Kayne will but a CAP in yo ass (Part 2)....

"This spaz comes courtesy of losers making fake Kanye West Twitter accounts) I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER... WHY WOULD I USE TWITTER??? I ONLY BLOG 5 PERCENT OF WHAT I'M UP TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. I'M ACTUALLY SLOW DELIVERING CONTENT BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY ACTUALLY BUSY BEING CREATIVE MOST OF THE TIME AND IF I'M NOT AND I'M JUST LAYING ON A BEACH I WOULDN'T TELL THE WORLD. EVERYTHING THAT TWITTER OFFERS I NEED LESS OF. THE PEOPLE AT TWITTER KNOW I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER SO FOR THEM TO ALLOW SOMEONE TO POSE AS ME AND ACCUMULATE OVER A MILLION NAMES IS IRRESPONSIBLE AND DECEITFUL TO THERE FAITHFUL USERS. REPEAT... THE HEADS OF TWITTER KNEW I DIDN'T HAVE A TWITTER AND THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHICH ACCOUNTS HAVE HIGH ACTIVITY ON THEM. IT'S A FUCKING FARCE AND IT MAKES ME QUESTION WHAT OTHER SO CALLED CELEBRITY TWITTERS ARE ACTUALLY REAL OR FAKE. HEY TWITTER, TAKE THE SO CALLED KANYE WEST TWITTER DOWN NOW .... WHY? ... BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!!"

-Kanye West posts on his blog.

...about Twitter of all things. I mean, I dont like Twitter either. But you dont see me over doing the CAPSLOCK on my blog posts, do you? (P.S. and because you did it on purpose, doesn't make using capslock cooler) Then again people aren't creating fake twitter accounts over me.

one love.

"He still has to mature...I would love him to show more respect for his competitors. That's not the way we perceive being a champion. But he will learn in time. He should shake hands with his competitors and not ignore them. He'll learn that sooner or later. But (he's) a great athlete, of course....That's not the way we perceive being a champion."

- Jaques Rogg 

(International Olympic Comette Chief) on Usain Bolts after victory lack of class.

First things first....Usain Bolt is the fastest man in the world. He broke three world records. He is...a god (though not the Worlds Greatest Athlete [the Decathlon]...omg, meet my new life goal).

But anyway, the genius bloggers at yesbutnobutyes brought this to my attention, and I do understand where Jaques Rogg is going with his statement. A little composure and "well done" hand shakes would've been nice. But is it really that big of a deal that you have to denounce anOlympic gold medalist not even a day after he won? Is it weighing that heavy on your (and the Olympic committees') heart?

I find it interesting that the antics of the US men's gymnastic team when they won bronze last week, still has not hit the mainstream media, and probably wont...ever. I didnt write a blog about it, but in summation, they were all acting like hoodlums. "This is how we roll." "I rock the US of A on my chest." I was embarrassed for them. But some how, Usain's barefoot victory lap and ragga sway earned him a seat on the Olympic naughty list?

While the comment section at yesbutnobutyes was plagued with "isnt there bigger problems/you stupid americans dont get it" responses, I find it interesting that they picked the 22 yr old Jamaican kid to make an example out of. Why him? Why did this particular athlete rouse your emotions? And was it really that bad or just something you aren't use to?

Meanwhile, journalist and activist are literally disappearing in China.

Im just saying.

P.S. I cant wait to bring this up at my barbershop....they are all Jamaican. And they are going to have a field day with this.

olympic ads from yours truly II.

just some more great ads from me for the Olympic games. 

       Hoodlums.

olympic ads from yours truly.

i drew my inspiration from a critically acclaimed ad campaign of 2007-2008.

a little reference for this last ad.

What can I say.....the international games have inspired me.

work/career.

It is only 10:30 in the morning and I have eaten 5 donuts. Five. But you know what...its my bday, so I can do that if I want. My boss (soon to be ex-boss) brought them in for me knowing my unconditional love and craving for donuts with pink frosting and sprinkles. And that was kind. So, I wanted to clear the script a little. Though I spend a majority of work day perusing the Internet and posting blogs, I will miss this place. In fact, I will miss the following things about my Chicago full time job, in no particular order.


