BET Awards 2011.

So, I tried to watch the BET awards last night. But lets be honest...True Blood was premiering. BET didn't have a chance. But I still you all a favor. Save 4 hours of your life, and check the highlights below. The performances.

DJ Khaled, Drake, Rick Ross, Lil Wayne perform “I’m on One”

Trey Songs, Kelly Rowland "Motivation."

Alicia Keys/Bruno Mars

Chris Brown...lets just take a second to ponder upon Chris Browns outfit, can we?

Two words.....Cool World.

Tribute to Patty Labelle....who knew that one girl from Floetry (Marsha?) could sing like that? OK.


And ofcourse...Queen beyonce. Songs may be lacking at times, but when she performs...she brings it.

De Nada.

Theatre isn't just for Gays anymore.

Neil Patrick Harris’ 2011 Tony Awards. Well done.

The Link Down.

1. Rapture fail.

2. United seems to have forgotten that Ground Zero and planes....do not go hand in hand.

3. It must be nice to be so famous and rich, that it doesn't even matter how crappy your song is. But still....crazy perfomance all-in-all.

4. If Theo Hucktable just waited 20 years...

5. Holy 500-foot-tall Christ.

6. Joan Holloway puts an end to the rumors.

7. Conan has a movie coming out. Inwhich he asks us all to feel sorry for him after the fact. Eh, I'll netflix it.

8. This isn't awkward.

9. "Where are all the black people?" And before you get too snarkly...they mean, in advertising.

Too much.

Lady Gaga walked the red carpet at the Grammys this year in an egg. And then performed as the yoke of that egg.

::blank stare::

VIA dlisted

Where are they Now/Soul Train Awards 2010.

I know...usually I do a recap of the award show. Brief, but also indepth. But i would like to merge my recap with a throw back and then divide it by a Where are They Now (which I started years ago but never kept up cause it was alot of research). You see. Last Monday night....I decided to watch the Jets game with the gf (she's from the New England area ::caugh::booo::cough). But as football games tend to take forever to start, we started flipping channels, and we stumbled upon the 2010 Soul Train Awards. Trust me...I wasn't actively looking for it.

But a few nuggets before I get to the meat of this post:

Terrance (sketchy) Howard and Taraji (reminds me of my bfs highschool girlfreind) P. Hensen hosted the award show. And among the ridiculous antics they dreamt up, they decided to so a dance battle...girls vs boys (cause that's what black folks do). Below is the outcome.

And my response (as funny as it was), you are too damn old for skits like this.

Erykah Badu showed up out of nowhere looking like rag doll Oliver asking for more pourage. And then felt the need to clear up some facts via tweet.

Phew. Thanks for clearing up something so relevant that we ALL care about since your dive into obscurity. This is why I hate twitter.

And then Wold Blizter accepted the award on behalf of Eminem's best hip hop song of the year. Insert running black "they all look alike joke here." CNN's Wolf Blitzer , Dougie Fresh and Biz Mar Kee on the same stage?How can it get any better you ask? Wolf did the Dougie. Zinnngggg.

Now to the meat an potatoes. Ruddy and Olivia from the Cosby show.

Remember these cute little bunnies? Now I know....all kids must grow up.

I have even seen each one of them in their separate but equal venues. But they presented and award together at this year's show and my mind almost exploded.

1980's

Now:

I mean...come on. How old do you feel? F*ck.

The only good thing I get out of this realization of my age is that I may have found the following weeks hot chick.

Keisha knight Pulliam (aka Rudy Huxtable).

....which makes me feel kinda dirty, but what evs.

The End.

Kanye at the VMAs.

Kanye at the VMAs .I didnt watch the VMAs cause it was clearly Trueblood night. I was told this was the performance of the night. Having a toast to the douchbags....cheers.

Oh yead, and Taylor Swift is still angry at Kanye, so much so that she wrote and performed a song at this year's VMAs. Sad part...despite the gangsta-ness of it all, the song...is still boring.

Ok...that's all I have about useless pop culture references. I wonder how Chealsea Handler did hosting? Eh.....

The Six Girls of Mad Men attend the Emmys.

Count them....1-2-3-4-5-6.

Just staying true to my promise. That's all I have to say about the Emmys.

I sure as hell dint watch them.

VIA the superficial

The Hottest Girl in the Universe (this year) is Mexican.

"Miss Mexico Jimena Navarrete was officially named the hottest chick on the planet, or just Miss Universe 2010, in Vegas last night effectively continuing Donald Trump’s silent campaign to make white people’s heads explode..."

I'm not sure who still watched these programs....but I applaud Donald Trumps consistency and commitment.

VIA thesuperficail

Chris Brown does an MJ tribute at the BET Awards 2010.

