that's a (denim) negative.

baggy tight jeans?

They were tight in the 80's, then baggy in the 90's and now its all about the fitted. The evolution of jeans is a toss up for the most part. But urban wear is beginning to take on a new look. Baggy tight. And its ALL wrong. And scary. And creepy. And...wrong.

What do you think? 

If you are from the south...please don't bother to answer. Y'all are so backwards, your fashion opinions are about as worthy as my imaginary dog's poop. Nonexistent...OHHHH!

daddy's little girl.

I really want to post this...but my taste (what little I have) prohibits it. 

But it does not prohibit me from linking to it. This is complete and utter proof that you (whoevers spermlet this is) failed completely as a father figure.

ASS-effects or Asiphex.

WEEKEND BLOG!!!!!! You know its serious if Im blogging on the weekend. And by serious, I mean...Im not recovering from a raging hangover/Sunday commercial ridden TV movies haven't taken over my entire day. Any way, take note...when you create a brand name...try to make sure it doesn't sound like something else.

Unless of course, you are doing it on purpose. Why do I feel like Im watching Austin Powers 3? But its not the 90s and Beyonce's fine non-acting ass isnt in it . I want my money back.

payback weekend.

You know what day it is....May 2nd. IRON MAN is out in the theaters and Im gonna see it. Immeadiatly. And it will be the highlight of my year sofar. It will be my 2008 payback.

::signal start song::


::signal start old school James Brown dance::

Annnnnnnddddddd, Im out. Have a good one. Stay safe. Imma get me a bottle of Henny, and watch some LOST. HOLLER.

the core to friendship.

Theory #564

I have a new theory....bear with me. Its been awhile since I have written my mind fart theories onto the pages of my blog for consideration and ultimate agreeance.

Hypothesis: I think all groups of friends are made up of the same types of people.

Facts: Groups of friends are all the same. Sure, they differ in individual personalities, race, religion and theme...but for the most part they can be label into 4 different types of persons. These persons come together to create the ultimate posse.

1. The Leader: In every group of friends there is always one person that makes the decisions. Whether they state their wants and needs and everyone then complies or their company is truly enjoyed and valued enough to make people plan around them. They may not even have leadership qualities, but they are the glue that holds the group together. If other (3) types are hanging out without "the leader"(depending on the group, this might not even occur) ...their name is sure to be topic of conversation at least once. Or the person is referenced or contact for hang-out confirmation.

2. The Entertainer: Look for the loud, funny, relatively entertaining person. He/she very may be the most outgoing of the group, but the things is...they are only the shiz-nit in the group. They may be the shiz-nit for multiple reasons....they may be a "one-of a kind" or "too REAL (always speak whats on their mind)" or just a practical joker. Within seconds, you can find "the entertainer." You don't need them to fill in the gap. But if there is a silent pause in the conversation. They will fill it. Somehow......

3. The Straight Edge: Every true group of friends needs a straight edge. They are the person in the group you look to to make sure they are having a good time when you all go out. They will f*ck up your good time with their opinions, moods and/or both. But you love that about them. It's simple really. They are so straight laced...its hurts. But it hurts so good.

4. The Extra: Every group needs an extra. He/she never starts the conversation, but always weighs in his/her opinion once its been flushed out and laid on the table. They don't choose where the group is going, but they voice in ideas and such. They are usually the odd man out (ie The fat friend, the single friend....) but that's not a definite. They bring nothing extra to the group really, but their presence seems valued by the others. They are usually the one the receives all of the secrets of the group and while some would call them a "follower", they refer to themselves as quiet leaders.

**It is very important to note that ALL friendship groups consist of no more or less of the number 4. Anything below...you are a group of losers posing as a posse . Anything above 4...someone is a tag along. They may be a good tag along. But they are not permanent. The funny thing is...tag alongs are really spies trying to get into the group. If someone were to slack on their position and their responsibilities, they can be replaced my the well-educated tag-o-long.

Variables:

- roommate situations: there is a thin line between roommates and friends. This area has yet to be discovered, but "types" , "quantities" and behaviors are currently and thoroughly being looked into. It is very likely that roommates and the 4 friend posse go hand in hand...

-gangs (urban click's): who the hell knows.

-long distant friends posse: its tough, but when a posse is broken up by distance...a a game of phone line occurs, where the "leader" keeps intouch with everyone...and the "extra" is often replaced. Also, the making of new friends/associates takes place. And that is a whole nother theory in and of itself.

-mixed gender posse: Someone will eventually f*ck or start a relationship and f*ck the whole thing up. A group of friends (8 or more) can make this happen...but as you break the group up into posses, they should be uni gendered....or someone will get hurt.

That's all....I'm done. Go get some friends you losers.

