exciting to all those who...you know...have their own Penis. And hey, life lesson...either don't trust your erections into other peoples hands (or do) or eliminate the picture text feature from your phone plan all together. I did the later, and my erection to this day cannot be googled (I just tried).
Holmes, not so Homely. Now, I never had a thing for Katie Holmes. When she was on Dawson's Creak, she was a boy. When she was in Batman Returns, she was boy in heels. Infact...I was never really part of her fan club in general. But this picture to the right proclaims that she is, indeed turning into a hottie. Some say she is c
opy catting her best pal Posh spice, but who really cares. 1. I am surprised that she even has the ability to look this hot and put together. 2. That Tom let her out of the cellar (cause I am pretty sure that is were she stays, for removal of spirits and stuff...cause you know she has alot of Scientology slack to make up, to get to Tom's status...the baby making probably set her back a few points) 3. That Bionic woman Beckham even considers Katie worthy enough to hang with. If looking hot does indeed rub off on people...Victoria needs to sell her sh*t in a can through QVC. There are a few...alot of people I know that need a gallon or so of it. And, I just threw this thing in of that grl from that show in MTV that thinks she is famous. Click on the image...her boobs are large and in charge. As I use to say back in the day..."She got some tig ole Bittys!"
opy catting her best pal Posh spice, but who really cares. 1. I am surprised that she even has the ability to look this hot and put together. 2. That Tom let her out of the cellar (cause I am pretty sure that is were she stays, for removal of spirits and stuff...cause you know she has alot of Scientology slack to make up, to get to Tom's status...the baby making probably set her back a few points) 3. That Bionic woman Beckham even considers Katie worthy enough to hang with. If looking hot does indeed rub off on people...Victoria needs to sell her sh*t in a can through QVC. There are a few...alot of people I know that need a gallon or so of it. And, I just threw this thing in of that grl from that show in MTV that thinks she is famous. Click on the image...her boobs are large and in charge. As I use to say back in the day..."She got some tig ole Bittys!"
Yikes and yikes. There are 2 there because this one is scandalous. American Gladiators went untarnished for ummm....about 4 days. Turns out that Militia...one of the Gladiators, did gay porn in the past. Ahem. NBC countered by saying that he indeed participated in the industry, but he only took nude photography for a gay porn audience. I counter by saying..."Ha, ha, ha...what did you think was going to happen." If you ar enot sure who I am talking about, Alex Castro is the man. And this kind of sucks for him, because viewership is bound to decline. All of middle America are homophobes. But we need to look at this in a positive light. Gays are now flipping the script. They are now f*cking people (straight guys) up, instead of vice versa. I wouldn't be surprised if other tv star porn careers start popping up...like Hurly from LOST or Tom from "Tom & Jerry." I think we should all take this as a lesson. If you want to be someone important in life...you may not want to do gay porn. It always creeps back up on you. From the back, of coarse...strapped in leather, with a tube of Vaseline.
OK...Im out of stuff. Catch you laters skaters. And feel free to comment. I need some self reassurance sometimes.
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