Remarkable.

It's an unremarkable thing,

this life I live.

I know people think their lives are special.

But who am I to kid.

I witness morning after morning, of nothing new.

Day after day, and nothing grew.

I meet person after person.

And they are all the same.

Sizing me up, figuring out my weakness

And then playing the game.

"Hello...my name is...what is it you do?

Let's have lunch...do me a favor....I'll be your friend too."

It's an unremarkable thing,

this blog I write.

Arbitrary and compact

As meaningless, but less impactful,

than my last literary plight.

My skill set is measured hourly.

And my mind is literally, for sale.

My limbs worry about copay.

And my wallet awaits the next bill.

It is an unremarkable thing. 

This thought I have.

That made me sit, in front of this screen.

And type so much about.

Where as in other parts of the world.

I suppose things far great are occurring.

But not to me. Nor the people I know.

So what's the use of caring?

It's an unremarkable thing, 

this life I live.

But with such an average past.

I have no choice but to go forward.

And let the rest go pass. 

Because who defines remarkable?

That still isn't very clear.

And that is why remarkable.

Can never be, just this here.

-shaun w

State-cations.

In this horrible economy a junior (anything) cannot afford to travel the world. Especially if you are paying New York rent. *Word* But the funny thing is that the workload and stress doesn't let up. So you gotta go somewhere. I choose Pittsburgh. So that's where I'm going this weekend. I plan to buy Steelers gear, finally visit U-Pitt and go midget hunting. I also hope to come back with a new tattoo and a nose piecing...fingers crossed. 

So please excuse my absence. :::Man Down:::

Sorry.

Taking a few personal days. I will be back at the Prostitution of my Thoughts (and yours)...tomm. In the mean time, I'm letting you see my new tattoo from my bday weekend. Thoughts, advice or words on inspiration?

See you tomm. And yes...that is my nipple at the top left. You are welcome. And I do have a thing for gill sans.

About Me.

So I may or may not have signed up for a Medieval Times birthday a few months ago, forgot and then received a personal email with my government name on it. And they had the nerve to put little children in costumes on it. And they sent it at 1am. The really funny part...is that I was really excited about it. Anyone want to go with me? I need a designated driver. 

P.S. This is full disclosure here. It's me opening up to you, the reader. But seriously...is anyone interested in a dinner and a tournament?

7 Things About Me.

I’ve been tagged by Jane from Dear Jane Sample to reveal 7 things about myself and in turn tag 7 more people to do the same. I saw this circling around other blogs and I hoped that I would not have to partake for 2 reasons: 1.) As this is not a myspace posting....I stopped trying to be too personal on this blog some time ago for fear of boring people to death  2.) I'm pretty sure my daily rant and raves have left little to no secrets about me to be conveyed. I am not all that interesting of a person (I just play one on the Internet). 

Yet...I accept this challenge. 

1.) I have an incredible love for the movie Mary Poppins. Like an undying, always entertained, I will fight you love. 

2.) I kid you not...the Beijing Olympics of 2009 was the most fun I have had watching TV in my entire life. I literally lived for them (as you could tell by my blog back in the summer). But my blog was literally only 20% of the fanaticism. What you don't know is that I planned my life around the Olympics. I found PCs (NBC is not mac compatible) at my office or left the office aimed for the local bar and watched events during the work day. I wrote down notes for things to blog about (I am normally not that organized). I downloaded a widgets and followed Japanese websites. I hate Michael Phelps and was obsessed with the Gymnastics portions of the games-- literally my soaps. I have a weird semi-celeb addictions and the games fed it like a fat kid at a cake factory. I will stop here...before I embarrass myself. 

3.) I don't say half of the things that run through my mind...for fear of freaking people out. And most of the thoughts are just obscenely ridiculous. 

4.) I am Bermudian.

5.) There are only two things that make me nauseous in the entire world: 1. Cabbage-the small and taste and 2. Broken bones (seeing the break happen or the direct after effect of the break). I can handle anything else. 

6.) I have a horrible addiction to zip up hoodies/sweaters. I will and can always buy one if given the option. I usually have to talk myself out of it. But as a present...it will always be in (in my book).

7.) I didn't always want to be an art director. As a kid, I wanted to be a farmer. Then I wanted to be a professional tennis player (I was and am really into tennis). In middle school I wanted to be an Architect, but Trig/Log/Calc in highschool killed that idea. I went to college thinking I wanted to go into Advertising, but I did not know what field. I originally thought I would go into account because (at the time), I was a great writer and I thought I could still use my creativity and the job would still be stable. After my first internship in the traffic department of a small Boston agency I realized I wanted to be a creative but never really committed until my final year in undergrad. I had a real fear of the lack of diversity (especially in the creative department) and honestly...my parents supported me and told me to go for my dream (even though they had no clue what that dream was or consisted of). So, I can thank the rents for where I am today, but it all started with wanting to own some cows and a few chickens- an aspiration I kinda still hope to accomplish. 

