An Excerpt from Selling Death in Thirty Days.

Death interrupts a creative director on his lunch hour. Said creative director is non-too pleased:

ED (ACD)

You're death?

MR. X

If you need a name.

ED

I can't die. I really don't have time for this actually.

MR. X

You can’t refuse.

ED

No, but I can make you a better offer.

MR. X

One can’t bargain these things.

ED

Your brand sucks.

MR. X

Brand? I’m not a brand. I’m a reality.

I’m the most profound of realities, I’ve

been here since the beginning of time —

ED

-- You’re a has been. Yesterdays news.

A dying brand.

Mr. X

Funny.

ED

Life. Life is all everyone cares about. And everyday

we live longer. And longer. It’s a matter of time before science

catches up to you. You have no unique selling proposition.

Mr. X

I have inevitability.

ED (out of breath)

There’s always something newer, better, shinier with fancy

technology. Even now, there’s vaccines. And cloning. And

Whole Foods. Your shelf life is almost up.

MR. X

Death doesn’t end.

ED

No it just dwindles. And becomes obsolete.

MR. X

I’m listening…

ED

You can’t beat life. Unless people can be convinced to

seek you out. To want death.

MR X

Why would people want death? No one every wants

to see me.

ED

But they do. I sell death everyday. Think about it.

High fructose corn syrup. Cigarettes, Look it says it on the box.

And they love it. I can make you big.

Mr. X

I like the sound of that.

And this is exactly what ACDs/CD do. talk you into some shit. Gotcha death.

via milaiswriting