Little Jammy Jams.

I dont even like the concept of t-pain. Im pretty sure I can do what he does, but I like this. Makes me bob my head.



Another jam by Omarion, who I think will never have a deep meaningful song as he lives. Just hits.


Another multiple hit wonder.I cant hate though...well, I can, but then I wouldn't be able to dance to it. Like I even dance anymore....


The Roc BOyz in the building....new Jay Z single.....I bleed NY, no matter where I live. Believe this.

At the midway point of the Bottle.

This is a visual representation of what I felt and looked like all day today. And it is why I must follow my heart and part ways with a good old friend of mine.

After a fun house party that we threw for my roommate's bday. I was paralyzed for the day hoping that my life would end. And it is all 151's fault. Mistakes were made. Toilets were visited. I woke up with a bruised bleeding arm and a splinter in my finger. I was completely undressed, so I could've been raped and my roommates said I locked myself in their bathroom and decided to sleep on the comfortable tile floor. There are also pictures online, that I do not remember posing for. It's nothing like the party to-do list I created in my head.....and I didn't even get to do a keg stand.

But it did take an entire day for me to get it together. And while I wish I can say it was completely worth it, there are a bunch of other things I coulda been doing today....like establishing world peace (an on going project of mine), washing my comforter, or whitening my Air force ones.

151 and I use to be really good friends back in college, but now its seems we must cut all ties. Your kinda dangerous. And as I get older, I feel like we are on different life paths. I regret doing this, but I must cut the ties. Good luck in all your future endeavors.

Its been real.

Quote of the Day:

"Sometimes you have to let your friends know that they are constantly being judged, and their performance as a friend on any given day, could lead to them being cut loose."

-Flynn Murphy

Accepting Loses.

"All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts"

- William Shakespeare

(As You Like It)

Everyone you meet has a purpose. Some are meant to stay in you life and change it forever. And some are meant to leave without any influence at all. Then there are those, somewhere in the middle. Don't get confused; you cant always mend everything up. Don't fight life.

Just let it play out.

fabrical HYPO-thesis

Theory # 418

Consider this an educated guess.

Theory- Old Navy is encouraging America to be fat.

Support Points:
-I went into an old navy and tried on some shorts earlier this summer. Granted, I had lost some weight- but lord knows I DO NOT wear a 33 waist. I have never worn a 33 waist. Yesterday, I was forced to buy a Large sweat shirt, instead of my normal extra large.
- Old navy is like one of 2 stores that offers sizes like XXXX Large. I have never seen BR or Armani or Guess offer such sizes. And that is because they intrinsically enforce a thin frame (translation: they don't want fat people wearing their cloths.)

I hypothesize that; a. Old Navy is tricking their consumers into thinking they are smaller than they actually are. b. thus enforcing cofidence and a false sense of recognition c. there labeling themselves as the sole/leading cause for US obesity. They are like the loving parent who tells you you always look nice, or the blind person who loves you "as you are".


Facts: Old navy is only in the US. And the US ranks 9th in the list of fat countries in the world. The upper nine are islands (not real places with real eating habits). The US has approximately 127 million adults that are overweight, 60 million obese, and 9 million severely obese.



Suggestion: End the selling of fat people cloths...or if sold, only sell Moo Moos to men and woman alike. These Moo moos will act as a catalyst...hopefully causing a lay-off (due to inappropriate wrk wear), psychological trauma (like not wanting to go out to eat cause u look ridiculous) and many more fashion/life related situations of the same propensity.
The idea is to start change....and I suggest you start with OLD NAVY....then we can cut the "Big" out of Big and Tall and.......so on and so forth.


Final Statement: Cloths always make the man......but they shouldn't make the fat man. They should make the fat man look foolish.


Finis.

perpetual proximity

Inspired from another blogging friend of mine, who writes much better and is therefor more interesting than myself...If I were stuck on, lets say an island, and had to create a list of things that I would or wouldnt mind being 6 feet away from perpetually (its a very small island) for the rest of my life-eternity-, it would be as follows:


Good-
-twizzlers (family size)

-a copy of Details Magazine

-the giant ninja turtle toy I had in 3rd grade.