1- The people. A strange mix of frat boy/jocks, nerds, JAPs and maladjusted middle aged personas with chismo up the wazzu. I will miss that guy in accounting who clips his fingernails at work every three days (causing me to leave my desk for 5 minutes). I will miss the office scandals. I will miss my running coach who simultaneously made me into a runner and then gave me a crippling injury. I will miss the lovable angry IT guy. And I will def miss my only black Chicago friend.

2- The Haunted Men's Stall. On the 7th floor men's bathrooms, third stall to the left. No matter how well you lock the door. Halfway through you doing your business, it mysteriously opens. I like to think that a man died locked in the stall, and so he opens up the door so that no one else suffers the same fate. He's must have been retarded to die in that stall, there's like 10 thousand ways to escape, but he is still super friendly. Ill miss you haunted stall.

3- The HR perks. Sure I have spent endless hours planning and doing mindless work for all of the events we have put together. But I always come out on top. Maybe I'm coming home with a platter of left over Jimmy Johns sandwiches or 2 cases of foreign beer. Maybe I'm the first one to the actual event, so that I can get drunk before the CEO gets there. Sure, Ill go to the tasting. I have the pallet of a 2 year old, but "this is delicious, I wish they would've added something to combat the tangy flavor...but the texture is divine." Yeah, Ill miss that.

4- Crazy Bob. You are indeed the craziest person I have ever met. I cant even put you in number 1. You get your own number. You can talk about anything for hours, even if no one is listening. You are madly in love with your boss, but simultaneously hate the female kind. Everyone avoids you. But you are oblivious to it all. My secrete Bob, is that I wanted you to confront me with the same foolishness that you've used on other people in the office, so I could let you know a thing or two about yourself. But alas, we end on a good note Bob. I will miss your daily crazy.

5- Tortilla soup Wednesday. Oh man...the cafeteria on the 5th floor makes the best tortilla soups only on Wednesday. Its like they have a contingent of illegal Mexicans in the back just cooking up a storm.....oh wait, they do. They also make the bomb fresh Oatmeal raisin cookies. That's word.



But with every thing in life comes positives and negatives. I am starting my career...but I will have to readjust myself, make people like me before I show them the real me and prove myself as a young creative mind. Im not just working to work anymore. But that same job, this job...no matter how mindless it sometimes was, and no matter how bored I sometimes got, it created for me a place comfort. A weird mix of individuality, accomplishment and pride came from it. I was supporting myself in a foreign city. I felt good. Paid my bills. Lived in a city that was not home. Ill miss it, truly.

both sides of the track.

Ive been meaning to write about this for awhile now. So a new craze is taking over the blogging world. People are starting to make themed blogs (unlike this one) that relate to groups of people, stereotyping and pigeon holding them, all for the sake of comedy. Not a bad idea. And Im not judging...because I enjoy them.

But it all started with this one site. Stuff White People Like. Ive been promoting it on and off throughout this blog as like a side joke, but lets get into the nitty gritty of it. Its actually fairly accurate....more so in the early blogs when it was establishing itself. Things like "study abroad" and "outdoor performance gear":

"The main reason why white people like these clothes is that it allows them to believe that at any moment they could find themselves with a Thule rack on top of their car headed to a national park. It could be 4:00 p.m. on a Saturday when they might get a call “hey man, you know what we need to do? Kayak then camping, right now. I’m on my way to get you, there is no time to change clothes.”"

I mean...come one, that's funny. Even if you think its a bit racist...it's well written (which we all know negates racism entirely) and clever so you have to smile. "Oscar Parties" , "Gentrification", "Difficult Breakups", "Sushi", "Arrested development" , "Hating Their Parents", "Expensive Sandwiches", "Co-ed Sports" and my personal favorite...."Having Black Friends". Oh..."And Running Marathons."

