and then.

Elmo is killin it. And I hypothesized before seeing the actual end that Oscar was Caucasian and the Cookie Monster was hispanic. I swear.

secrets.

I judge you. Because I can and because you are all over the tv showing all your goods. And my conclusion....the new Victoria Secret girl (Miranda Kerr) is NO Adrianna Lima. She is doing the same type of commercials that lima I guess was doing, a silly accent (and we all know how I feel about accents) just like Lima...so that when they talk you are not only just provoked by boobage to not listen to a damn thing they are saying, but forced just to allow some mercy upon your ears....but something is off about this new girl. I'm NOT saying she is a booga bear or anything (mom reference), she is pretty. But she is no Adrianna Lima.

Judge for yourself.
Kurr.



Lima.



This is clearly, a pivotal and life changing debate. Take it seriously. I am thinking about writing Victoria...or Victor. I think they should put the new girl back in storage and bring back the classic.


I will leave you with this final thought or artistic piece, just to help you nail it down. Hiedi Klum has finally hit her breaking point.




Quick question. Do you have to have ginormous breast to be a victoria secret model?

-FIN

Luv the Asians.

indian day.

As I sat round yesterday, snapping the ends off of string beans and judging Chicago's turkey day parade in comparison with New York's Macy's day parade (Chicago lost).....I thought to myself..."this is nice."

It's nice that we take time out of our daily schedule to be thankful. You know...thankful that we are Americans. Thankful the we commit turkey genocide every Thanksgiving in the name of tradition. Thankful that we stole this land from its original indigenous people and then managed not only to create a staggering cultural divide, but but also reinforce it on a daily basis.

The thing that I am most thankful for however, is that we celebrate this day with gigantic Scooby Doo's.

Oh Yeah, and I am thankful for friends and family.


Merry Turkey Day...to you, my reader.

What What, In the Butt.

Check those fly dance moves......lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU


-FIN

PS Momma Williams is IN the house. Literally. BAM!

Quote of the Week (amongst other memorable quotations):

"The only thing worse than a hobo, is a hobo underground."

hairy.

It's kind of a problem now. This hair situation. It just does whatever it feels like. It is just long enough to try and rebel, yet...it isn't long enough, for any real ratical movment.

I mean, for example, yesterday it slapped my boss's newborn baby in the face (pretty gangster). And the little red thing, did kinda ask for it. Last night my mom called me, while I was taking a nap. Regular protocol calls for an ignored/missed call until I am truly awake to deal with the "antics." But no... my hair answeres the phone for me and shoves it in my face. Just this morning, I was on a packed train receiving uncomfortable glances from the local regulars...as they have come to accept me upon their daily commuted, but when my hair started throwing bo's and listening to his headphones too loud....they plain and simply, could not handle. It's pure inconsideration at the very least. Who let all that ethnicity on the train anyway?
Yet, there are times that make it all seem worth it. When a long lost friend muffles her mouth only to scream "You are growing your hair out...crazy"...and then adds without even a beckoning, "I like it." And my heart breathes a sigh of relief.


Whatever would I do if you did not?

damn the simplicity of it all.

VW makes the road your gift.

&

Alzheimers. Makes you forget.



so simple.......


ps R.I.P. Mr Whipple. How will I ever read "Hey Whipple Speeze This "again? Read about the passing of a brand legend here.

Alicia Keys. Wreckless Love.

ridiculously good.

inspiration mondays.

on this monday.....

my stomach shrieks for food. And in the midst of my giving up on being anorexic, I succum. I eat. And eat. And eat. And now I feel as if I may puke. Holy steak burrito...how deliciously and awesomely filling you are. But I am juxtaposed. I think I would rather not have that tingly sensation in my left arm. Or maybe its the right one. Damn, I am a fatty.

i realize the only thing worse than scouring the city, looking for a new cd, is...well, nothing. At 11am I was made aware that the only Virgin Mega store in the Chicago Loop has closed. And when I tried to rectify the situation with my sheer brilliance to "go to a book store" for music (the world is indeed as doomed as Al Gore said). Was it there? Nope. So I book it uptown...cause you know, now that it's in my head it is merely steps away from being. But the steps, were in all actuality 1000. And the purchase was less than extraordinary. And those combinations...is why people down load illegally. Not that I do...but in the mere 4 hours that I had to deal with getting this cd...suddenly, waiting for my Limewire crew to get thier sh*t together seemed to be a logical state of affairs. And now I am $15 poorer, and it is not yet on my ipod. Damn you Alicia Keys. Damn you.

i regret the open bar I went to Sat. Apparently I was a hot mess. Head down on the table. No tabs on how I got home or when. I woke up with just my jeans on in my bed. My keys and phone where in my bath tub and my belt was in the living room. I mean...this in not a good look. There was a time, back in my hay day where I could drink whatever I wanted...and not almost die in a cab. I only had 6 beers. 4 rum and cokes. And 2 shots of Jameson. Tequila wasn't even involved. "Everyone who needs to get their lives together, raise there hands!" [Shaun raises his, as one single tear rolls down his face]. Lets just hope that I didn't do anything...I would, let's say....regret. And on another note...if someone...say dressed as a fox, was following me around spiking my drink, I will kindly ask you to stop. I have learned my lesson.

i've confirmed that the only thing that gets me through a regular work day --are peppermint candies. Who is the genius that created these wonderful balls of loveliness? Kudos to you good man. Diabetes never tasted so good.


