The Dirty Knife Allegory

I was surfing the blogosphere and came upon a new blog that set forth an interesting scenario (The Dirty Knife Allegory):

"What if you were dating a guy (or girl), and one night he/she came over to your apartment. You cooked dinner, everything was fine, and when he/she finished eating he/she washed all the dishes he/she used -- except for a single dirty knife that was already in the sink when he/she arrived.

"How would you react?"

Blogger Angela has some deep theories regarding the situation from a personal and socialogical level. I'm just wondering...how would you react?

via liveanduncensored

the core to friendship.

Theory #564

I have a new theory....bear with me. Its been awhile since I have written my mind fart theories onto the pages of my blog for consideration and ultimate agreeance.

Hypothesis: I think all groups of friends are made up of the same types of people.

Facts: Groups of friends are all the same. Sure, they differ in individual personalities, race, religion and theme...but for the most part they can be label into 4 different types of persons. These persons come together to create the ultimate posse.

1. The Leader: In every group of friends there is always one person that makes the decisions. Whether they state their wants and needs and everyone then complies or their company is truly enjoyed and valued enough to make people plan around them. They may not even have leadership qualities, but they are the glue that holds the group together. If other (3) types are hanging out without "the leader"(depending on the group, this might not even occur) ...their name is sure to be topic of conversation at least once. Or the person is referenced or contact for hang-out confirmation.

2. The Entertainer: Look for the loud, funny, relatively entertaining person. He/she very may be the most outgoing of the group, but the things is...they are only the shiz-nit in the group. They may be the shiz-nit for multiple reasons....they may be a "one-of a kind" or "too REAL (always speak whats on their mind)" or just a practical joker. Within seconds, you can find "the entertainer." You don't need them to fill in the gap. But if there is a silent pause in the conversation. They will fill it. Somehow......

3. The Straight Edge: Every true group of friends needs a straight edge. They are the person in the group you look to to make sure they are having a good time when you all go out. They will f*ck up your good time with their opinions, moods and/or both. But you love that about them. It's simple really. They are so straight laced...its hurts. But it hurts so good.

4. The Extra: Every group needs an extra. He/she never starts the conversation, but always weighs in his/her opinion once its been flushed out and laid on the table. They don't choose where the group is going, but they voice in ideas and such. They are usually the odd man out (ie The fat friend, the single friend....) but that's not a definite. They bring nothing extra to the group really, but their presence seems valued by the others. They are usually the one the receives all of the secrets of the group and while some would call them a "follower", they refer to themselves as quiet leaders.

**It is very important to note that ALL friendship groups consist of no more or less of the number 4. Anything below...you are a group of losers posing as a posse . Anything above 4...someone is a tag along. They may be a good tag along. But they are not permanent. The funny thing is...tag alongs are really spies trying to get into the group. If someone were to slack on their position and their responsibilities, they can be replaced my the well-educated tag-o-long.

Variables:

- roommate situations: there is a thin line between roommates and friends. This area has yet to be discovered, but "types" , "quantities" and behaviors are currently and thoroughly being looked into. It is very likely that roommates and the 4 friend posse go hand in hand...

-gangs (urban click's): who the hell knows.

-long distant friends posse: its tough, but when a posse is broken up by distance...a a game of phone line occurs, where the "leader" keeps intouch with everyone...and the "extra" is often replaced. Also, the making of new friends/associates takes place. And that is a whole nother theory in and of itself.

-mixed gender posse: Someone will eventually f*ck or start a relationship and f*ck the whole thing up. A group of friends (8 or more) can make this happen...but as you break the group up into posses, they should be uni gendered....or someone will get hurt.

That's all....I'm done. Go get some friends you losers.

compasses and such.

I was made aware of the current "debate" regarding the release of the new movie The Golden Compass. Which is a fantasy movie about a young girl traveling through an absurd world of talking animals called Daemons (which represents one's true self), witches and drinking polar bears. And though, I usually do not pay attention to things such as this...this one has stirred in me a particular and unique interest.

Critics say the following about the author of the book and its under tones. And by critics, I mean Christians. Which is sorta interesting. Similar to the up roar about the Harry Potter Series, this series of 3 books (the Golden Compass being the first) written by Phillip Pullman supposedly has strong undertones of anti-religion. Like the main bad guy is called The Church and apparently in the last book of the series God is killed. And though I can speak freely about the first book which I read like 10 years ago, who knows what happened in the last. But lets say it does. Lets say Pullman did indeed write these books to shank Christianity in the gut. Let's say this movie premiere boosts the sale of the book right before christmas and thousands of unsuspecting children receives the How-To handbooks of atheism.

Who cares?