But now, there are all these side sites trying to replicate the genius that is that blog. Stuff Educated Black People Like, isnt as funny. But instead tries to touch on serious social issues, especially defining the line between the educated and the uneducated. Though I must say....black people do love themselves some "Grown and Sexy Events" , it gives us a reason to "Dress Up." And face book definitely was what was up pre-2005...before anyone and everyone could join (keep in mind that BU was up there as one of the first school...I use to be on that thing every night all night).

Stuff White People Like also has a direct opponent called "Stuff Conservatives Like" which has made it their prime agenda to disprove the prior site. "Stuff Christians Like" also chimes in on the life and time of real church folk.

So, in light of all these blogs...where do we all stand? I mean, Im in between all of them I can claim at least a few things on each list. But I can also disclaim alot more. I consider myself and educated black person...but I'm all about the 1st and the 15th (Pay day B*tches!!!!!!!!!!!) but I dislike the idea of ethnic frats and sororities. I like myself a good breakfast place like white people...and love myself some Northface (but not for the reason of going outdoors). Im a christian...I believe in self awareness and the spirituality that the institution should foster. Im not into the institution itself. Im black...and I run marathons.

I mean...blog readers....who am I?

Anyone wanna for for a Martini after work tonight? If anything...I'm definitely a drunk.

passive aggressive.

we had an incident fairly recently in my house hold where passive aggressive notes were left around the house to be analyzed and warped into a dramatic roommate smack down. While it didnt go that far (not far enough in my opinion), I was able to find...and by find, I mean steal some great examples of passive aggressive notes left behind.

Post-it vs 8 1/2 x 11

You have to read ALL of this. If you cant see it. Click here. The 81/2 x 11 sheet of paper gets pretty deep. Good choice for rebuttal. I smell fisticuffs.

"Chef Picture-Seriously, why would you even think this was your." lol, great.

Note to Clarify a Note

Who uses some one's bar of soap? That's like illegal. And Im thinking that's $.75 is toward washing her skid marked draws....lol. "P.S. NASTY"

F*ck the Police

Word. Slackers.

Tip?

Im pretty sure its up to me to decipher whether your restaurant is special or not.

Everyone loves a little note directed at then in the AM or after a crappy day at work. Just be prepared for some sort of reaction. That's all.

slag?

So, I was doing my daily celeb gossip review....the superficial.com, dlisted.com, evilbeetgossip.com....I know, I could easily be mistaken for a young white teenage girl from the valley, but f*ck if I care. And I came across a term I am unfamiliar with.

SLAG.

Noami Cambell (the gift that keeps on giving) was quoted as yelling and spitting at the cops at some airport, the last time she was arrested (lol) and using terms such as "slag"...well, "white slag" was what she said. And I thought to myself...I know what white means. But slag is not in my lingo. So I researched.

-The Merriam Dictionary says : the dross or scoria of a metal. (Dross? Scoria?....are these terms from a Dr. Sues novel?)
-Wiki says: is the by-product of smelting ore to purify metals.
-The UK Slang Dictionary says: prostitute.
-Urban Dictionary says: Rubbish that is not worth the time or effort of paying attention to it, but none the less draws one in. Used to describe unpleasant situations.


So, I was thinking....thats pretty good, so I started looking up other terminology....strumpet, bike (someone who has ridden eveyone in the neighborhood), tart, sharlet, tramp, whore, hoe, slut, street walker, pros....trust me...the list goes on.

Mmmhmmmmmm, can we say new vocab.

PS Please take a look at another new term to my ears (since we are on the topic and all)...Chav. Oh my. I think I know people like that.



F*ckin Chav slags!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NKOB

Breaking News.

It's official. New Kids On the Block (sorry NKOB) are back together...and as I waited patiently for video clips of them shucking and jiving on the Today Show, it turns out they did not sing or dance. All I have is this. Come on Meredith. But they are back together. And...well, that's it.

I hope this goes better than the Dru Hill reunion.

