10 Toys That Made You Gay

OMG to number 3 and 1. Lol.
I didnt have any of these toys as a kid. Phewwwwww (not that there is anything wrong with gay people). Those toys ARE pretty gay...you must admit.

new and improved.

90210. If you havnt heard...its making a comeback. I have to admit, I wasnt really a fan back in the day, but I did see an episode or two. And I know there are some people who are fanatics for the show. So, lets put them back to back and judge. Cause if anything...this blog is all about judging. No?

Old


New


Problem number 1...there is a black guy. There was no black guy in the first one. And as un-PC as it sounds...in some parts of the US, there just are no black people. But if we did pull together a crazed scenario, say...he moved there for Advertising school and then got stuck. And was living with 3 white roommates. Perhaps, that could work (oh wait, thats me). But the black kid would still need to be a little mal adjusted. He has to be like Murry, in Clueless. I think he is Dominican in real life though. "Rollin with the Homies."

Problem number 2...there are a few characters on there that have been in other tv shows before. And where as I am ok with movie stars switching roles film to film- TV folk need to stay put. When I see Matthew Fox in anything other than LOST, I wonder how Jack got off of the island to costar in a movie with Alicia Keys. In this case they have the hot blond slut from Nip Tuck. And she is one of those people who look like they are up to no good. So you know she will be the nemesis-which she was on the other show. The lines are blurring already.

Problem number 3....it looks like the OC. Lord knows we dont need more of that scripted California highschool drama. And isnt the show Gossip still on the CW? Remember that show Popular. And USA High. Do you see my point? It 2008...who cares? I don't have time text bullying and myspace drivin plots.

FART! Thats my opinion. But I will see the first episode.

Janet Jackson. So Much Better.

My joint right now....




a little jammy jam. Janet always packs an album with only 3 or 4 good songs. Last wholly good album was Velvet Rope. I guess All For You was pretty good too.

Eh...just sharing.

anti smoking or smoking ads.

Smoking does kill more. But buying a thousand cigarettes to make a "no smoking" spot...probably doesn't help as much as you think.

Drrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......

Verbal Abuse in Advertising.

Saatchi & Saatchi Singapore hits us with some literal translations on verbal abuse. Spousal no less. Wait...maybe "hits us" isnt the best way to approach this blog. Ummm, belts us...beats us...uhhhh, bellows...yeah bellows.

As a kid, I use to think that my mom verbally abused me. Now, I realize I was overreacting...she was probably right....I didnt need anymore cookies before bed.

But hey...the party isnt over yet. New Brazilian shop Gringo also has a hot mouth. And a potty breath. Or the other way around. Within 5 seconds of watching...I felt completely uncomfortable looking at this site. And Im all messed up in the head. Their tag: “Make it naughty or amoral. Or both!”
You do learn how to say naughty words in other languages....and thats pretty cool.

I wonder what thier clients will think? What do you think?

talking animals. soccer loving princes. and a midget playing an ancient midget.

There are only a few talking animals in History that I truly respect. Mr Ed for his smart witty retorts. Simba, for well...being the king. And lastly...Cooler from the pound puppies for being a truly courageous leader. Everyone else...falls short. So, when I sat down in my seat for yet another rendition of "these animals can talk / are you a Christian" aka Narnia: Prince Caspian you could only imagine what was going through my mind. Yet, I had to see it...b/c there was magic and stuff-my one weakness. But what I got, despite my belief, was quite stimulating.

I have a thing about movie audiences. Every city Ive lived in has a different type of audience. NYs are skeptical and hard to impress. Bostonians are rowdy idiots that talk to the screen and visually show their mental frustration. And Chicagoans...well, they are like children. They laugh when the movies says laugh. They clap when the movie says clap. Its all really kinda sad. But when I got pass the fact that I was surrounded by bumbling movie zombies, I was able to truly enjoy this fantasy flick about some Brits, the Portuguese, midgets and well....faith I guess.

The plot is based on a legend, when Narnia apparently doesn't exist anymore, and humans have wiped out the Narnians so badly that they are but a myth. That is until the young Prince Caspian escapes his treacherous Portuguese Uncle and calls upon the help of those four Brit kids that were in the first movie. Only 2 out of 4 can truly act, but I'll let you be the judge of which ones. As for the Portugese bad guys...my movie partner, Laila and I came to that conclusion after the Caspian Character said his first line and we looked as each other with the "what the f*ck did he just say" eyes. And I knew I would have to concentrate to under stand his dialect, so entrenched in passion and love of soccer (foot ball) that each word sounds as if it were in some cheesy soap opera. The little midget gnome was from Nip/Tuck ... which I think is marvelous. I hope he is around for the remake of the Wizard of Oz (obviously going to happen). There were talking badgers and mice and special effects up the wazoo. Even the trees were getting down. All very entertaining. It made the almost 3 hour movie literally fly bye.

