So...read on.
Holiday Joke.
What type of music do elves listen to? Gift Rap Music.
These is the joke that made me chuckle out loud, whilst I rode the holiday train. "What is the holiday train?" you may ask. Well, if you are a Chicagoan, you know that every year around this time, the CTA designates several trains for a holiday make over. Seats are upholstered in santa faces and snow flakes. The windows are frosted to depict a winter wonderland. Poles become candy Cains. And elves walk around giving out real candy. Even the horrid public trans ads are replaced with clever Christmas related ones like, "Comet Bowling Lanes" or "Santa Hello Wanted Ads." And though it seems, oh so childish....after a crap day doing crap work...I literally hoped on the wrong train just to experience this winter delight. And....it was completely worth the extra 10 blocks I had to walk home. And there was no silly kids around (rush hour) or homeless people (who tend to be inclined to ruin train rides). I mean...I'm not really all that into Christmas this year, but this made me smile.
Then as I was waiting on line to get off the platform, low an behold...Santa (in person) replacing an entire freakin train cart...was waving at me (specifically) as he sat in his sled surround by others in garb...maybe the Apostles or Athena or something. And in that wonderful Christmas moment all I could think was, "I wonder how much he gets paid for that gig."
That's Phat. But what we really need is Fat. Kelly, my roommate along with myself are holding open auditions for fat people to add to our social circle. Why? Because we think that every worthy group of social hierarchy has one fat friend. The jolly one, who is down for anything...and delivers one lines like "Yeah you got that" and "I'm hungry" to which we can tell him that he is always hungry(insert drumroll here). He would also, always be nice...because you know..he is fat. And there is that looming truth that all fat people need be the funniest people in the world. Think of any highschool football movie you have ever watched in your life. We want that guy.
It would complete the circle:
Me: Token black guy (to the point that if there is another black man in the room, I plan his untimely death)
Kelly: The good kid with bad luck
Kellen: Country Bumpkin
Matt: Pissed Off Kid, with an over bite
And then the friendship circle was complete, with the finding of our future Bubba or Tank or Little _____. I'm excited.
Dilemma. This year will be my first year...in my life, that I will not be at home, with my parental bringing in the New Year in church. From 11pm to 12:10, I am usually in God's good place, listening to the good word. That means, yes...I have never experienced the countdown, no...I have never kissed anyone on New years....and yes, I have no clue what to do in preparation for this eve thing.
I feel like I am going to end up home alone. And by home, I mean in Chicago. Not even home, home. Someone help me out here...I'm poor...I'm unmotivated and...I need an alibi to make me look cool, or something....Ayudame.
Ok, I'm done. I actually have alot of work to do.
And after work. Gotta work out (yep, you heard right), gotta stop by a b-day party. Co-hosting and Ugly Christmas Sweater party tonight. Then tomorrow, I gotta try to get my xmas shopping out of the way and pick up gifts for this Sant'as Helpers program I'm participating in (Shaun love the kids). Then I gotta get back on the ad making wagon....otherwise its a progressive downhill slop to doing what I do now, for the rest of my life. Whap whap.
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