Dancing...not as smooth as Michael, but well done. The break down....I'm still up in the air about tha tone. Check out the video to see what I mean. We all havn't forgot that you hit girls Chris Brown.

I'm just saying.

Oscars 2010 Review.

This is becoming somewhat of a common thing to do. As usual, I will highlight the few part of an award show (the Oscars 2010) that caught my eye and/or I remember--and that's saying alot, cause this show was like 5 hours long. Here's a list of the winners. Let's get into it...and then get out.

-There are alot of haters out there taking jabs at Zoe Saldana's dress. Just to clarify for all those normal women sipping on the hater-aid, the confusion lies in the fact that you, yourself are not hot enough to pull the look off. Dont project....

-Charliz Theron let the world know of her love for Cinnamon buns.

And that's cool.

-Remember when Ben stiller dressed up like an Avatar in a tux and presented an award for a category that Avatar wasn't even nominated for? Very funny. James Cameron didn't even crack a smile. Dude your are rich-learn to laugh at yourself.

- Certified Pros Thoughts hot chic Amanda Seyfried showed why she made the list.

Big Love...that's what she said.

- As it turns out Bea Author and Farrah Faucet are not dead.

- I love a good JLo booty shot as much as any one else, but the bubble wrap dress was not flattering to any curve of her body. And if I were there...I wouldve been trying to pop bubble the whole night.

- George kept shooting looks like the one above at the camera Sunday night. I kinda wish I knew him in person. He seems cool.

- So that explains why the hosts were so bad. Besides that part where Steven Martin called Sarah Jessica Parker anorexic. Did anyone else catch that?

- And finally, I had to search long and hard for this one....but Christina Hendricks breast did indeed watch the Oscars. I couldn't bear talking about and award show and NOT mention them...I mean her.

That's it. Back to out regularly scheduled programing.

Oscars 2010: The Legion of Extraordinary Dancers.

lxd @ Yahoo! Video

For some odd reason, I seem to always end up watching the prime time award shows (stuck in a home with no cable). Since 2010 has begun, I think you can tally up my wasted life hours to about 58- due to trivial award shows alone. But unlike all the others award shows, the Oscars were particularly boring and long. It was like 1am when they wrapped up this past Sunday's shenanigans. However, in the hell hole that is "rich people giving each other awards"....this little dance montage to the music scores of Oscar nominated films was a breath of fresh air. The only part I was a little confused about was the section fthat represented "The Hurt Locker." Now....I have not seen the movie, but was their popp'in and lock'in involved the deadly military feat of defusing of bombs in Iraq????

More Oscar coverage to come....

VIA channelapa

Looking Back at the Grammys (really quickly).

I know I am a day late. And I know that this is not a celeb gossip site. But this recap will be really quickly....I promise.

-It's tough sh*t being a "female" entertainer these days. Look how you have to dress just to get some stage time. And look what you have to do... just to sell a itunes song.

-Why did Snookie from The Jersey Shore get to go to the Grammys?

-Britney Spears really did forget the bottom half of her dress.

- And about Taylor Swift. Like my mom use to say....

"If you can't take care of it...you probably shouldnt have it."

-Ok, that's it...now onto the Oscars. Really..."Up" as best picture of the year. Eh....

-Ok...one more, I admit it. I wanted to see Lil Wayne, Eminem, Travis Barker and Drake perform. I wanted to see what type of Cardigan Drake would wear (so I know what to buy next). And this punk wore a leather jacket. Damn it Wheelchair Jimmy.

All done. See...that was quick.

Grammy 2010 Tribute to MJ.

So my mom calls me up while I'm watching Big Love and she asks if Im watching the Grammys.

"They are doing a tribute to Jackson. Celine Dion, Smokey Robinson, Jennifer Hudson, some other girl and that kid with the funny flat head. Oh, and they gave him the Life Time achievement...his kids took it for him."

So that's the 30 second parent review I got from my mom. The video above pays more homage to what actually occured. Check out the other "top 5 performances" of the night.

Chichis and Hairy Legs: The Golden Globes.

So, I already admitted to staying in and watching the 4 hour long Golden Globe Awards. And I noticed a few things. I didn't feel it was necessary to bring it up on this blog- at first. But then I did my Internet rounds...and after discovering new things and....well, frankly being reminded of others. I just thought I'd do a quick little post.

MoNique is doing her thing. She's got a show. She won an award for Precious (still haven't seen), but god damn it....what is this nonsense right here? Do you see the man hairs on this woman's legs.
Uh, I would say that Christina Hendricks looked a little extra pale last night. Like she was trying out for a new Vampire series. But her boobs are so massive that her paleness gets a pass. Agreed? Agreed.

Riddle me this Batman: How did Mikey Rourke pull this chic? 

Answer: Drugs...lots and lots of drugs.

