11.07.2007

Beep me 911.

Just continuing the self incriminating posts that convey how absolutely absurd I and my daily life are. No worries...read on, don't be scared.

Setting Goals. "Do you ever wonder why fetuses (feti?) don't do well with stairs? It's like their kryptonite. " This is what I asked someone today after seeing a picture of an 8 limbed child on msn news. Yesterday, someone asked me why I didn't like brown cloths and my response, without hesistation, was "Cause it's too close to the color of poop." An hour ago, upon discussing an Arab Jewish trader in my office and feeling sorry for the lack of x-mas in his life, I came up with a new color for crayola called...."Jew Blue."

I feel like these are the quotes that accurately describe the processes that go through my mind. This is how my brain works. Is this good or bad? I was discussing marriage with my parental unit...it was a deep convo, I guess, inwhich I was asked to estimate the age I would get married. When I replied with a "Probably Never" she was shocked and appalled. But I look at it this way..... if the concepts and doings mentioned in the first paragraph are a daily occurrence, what are the odds that I will find someone who is as nutty as I am (and hot)? Probably close to nill, I'd say.

If I were a girl, which I am not...I wouldn't date me. I would hook-up with me...but not date. I'm insane....and a girl would have to be 20 times more crazy to want to spend her life with me. Besides, we all know I get bored real easily...so with that in mind here are my only goals for the future. A Career which allows me to use the term "Jew Blue" at will and without judgement. A child...with 4 limbs (knock on wood) and an extensive wardrobe of none poop brown. In between those life goals, there will be a lot of tequila and rum shots and even more jack and cokes. That's all I can promise you right now mum(that's British for Mom, ya know). So I told her that, and she called me an idiot. FYI-She is coming to Chi-town in a week and a half. I hope this place is ready to be shook to the ground.

Achilles Heel. My roommate, Kellen tore his ACL and now has to go in for surgery. I would like to tell you that he is a substitute training facilitator for a professional sports team, and while he was running drills with the big dogs, taking hits like a champ and scoring on some of the highest paid and regarded professional athletes...in the world when he tore his ACL. Or maybe that he was cage fighting in Brazil, sparring with John Claude Vandam (sp?)-the one from the late 80s-and he took a brutal beating from a large Asian man with a head band. But alas, that would be a bit of a stretch, he actually landed on his knee wrong after a sloppy Fred Flinstone Heel Click.

Yeah, I know...not the best way to go. It's like a trained ninja getting a leg cramp. Sad. And a little pathetic. He has requested a new ACL from a black man...which should have 2 effects; 1- We will be awesome at Basketball / less good at Ice Hockey. 2- He will have to come down to the south side with me when I get my hair cut next time. But on the real, you guys should keep him in your prayers, or spiritual sessions or after hours...wherever you do your inward reflection.

*Note*Me and my roomate-Kelly- are already planning a cruches obstacle coarse which we will set up in the living room. It will be called "Disabled Gladiators 2007", tights and all. To sign up contact me. If you don't have my contact...you probably do not know me well enough, and its better that way.

What am I? I got called a hipster last night.
The definition of a hipster is....a person in their teens to 20s who generally listen to indie rock, hang out in coffee shops, shop at the thrift store and talk about things like books, music, films and art. So, I began thinking about my everyday life. I was at a live music rock bar on a Wednesday night-hanging out. And I did see American Gangster (which we will discuss at a later date) on opening weekend. I read. Like art to an extent. But on the other hand, I shop at the Gap (never a thrift store, unless it is halloween), I drink Dunkin Donuts...which is basically a drive though-or should I say walk through. I like the song Indie Rock and Roll by the Killers, but I can only assume that they are an indie rock band, b/c they have a song by that name. Here is another definition of hipster;

.......in present day slang has developed distinct negative connotations, including: identifying that a person may be superficially following recently mass produced, homogeneous, urban fashion trends, overly concerned with their image and the contradictions of their identity, potentially anorexic, disingenuously appropriating a pseudo-artistic image or "a collage of other urban identities" from the past, or simply an elitist. Similar to other social groups, hipsters have been accused of exercising peer pressure to persuade other members of the group to adopt certain attitudes and ideas (e.g., that the music of Steely Dan lacks soul). Though many hipsters are seen to identify strongly with the perceived rarity and exoticness of their particular fashion and tastes, the phenomenon of moving into city centers and adopting "new" urban attitudes toward fashion, design, and culture is currently a major social trend and is the subject of numerous reality and home improvement television shows. Often in its negative connotation, 'hipsters' are considered apathetic, apolitical, and self-entitled by other, often marginalized sectors of society they live amongst, including previous generations of bohemian and/or "counter-culture" artists and thinkers.- Wikipedia

Like a few months ago I was called a Yuppie (Young Urban Professional). I considered myself somewhat preppy back in the day. I do employ a considerate amount of peer pressure, but who doesn't. I am definitely not part of any counterculture. And is there really anyway to live in America today with out being a representation of a collage of past styles, trends and identities. This isn't Norway. Frankly...I am confused. Like every other American, I would like fit neatly into a class system or social construct, and there are so many things being thrown out and about, how is a young black man suppose to know who he is? Do you know ahat you qualify as?

So I have decided to make my own Social Construct Labeling System. It will be in a later blog, because I need time to consider accuracy instead of the usual discrimination and hate propaganda that I enforce so willingly . Or at most.....I need time come up with cool names for each social class. And please...no comments about individualism and crap like that. This is America...if you are a true orginal with no group...you are probably considering pipe bombing your highschool.


Side Note: My roommates and I are starting a Band called "the bathtub incident" and our first single is "the drawbacks of button flies"

Me: Kazoo, recorder, back-up vocals

Kelly: Triangle, Dancing (Skanking) and screaming randomly

Kellen: Lead Singer

Matt: Drummer



-THAT IS ALL FELLOW READER
on with your daily boring lives. This party is over.


Quote of the Week:

" [Marijuana] is not a drug. It's a leaf." - Arnold Schwarzenegger in GQ Magazine

2 comments:

L said...

do you mean cruches?

i want to play.

Kelly J said...

you can't be a hipster until you know what skanking is.