laugh.

because it's funny. Haitian ipod.

those darn moving pictures.

Movies: The Golden Compass. I have to see this movie on the 7th of December. The premise is a little wild, and I totally understand why no one would want to see it with me, but as one of the first BIG books I read as a kid, I feel like I owe it to myself [my obligation] as a not so avid reader. It is only like once a year I can go to a movie adaptation and say pompously, "This is nothing like the book." Though, I do not remember that much of the book, except that there are talking animals for each human in the world. There's a compass. And magic. All good reasons to get up in the morning, if you ask me. And who in thier right mind doesn't want to see 2 polar bears go at it...whether it be cgi or real life. Oh, and Nicole Kidman is in it(which may turn some off, but always seems to float my boat-as long as she doesnt have freak show eyebrows.) Hitman. Which is a story about a Hitman. And, I mean...it doesn't really get any deeper than that. So...I have to see it. Ands then, I will also see I Am Legend starring the oh so charming Will Smith (the only black mainstream actor who hasn't played the role of a troubled cop), but only b/c my roommate wants to see it, and I have this dream that one day, when he says he will see a movie in the theater, the gods will ensure that he keeps his word. Word. But truthfully, it just looks like 28 Days Later, but in America...NY to be exact. I done seen No Country for Old Men and it is good. Definitely one of those movies that ends and then you discuss it for an hour or two. Cohen movies usually go down like that. Negatively speaking, the ending was a little weak...and by week I mean, out of nowhere...like they just ran out of ideas and where like, "Let's just end it here." And the plot or subplot is about a sociopath killer had me thinking throughout the entire movie.."THEY ARE JUST GIVING CRAZY PEOPLE IDEAS, they need to stop." It's like 2 hours of brain storming for muders. Mom wa sin town, so I saw, This Christmas,which was cute. I guess...it showcases all the new upcoming black movie, c-list stars. Chris Brown was in it, playing the youngest in the family AND a singer. Tough role for him...being 18 yrs old and a singer. best part of the movie, was at the very end, during the credits, and the whole family is dancing down thier own soul train line...but as thier real actor selves. So, everyone does age appropriate moves, and the love of my life, Lauren London (the attainable crush) goes down the line and Chris Brown yells "PROJECT" as she does her liitle bott poppin dance. I was dying.
The Tele: I Love NY is really spicing up. After a slow start, they have def purged the normals, and left the drama. Last weeks emergence of Chance, this week's NY definitions of what good means to her (great, outstanding,owosome, dreamy), and next week's meet the parents...I am more than excited. Still buggin that they called Pretty, gay for about 3 episodes straight on national TV, before kicking him out. Yikes! Nip Tuck, is finally warming up. And the ridiculousness begins. Kudos to the Mandingo swingers club reference in the past issue...I am joining that when I turn 30 (shhh, secret). Kid Nation is a tease. Nothing ever really happens on that show. And I think I found trans-show relatives. Taylor from Kid Nation and Chantel fro America's Next Top Model. I see you...sisters and all. ANTM (acronym alert)...only in America could we kick off the retarded model (hence killing all hopes foe every little girl who is just a little different) and get away with it. Bye bye Heather. Project Runway. They used guy models this week, for a suit for a Tiki barber outfit they had to make. And did u guys see me on it? Well, you would've, but when they called me last year...I was like, "I dont do commercial stuff like that" and then I told my agent she was an idiot.
Ok, I think that's it. Ew, ew, ew, excpet did you hear about the Hogan family divorce, which Hulk Hogan learned about via the press? So, here's an fyi.....for those famous couples...take a hint...Jessica and Nick, Nivaro and Carmen, Kathy Griffin and her husband, Travis and whats her name. Reality TVin your home, is kinda a set-up for a divorce. I mean...Ozzy is the only one who made it through one of these things. But he is baked out of his brain.




Now...that's it.

-FIN

some deep sh*t.

Which one of these is more important in a relationship?

That you are involved with someone:

who respects the way you think, your beliefs and the way your mind works?
or
who cherishes your heart...loves you unconditionally, faults and all?



I pick the first one. There is no room for the second one, if the first one is not understood....in any relationship you have. What do you think kids?

nectur of the gods.