And so, with the help of the Brits, Caspian fights his treacherous Uncle and his peeps. There are some pretty decent battle scenes and a good one on one sword match. But I have to ask Disney how exactly they were able to attain a PG13 rating. I mean...people/imaginary things were dieing and/or getting killed. When a head falls off of a man and bounces on the ground below...who exactly do you sell that has not violent? Also...this Narnia was a bit more forthcoming with its religious references. They should've just gave the lion a sign that said, I AM JESUS and had him quote bible scriptures the entir movie. And I'm pretty sure I saw Noah right at the end. Miracles. Faith. Testing of Faith. Its all there balled up into a kids fairytale.

So all in all, good flick. I was pleasantly surprised. If your into this sort of thing. I would suggest you see it. Even if your note, there is some hot centaur (half horse, half human) booty...you just got to see. What they were missing however.....were unicorns.

Whap, whap. i guess they still have one more chance, right?

Goth Barbie.

PeePee Ads.

So, this one is for the ladies. With all the hot girls and nipple slips I post about...i could come across as inconsiderate of my female readers. So here. An ad from TBWA Vienna, Its truthful. Guys tend to get into thier video games similar to how they play with themselves???
Its a little gross. Im not really a big video game person. Mario Kart on N64 and X-Men on Genisis are my claim to game.

But here you are...an unsettling penis, thumb ad, early Monday morning. Atleast you chicks can drool a little bit. Or not....whatev.

KKK Comedy Hour.

Thanks Mike Huckabee. You are doing a fine job confirming every belief I have about the NRA.

summer time. trying to live easy.

applications for Shaun's summer time fling are now being accepted. Please email your resume, a brief summary on what makes you a good candidate and attach a photo with specs. If you dont have my email, then you probably do not qualify.

thats is all. I will see you tomm kids. A new week is dawning. And I think summer time is here to stay.

weekend advice.

I thought I would end this week on a high note. Unfortunately, I was not able to blog as much as usual or do the research that creates really good blog posts...but hey, I actually had work to do this week. And Im tired as f*ck.

So, when I say its time for me to hit the clubs...I mean it. And I want to see you all there. But here is some advice.




You might think you can handle it at the club. But really...you may hurt yourself. Watch out.....watch out now.

Have a good one kids. I'm skippin out early today.

Halo, the cock blocker.

OK, ok, ok...what do you get when you have a thirteen year old, a hotel room and a $100,000 a night hooker?

Well, nothing....if the video game Halo is involved.

Ralph Hardy, a 13-year old, from Texas (Kellen please control your people) ordered another credit card from his dad's existing account. Then he and his friends went on a $30,000 shopping spree and ordered some hookers to a hotel room where they were playing Halo on Xbox.

When the hookers arrived...they peeped the situation and questioned the kids, they responded by telling the hookers, "they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them."

Hysterical.

The girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services. They actually told the police that the kids "would rather play video games than get down to business, and that was suspicious." Not the fact that they had no facial hair and their voices cracked...but the fact that they weren't begging for a screw got the hooker all up in arms.

In the end...the Police arrived to the hotel, arrested the hooker, but then let them go. The kid covered for himself by saying, "that his father wouldn't mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. He was suppose to take him to Disney Land" But alas, it did not work. He was charged with fraud and convicted to three months of community service.

This could've all been avoided if they would paused the damn game, and got dirty with the pricey hookers. Kids these days have no priorities.

Hot Sluts Singing.

I would be lying (or slightly nauseous), if I didn't say that these lovely ladies rock my boat on a major level. Meet...the Die Jacob Sisters. They are a German singing troupe that is all the rave in Germany.

Straight from thier website, they decribe themselves as the following... "50 Jahre Showgeschäft und kein bisschen leise - auch heute noch erzielen die Jacob Sisters musikalische Bestnoten.
Nach wie vor gibt es kein Entrinnen vor dem vierblättrigen Kleeblatt, beißen sich manche Möchtegernstars und -sternchen die Hitzähne aus an Johanna, Rosi, Eva und Hannelore Jacob. Und beim Anblick der zum "Team" gehörenden Pudel wird jedem klar, dass auch weißes Fell "ganz schön bunt" sein kann."

Yep. Just some good looking talented broads. How talented you may ask?

Really?...ads.

Really Brita? Really DDB San Fransisco?

Is this the best idea you came up with. Nauseating the potential customer into submission. The sad part is....that's kinda what the inside of my Brita Water Filter looks like anyway. Those Brita filters are expensive as hell. You need some serious disposable income to use a Brita correctly. And its the exact same thing 3 times in a row. Not even one extra step.

Whap, whap.

painting some trees.

So, I may have been the only 11 yr old kid in the country who was inspired by the work of Bob Ross. Yep...I admit it. I use to watch hours and hours of him don nothing but paint and talk. With his soft monotone voice, I felt like I could do anything (especially paint....which in all actuality, I suck at). I can paint a mean pine tree though.

But here is a funny parody.