In short, a french student accepted a ride from a native (who also went to his school); instead of taking him home they toke him to a dark alley to rape him. Upon reporting it to the cops, the raped boy was charged with homosexual activity, discouraged from pressing charges and had to leave the country to avoid getting arrest, for- uh...getting raped. Not recognizing male rape, in all fairness, they do a term "forced homosexuality" in which some one can be sent to prison for up to 2 months. They, the country, then ignored the boy and the french government.
This sounds like a lovely vacation spot. Maybe I will go here, on my honey moon, if I am lucky! Did I say honeymoon... I meant torturous death in hell.
(P.S. this is one of my major fears, going to an acclaimed tourist haven, only to be traumatized by subculture shenanigans and evil doers with accents. This guys first mistake, was hopping into a car with a stranger.)
Lesbians have tear ducts too. I swear. In fact power lesbians, according to recent studies, seem to be the easiest egg to crack. Apparently, all you need is a dog. Kids. And enough irrationality and irrelevancy to fill an eco friendly two car garage(condoms excluded). If you havn't seen it click here. The skinny is, she adopted a dog, then gave it away, hence violating the "adopted dog contract." In response, the adoption agency, took the dog back. There were kids or something involved as well. No matter the case, Lesbians are cool in my book. The Lebanese government...not so much, but Lesbians...I like. Especially dancing lesbians. Dance on Ellen, dance on. BTW, there's no crying on TV. Oprah, would never....The Twist: Apparently, this is like the 10th time Ellen has done this...broken the animal adoption law and what not. So, "they" where fed up and decided to act....and now they are out of business. Ellen, caring fundamentalist or stupid overzealous animal abuser- you choose. I mean, whate evr the case....she is still an awesome dancing lesbian. Did I mention that already.
Umbrella. According to sources, Rihanna's semi hit/hated song Umbrella was orignally meant for R&B queen Mary J Blidge. She was quoted as saying saying, "I had too much on my plate...but Rihanna did her thing and made that song a hit."
We all know I have an unaquited love for the Umbrella..ella, ella, eh, eh, eh song....but could you imagine how different that song woulda been if MJ did it. She woulda been talking about her cheek scar and all that rain and drama in her life. It woulda been a hit as she rifted up and down the scales, Real soulful. And then Jay woulda been on it. I woulda been like "Holler, NY and that Umbrella." It woulda been a revolution mang. But no.....instead we have a forieghner giving us some shallow ass "ellas." What does this teach us? It is indeed raining and pouring....when MJ dismisses a song, you need to scoop it the fuck up. Fact.
Halloween, Celeb Style:
So as I denounced the holidays due to personal reasons and lack of funding, the rich did it up big.
Kate Beckinsdale as: Slutty Devil
Paris Hilton as: Slutty Alice in Wonderland
Heidi Klum (Seal) as: Cat Thingy?
Seinna Miller as : Oh wait, she isn't in costume. NIP SLIP! Hahaha
Overall Lessons learned:
1. "Slut" is and will always be acceptable for ALL (regular, famous and not so regular) women to dress as on Halloween. The key is...you gotta act like you are something else, with a side of slut. 2. Hiede Klum has finally pooped that baby out and is back to here old self, thank the gods. And body suites DO work for her. 3. Nip slips are always funny, especially when you are not dressed up in a costume. 4. Dressing up make you look stupid.
Happy Halloween. I'm so glad it's over. On to the realer holidays.
Superior Monkeys. One of the world's most awe-inspiring mammals died yesterday from natural causes. Washoe, the sign languaging chimp. Now, when I say chimp, you are probably thinking Speed Racer, or Magilla Guerrilla...or Curious george. But no, this monkey...I mean chimp, was far more relevant and useful and real. Clearly smarter than myself- I signed. Like, he could speak to death people. I'm surprised this little guy wasn't in area 54 with the transformers. Anyway, I felt like giving him some love .....R.I.P.
Robert Goulet dies. Actor, singer, entertainer and hilarious commercial star, Goulet died yesterday Oct 30th. Truly hip, in all senses of the word...he will be missed. Hats off to a truly non-traditional man. R.I.P.
B-Day. Where the f*ck is Beyonce's hair? OMG, I am pretty sure I have lost all sexual attraction to this women. She now looks like my little cousin Brandon. And I am not a pedophile. You hear me Beyonce...I am not a pedophile.
Aren't you rich?
And finally, Brittany is still retarded. Rumors, rumors, rumors. She is trying to have another baby. She lost custody and visiting rights of her kids. She has cocaine parties the same night as her loosing custody of her kids. Still not wearing underwear in public, yet straddling like a cowboy as she gets out of cars.
I really have nothing to say here. Actions are the pantomime of words. And there is a god damn Shakespearean play occurring in her head right now. I only wish I knew someone like this. Someone so messed up, that I automatically feel better about myself when I am around them. If only.......
{one fist in the air} Live on Brittany, Live on.
-FIN
2 comments:
I love the guy that walking with her's look . . . priceless.
talking about Beyonce. Just realized there was lot more to that post. ahahhaah
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