More info here.

http://www.nkotb.com/

they are soooo smart, because its 2008, they have changed their name to keep up with the times. You know who else did this? The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT).

"In the year 2000!"

i love science.

and I know you do too. That is why I am posting these picture to keep you abreast with what is happening with our young people today. Let their bright open minds shine. This is our future.

Ok, I have some theories as to what exactly moon babies are.....ok, I actually don't have a clue as to what this kid is talking about. But doesn't it sound mildly racist?

Cystal Meth: Friend or Foe. I'm pretty sure it is foe. Remind me, when/if I become a parent, to make sure my kids dont walk out of the house with something for school that could embarrass my family name. Just, send me a memo (btw, for a meth head...the one in the yellow is kinda hot, no?). The Code of the Meniscus. I would atleast have some care in what he is talking about if that gnarly sweater didn't demand all of my attention. All of my cognitive is used up.

Exreme Wood. Either this kid is a wise ass...or the entire education system as we know it is a joke. I want to make a board titled, "Dangerous Head" or "Cockalicous (Roosters)."
This kid knows all about animal magnetism. I'm sure all the girls are lining up infront of his basement door waiting to play Dungeons and Dragons and caress his pubescent moustache. Mmmmm.
Global Warming- Yeah Right! We need oxygen to breath- Yeah Right! Dogs can't speak- Yeah Right! Gravity-Yeah Right!

This is our future....only marginally worse than all of my science projects.

southside.

things to NOT do the Sunday before work:



-decide that you will celebrate the South Side Irish Day Parade in Chicago with the roommates (especially when they are clearly not working the next day, and you are)


-start drinking cheap whiskey out of a coke bottle at 9am in the morning while on a school bus going down to the south side


-continue drinking whiskey and cokes throughout the entire morning and early afternoon (at one point standing directly infront of a liquor store like a hobo)

-hop out of the bus on the south side, not knowing where you are or how, where and when you are going to get picked up

-bring your digital camera to a drunken parade, ensuring its timely demise due to 6ft drop to the ground via the hands of others

-stand in a line for the use of alley for public urination.

- take shots from the sketchy flasks of random people (also know as strangers) - bonus points if you dont ask what it is that you are drinking

-talk religion and beliefs to your roommate's friend from home (for the second time that weekend...each occurring after bouts of drinking)

- drunkenly spend $10 on Irish paraphernalia that you will never wear again ever in your life. Oh and don't forget that you purchased it off of some man's lawn

- finally get home at 4pm to merely take a nap and get up to go back out

- then stay out drinking and socializing until 4am knowing full well that you have to go to work in a few hours




NOTE: This is a full and complete list of things to do that will ensure you have the worst work day of your life. From me, to you. I almost puked 4 times while writing this blog.

apparently.

According to msn.com, the following is a list of things a man should never do around a woman. Ahem....I am going to clarify a few things. And seeing as how this list seems as if it where written by a woman...please be ensured that mine...is from a man. Ding! One point for me.

NEVER

Reveal how much your car cost.

I mean, I dont own a car right now...but I would imagine that if i did have to pay to get you (girl) on a train, I have the right and will to drop the price ($2.00...$4 if I gotta pay for her to get home) at any given time. And I expect to be reinbursed sexually later in the night. $ wgole dollars worth of loving coming my way. Mmmmm, mmmmm.

Clean your gun.
My idea of the perfect first date. Really...all thats missing is a little Boston Market and the animated classic...lets say, Alladin.


Polish high school trophies (which you still have displayed).
And if they aren't displayed? Listen hun...the good days are few and far in between. A man is to his trophies as a woman is to her bra. Support is needed in this superficial world. Otherwise there are nip slips and unneeded droopiness. We may not be perky and supple like when we were teens...but we can pretend.


Refer to your mother as your best friend.
...Im pretty sure I came out of her womb. You did not. She can be whatever I want her to be...in my eyes. Mind you beeswax lady/

Rap.
I actually really agree with this one. Unless you are Jay Z or Justin Timberlake (yes, I just made them the same caliber), keep your rhyming words to yourself. In fact take that mantra and apply it to everyday life. Stop trying to sell me your silly cds on the street. Callin me "brotha" cause you think that will automatically build trust and respect (and gullibility-ness) and make me giv you $3 of my hard earned money.... whoa! I lost it there for a second. Sorry.