Chess for Dumb People.

Apparently rap legend wanna-be Kanye West is really good at playing connect four. So good infact that he challenged grown child actor, Johan Star to a quick game. And Jonah at the end pulled the same move that every person in America has done at one point when their color chips dont do the connecting thing they are suppose to. Kanye...well, Kanye is just being Kanye, as usual. ::shoot myself in the head::

Interesting? Perhaps not. But random? BINGO.

Man....I could go for some Bingo right about now. Bingo and a glass of Henny on the rocks (keepin it Hood).

ch-ch-ch-changes.

(Real world Joey...having a cry::alchy::)

I'm feeling the chill. Lately no one has been commenting on my posts. Is it because I changed the look and feel of the blog without consulting? Is it because Barbara Walters use to be in a a hot interracial relation ship, and your still in shock? Is it because I haven't discussed this weeks real world episode, and the crying Joey? It it because Madonna put out yet another album? Or is it...just that time of the month?

Well.....to bad/ Things change. Deal with the new bog layout. You will grow to love it.

Promise. Luv Ya....

ads, for woman-from man.

Face it, it's funny. Sure...its pretty obvious that a woman didnt come with in 10 ft of making this PMS ad...but it's def hella funny. Ladies? Would you buy this?

Panadol.
Ogilvy & Mather Singapore

sucking on my....

ninjas...

its true. i saw them.

dumb ass antics.

David Blaine stayed under water for like 17 minutes the other day on the Oprah show. Why? Just cause.

BTW, our guest from out of town this weekend was David Blaine's assistant. Infact, when we were at that "gay bar" i mentioned a few posts ago, David descended from the ceiling from thin air. All, on beat. Kidding. But the kid really did work for him. Meaning, Im famous.



Oprah: "Things are happening like what?"
Dr Guy: He is in survival mood
Shaun: He is dieing.

In other celeb antics....Gary Coleman took his "wife" on divorce court. Classy. John Mayer becomes gayer, writing about his gay idea on his lame ass gay blog. And Rob Lowe's wife uses the "N" word...allegedly.

oh wow, ads.

somewhere in Thailand a creative team is high fiving each other at thier sheer cleverness to "brand" child abuse.
I however, am throwing up in my cubicle waste basket.

Another "execution" here. I dunno, I feel like there has to be a better way to relate the same message without the cartoon oral and anal sex brands. Ughhhh.

Ode to the Warrior Princess.

I was shocked and appalled when my roommate last night inferred that "no one" watched the 1995 action sitcom Xena. It just made no sense in my mind. Come one! This show was pivitol to my growing up. I remember watching Hercules religiously...and then they (the WB) did a spin off and my mind exploded every Saturday with 2 hours of pure fictional action.

I mean...the Xena scream when she was about to attack the sh*t out of people (used on more than one account during a fight, and surprisingly I always won). The flips, the kicks...her round blade thingy that she always caught but never cut herself on. Her feeble side kick turned semi-bad ass lesbian lover, Gabriel. Ares...the God of war who always messing things up for her intentionally, but loved her at the same time. The big boobyed Aphrodite. And most of all...Callisto, her arch nemesis. Callisto was the first crazy bad guy I can remember. So...bad ass.

Sure...the graphics are horrible and the fight scenes look absolutely and completely choreographed to today's standards. But the series went on forever(perhaps too long). I remember when they started touching in Christendom...and Xena had gotten crucified...yep, perhap it went on for too long. But this is like the drama of all dramas-probably where my addiction first started.

Guys...please tell me its not true and that you all experienced this mammoth of a tv event. The original the one and only....Xena:Warrior Princess.

90's tv I "heart" you. 123.

face book in real life.

this woulda been ten times funnier if the Brits weren't doing it. Fact.



P.S. New rule....people over 30 should not be using thefacebook. Sorry...your creepy and kinda sad for it.

lesbian lesbians.

it was my understanding that all lesbians came from the greek island of Lesbos. Or atleast it was some crazy lesbian vacation spot riddled with hot double D (breast sizes) fem lesbians that took shots of tequila off of each others stomachs all day and night. Alas, I was wrong.

Apparently, they are just normal people like you and I. But the coincidence of being called a Lesbian (person from Lesobos) and being a Lesbian (girl on girl action...or scissoring as my romantic roommates call it) is bringing the small country to a state of uproar. A few islanders are demanding that the Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece remove “Lesbian” from its title.

An outrage. The gay community will soon be out of names. Wait a minute....are they saying that there are no lesbians on that island of Lesbos? Imagine being a Lesbian that's a Lesbian. Wait...what the difference again? Are Melissa Etheridge and The Indigo Girls Greek?



More importantly. What will happen to the site lesbos.com?