Baltimore Club Music changes lives.












In the south...these songs kill the club. Consider yourself educated. Now touch the ground and shake yo cheeks. Unless ofcourse you a guy (unless you role like that).lol.

On Holiday.

That's British you know?

There is only one thing better than scoring tickets to a Micheal Jackson concert, and that is Ma Dukes coming to Chicago for the first time ever; in and of itself a cause for me to create a list of visit highlights. Think freeze frame, highlight pen and a bunch of circles and arrows.

1. Ma Dukes cooks a massive turkey day dinner. 15 lb turkey, ham, mash potatoes, delectable string beans, greens, candy yams, stuffing and sweet potato pies for dessert. She also stocks up the fridge with the not so necessary necessities (all the things i really want at the grocery store but can't justify buying, ex. Pirouette Cookies)
Circles: Ham, string beans, Whiskey Egg Nog
Arrows: My stomach slow lose of sexy shape, going up a belt notch, the metal ticker that is steadily going right on the weight scale....for the past 6 days

2. Ma Dukes De Boes old man from our tour seats. As the firsts ones on the bus for this long ass tour (10-3pm) of Chicago, we get stellar seats up in the front on the bus. First stop; the plant zoo, and on my way back I catch a glance of an old man sitting in our seat. Quiet helpless and feeble looking. Ma Dukes seeing him a minute later mutters "Oh, hell no" and before I am up in the bus (about 5 seconds) the oldman is slow limping his way to the back of the bus.
Circles: Front row Seats, 4 hours too long bus tour
Arrows: The split second blitz the decrepit old man was forced to perform as to avoid the true wrath of Ms. Williams. Smart play on his part.

3. Mom plays Wii tennis. Think...the passion and intensity if Rocky as he runs up the stairs to theme music meets, skill level and hand eye coordination of a infant cyclops with 20/80 vision. Still...a good time had by all. I also beat her in thumb wrestling. (This is what 23 yr old do with their parents...no?)
Circles: Wii, quiet possibly the funnest...or most fun of all the systems I have ever played
Arrows: My mom calling me "a cheater and a con artist", to my face after the first game. And me saying, "You are going down woman!"

All in all...perfect weekend. All of my roomates were out of town. Got to walk around naked and mark my territory. And now, it is back to the daily monotony of this boring life. I believe that if I were to create a show about my life, it would be called Hell Wrapped in Bubblewrap. And it would run for 2 seasons before being canceled. And it would be after Dancing with the Stars, but on TBS.

Quote of the Weekend:
"If one more person walks infront of me, I am going to trip them."- Mom...lol


-HOLLER!

commemorate that.

If you could commemorate one thing...what would it be?

Like, something so pure and unbridled, it changed your life by simply being.
Inspirational. A building block to who you are right now.

And you want to etch that sh*t in stone for the rest of the following generations.


I choose, the movie Mary Poppins.

interlude.

Jimi. Is.

I really like these.

This campaign.

I really tried not to write another ad blog today. But I refuse to let my emotions not be heard. I think its the art direction that sold it to me. The TV spot is "eh, ok."

always remember....

I am the lead singer. Not you.

Me.

(featuring the roomates and that other kid...based on a real story)

the headlines read. i think.

Invest. In the search of the newest and most ridiculous invention from the country that has the time and energy to think up the silliest and most obscurest of things...some say we have hit our peak. The toaster over...because lord forbid we eat our toast fresh. "I must have it slightly toasted, the roof of my mouth is delicate." This quotation, is me btw. Sugar cubes...because the grains where way too much to handle (I think this is the Brits fault). Remotes, because....wait, remotes are genius. But anyway, check out the Cell Zone. When it is too noisy out and you can't hear your best friend tell you they are in H&M on the 4th floor, duh...duh,duuuuhhhh. Now there is a booth...ergonomic, I guess, to step into and make really really important business calls. Good Bless America.