-Shea Butter Vaseline Lotion

-A pack of menthol Marlboro lights

- Anything from Target, with the receipt attached to remind me of my savings

-a two -sided cassette tape containing Remember the Time- Michael Jackson on one side, and on the other, The Electric Slide

- my highschool class ring circa 2001-2

- A pair of pumas w/ velcro straps

-mary Poppins, on dvd

- a GAP whilst having a BIG SALE! (banners and all)

- A poster of Brad Pitt (no homo)


Bad(like these are my definitions hell)-
-revolving doors

- little polo man embroidered pants and pastel shorts that end far above the knee

-this kid I hate from college....Aaron Thomas

-an Irish bar

-Hillary Duff

-Steamed Cabbage

- bad mac and cheese

- men in pink shirts

- a person with an ugly laugh (i mean, i would eventually stop talking to them)

-Jameson shots

- an over zealous sports fan, whose every conversation revolves around leagues




What's your list?
(i'm just being courteous, I dont really care.)

world of fame 2

Berry or two. So, i read an article that said Halle was is possession of twins. When I looked at the picture, well...the only twins I saw were the 2 up there bouncing around just inches front her chinny chin chin. I mean, with my dreams already shattered, it seems my heart has indeed moved on ever since she mailed back the eligible tube of baby makers I sent her- get this, with a note attached saying "Return to Sender, your sperm didnt have a chance." Weird right. I'm totally fertile. Anyway, her boobs have helped me get over the fact that she is switching lists from top hot celebs to hot celeb moms. That reminds me....JLo is in the midst of doing the same. Wait, maybe it was JLo who was having the twins. Nuts....I guess I'll I have to keep periodic tabs on 2 sets of boobs. My job is so dificil.

PS...the term "Motherly Glow" is given too much credit. I would think EVERYONE would rather have "A Hot Ass Person Glow"...no?

David Hasselhoff, your a drunk? I mean, I didn't know he had a drinking problem. In fact, I didn't know he was still alive. I didn't know he had kids and was in a custody suite due to alcoholism. I thought he live overseas. Turns out he is making Anaconda 3 as we speak. Interesting right?

To bad he is an utter mess. Ugh. At least we know he wont be drinking a driving. Cause Kit would never........

Still Alive. So get this guys and gals. Fred Durst is still alive. Like, I had forgotten he existed as like...you know, a human being. And check it out, he looks less tool baggish, and more.....like, well, like a Dad. Sure, maybe he resembles a creepy dad that fondles his kids, drinks 2% milk and then worships Satan in the attic. I mean, maybe this isn't as exciting for you, but I TRULY did not know where this man was. Turns out, he has been moonlighting as a serial killer.

Other celebs on my list to find...Black Rob. Tina Turner (she may have died...maybe?) and "Cross" from Criss Cross.

I Love NY 2. Lets all be honest here. I think...NY will end up with the back flipping small man. Midget Mac. I would run down the list of every other guy...who for some reason or another has interest in NY. But I feel there are only a few worthy of mentioning (like It), but all my money is on Midget Mac, man.

I mean, the rest...eh. Oh, a part of me wants her to end up with a person her size, but wouldn't it just be soooo funny if after 4 seasons (years) of trying to find someone-via reality specials, which as in genius as they are, don't really equal "real"- she finally finds the one whole total and complete man for her.....in a 3 ft tall midget. HA HA. That's right, I am laughing....midgets are funny. And midgets with grown people...even funnier.

I PROMISE you...there will be more blogs about this show. It WILL consume me. For better of worse. Its like watching a gigantic chest pimple being popped and the pus pouring out like mayo.

Too Much? Cause I did see that, last night, on you tube...thanks to my roommate.

Thant's all for now.....drunks, midgets and feti...........

Tada!

African American Potato, Pot"ah"to

Theory # 344

Theory: The Caucasian race (and I am not being racist, just stating and observation)has a deficiency in being able to tell African Americans apart. It is common that one black male is mistaken for another, merely on skin color alone. The sad past is, it is purely a mistake( and I see this man).

Supporting fact: 1- racial profiling exists hardcore, 2-*the fact that i have been working here for several months and people still call me by the old Office services guy's names (and I've sen pics of the previous guy-nothing in common) 3- I just met a man coming to see my boss for the first time and he started talking about getting some photos to me, that he promised some while back :/-"I don't know you man" and I'm positive that you couldn't state my name or the name of my predecessor4. The common joke.. said or referenced to by both parties "They can't tell the difference between you" is used often.