OK...now its my turn to pick 7. Although Jane took alot of the people I would've picked, I will do my best to keep this ball rolling. BTW The following people were chosen on a loose scale of  writing ability, availability, knowability and the reality that they will actually do this.

Ericka at Socialedisturbed

A at Bella on a Budget (perhaps this will start her blog...after she puts up my header)

Cas at Steel Closet

Tim at oneplusinfinity

Risk Continuum at Urban Prestige

Maya at Smart Aches

Catcher In the Rye

 THE RULES:
* Link to your original tagger(s) and list these rules in your post.
* Share seven facts about yourself in the post.
* Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names and the links to their blogs.
* Let them know they’ve been tagged

Damn...I need a cigarette after all that typing. Cheers!

10 Bathroom Rules for Men.

Joker over at WAS recently wrote a post titled 10 rules all men should follow when using the toilet. This is a topic that weighs heavily on my soul, especially within the work place. I think women around the world would faint if they knew the hedonistic discrepancies that occur regularly in the men's bathroom.  Though, my new job's bathroom layout alleviates much worry, Joker pretty much sums up exactly what all men over 25 should know and follow on a daily basis. This post is for Joe Coworker, who never washes his hands after he pees...you should be locked up and convicted. Word is born (throwback expression...2 points for me).  

1. Greetings should be limited to non physical acknowledgments. Who the hell wants cock, piss, ass or shit germs on ANY part of their bodies just to be nice and show you care. If you really care, wave or give me the Demolition Man greeting so you can keep your germies to yourself fucker. This applies to recently exited people from the bathroom where no less than three minutes must pass before offering a fraternal and physical greeting to a fellow human being.

OMG. the day someone pats me on the shoulder in the bathroom will be the day I lose a job.

2. Moaning is for porn, contain yourself. Though we invite you to relieve yourself, I don't need to be nauseated by some blowjob moan coming from my left.

There is nothing worse than hearing the vocal abilities of someone right next to you on the stall. Especially when you know who it is from their shoes.

4. Phonecalls while you're peeing are ok but while you're shitting, we expect silence. I don't know what's more distrurbing, knowing someone is having a detailed conversation while having to snip a loaf before time, the fact that the person on the other line might or might not know this person is taking a crap, or the unyielding truth that courtesty flushes are totally ommitted since this person is obviously more engrossed in talking shit while taking one.

The courtesy flush is a must...

7. If there are several urinals and there is only one person peeing, you must leave one urinal in between your fellow pisser. If not, you are formally declaring that you are either gay or have had gay thoughts in the last 24 hours.

Lol, I think this rule gets a pass if you're drunk at a bar. You just have to keep the eyes aimed straight foward...and no talking if I don't know you!

8. Wash not only your hands, but your nails. I've had the displeasure of seeing people with nails that look like they came from a catfight with a Crunch bar. Seriously people, ew.

ALWAYS wash your hands...it doesn't matter what device you are using. You nasty SOB. I'll call the cops...I swear. 

There are just a few, click here for the rest. And I would like to formally thank Joker for confronting this horrid epidemic head on. You are my hero!

It's All Over.

I hope you guys and gals had a great holiday. I know I only have like 3 readers, but I appreciate you all. A test tube baby of vanity and boredom, this blog has seen 2 Christmases, and for that...I am thankful. Merry Christmas kids. I had a good one. 

Cheers!!!

How Embarrassing.

I remember going to see the 2nd Harry Potter movie back in my undergrad days. It was a mere year after I discovered the true love of franchise that was sweeping the nation. It was a midnight showing and I was waiting in a theater filled with people dressed up like the characters for at least an hour before it started. I was forced to sit through a quiz, in which "prizes" were given away for in depth answers to silly Harry Potter themed questions. I recall one question in general: Name all the players of the Griffindore (spelling?) Quidditch team and their positions? A young lad rattled off the answer and won a scarf. 

Immediately realizing that this was the last Potter premier I would ever attend, I thought to myself: How f*ckin embarrassing for that dude. I would never feel that personal embarrassment. It is beyond my realm of cognition-impossible to fathom. That is until I found out that there currently is a Massachusetts Real Life Quidditch meet.

Upon watching the video filled with kids running around in the mud with brooms in between their legs, one thing became incredibly clear. All the kids in the video were from my Alma Mater.....

And I'm embarrassed for them...but more so for myself, for graduating from Boston University, the same school they attend.  

That is all. 