Check out our assistant/roommate/the baby-sitter.
If they are hot. They are hot. Perhaps you should try...out-hotting them.

Question our footwear.
Well, if you didnt look like the wicked witch of the west....we would have no questions

Blow-dry your hair.
So, we are just suppose to everywhere looking all wet hobo-esk. I mean...I personally do not have a problem with this rule...but if you are dating a man with longer hair than your own, that is completely your fault.

Tip less than 20 percent.
What if the service was crappy? Or what is it is 18% in the state you are in? Or what if you ar ein Europe?

Celebrity impressions.
Impressions are a fickle thing. I think that no one should do impressions, unless they are spot on. Sometimes I try to do a french accent and end up with a Chinese one. If you are good at celebrity impressions...you are probably a giant dork but hey, you gotta play up what you got. "Do Jet Li in Crouching Tiger of the Hidden Dragon...."

Impressions of us.
Ha ha...this is the one truly good thing about being in a relationship. There is always a reliable person around to make fun of. And it so happens, impressions of a girl (any girl really) is one of the easiest and most fun things to do in the world. Like breathing, but with way more satisfaction.

Forget to carry cash.
Would you rather a man with cash or credit? It IS 2008 and these new fangled things called banks give away these thin plastic card things...which act in the place of real cash. Same concept, I swear. And if the location doesn't accept card....we dont belong there.

Flip it, flop it, swing it around, tug on it, adjust it, scratch it, or do anything that will remind us that it's just a goofy appendage and not a mystical source of pleasure and satisfaction.
I am not going to lie...it took me awhile to figure out what was going on in this rule. I KNOW you are not trying to talk about the look of sexual organs. Lets not even go there lady.

Wii.
Wait, I am not allowed to play wii? That's just unamerican. If this is true...I think all woman should be confiscated, locked up and tortured for the whereabouts of Bin Laden. Fact.

Scream—at the dog, at the guy who just stole your parking spot, at Bill Belichick. Because, no matter how much Belichick deserves it (cheater!), when we hear you raise your voice, we have an idea of what we're in for.
Ummmm, I personally am not a screamer. But there cannot be a double standard here. Girls scream. That is in their nature. So...if you can do it to me. I should be able to do it to you. Technically speaking.


Talk about former exploits. Ever.
This is a trick see....(think about that is a old school mob voice). Cause dams are always trying to ask us about ours past. Yous are trickters see.

Use the words bitch, slut, tramp, or whore, unless referring to another man.
HA HA. Im sorry all I can do is laugh. Sooooooo....thats kinda a given. But what if we own a female dog?

Tell us you're going to kiss us. (Just get on with it!)
Ill do what ever I want to you bitch slut, tramp whore who is not a man. "Dueces"

-And Im out.

i hate this, this and that.

do you know what time it is? its time for the semi-not so daily rant and rave. I wish I had some crazy wild music and a camera panning in and out. Oh, and an overdressed game babe. Need one of those too.

1. Locker room antics. The idea of a communal showers (YMCA) has always creeped me out (you have to ask why they couldn't just put up a wall). Steam filled naked male comradery never made it into the top ten of my list of things to do (even when I played sports).....but since I have been going to the gym, I have gotten use to the "idea" of the locker room. However, I would like people to stop blatantly abusing the naked privileges. I understand the basic need to be naked and free, but please...lets not hold a convo while you are drying your private parts. And lets put an end to extended long periods of time standing around butt nekkid. They make the long towels to wrap around your waste..ssssoooo you dont have to share your goods with the world. This is not an episode of "highschool football team (generic)" , wrap it up grandpa.