Inversely: It is impossible for black America to do this. Socially IMPOSSIBLE.


Clause(s):
- Race and color is a predominate factor in identifying people...especially in the "melting pot" that is America.
- People identify with their race and succumb to its idiosyncrasies and stereotypes on a daily basis(sometimes to a flaw). With this fact, the "grouping" is set into motion. Extreme: Starting of sentences with the term "They". Smaller: Simply inability to understand cultural preferences...like the use of Du Rags and the concept of 3 hours church services.
-History also dictates/ed the stratification of social classes....barriers of understanding and truly getting know an individual culture, but accepting and allowing thriving stereotypes and broad and shallow understanding.
-With this cultural divide and shallow understanding of other races/cultures and creeds...identity is lost. When you add in the hierarchy of American social class, there is no need or want to get to know some ones identify....faces as lost and skin color is given the "power"

Take into account:
1. This theory probably applies less to the younger generations. As time goes on gentrification increases
2. With all those black basket ball players and track stars...its probably hard to keep track..lol (ignore my ignorance)
3. Blind people probably are not effect by this theory and should not be held accountable. In fact they should love everyone.

Overall Outcome: Ignorance is so not bliss. And, if your not sure you know someone...you probably don't.

october lights.

just an update, for all you lovelies who care about me. This is a long one.

Declaration of dependence. So, I had a tough summer. I was really stressed and I think a little depressed at times. I had alot going on and it all softened me up. I was looking back at my blogs...on the other social network...and it sounded as if I was going to slit my wrist...complaint after complaint. I guess this is my formal apology- except I don't apologize on my own blog so.....
But, I'm writing to say I'm all over that melodrama. I'm going back to the old shaun. Sometimes an asshole, sometimes a bum....but always BADASS.

I'm goin back to the "don't give a f*ck" days.


New bedding system. So, I just upgraded to a full size bed. Yep, I've been in chi-town for a yr, and just got a grown up bed. And...well, I'm not sure what to do with it. I stay waking up with a whole half bed unused. How do I go about acclimating. I mean, I sure as hell aint sharing, the only other thing that rummages around in my covers is my left hand (ewwww, shaun is so gross).
Anyway, now that I'm a grown up...I need to learn how to use all of my bed. Def still in college mode. Whap whap. I feel as if I'm doing my sleeping body a disservice.


Lonely. I had this crazy dream the other night. It involved a friend, tears and the police. The friend i told it to analyzed it as "me being lonely." Granted, she is not a dreamologist, but should I be worried? Eh, just thought I'd bring it up.

Wild man. So about operation beard and fro. Just so that we are all on the same page, I am growing my hair out as well as producing a mean beard. I was told that both are out of fashion...like 70's porn star meets Kid and Play- out of style. to them I say NAY, sir NAY.....here is what I hope to accomplish.




the hair of "black csi guy" and the beard of andre agassi. Let's do it. All i have to say, is think continuous itching and tons of grease, on a hair schedule. Sexy, neosoul tennis player.



TV& Films. Lets get a Hoorah for American Gangster and Across the Universe. I NEED to see both of these in the theater. Unfortunately, all of my roommates are way to picky about what they go to the movies to see. I think in 9 months, I've went to the movies with my roommate Matt like 3 times. And I only wanted to see one of the movies. Kelly likes to act like he wants to go to the movies, but never commits./ Kid Nation- what started out as the ridiculous antics of kids, is now a big bore.Cant wait until Lil Billy put his pee pee in 2 year old Sussie...that will spice things up a bit./Prison break- my roomate has me watching this lame ass show, but unfortunately, I'm kinda into it now./ Heros- always relatively entertaining for Monday TV./ Real World- cant wait till tomorrows episode. I hope Parissa gets that girl good And someone needs to get Cuhutta's country ass off the show.Everytime he speaks, my head literally explodes./ I don't feel like I'm far enough into top model to commenton anything just yet./HBO's Tell Me You Love Me had a hole lotta sex in the first 2 episodes...just to suck you into the drama filled plot-bastards better be glad I love drama.


And, I guess that's all. Chicago has decided to cool off, after it killed a few people and then realized that it was October and should infact be cold. "Oh yeah. Its usually chilly right now...cause winter is coming." (thats chicago speaking, if you didn't know). The roommates are doing well. They all decided to temp...like yours truly. I'm finishing up my portfolio. The sky is still up, and the ground is still down. My cousins were in NY yesterday, and I was a little jealous that I was stuck here in Illinois.