That's all my little white persian monkies. There are movies to review. Parents to come to town. And naps to take.

-Adios.


PS Check the Anti George Bush song from PInk. Does this mean Pink is part of the new Dixie Chicks paradigme?

I Need You- Alicia Keys

Funny Bunny.

Anyone catch these wierd MTV, Alicia Keys commercials? There's another spot where the bunny eats Alicia Key's left-overs and debos her.
But this one is the funniest.....creepy ass rabbit thing.

nudewolf.

if there is one thing the entices me about the new movie Beowolf....it is that fact that Angelina in full frontal nakey...well, almost nakey. Fine...computer nakey. Luckily for you, and her I must add, I'm into cyber nudity.


Before:

After:

And here is another one. Cause everyone knows...the more pics you have of a cyber image, the more real it is. That's something my kindergarten teacher told me. She almost has a cyber nip slip here. And THAT is funny...or is it sexy?

-FIN

I couldn't make this up, if I tried.

x-mas cronicals....part 1.


Rajah Justice-Benjamin
London Howard
Zion Wilson
Danishamona Boyd
Lyric Robinson
Sunshay Bradely
Ada Williams
Tyray Vance
Cyrus Edmund
Rain Robinson
Neoko Higgins
Destiny Benton
Damerjian Baldwin
Jarzell Davis
Damarion Foster
Ada Williams



Names. This in not a list for the up coming cast of Lion King 4, nor is it the baby name list for some celebrity with a skewed sense of reality, let's say...oh, Christina Aguilera (lol, that's not what she really looks like, but it would be awesome IF she did). Nor is it the screen names for the 90's classics "Boys In the Hood" and or "Belly". Nor the long lost episode of Rainbow Bright.

These are just a few of the multiple ghetto-tastic names of some kids on the South side of Chicago who need some Santa's Helpers- help. Why would I know this? Well, as my official title as office b*tch, I am organizing this thing, so that the rich traders at my firm can spread the wealth of Spiderman and Bratz love. While one kid asks " How you [Santa] and Ms Clause are doing?" (clearly a sign of a recently broken home), another requests a roca wear outfit, which everyone knows IS Santa's specialty.

Just another day in my fantastic life. Good luck to you and your future, Rajah Justice-Benjamin. Keep it real hood.

That Shuffle Love.

Today, I caught Theo giving some unrequited glances at a stranger this morning. And I am not hating. I am also not judging. It was the morning and I have indeed experienced a fair amount of "train glaring." Getting caught in the act. And receiving it. From my point of view, it is non-denominational....girls and guys alike, I sometimes admire a neatly pressed button down or a pair of slacks and thier fit. Sometimes its a girl frantically putting on make-up on a packed train. And then, as if a universal truth has been realized, in a glance...a simple shift of the eyes, you are drawn back into your own shyness...as if you had just stolen cookies from the cookie jar. Or, as you feel the empty weight of an ominous stare, an invisible hand guides you to its source just in time for them to look away...as if they weren't caught.

And so today, I caught Theo dead in the act. Cheating on me with his nano eyes. Sure...he is sleek and attractive. New to town and bold, and it is only natural for him to come out of his shell (figuratively). And I was ok with it. Until I saw the object of his affection...a high gig holding monstrosity circa late 90's. It was covered in an atrocious pink leather jacket...more obscene than attractive. Hideous even. So then I had to yoke him up. Reminded him that this is America and not a Chinese commonwealth of the feudal ages. There are standards of attraction...and the first one is...stay in your range.

Kids these days.

Sleeve Ach.

"Some people wear their heart on their sleeves. Me, I always have it strapped to my left ankle under my pant leg...so no one knows it is there."


How do you get like this? So detached. So tainted. When you meet someone, your eyes boil over from the mere potential. When they call...your mind turns on for the first time that day. Here are my interests on a platter. What's your mom's middle name again? When goodbyes are a mere timeout until the next rendezvous.

And then, in a simple conversation, its over. Before it even really began. Before you could use that special word reserved for family or give a truly meaningful embrace. And you will never really talk to them again, they didn't even begin to understand were your heart was located.

And life goes one...cause your heart is so cleverly hidden. Well done.