greased vietnamese stages.

Yeah. You saw right...the Vietnamese have just declared war. They super waxed the floors that Ms America (Crystal Stewart) walked on to ensure her loss at this years Ms Universe contest. And she fell. They knew how super hot she was and were threatened.

Clearly we are fighting the wrong country.
Im just saying.

UPDATE: Ms Venezuela is a post op tranny...to be confirmed in the future. (Wow, I spelled Venezuela right without spell check. Kudos to me.) 

how low can you go.

watch your asses. no seriously. The people of Flint, Michigan need to watch their asses and make sure no one else can. Police Chief Wiggim....I mean  David Dicks has made an announcement that his police officers will start arresting people who expose their underwear in public. 

"Some people call it a fad," said "But I believe it's a national nuisance. It is indecent and thus it is indecent exposure." 

There is of course some racial backlash to this. Cause its basically an African American fad to see how low one can wear their pants and still keep their pimp stroll strong. And some peopleare very successful with this venture. 

Before Obama and the double mint twins (ball cutting Jackson and Al Sharpton) chime in with thier opinions/rhetoric/propaganda, I would like to say that this is a good thing. There is an issue of civil liberties at hand, but for the most part I personally dont want to know what color man panties my train conductor wears. Maybe there is a middle ground. But one thing is for certain....an addition needs to be made to this law concerning females and their inclination to wear "low rise" clothing with their thong handles showing. I would like to bypass the issue of race and let known the certain actions of sexism that is occurring here in the US. This...is a real issue. This...is my platform. "I have a dream....."

Shaun in 08' (or 12....my advisors just told me that I probably need to get my own apartment b4 I try to run the country and right the wrongs of low rise ).

But seriously, just pull your pants up people- that's what grown ups do.

queens weekend.

Good Monday to you dear reader. I hope you had a fun and safe weekend. I sure did. It seems that I am finally getting out of my "missing Chicago" mood. And all it took was one good weekend of debauchery cruising the street of New York and Queens. Yes, Queens. I spent much time (perhaps too much) is the unknown borough of New York. I went flat screen shopping. To be exact...I went 46 inch LCD flat screen shopping. Seeing as how I can barely feed myself, it wasn't for me...but for some reason I felt rich just going from store to store and adding my valuable input. Do you know the difference between plasmas and LCDs? No? Well I do. In your face!

But otherwise, New York is treating me alright right now. There is an added value to coming back home an reconnecting with old friends. I dont have to impress anyone, they already know that everything is not right in my cerebral cortex. Any they accept it. And we take jameson shots as a sign of good health and love. If you are in NY and you havnt taken jamo shots with me...no worries...your time will come. In the mean time...here is a little serenade for and from the big city. I have some real work to do this morning...but Ill get to the entertainment in a bit. 

Sly Fox. Nas.

Nas has a little something to say about FOX (the news channel). Stab...stab....staaaaabbbbb.



Political rappers? No....focused political rappers? I respect that. And I am also now informed. Thats 2 for Nas. Im impressed, shocked, entertained and elated at the same time. Its time for Jay to step to the mic now. Topic...The View. Or better yet, Apple (how about you make a product that works correctly the first time/generation?).

irish ads in boston.

Or maybe its because you get me f*cked up.

the step boy bands.

There was NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys. Successes in their own right. Hit after hit after hit. They made those tweens throw their fruit of the loom panties up on the stage as soon as they opened their mouths. I may or may not own an album from one of said groupies. Well Throwback Thursday is not here to remember them this day. Today we bring you the bands that didn't make it.

98 degrees. With hits like Its the Hardest Thing and I Do its no wonder why these guys had their hot streak. But at some point, something fell off about them. They lost momentum. I mean...there are 4 of them, Ive only seen 2 in the past decade. Are the other 2 dead? Whatever the case, Ive figured out why they didnt make it. Theire utter demise can be blamed on their uni-hair color. Everyone knows you need a blond to make the group really work. Duh.

Ummmmm, O-town. Come one people. These guys had what it took for utter fame and fortune. The video below changed my life. Not so much for the follow up....Liquid Dream.  But you cant give them all winners? What about We Fit Together? TRL anyone? Anyone?

 

Thats all I have....do you guys have any more? My mind escapes me. 

finally, beating the man.

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obama nuts to be cut.