1. The Jesus crew needs to do a step back. Christians are up in arms about the release of this movie. Slander to their beliefs and propaganda meant to spoil the predetermined spirituality of the up coming generation. Yet, it is still just that...a book. Three books. a. If you don't like the idea of the movie, don't go see it. b. no little kid is going to pick-up on the anti-religious themes of the book. c. If you are an adult and you let this movie...a form of entertainment either change your views about your beliefs or shape them...then you are probably not the brightest crayon in the box. I mean, really...when was the last time you heard of an atheist terrorist group?

2. Hypocrites. Why is it that Christians are able to condemn people for not following their beliefs, but no one else can speak their minds. I have heard, with my own ears, several Christians...both close and afar, condemn those with different beliefs to Hell. Hell. Like, eternal damnation...just because they think differently. So lord forbid, a random man in a random part of the world discloses his/her different beliefs and spread it.

3. It's just a book. Pages of fantasy. Made up. Polar bears don't actually talk. There is not magical golden compass. People will see the movie and see it for just what it is. Entertainment. Where is the angst coming from? I mean it is not an organized army of fanatics marching across a continent killing all those in their path who don't convert. Oh wait.....



Overall, there's just a lack of the true understanding of where one's beliefs and being really come from. It certainly doesn't come from a book or a movie. It comes from the home. And if you have to shout and scream about a form of entertainment, and worry about its effects on your proclaimed people....then maybe there is a bigger problem. A problem that should be searched out within your own ranks.

And hey, I read the book when I was a kid....and look how I turned out.

(Big Smile).

heavenly thoughts.

I was up at like 3am last night, and this weird religious program came on, with this old guy discussing a recent news article about the second coming of Jesus and the 8 signs that back it up. The official title is...ahem... 8 Compelling Reasons Why Christ is Coming Soon.

He wearily started the program off with a joke about how a woman was looking for a pious man who would rather be in church on a sunday, than watching the sunday game, and that's when I knew he was crazy.

After he was finished waving his bible around. I decided to make my own blasphemous list of why Christ is Not Coming Soon. So heeeereee we go (Mario Kart reference...who caught that? Gold Star for you.)

Ahem......


The evidence for the not-too-soon return of Jesus Christ is overwhelming. One scholar lists 167 converging clues just in the last few years while others are 280% sure that "he is the father of that baby" wait, doesn't % mean out of 100. The following are eight FACTS that prove Christ will not be arriving any time soon:

1. Spam is still considered a meat to many a culture throughout the world. And that's ridiculous, and totally secular. Everyone knows Gumby's best friend was a red horse.


2. Magnum Sized Condoms. Research shows that more and more paper products are being produced in the color black. Ironically, the same color as writing ink. There is no direct correlation between prolonged deepening of the average vagina and the increased # of condoms they keep putting in a pack, but as more black paper is being used around the world, the depletion of black ink in 2011, will not allow for the proper amount of ink that say, a Savior would need to completely get through a naughty or nice list. Theoretically proven. And lets not even get into the gold ink that is used.

3. Love of Magic. As long as the human affair with mystical beings is at large, a being of such ultimate superiority will not set foot upon this world. Prime Example...Harry Potter, and the generation of miniature aspiring witches and warlocks. False ideology is performed every time a book drops or a movie opens. And that's only one of the mystical being so readily and earnestly immersing into our society. Christians don't ride brooms yah know.

4. The love of Sushi. Eating sh*t raw and packed together with undercooked rice. Pure hedonism.

5. Casual Fridays. If everyone was so "well" traveled and educated, why is it that people still mistake casual fridays for going clubbin-let me get this $20 in singles, day. People still can't dress themselves--or even understand the symbiotic relationship b/t how people think of you and how you look. As long as casual fridays are abused...there is no way the messiah will arise to save anyone. Even he knows Jesus sandals went out of style in the early 90's. And listen....Pink Polos and Button Downs are never acceptable (personal addition). Sinful.

6. The Old World Order is still riding high. Some places just have NOT evolved. In Chicago, they are still cutting their pizzas in boxes, and not slices like normal people. Suede suits are still in. moms and dads around the world still don't know what ".com" is or how to handle it. The royal family is still emphasized and respected in London(they don't do anything). The Irish still hate the Brits and vice versa. With all these world advances......we are still, soooo far behind. And worst of all...FILA is still making cloths. Ugh.

7. Fragil Rock. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. And I Love New York. With such awesome shows being written, produced and brought to screen within decades so close together, no one in their right mind would end the current snowball effect that is playing out. And lets not 4get LOST. Cha.


8. Turkish Whores. As long as there are Turkish whores....salvation, is unlikely.




It's best to think of this as less of a blasphemous blog and more, anti organized religion blog. Ridicule or religious satire maybe. As IDIOTIC at the link above. Trust, I love Jesus...but it is silly to think that you can comprehend his goals from simple words strung together by an anonymous author. And then have some crazy, decipher 8 visions (as in-depth as they are, not) that for tell the arrival of Christ and the abolishment of all that do not follow him.

It's the difference between spirituality/belief and religion. The good person that treats you as he/she wants to be treated and the religious nut that ties you beaten to a fence for your sexuality.