VIA geekologie

life-1, shaun-1

Recently, I have been trying to keep personal stories off of this here blog, but I must share...I just got an apartment in Harlem City, New York. HOLLER!

This is epic, because as you may or may not know...I was a grown up in Chicago, and was forced to downgrade myself for my job. Well...it appears as if I am moving back on up but to the west side.

*(cue life story)

After recieving the apartment, i was waiting for the Metro North at 125th and a bum lady approached me for money. What she did not realize was that she had approached me at the same time, in the exact same place, with the exact same story last week. And last week, I was so elated due to the new apartment find...I gave the bum lady $5 (I know, I know...very not me). The encounter went something like this:

Bum Lady: Sir, I hate to be a bother and mean no disrespect, but I am trying to collect money to get on a train to go up to a hospital, cause I'm pregnant....

Me: I don't have any money.

(she stops her story and begins to walk away)

Me: Didn't I give you five dollars last week?

(she looks back, and continues walking away)

(I raise my voice [a lil hoodish] so that all the platform hears me)

Me: I mean...did you go and come back? Or are you trying to collect for a plane ticket...

So....learning lesson, I may be gullable if I have just found the apartment of my dreams. But I'm no idiot. I refuse to get bamboozled twice, in a row. And I refuse to let you get away with it. And you guys should do the same. 

Cheers.

After party at my spot!

Life: 1, Shaun:1 (see the last score)

Voting (in the ghetto).

I just got to work.

It took me approximately 3 hours to vote, from 6am to 9am in my pajamas. There was one machine for an entire district, that broke down twice. They had to bring a new machine.  Not two, but one...new machine. 

I'm so proud to be an American. We are so much more advanced than the rest of the world. 

Feeling disenfranchised much? There was a riot about to start where I was voting. What about you guys? Smooth sailing? Did I mention that there was only one machine?

photo cred. animalny

Very quickly....a few celeb costumes.

Ice T and wife Coco. Coco knows the true meaning of Halloween. It's slut-it-up day.

There is always one person who takes Halloween a bit to seriously. Hiedi Klum. God damn. The cast of Good Morning America dressed up for realz last Friday. And I appreciate that. (BTW did anyone catch the craziness that was happening on Fox Morning News...out of control).

But out of all the good costumes (Al the Cookie Man Candy Crotch included) Meredith won. This sh*t will give me nightmares. 

And we will end with out fav Presidential candidate taking his kids out for trick o treat (surrounded by security).

How was your Halloween? Mine was pretty uneventful. I established my goal of drunkenness due to Jameson *place gold star*. I also went to my first Halloween Parade in the village. The crowd was overwhelming, so I immediately left after I saw the Thriller Zombies dance (which made me clap like a little kid), but I will never go again. Other than that...it was pretty lame. No costume. No candy. 

I'm getting old and boring. 

I'm at work on a Saturday.

this is an epic f*ck you to the world.

oh yeah...Yom Kippur

I almost forgot...

Sure...the fair people of the Jewish religion just got a few days off last week, but hey...who am I to judge. I'm just one of the 8 gentiles sitting here in an office off of Madison Ave which has come to a complete and utter stand still. I just went to refill my coffee and I had to wait behind a tumble weed (ba-dum-ching..."im here all week.")

But hey...atleast I got to eat today. You should've saw the exodus from our office yesterday around 4pm.

My day so far.....

• for the second day in a row, my dunkin donuts lady tried to up-sell me this morning. I get the same thing everyday, but for some odd reason she keeps asking me if I want a coconut donut with my coffee. Which makes no sense...because no one else is being asked that. I have never brought a donut from them before. And I hate coconut. It kinda pissed me off, because I have also noticed that the coffee price went from a convenient $2.05 to a horrid $2.27. I mean...who has 27 cents lying around? And who likes coconut donuts?
• I then spilled my large coffee all over my keyboard. This is the second time I have done this within a month...
• I played online tetris for about 2 hours.
• And I have listened to the entire White Album at least three times.
  

And that's it. A good Yom Kippur to me. And to you.

Cheers.

sometimes, I just feel like doing this to some people...

*minus the yellow jump suit (mine would be blue).

UPDATE: Or just watching it. It makes me feel like 10 times better about the day. Monkey tongues and cheesecake.

this is how work is making me feel right now.

"i will f*cking fight you, dude."

or

Me: "So that's it, my idea."

co-worker: "I dont know if this logo line lock up is working for me."

Me: "Well...keep in mind that it's just a template."

co-worker: "But the lock up...and I'm not sure about that color..."

 ::commence xena warrior cry::

either or.

photo credits: fffound

the little things: new yorker.

there was a brief time when I arrived back in NY, when I thought that I would never get over my withdraw of the lovely city of chicago.

