i quit.

the fact that I have taken the time to even copy and paste this, should tell you the state of mind I am in right now, at 2am in the morning, when I have casually convinced myself that "the man" is running my life.

taken and formally redistributed from quityourjobday.com . Which unfortunately has passed, but like I always say... better late than never. You should especially quit your job if you are an AD at a big agency in NY or Chi-town. Then send me an email. it isnt all of them, but here are the few I admire.

The No Show
It's Monday morning and your alarm clock is buzzing, ringing, or playing a radio station. Your normal routine might have you slapping the snooze button a few times and tricking yourself out of bed with the promise of coffee. However this morning is Quit Your Job Day. This morning instead of hitting the snooze button, you unplug the clock. And the phone. And depending on how invasive your manager is, your door bell. This is by far the easiest way to quit your job, as it requires the absolute minimum of effort on your part. Sleep well into the afternoon knowing that you've terminated a job well done.

In Cube Vacation
This method requires a little bit of timing and a near intimate knowledge of your employer. It should not be attempted by amateurs. Starting one to five weeks before Quit Your Job Day, simply stop doing any meaningful work. Spend your time decorating your cube with pictures of vacation spots, turn your Internet radio to Hawaiian music, and sneak in a sun lamp. Sand on the floor would be a nice touch. When asked about the current state of any give project state that it's "being worked on" or "should be finished late next week." Either your boss will notice your strange behavior and you'll end up having to explain yourself or, if you are very lucky, the bureaucracy in your office is so deep that your shenanigans will go unnoticed. If confronted immediately apologize and say that you had hoped that your problems had not affected your work performance. Ask for the rest of the day off as a mental health day, and explain that you have another appointment with your doctor tomorrow. Never go back to work.


Reverse Firing
In the corporate world you often get reviewed for your performance. The meetings are uncomfortable affairs where your manager goes down a checklist of things that 'could use improvement'. On Quit Your Job Day, you'll be calling a review meeting of your own. Create a list of things the company needs improvement in. Watch your manager squirm as you point out bad health benefits, impenetrable paperwork, inhuman working environments and other OSHA related problems. At the end of your review look your manager straight in the eye and ask 'What would you do if you were me?', pause and then announce 'I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go.'

Lunch Escape
For the timid, the lunch escape may provide the ideal solution. Plan a large lunch with your closest allies and friends from work. The location should be some place casual that serves alcohol. Mexican restaurants are ideal. During lunch casually mention that it's Quit Your Job Day, and remember that you have some brochures you downloaded from the web site. Joke about not going back to work after lunch while simultaneously buying the next round. If someone suggests heading back, accuse them of trying to avoid buying their round of drinks. Pretty soon you'll all be looking for new jobs.

So...I would be straight up lying to you (by omission) if I didnt tell you that my next website viewing will be about the bombing of pearl harbor and the germans.

-FIN

PS, If you need an example of a resignation letter, here is Richard Nixons, use it as your muse.