Well, if I've sufficiently bored you into a cleverly written word induced comma. Wake the fuck up and do a line...cause there is another one coming soon bitches.

That is all. Except....whap whap to Brittany Spears new video. After you wasted 4 minutes of my life, I officially support all of the negative things that are happening to you. How many times are you going to spin around the freaking pole? She was better at the VMAs (brought to you by dancing blind Walrus entertainment).




Word(s) of the Week:
"You are in charge of how people make you feel. You and only you." - Sam

Robin Thicke. U Center Me.

ignore the silly video. Just listen.

Ugly Power.

Theory# 244


Ugly people are more likely to be in charge, than attractive people.


Clause 1- Ugly people spend less time socializing, and therefore have more time to "mold their careers"/work their asses off. Less late night partying=better work ethic and in work productivity = moving through the ranks.



Clause 2- The better lookin people have more friends, naturally. And hence...less time to better themselves.


Clause 3- Unattractive people usually know they are just that, and save and invest their money into like.....worthy things. Attractive people must dress and be the part of "being attractive"...there is alot of extra expense that need to be embraced.



All of this put together, give the "uglies" a better overall natural advantage. Not to say that attractive people dont get far....but, there is a significant "head start".


Obvious Falacies to take into account:

1- Inheritance

2- Industry--like the modeling industry...everyone is probably semi attractive.

3- Age- some people dont age well, and dinosaur bosses now, coulda been hot tamales in the past
4- Sleeping your way to the top is a common scenario---usually exhibited by women---the funny thing is that if an "ugly" were to do it, they rarely get anywhere, but attractive people always get what they want. So is the world.




Final Statement: I'd rather be attractive that Ugly any week of the month....

indian, dot dot or indian, head dress.

so yesterday was Columbus Day. Yay. Coincidentally, the day before, I watched a serious 3hr docu-movie about the downfall/slow entrapment of the American Indian.

I jokingly wrote a bulletin, on that other web site saying that we should all celebrate our forefathers by "putting down an Indian today."

it was a moderately successful joke. It received a few responses, some good, some bad. But that is the way the cookie crumbles. (ever wonder where that expression comes from? Who had a cookie, and realized the many different ways it could crumble?)

Anyway. So, in light of my dead ipod, I have been becoming a morning commute book reader. And this man was talking behind me. Really loudly about his Panasonic walkman that we bought for $36, and how it had lasted for years. Meanwhile, he is clearly using the thing (its blasting 80s music) and I can tell by the tone of his voice that he is talking to no one in particular. I mean, it had a hint of crazy in it. And it was 7 am, and Chicagoans aren't exactly the most friendly of people in the morning- his convo was completely one sided...and by that, I mean no one was talking back to him.



At first, the concept was funny. Either he was talking to no one in particular about nothing, in a crowded train. Or, he found some poor soul, who was probably politely nodding and he tricked them into a full out one sided convo.

And it was amusing until he didn't stop. And then (since I cant read when people are talking to loudly and it was 7:10-10 full minutes of crazy talk) I wanted to slaughter him. Literally.

When he said his good byes- which no one responded to- I glanced out the window, and I saw an old ass man, in slimfit black jeans, with a plaid shirt and khaki army-like vest...and he was Native American.

Coincidental....? I think not.

So, I figure...I have now until Thanksgiving to see if I can take down an indian a day. But, like...not a cover your face indian, just a plain ole...rain dance indian.

tyra moments.

why?.....why not?

Trya is always saying that she wants to be the next Oprah right? Well...to that i am saying, the key word is "quality."


Why? why? why? why? why? Why couldn't you get them regular ipods. Why shuffles? Are you making a sly subliminal remark...or is your show too cheap? Quality.




Really? Is that the best you got? Peeing tips?


But your a model. I mean..that's the only reason you have a show. And...well, you have been hitting the twinky aisle a little hard lately. And, you got some extra meat. So....yeah, your fat.
BTW, she ended that rant with "kiss my fat ass." And I would...if I could get pass the eighthead.


And this is to show that she isn't the brightest crayon in the box. Sitting 101.



And this is simply is not up to Oprah standards.


and we will through this one in there from her other show....