I got my dream job. But I had to leave my Chi-town behind. I spent many days wishing I was on an elevated train system (as opposed to an underground one). I missed the days when going north meant you where going to the white part of town (and vis versa). I missed the Midwest life truth which stated that leaving my house for a beer on a Friday night, almost simultaneously began the universal count down  to the inevitable hearing of one of the following (all, if I was lucky) songs : Sweet Carolina, Dont Stop Believing, or Living on a Prayer.

Oh yeah...and I missed my friends (cry me a river).

But as the months have passed...and I have been steadily gaining back all the Chinese food pounds  that I thought I left behind in the past....I have began acclimating back into my daily NY routines.

And today, I realized I was a full New Yorker again.

As I was walking to my train, and elderly man was hobbling in front of me....taking his time and going very slowly.

As I passed him, the first thing I thought to myself was: 

"Well if anything, I'll definitely get your seat."

I felt bad...but then I got a seat.

Not the proudest moment in my life. But....Im back b*tches.

olympic ads from yours truly.

i drew my inspiration from a critically acclaimed ad campaign of 2007-2008.

a little reference for this last ad.

What can I say.....the international games have inspired me.

House of Cards. Radiohead.

not gonna fib...im a little hung over today. Also, Im turning into a radiohead fan.



cant wait to put my head on my pillow. its so loud in my office.

work/career.

It is only 10:30 in the morning and I have eaten 5 donuts. Five. But you know what...its my bday, so I can do that if I want. My boss (soon to be ex-boss) brought them in for me knowing my unconditional love and craving for donuts with pink frosting and sprinkles. And that was kind. So, I wanted to clear the script a little. Though I spend a majority of work day perusing the Internet and posting blogs, I will miss this place. In fact, I will miss the following things about my Chicago full time job, in no particular order.


1- The people. A strange mix of frat boy/jocks, nerds, JAPs and maladjusted middle aged personas with chismo up the wazzu. I will miss that guy in accounting who clips his fingernails at work every three days (causing me to leave my desk for 5 minutes). I will miss the office scandals. I will miss my running coach who simultaneously made me into a runner and then gave me a crippling injury. I will miss the lovable angry IT guy. And I will def miss my only black Chicago friend.

2- The Haunted Men's Stall. On the 7th floor men's bathrooms, third stall to the left. No matter how well you lock the door. Halfway through you doing your business, it mysteriously opens. I like to think that a man died locked in the stall, and so he opens up the door so that no one else suffers the same fate. He's must have been retarded to die in that stall, there's like 10 thousand ways to escape, but he is still super friendly. Ill miss you haunted stall.

3- The HR perks. Sure I have spent endless hours planning and doing mindless work for all of the events we have put together. But I always come out on top. Maybe I'm coming home with a platter of left over Jimmy Johns sandwiches or 2 cases of foreign beer. Maybe I'm the first one to the actual event, so that I can get drunk before the CEO gets there. Sure, Ill go to the tasting. I have the pallet of a 2 year old, but "this is delicious, I wish they would've added something to combat the tangy flavor...but the texture is divine." Yeah, Ill miss that.

4- Crazy Bob. You are indeed the craziest person I have ever met. I cant even put you in number 1. You get your own number. You can talk about anything for hours, even if no one is listening. You are madly in love with your boss, but simultaneously hate the female kind. Everyone avoids you. But you are oblivious to it all. My secrete Bob, is that I wanted you to confront me with the same foolishness that you've used on other people in the office, so I could let you know a thing or two about yourself. But alas, we end on a good note Bob. I will miss your daily crazy.

5- Tortilla soup Wednesday. Oh man...the cafeteria on the 5th floor makes the best tortilla soups only on Wednesday. Its like they have a contingent of illegal Mexicans in the back just cooking up a storm.....oh wait, they do. They also make the bomb fresh Oatmeal raisin cookies. That's word.



But with every thing in life comes positives and negatives. I am starting my career...but I will have to readjust myself, make people like me before I show them the real me and prove myself as a young creative mind. Im not just working to work anymore. But that same job, this job...no matter how mindless it sometimes was, and no matter how bored I sometimes got, it created for me a place comfort. A weird mix of individuality, accomplishment and pride came from it. I was supporting myself in a foreign city. I felt good. Paid my bills. Lived in a city that was not home. Ill miss it, truly.

birthday slut!

My mom called me at 6am this morning to wish me a happy Birthday. I was then forced to explain to her that noone's birthday is worth a 6am wake-up call.

She then called me back 6:30am to try again. Everyone is a comedian.

Happy BDay to me!

P.S. I might break some blogging rules today...it is my bday after all.