2. I hate bank of america. They are just a bunch of scam artists. They say what ever they want to you over the phone just to get you to comply(sorta like Delta Airlines), and in the mean time they are sucking money away from you in fees. Overdraft fees are the devil, while over draft protection, is like a little evil elf that moves your money without your knowledge...and then charges you. Ugh...I am so tired of getting duped. I feel like im stuck in some terrorist regime and always getting shafted. Honestly, I would rather you beat me relentlessly to a bloody pulp than you continue to take my money and feed me nonsense.

3. I just cant get it off my shoulder...how Beyonce spoke blatant untruths about singers of the past, and gave undue homage to Tina Turner at the Grammys. She was just name dropping away...Lauren Hill, Aretha, Whitney, Diane Ross and she continued..."There is one legend who has the essence of all of those things: the glamour, the soul, the passion, the strength, the talent," Ladies and gentlemen. Stand on your feet and give it up for the queen."....the "queen" being Tina Turner. Now I coulda care less about the Aretha nonsense...but you cannot so lumping together some of the best voices and talents of our times and then have Tina Turner be the trump card. I love Tina. Love her for all of her 3 hit songs. Loved her in Mad Max and in Ike and Tina...How to Beat Your Wife. And I am not debating her queendom...she is a queen in her own right. But she is NOT the queen of singing and not the queen talent. Fin.

4. I'm done with Chicago and its snow. I get it Chicago. You "own this" when it comes to fucking up people's days. I just want to request...from one brotha to another (cause if Chicago was a person, he'd be a hip black guy with a neatly groomed goatee and a stylish vest) lets calm it down with the snow. The cold, I get...it's winter. But the snowing all the time has to come to an end. We are not in Alaska....and I am not equipped mentally for repeated days of snow. If I turn into a psycho killer, tis your fault.

5 There are a few things that everyone (in my opinion) should be in love with. They are: Puppies, Pizza, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the song "Umbrella" by Rihanna and Jay Z. If you currently do not like all of these, I would like to inform you that it is never too late to change. Quit your communist ways and come over to the light side. The right side.


Luv, Shaun

it's all about the angle.

I think it is funny, the amount of pride that the mid-west has. As an East Coaster at heart, I have come to learn the ways, secret codes and passwords that make up the world that is middle America. As, hundreds rock their Indian University shirts, another hundred flock to the local bar to watch the Ohio State vs _______ (insert random ass midwest state here) game. here they care about such things as the Cotton and Orange Bowl, and use terms such as "Lake Effect" and "Pasture". And this...is a good thing. Them thinking that Missouri and Nebraska are actually real locations, that the average person would want to visit and ejoy, is admirable. But the problem lies in this simple fact...

When you inform them that the middle states infact, do not matter...they get all up in arms. So, I just wanted to briefly state some facts.

1. On the east coast...no one knows that your state exists. Infact the only time they do realize it, is if they are getting quizzed on states and capitals in grade school. I dare anyone in the US to act like they never heard of NY.

2. Coolness factor. Or lack there of. I have not met one person from this state or its surrounding that I envy in the slightest. And I am not talking that mean, im gonna get you sucka envy , but in that thats a real cool cat, i wouldnt mind chillin with them sorta envy. I feel like every time I meet someone new, its just an alteration of someone I met earlier. "Are you the twin of?"

3. Chic-less. As born to be western folk...and probably the descendants of some of the most skilled gun slinging cowboys of the West...chic, trendy and ahead of the curve....you guys are not. I have never once been wowed when I went out... here is chicago. Not to say that fashion and culture is not on the forefront here...but damnit, I use to get wowed on the regular in my own town...and I am 23.

4. This one is personal. Girls dress real different here. There are far more dresses. Less high heels (in general). And less tight jeans. And this, makes me sad. Girls are way more homely over here. And thats whap whap. Where are the gals with the tight jeans and high heel boots and fitted winter coats. You knw? dem girls with the pum pum shorts.

And its not like I dont love you middle America. I do, indeed appreciate you, even the states that are clearly Confederate at heart and especially those that import their black people in for sports, and then send them home after 4 years. But you just have to be put in you place. You are nothing more than the glue that keeps the East and West Coast from floating away. And you are a mighty fine glue made of the most precious of gems, but you are not the main attraction.