Temper, temper Tyranasauraus Banks..




All in all...she's an idiot. She shoulda never retired.
But I Love her.

world of fame.

Everyone who knows me, comprehends the enduring love and support I have for JLo and all her endeavors. I've been there though all her miniseries of lovey dovey movies, albums (sans the Spanish ones, not meant for me) and even the career flops such as Gili, Angel eyes and getting married to the crack baby.

But this I cannot support (whole heartedly). It's like a prom dress gone wrong. Or an acid trip dipped in disco inferno and strirred in the grips of hell's Queer Eye for a Sraight Guy. Indeed burn baby burn....of my retinas. And as much as I would love to see this body fully unclothed, every time I look at this photos I can imagine the crack baby saying ,"Mami, you look muy bonita...like a taco wrapped in South American dreams."

I mean, becoming mainstream in Spanish speaking countries should be less mortifying and more...well, sexy. P. Diddy would have never let her get on stage like this. Whap whap.

In other news Alicia Keys is dropping another album...starting with her new single "No One."

Awesome song...to which after viewing the video, I thought immediately....no one could pull off the horrible side, french, ponytail braid thingy you have at the end, but you Alicia...No Onnneee..

So Brit lost her children. Looks like it's no longer Her Against the Music. Turns out she was too Toxic to hold on to them. She followed her Prerogative and kept getting f*cked up every night after she had kids. Almost dropped the Boys a few times. Sometimes she let the 2-yr old drive the car, which is Crazy. And now, the court system did Do Something. The gave the kids to K-fed....how UnLucky and Outrageous. Looks like in the future...she will have to be Stronger. And lets all hope that as far as kids are concerned, she'll never have to say "Oops I did it Again"
And by the way I'm a Slave for You.

**Did you see what I did there? Using her song titles to describe her current life circumstances. But seriously, I think they should give all the kids to Moesha's friend, cause KFed is clearly NOT the next logical choice. They might as well of given the kids to the dancing hippo that lives in my head. What? Wait, I don't really care what happens.





Cat Woman is having a baby. (Check that link out a time or two, would ya). I would just like to say Halle Berry has been in the top 5 of my 10 hottest women list since its creation in 98'. And when I heard of her pregnancy... a tear ran down my cheek. And then down my chiseled 8-pack. Ahem.....and I'm uber (yes uber) jealous of that white guy who got to plant his seed in my top 5. I mean...I'm model material. She coulda had my bi-racial kids........ cause lord knows I would give up my "blackness" in a second just to go to dinner with halle, let alone have her condomize me. LoL.
With this said...her are my top 10 celebrity crushes....judge me if you will.
1- JLo- I know she is having a baby aswell, but crackbabies dont count, she is still #1
2-Jessica Alba
3-Adreana Lima- exotic hot, but could never talk to her with that silly accent
4-Gabriel Union- "She's the Queeeen to Beeeeeee......."
5- Halle Berry
6-Megan Fox- Hello Transformers!
7-Thandi Newton
8- Kristina - (Stina from Janice Dickersons Modeling show )-Wifey Material
9-Alicia Keys- she fluctuates b/t 5 and 10, depending on her ghettoness at the time
10-Lauren Hill- Like from Sister Act 2, lord knows what she looks like now




that's all for now......remember, gossip is your friend.

One of a Kind.

This is a map of the african american population (in RED) in respect to where they live in Chicago. Notice the pattern.....south....west. And that is about it.

Oh...oh wait. What is that spec far far north. Oh, its me. The only black kid in north chicago.

Just thought I'd share.

And Ode to Summer

Dear summer, How I will miss thee, let me count the ways.

I will miss your endless beach like days of constant beaming heat and staggeringly thick humidity. How I had to swim down the block to work at 7am. For allowing us to show our legs....no matter how many veins they possess or how many flabs you can count. Making oceans and pools the only place of substance to meet. I will miss squinting just to get a glance, of that was fun. Unless of coarse you are adorned with overtly huge sunglasses.

I will miss how you transformed my cool hipster short sleeve T's , into sweat rags. And how I caught phenomena everyday as I transferred from atmosphere to atmosphere. Oh, how I will miss your ability to deem fans pointless and the running of electricity to power my non existent AC possible. Cause I love that bill hike.

Oh summer, this is my ode to you.... get the fuck out of here you c*nt. One.

Cant wait till next year.