I'm just saying.

That is all.

fabrical HYPO-thesis

Theory # 418

Consider this an educated guess.

Theory- Old Navy is encouraging America to be fat.

Support Points:
-I went into an old navy and tried on some shorts earlier this summer. Granted, I had lost some weight- but lord knows I DO NOT wear a 33 waist. I have never worn a 33 waist. Yesterday, I was forced to buy a Large sweat shirt, instead of my normal extra large.
- Old navy is like one of 2 stores that offers sizes like XXXX Large. I have never seen BR or Armani or Guess offer such sizes. And that is because they intrinsically enforce a thin frame (translation: they don't want fat people wearing their cloths.)

I hypothesize that; a. Old Navy is tricking their consumers into thinking they are smaller than they actually are. b. thus enforcing cofidence and a false sense of recognition c. there labeling themselves as the sole/leading cause for US obesity. They are like the loving parent who tells you you always look nice, or the blind person who loves you "as you are".


Facts: Old navy is only in the US. And the US ranks 9th in the list of fat countries in the world. The upper nine are islands (not real places with real eating habits). The US has approximately 127 million adults that are overweight, 60 million obese, and 9 million severely obese.



Suggestion: End the selling of fat people cloths...or if sold, only sell Moo Moos to men and woman alike. These Moo moos will act as a catalyst...hopefully causing a lay-off (due to inappropriate wrk wear), psychological trauma (like not wanting to go out to eat cause u look ridiculous) and many more fashion/life related situations of the same propensity.
The idea is to start change....and I suggest you start with OLD NAVY....then we can cut the "Big" out of Big and Tall and.......so on and so forth.


Final Statement: Cloths always make the man......but they shouldn't make the fat man. They should make the fat man look foolish.


Finis.

African American Potato, Pot"ah"to

Theory # 344

Theory: The Caucasian race (and I am not being racist, just stating and observation)has a deficiency in being able to tell African Americans apart. It is common that one black male is mistaken for another, merely on skin color alone. The sad past is, it is purely a mistake( and I see this man).

Supporting fact: 1- racial profiling exists hardcore, 2-*the fact that i have been working here for several months and people still call me by the old Office services guy's names (and I've sen pics of the previous guy-nothing in common) 3- I just met a man coming to see my boss for the first time and he started talking about getting some photos to me, that he promised some while back :/-"I don't know you man" and I'm positive that you couldn't state my name or the name of my predecessor4. The common joke.. said or referenced to by both parties "They can't tell the difference between you" is used often.

Inversely: It is impossible for black America to do this. Socially IMPOSSIBLE.


Clause(s):
- Race and color is a predominate factor in identifying people...especially in the "melting pot" that is America.
- People identify with their race and succumb to its idiosyncrasies and stereotypes on a daily basis(sometimes to a flaw). With this fact, the "grouping" is set into motion. Extreme: Starting of sentences with the term "They". Smaller: Simply inability to understand cultural preferences...like the use of Du Rags and the concept of 3 hours church services.
-History also dictates/ed the stratification of social classes....barriers of understanding and truly getting know an individual culture, but accepting and allowing thriving stereotypes and broad and shallow understanding.
-With this cultural divide and shallow understanding of other races/cultures and creeds...identity is lost. When you add in the hierarchy of American social class, there is no need or want to get to know some ones identify....faces as lost and skin color is given the "power"

Take into account:
1. This theory probably applies less to the younger generations. As time goes on gentrification increases
2. With all those black basket ball players and track stars...its probably hard to keep track..lol (ignore my ignorance)
3. Blind people probably are not effect by this theory and should not be held accountable. In fact they should love everyone.

Overall Outcome: Ignorance is so not bliss. And, if your not sure you know someone...you probably don't.

Ugly Power.

Theory# 244


Ugly people are more likely to be in charge, than attractive people.


Clause 1- Ugly people spend less time socializing, and therefore have more time to "mold their careers"/work their asses off. Less late night partying=better work ethic and in work productivity = moving through the ranks.



Clause 2- The better lookin people have more friends, naturally. And hence...less time to better themselves.


Clause 3- Unattractive people usually know they are just that, and save and invest their money into like.....worthy things. Attractive people must dress and be the part of "being attractive"...there is alot of extra expense that need to be embraced.



All of this put together, give the "uglies" a better overall natural advantage. Not to say that attractive people dont get far....but, there is a significant "head start".


Obvious Falacies to take into account:

1- Inheritance

2- Industry--like the modeling industry...everyone is probably semi attractive.

3- Age- some people dont age well, and dinosaur bosses now, coulda been hot tamales in the past
4- Sleeping your way to the top is a common scenario---usually exhibited by women---the funny thing is that if an "ugly" were to do it, they rarely get anywhere, but attractive people always get what they want. So is the world.




Final Statement: I'd rather be attractive that Ugly any week of the month....