My Facebook friends get alot of letters.

And they post them on line. Good bless them.

Letter #1- The Kind Weed-head Artist

My friend asked her neighbor to crack a window if they are going to smoke weed all day, everyday. Reasonable request, it's not like you are asking them to quite being a weed head. Hand writing is a mess though...as in he might have been writing this while he was high.

Letter #2- We "Refuse"

The second, is from the lab table of a group of highschoolers. My friend is a teacher, and I'm guessing after he threatened to separate them...they decided to form a coup. Little monsters.

Both are genius in thier own right. But I did tell friend #2 that he needs to lay down the law in his class. While cute, the classroom is not a democracy. It is a dictatorship....atleast when I was in school, it was.

I Love my Friends: Jason.

So...one of my genius friends from New England raised a provocative, yet logical question on facebook last week. He has a rep for a certain type of question. The last one of this grandeur was "What would win in a fight....a bear of a killer whale if they where both standing in 4 ft of water?" Tough right? Well this time he set himself to the face book status. And he supplied ups with this brilliance:

Who would win in a fight, Aang from Avatar:The last Air Bender or Goku from Dragon Ball Z?

And this lengthy status debate was what followed went on for several days:

Though the names have been changed to protect the innocent and their views...I am the one with Mojo Jojo as my profile picture. Some major quotes from perhaps the best debate I have had in months. A few jems in the convo:

no, Avatar has the ability to control the Elements. Goku can shatter the planet right from under him with the spirit bomb. and remember UNLIKE Goku, Aang isnt superhuman or can resist massive physical injury. the instant transmission and a Kamehameha wave would Kill AAng

He controls the elements that runs the planet man...everything that goku thouches avatar controls...plus that spirit bomb takes time to charge up...the avatar aint goin to sit there and let him charge that shit up.

dude, have you even watched Dragonball? Goku BLEW UP AN ENTIRE MOUNTAIN WHEN HE WAS ONLY 6!!!!!!

Less you forget, Ang can water bend. If we break it down, all beings are made up of at least 90% water or something. All ang has to do is remove all water from goku's body and he is DONE!!!

um.. again those are HUMANS, NOT ALIENS. the part that you guys are missing is that most of the stuff that aang has done to affect humans.

With life being as busy as it is now for us 90's babies.....convos like this are once in a life time. Luckily, I have aligned myself with friends that ask trivial yet completely relevent stuff like this. More importantly....what do you think? Who would win?

Planning.

every so often, galaxies collide and monkeys share worm soup out of bowls made from leaves (Disney Tarzan reference) together and I get a girlfriend that completely ignores my shenanigans. To prove this...the conversation below. BTW, I've decided not to share my girlsfriend's name...as the worldwide Internet is a scary and dark place filled predators. But yeah...this should sum up our relationship as a whole. I'm just a big idiot...and she plays along. This should get me some browny points. YESSSS!!!!

me: wat do you want to do this weekend? im thinking ahead. planning

her:i dunno...haven't thought that far ahead yet. wow....planning? impressive

me: i know...i learned that word from you. not to sure what it entails though

her: lol

me: i think its french for "to drink"

her: yes us "suits' are famous for planning. 3:03 PM

her: it means you will look into some ideas, research the options, run them by the parties involved and make a decision

me: so youve accepted your suit title finally?

me: like literally "run" them by you.

her: ummm no. just using the term to support my claim

me: like...slow jog?

her:: slow jog or skip is ok

me: ewww, skip

her: if you run i may not catch the ideas

me: skip, havnt done that in years

me: catch? like, i get to throw them at you

her: lol. sure

me: can you catch?

her: yes...for the most part. long as you're not throwing anything sharp or slippery. but back to the weekend plans....not sure yet. hope the weather is good though...whatever we end up doing.

me: so...your saying that one could not plan on a day inwhich the weather was bad. this planning thing is getting confusing

her: lol

her: just saying that there is more motivation to do something that involves leaving the house if it is not raining. but let me think about the weekend and get back to you i guess. you think of some options too

me: nope...im done with this planning thing. to much work.

the patience of a saint (accepting my ignorance and lack of spell check) . 

Friends: Dan

So...I have a shirt that says, "You Are What You Eat." I brought it because it was $7 at Old Navy and I liked the color and centered typeface (<--ad geek). I don't like to wear it out because I ALWAYS run into some wise guy that makes a pu**y joke. Ridiculous right? But anyway, conversely I believe that "You Are Who You Hang Out With."

Now....very recently a few friends were sending around the "Did You Know" video via facebook. After scolding them for not reading my blog (cause I posted that video months ago), I elaborated on a joke about my friend Dan "liking" Jada Pinkette Smith. I may have perhaps related his new found "like" to reverse racism. And at the same time I schooled them on broadband in Bermuda and exactly how fast it is-which I have experienced.

His exact facebook message response:

Jada Pinkett loves my Broadband penetration. She's always trying to sign on to my shit. I look at her and I'm like listen i’m currently in offline mode and can’t browse the web.

But I gotta tell you about this one time when she needed an upgrade and I delivered..

….So i take out my 16 GHz Pentium processor and insert it gently in to her motherboard.. right away she's turned on.

Loading..

I can feel her fans trying cool me down... It’s no use.. i'm just too much, too fast, too powerful..

Still loading

She asks me for a password.. I look at her I say BitcH? What Password???

Then i remembered.... "y2K"..

I give her the secret password. She loves that dirty talk.

still loading..

All of a sudden she bursts with life and activity, memory and programs…Her fans go wild... it's to late for antivirus protection now..

Still loading...

Just before she's ready we look right in to each other and she sings me a beautiful melodious welcome to windows song..

It’s too much…YESSS!!!... JAVA SCRIPT EVERYWHERE!!!

and then out of nowhere a Blue Screen flashes just before my eyes...

As soon I realized what happened I shut her down and acted like it never happen.

ahhhhhhh i think I've gone too far.

And that....is my friend Dan.