Im no genius. I am not a public speaker that circuits media outlets. I probably couldn't ever do what politicians and cultural "leaders" do (out of pure laziness). But I do know that perhaps whispering disparaging remarks about someone should maybe NOT be done on set. Below is Obama supporter Jesse Jackson talkin sh*t on a hot mic (i.e. he didnt know the mic was on). Whoopsi!



When are black people going to realize that "being black" doesnt mean sharing the same beliefs? This is juvenile.

This also leads me to believe (due to recent events) that there is a black market of sorts for these on screen mishaps. And apparently newscasters and guests alike are use to "just talkin sh*t" when the screens and mics aren't on. And its been going on for years. Of course fox news would release this...

Apologies here.

accessories = music.

Ray Ban has got some new print ads out according to copyranter. He slights them for merely replacing circles with the sun glass shape. I think they are cool. But then again they are a "art directors dream." And I just happen to be one.

But to his point, creative doesn't always have to be cerebral and all up in your emotions. These are quick and simple and easy to remember. Are they on target? That's debatable. As is, there is no real connection between music and eye wear. The line(-like) "Never Hide" kinda says something. Maybe music and Ray Ban shades are both _______ . 

I dunno...you tell me. It sounds like a copywriters problem to me.

Here's some more. Im really feelin the skull one. If it were a graphic tee...i'd rock it. And I kinda despise graphic tees. 

the wutang.

its stuff like this that makes me wish that we lived in a better world.

As soon as that little girl did a split to the ground I knew in that moment that she had no future. See what dancing has the power to do?

What do we think about a danceocide? Suggestions? Comments? Concerns?

drop the mic.

If you didnt die laughing at the picture alone...the following will alteast have you crumpled over to the floor gasping for air...atleast. Make sure you are by your phone for easy access you EMT (no area code needed on cellphones-duh!). Remember that sex tape that came out of Vern the midget from the Austin Powers movies...well here is what that self respecting girl has to say about his "love making" abilities....

On sex in general with a midget:
"So I'd lie on the bed and Verne would crawl up my legs to have sex with me. And as he did it his feet would be tickling my knees! It wasn't quite as passionate as sex with a normal-sized man but he did his best. He didn't wear a condom. There was no point, they're all too big. On the whole though, he wasn't short of sexy skills and tried his hardest to make up in technique what he lacked in size."

On their first time and the Mini-Me's magical rebound skills:
"I had no complaints. But the whole thing was over in three minutes. It was strange having sex with someone who couldn't reach to kiss me at the same time, except for my tummy that is! I was so relieved it was over. But minutes later Verne was ready to go again. That night we made love three times in 20 minutes, which most bigger men only dream about doing."

On why midget's prefer sex on dry land:
"I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub," she said. "Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in. But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn't see him."

Remember that scene in Coming to America where that performer drops the mic? Yes, that is exactly what I just did after copying and pasting that story. And now I will talk away....no further commentary needed . (she almost drowned him in the tub, holy f*ckin hysterical balls). 

UPDATE: It has come to my attention that you may not know what I mean. This is the scene  I am referring to. 

absolutely a bad spokesperson.

OK, so I originally saw this spot featuring the all mighty Kanye at a bar. It was on mute. And I pointed at it and heckled it from afar. I told my drinking partner that Kanye was "so f*ckin stupid" and that "he was trying to have an all wacked out spot like in crazy japan."

As it turns out its just a viral  campaign- which confuses me, because I originally saw it on espn...but whatever. You are suppose to go to bekanyenow.com (which I still haven't done). Its for Absolute vodka. Because in an absolute world we would all be cocky ass holes with too much money.

VIA Radar

In there article they try to talk sh*t on absolute vodka. An old teacher of mine taught me a long time ago that you cannot tell the difference in vodkas. Chill them..and they all taste the same. FACT/LIFE LESSON.

Your welcome. 

snuff ads

Duncan Quinn makes suits. Mens Suits. That's clothing right? Well explain this Duncan.

One could conclude that you use fashion as a front for say... a website of death. You have an encrypted url that only goes out to the richest of richest where they watch and perhaps even make tortuous suggestions about a scantly clad woman's life. And then at the end of the entire ordeal...you mail them an silk ascot perhaps-free of charge.

Someone could think that. However, I just think you are an idiot that got duped into making an offensive and stupid print ad.

So sorry. You tried to push the envelope, but instead...you pooped on it ended up setting that sh*t aflame.

hate, is a strong word.

As if we wouldnt get hold of this. 

good ad.

simply put. this is well done.