An low and behold...out of the wood works...Halle Berry emerges to let these new b*tches know that she is still the head hot-as-hell actress....in the world.

Oh yeah...and the host, Rick Gervais was going in on the audience last night.

That's it.

Cheers.

4-inches of pure solid-like gold.

So, I'm on this kick now, where award shows are starting to tickle my fancy again. I care enough to post blogs about them, and then ontop of that watch them. I watched the Grammys last night. The whole 18 hours of it. And I was entertained...on many levels. Here is a complete list of the winner, if that is the sorta thing your into.

My top moments Grammy Moments of 2008....


1. Beyonce and sister (gimme a second and I'll remember her name) still being dressed by their momma. And the result is.....tacky. I hate to say it, but if I had a giant red buzzer that controlled a door to a pit of african mutant space alligators, I woulda pressed its continuously, restlessly and vigorously for everyone involved in morbid muffin lady's and princess hobo's looks...(hair, make-up, biological parents, god parents, pets....).


2. Ella, ella, eh, eh, eh. Under my umbrella. Rihanna and Jay Z win best collaboration or something. Jay seemed unimpressed. Rihanna was thanking Barbados [record scratch]. Whaaaaa.....


3. The blatant cockiness of Kanye. He literally told the makers and producers of the show to cut the music off when they were trying to get him off the stage. Now maybe this wasnt that big of a surprise to some, but keep in mind, the last time I watched an entire award show, it began with B. Spears consciously singing, dancing and holding a snake simultaneously, and then living to talk about it w/out a coochie flash. Come on Kanye, its the same rules as it was 49 yr ago, let alone last year- if you had something to say about your momz, you shoulda said it at the beginning of the speech. Dont be arrogant, because you wont be hot forever...infact, I'll give you another 5 years tops, before your begging to be on Brit's new album. And your date wasnt even that hot. Bleh!

4. Tina and Beyonce. No, no I, II, and III. I- Beyonce saying that Tina Turner was better than Whitney (I believe she defined Houston as having 'Melody')....where is my giant red buzzer? Presss, presss, preeessssssss. II- Tina's silver spaghetti strap jump suite...your like 70 Tina...the wheels do NOT keep on rollin, they infact NEED to be reinforced and covered up. And silver, not quiet your color Tina. III Tina dancing with Beyonce, she missed a few moves towards the end...but I was impressed (click the pic to link up) . If I was 70 something, I don't think I wouldve picked Beyonce as the person to dance with on stage. I'd probably pick a fictitious character like Fred Flinstone or the Snorks.

5. I also like how Kanye was the subject of 2 snide remarks, when he wasn't even on stage. Some country dude asked him "if he ever had a Beatle give him an award"...and then said "im joking." Usher did not end his stab like that. When he said "Winning isnt everything, Kanye," and he meant it. Kanye, kanye, kanye...modesty will keep your name out of peoples mouths. That's a little something your momma never taught you. Eh, eh and a whap whap.

6. Areatha, Areatha, Areatha. Who told you it was ok to wear spaghetti straps? You are too big to and too flabtastic to be doin that. You know I love you...but you committed a no no. You shoulda took all the shawl business and wrapped it around the whole top of your body. I'm talking straight jacket style. You woulda even looked better with a long (and extra wide) white T on.

7. The Amy Winehouse performance. Hello, who told her that she was all better? They were fibbing. Poor girl was convulsing, and shaking and touching herself. It was all really sad. She wasnt in the US because her visa wasnt right...not that home court advantage helped-but the lack luster crowd supported her all the way through her horrendous performance. And the back up dancers looked like they were from prison (perhaps the same prison as her hubby Blake...er, tmi, Amy, tmi...I'm gonna guess he was a drug dealer, no?). Eh, I dont see what's so great about the girls music anyway....i heard her entire album sounded the same. That's word. lol. The Brits scare me, but she did clean up at the Grammys. And hey...Kanye likes her, so.....

8. Disappointing. No Justin Timberlake. A single tear ran down my cheek. It got caught up in my beard, so the effect...unfortunatly, wasn't all that dramatic.



Other Honorable Mentions: Alicia Keys tore it up singing with Old Blue Eyes (scary) and she was looking real hoodish while she performed her hit single (hot) / Kid Rock was scat singing, obviously as a result of the writers stike / the dueling pianos and orchrastra that played the song from Tom & Jerry (that sgiuld show you how classy I am) was really good / Foo Fighter did a good job performing....outside....... / Fergie actually didnt make a fool out of her self singing while John legend played the piano...she was decent / Will.I.am did however make a fool out of himself / Josh Groban thought it comfortable to place his hand on another man's lower back for the entirety of a song....strange, or normal...hey its opera / Tom Cruise was NOT there....making the place completely Scientology free, phew!!!!