Love Shaun (from NY)

Disclaimer: It is part of my new year resolution to not write blogs with references to real people or situations...so, let it be said on record that there is no real or actual person I know that this blog referes to.

octo-america

Just thought I would share. Cause I care. And 08 is all about sharing and caring. Share and Care in 08.

Octo dog. What is better than like 3 ounces of processed meat, shaped phalecally, with the magical ability to become completely cooked within 3 minutes? Well, 3 ounces of magically cooked meat shaped as a squid (to your left). Because lord knows, if there was anything in the world, that I would want to see change, improve and infused with the creative juices (ewww!), it is the hotdog. Please, turn my hot dog into a octopus. Please, make in animatronic so that we can do stuff together. Please, poke little holes into him, representing eyeballs. I like when my meal stares at me. I like to eat transspecies specimens..."Pick a side, pick a side". Out of all the creative things that could be discussed, changed and altered for some use....this Octo-meat.....is the cream of the crop. Keep it coming inventors.....keep it coming.

Only is the great nation of America.

America...."f*ck Yeah"

pigeon colonies.

Every day, I wake up at the same time. I brush my teeth the same way and check the weather on the same station. I close my front gate and speed walk to my train. Along the same path in the exact same way. I stare blankly at the opposing "L" platform waiting for the same train to take me to the same place and ask myself..."Why would people need to go north to get to work?" It just never seems to never make sense at this hour. 7:30 am...everyday.I get off at the same station. And at the bottom of the stairs, am surrounded by the same people push and shoving and living on my heels. I step to the side, light a cigarette and watch the festering of pigeons that always huddle under the same over pass.

Hundreds of them. All of them pecking the wet ground for scraps. Unconscious to the world around them, they perform their routine of randomness...not missing a step. As one pecks down, the other looks up. Two flutter away, and another two take their place. A path is cleared for the brave morning soul that has forgotten the effects of the bird flu. And is filled in immediately after. They have done this before you see. Day after day. The same place and the same actions. The same thoughts and the same responses. Though they all look different and hold their own faint glimpse of individuality, to me they all are the same. Pecking. Mass. Clueless. Monotonous. Drones. Enslaved my life.

And it is this I fear. Not the reality of growing up. Not the impeding threat of failure. Not even the wickedness and fallacy of humanity.

I fear becoming just another pigeon.

always remember....

I am the lead singer. Not you.

Me.

(featuring the roomates and that other kid...based on a real story)

and then.

Elmo is killin it. And I hypothesized before seeing the actual end that Oscar was Caucasian and the Cookie Monster was hispanic. I swear.

What What, In the Butt.

Check those fly dance moves......lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU


-FIN

PS Momma Williams is IN the house. Literally. BAM!

Quote of the Week (amongst other memorable quotations):

"The only thing worse than a hobo, is a hobo underground."

hairy.

It's kind of a problem now. This hair situation. It just does whatever it feels like. It is just long enough to try and rebel, yet...it isn't long enough, for any real ratical movment.

I mean, for example, yesterday it slapped my boss's newborn baby in the face (pretty gangster). And the little red thing, did kinda ask for it. Last night my mom called me, while I was taking a nap. Regular protocol calls for an ignored/missed call until I am truly awake to deal with the "antics." But no... my hair answeres the phone for me and shoves it in my face. Just this morning, I was on a packed train receiving uncomfortable glances from the local regulars...as they have come to accept me upon their daily commuted, but when my hair started throwing bo's and listening to his headphones too loud....they plain and simply, could not handle. It's pure inconsideration at the very least. Who let all that ethnicity on the train anyway?
Yet, there are times that make it all seem worth it. When a long lost friend muffles her mouth only to scream "You are growing your hair out...crazy"...and then adds without even a beckoning, "I like it." And my heart breathes a sigh of relief.


Whatever would I do if you did not?