Want to become a robot? (my child hood dream). Well, according to this lovely article, all you have to do is join the army. And then...maybe, in 50 years or so. You get to fight in one. It;s basically like an exoskeleton, that you step into. It lifts 100's of pounds...o' so simply. It's got crazy hooks for hands. And it is slightly "agile". My fav part is when the guy says..."You can even dance in it," and then they cut to the soldier doin his thing which gave me a flash back to all the MTV springbreak dance programs I watched in 6th grade, but with an added sense of impeding galactic doom.
PS This is still not as cool as if we could freeze people and have them wake up in a century and fight crime with Saundra Bullock.


The problem with PSAs. I know, I know...how could there really be a problem with PSAs. It is probably the single most positive form of advertising out there, and all the rest of it....the devils playground of unessecary consumption and mind control. Underage drinking is bad. Mothers Against drunk Driving...is good. NRDC...good (though Greenpeace is annoying as hell). But things like this, make me ponder the relevance and logistic of some PSAs out there.Or maybe its the fact that I just do not get cyber bullying. I would suggest its another too-much Oprah watching, not so go fad that they are turning into a revolutionary problem. A downward societal inferno....if not addresses and advertised about.

For example...there is always a drug of the season. Last year it was weed. Watch out! You could hit a kid after you satisfy you munchies. Then it was oxy cotton. Now its meth...which will take your parents away from you. And while no one is disputing the horror that are these drugs and their effects...they are shallow as all hell, media inspired and worst of all...lack luster. They're not even to the quality level of The Brain On Drugs ads, and that was done in the 80s. And I guess what set me off to talk about this, is the new trend of focus on cyber bullying. I mean, did she say her breath smelt like hot trash? I mean...online bullying. How do they get your lunch money. Where are the physical threats? And I guess it's all in the logistics, but how is bullying truly bullying, if there is no physical threat. What ads like these are portraying...is gossip. And there is no real call to action. Except, "don't ignore" and "don't laugh at it." Stupid. Let's all jump on the don't really understand but make ads about it band wagon. There are better messages to be said, and quiet frankly...better ways to say them.
On a completely different note.....this is genius. Damn you Japanese toys. You are giving our children the clap.


Go America!





And I will end on this. Mr. T plays World of Warcrafts. And apparently, so does William Shatner. So....either you both are really hurting for a pay check or you BOTH are complete losers.

-SHAZAAM

and then.

Elmo is killin it. And I hypothesized before seeing the actual end that Oscar was Caucasian and the Cookie Monster was hispanic. I swear.

secrets.

I judge you. Because I can and because you are all over the tv showing all your goods. And my conclusion....the new Victoria Secret girl (Miranda Kerr) is NO Adrianna Lima. She is doing the same type of commercials that lima I guess was doing, a silly accent (and we all know how I feel about accents) just like Lima...so that when they talk you are not only just provoked by boobage to not listen to a damn thing they are saying, but forced just to allow some mercy upon your ears....but something is off about this new girl. I'm NOT saying she is a booga bear or anything (mom reference), she is pretty. But she is no Adrianna Lima.

Judge for yourself.
Kurr.



Lima.



This is clearly, a pivotal and life changing debate. Take it seriously. I am thinking about writing Victoria...or Victor. I think they should put the new girl back in storage and bring back the classic.


I will leave you with this final thought or artistic piece, just to help you nail it down. Hiedi Klum has finally hit her breaking point.




Quick question. Do you have to have ginormous breast to be a victoria secret model?

-FIN

Luv the Asians.

indian day.

As I sat round yesterday, snapping the ends off of string beans and judging Chicago's turkey day parade in comparison with New York's Macy's day parade (Chicago lost).....I thought to myself..."this is nice."

It's nice that we take time out of our daily schedule to be thankful. You know...thankful that we are Americans. Thankful the we commit turkey genocide every Thanksgiving in the name of tradition. Thankful that we stole this land from its original indigenous people and then managed not only to create a staggering cultural divide, but but also reinforce it on a daily basis.

The thing that I am most thankful for however, is that we celebrate this day with gigantic Scooby Doo's.

Oh Yeah, and I am thankful for friends and family.


Merry Turkey Day...to you, my reader.

What What, In the Butt.

Check those fly dance moves......lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU


-FIN

PS Momma Williams is IN the house. Literally. BAM!

Quote of the Week (amongst other memorable quotations):

"The only thing worse than a hobo, is a hobo underground."