Misfortune Cookies.

Hell of New Zealand is a pizza company in...New Zealand, I guess. But they like to do fun things. I'm not sure how Fortune cookies tie in with pizza, but I am willing to overlook that little fact for the chance to get the "Help! I am being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery" misfortune.

VIA copyranter

The Linkdown.

1. Subway Etiquette...in the NYC particularly.

2. Stock Traders watching porn while the US economy tanks? Shocking? To me...no. I've actually seen it happen.

3. Amazing Grace spots.

4. John Stewart goes in on the NY Muslim Group that threatened that REALLY FUNNY episode of South Park.

5. The KFC double down...pshaw, that's for the inexperienced.

6. Big Boobies are more offensive that small bobbies on prime time. Clearly ABC is ran by skinny bitches hatin on dem hoes.

7. NYC made out of staples.

8. The Twilight Series is apparently written at a 3rd Grade reading level. Lower than the NY Post....

9. If you wear this...you are a swinger. Get it?

This is what I just did.

A half an hour ago. Review to come!

Frat Boys love BK.

I've had this love hate relationship with The King for many years. And this is why. When he/it finally start to win me over with silly but semi effective ads....he does stuff like this. Fratty-frat boy, unfunny spots.

VIA adfreak

365 Black.

Have you guys heard about 365 Black? McDonald new attempt to celebrate the being of African Americans. I am just discovering it with the help of SteelCloset. Cas, one of there writers there talks about a "lack of tact." Well...to put it simply, I'm offended. I am well aware that McDonalds has a minority agency (if not multiple) that does some hardcore minority focused work. I gave them a pass for the ridiculousness that was the R&B Themed 10 Piece Nugget spot. I actually laughed with them. I looked the other way for the double fist pump. I said to myself, "If they think this is the way to Market to Minorities...good luck to them." But this 365 Black initiative rocks the boat a little too much in my opinion. Is that really Keith Sweat talking about sharing his love of Chicken McNuggets? Is the love of Chicken McNuggets what you mean when you say, We Are Deeply Rooted In the Community? Who cares if Laurie Anne Gibson, a dancer from a reality know best for sayin "BOOM-BOOM-CAT" and being fired by Diddy, worked at McDonalds?   

"WHAT IS 365BLACK?

At McDonald's®, we believe that African-American culture and achievement should be celebrated 365 days a year — not just during Black History Month. That's the idea behind 365Black.com. It's a place where you can learn more about education, employment, career advancement and entrepreneurship opportunities, and meet real people whose lives have been touched by McDonald's. Plus, you can also have a chance to win exciting once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. So make sure you visit often — you just might get inspired."

The ad above is a spoof. But this idea in general is a gross one and it upsets all of my sensibilities. And I have alot of those things. And no, my sensibilities are not rooted deeply in the community of Chicken McNugget lovin. 

Not Lovin It.

Today's person of the day is Latreasa Goodman from Florida. She called the cops on her local  McDolnalds. Why? Well, she had a taste for a 10 pieces mcnugget (deliciousness!!!). She paid her money. And then after, she was informed that there where no mcnuggets and was told that she could not get her money back. So what did she do? 

She called the cops. 

Latreasa to the 911 operator:

"This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one. This is an emergency, my McNuggets are an emergency."

True story. Needless to say this photo was from a previous arrest. 

Whap whap.

via smokingguns

Let's Celebrate.

While thousands of people are loosing their jobs, their dignity and their dreams due to the fat cat antics of a few greedy Wall Street punks and bankers, you must excuse me if I have not paid enough (or any)homage to Black History month. Especially when I am one of those thousands of sacrificial lambs. But it's important that you know that this is not the case everywhere else in the country: let's celebrate collard greens, pork hocks, and bologna.

Sad.

VIA gawker

Suck It Ads.

Let's get ready to rumble!!!! (but fyi Dominos...I know what two to one means).

VIA theconsumerist

Hat tip to Aoife

Minority McNugget Ad.

I know it's suppose to be a spoof of sorts, but what do you think they were hoping to accomplish with this R&B singing McNugget lover spot....? Just a question.

Burger Test (ending world hunger as we know it).

Crispin, Porter and Bogusky just deputed their new BK Whopper Virgin campaign. Apparently they went to all out and hired a well known producer or something, but in essence they made a "taste test" spot (very late 80s of them). The twist...taking a Big Mac and Whopper to the out skirts of the world: 1.) a rural farming village in Romania, 2.) a remote village in Thailand and 3.) to an outpost in Greenland and letting locals taste and judge. There is also some sort of count down to the results here at the micro site. 

The first thing that caught my attention in the spot I saw on TV (not the one above) is how ugly and beat up  they made the Big Mac look. Perception is key. Why would a remote villager pick the sloppy looking burger? Wouldn't you want 2 of the most perfect looking burgers so that judgment is not swayed by what I like to call "the first interview-dressed up" mistake. The second thing that came to mind is almost exactly what Jane said on her own blog, "If you have to go to the ends of civilization to find someone who likes your burger, you might be in the wrong business." I get the idea...they are puritans, unscathed by commercialism hence a great testing group. But who really cares? The third...if its a spot for burger king...why are you making it a timed anticipation campaign? I think we all could instinctively guess the results, which is why I stopped listening half way through the spot. Unless, the result is mad cow disease. That would be a twist.  

What I didn't think about was how offensive this campaign is. Sharon Akabas of the Institute of Human Nutrition at Columbia University said, "What's next? Are we going to start taking guns out to some of these remote places and ask them which one they like better?" Hmmmm, a little off target, but there is something sketchy about forcing our enlightened Western culture upon these rural populations (aka driving our gas guzzling Hummers filled with film crews and fast food and consumerism, smashing and selling everything in our way). It's kinda like that movie Fern Gully, minus the catchy songs and the druggy cartoon bat. Like Jane said so eloquently..."Why is it that WASPy white people are always the first to get offend on the behalf of other people? That to me is more offensive, because the poor uncivilised farmer is too stupid to be offended by this, so the educated and civilized white man will be offended on this behalf." Are you guys offended? I'm not. 

Lastly to the copy point above, taken from the site :"If you want a real opinion about a burger, ask someone who doesn't even have a word for burger." My question to you Burger King (a rebuttal if you will) is....do they-the someones- have words for a piece of cooked meat in between two pieces of bread? Let's say it slowly....MEEEAAAAATTTTT....BREEAAAAAAD. Cause that's all the Whopper is....if that...

Stab.

Im (He) is Loving it.

Meet John Lennon....no, I meant Don Gorske. He loves Mc Donalds. I think Its about time they kick Ronald to the curb. Make room for the new king.