myspace sexy.

Just some advice:

when you are trying to come up with your next sexy profile pic. Make sure you flush.

Mariah Carey. Touch My Body.

I'm confused, is this stupid on purpose?



If its meant to be serious, then it is sad. But if it is stupid on purpose, then it still kinda sad. And Mariah...we dont need to see you boobs to see that you can sing.

2 second rule.

Almost everywhere it is acceptable to drop your food on the floor, and it be good enough to eat, if and only if you pick it up before a certain period of time. Some people call it the 5 second rule- which means upon the accidental drop...you audibly (so others can hear) call "5 second rule" and pick it (food) up almost immediately....before the germs and really deadly shit get to it. And then you are safe to pop it in your mouth and enjoy.

The amount of time varies from location to location, in between genders and even in between cultures (alot has to do with your "grossness" factor).

Interestingly enough, a highschool in Arizona has also put a time limit on pda (public display of affection).

My response: Its about god damn time!

And yes, that is all this blog is about. I just happened to stumble upon the story and thought it was interesting. Not a fan of pda myself, I cant say that I feel bad for the kids- I can see why having a relationship in highschool is a distraction. I mean, I went to an all boys prep school and I was able to go 8 hours and then talk and be all highschool lovey dovey to my gf after. And look, I turned out ok. Mostly because I had nothing else to focus on but doing work in highschool and then getting into a good college. I'm just saying......

This rule might be so good, that I may apply it to my daily life. Hugs, kisses, high fives....maybe then, I will get my life back on track. If anything, it will allow me more seconds in the day to pick my food up off the floor and eat it. "30 second rule"


PS Can you imagine the prude student who got this rule implemented in the first place? Virgin for life pin...right on her/his blazer lapel in a public school.

simple ads.

Line: 0 to 100km/h in 8.4 sec
click the image...and it becomes very large.



Agency: Y&R Irsael

midget fight.

this is just so wrong, its right. i almost fell out of my chair at work-and it has armrests.
i mean...can you really write this...the midget is batter ramming him and rolling around?

feel better about yourself yet?

see what a little dental work can do? even beetle juice, who is only casted in things simply to surprise the sh*t out of you/scare you to death. Now he just needs to get the rest of his face fixed. And at least I know that no matter how badly I need to go to the dentist...I will never look this gross.
Melissa Joan Heart...whats that? You're preggers? Or were you turned into a whale by a fellow jealous witch? Since you had a show and all. Jealousy is a horrible thing. And your a monster. ROOOAAAAR!
Awwwwww....Chris Brown and Rihanna, confirmed. Doesn't that make you feel good? Young love, obvious collaboration and another horny teen off the streets. Success.
Its been reported that Paris Hilton's guru was indeed a fake. But when I saw this picture beforehand, I couldn't help but to feel good about myself as she, while looking for spiritual help, sips her $5 coffee driving her spiritual leader around unbuckled in her pricey car.

Great googly moogly, its Bloosom form the early 90s hit Blossom. You aged as well as a spoiled orange. Like really, really well. You are like 30 and look 70. Good job using that money from your show. Six is still hot. And Joey...always a dream boat. And you look like Bet Midler.

And finally but not least.....Beckham pays a visit to some hospital in Asia on his off time to play peek-a-boo with Asian babies. Cute no? I feel like that baby is like..."Holy F*ck,that's David Beckham!"

Yall feel better yet?

fake ads.

I'm glad i wasnt the only one who thought Prius had lame advertising. Less gas emmisions...who cares? Great for the environment...::yawn::.

Someone made these fake ads with the tag:

"Well, atleast they Drive a Prius"

new blogging outlook.

So I made a promise to myself last week to try to make this blog "more personal". I feel like I am always relaying news about pop culture and clever/not-so clever advertising. I mean, I have had really bad experiences (please note the "s") with blogging in the past, which did cause me to approach this one with less of a personal aspect. People take my blog too seriously or they think that they are the topic of every word written on the page. I promised myself that I would not go too deep into my personal feelings and things that may have occured in "real" life. But I am starting to think that there needs to be more of a balance here. And I will just hide it within the labels of "DAILY." Or..I could end everything I say with a "JK: Just Kidding"

I would ask you, the reader, to give you opinion...but I'm pretty sure I blog out of boredom and there are only like 6 people who look at this blog. Anyway, here is to a "new blogging outlook." I hope I dont bore you to death. I'm just learning how to care about people. lol. No, really.

So, on that Note, I guess its time for a Life Update:

Washing my hands of Sin. There are very few things going on in my life. So with that said, i try to add stuff just to make my life...ummmm acceptable, as a human being. And I had given up smoking. For 2 reasons......1. Being Jesus (a semi Lent promise). Though I am not Catholic, I've got Catholic school teachings running though my veins. Truthfully, I never really come through with these holy promises. I am doing the no meat on Friday thing...and on the second Friday of this Lent, I had two sausages, because I forgot. Haven't done it since though. And i was forgiven...sooooo. 2. Health. I always said that I would stop when I wanted to. And I did. Because I am running my first marathon on the 30th of March. Though I know black people don't run marathons, I've hooked up with some co-workers to do a weekend run (about 5 miles up and down the lake shore, ending in breakfast). And, I payed for the sh*t so I will be running a 8k (roughly 5 miles). So, the combination of ridding sin and my "getting really into athletic things" way of being, joined to make a lovely 3 weeks sans cigarettes. That is until, the past Monday night. When the stresses of life caused me to buy a pack. And if you are a smoker, you know that the purchase of a pack equates to the smoking of a pack. Like a moth to a flame or...a midget to the circus. So every night i wash my hands thoroughly awaiting the end of the pack. At that time, I will regain 2 things.....my sainthood and my ability to run 5 miles and finishing ahead of the handicaps in the Chicago Shamrock Shuffle.

This weekend should turn out to be a drunken debauchery. There are house guests from both Texas and Kansas coming into town. And as I learned yesterday...Kansas universities are dry campuses , which explains why my KU roomate (and his friends) are so genuinely insane when they drink. And the Texans. Well, everyone knows there is nothing better than meeting a new Texan. ::winks at Kellen:: Its also Irish day. And white people love Irish Day. Take no offense to the previous sentence, that was my ploy to have you click that link and read the following hysterical blog site. Do it. Do. It.

I miss NY again. I am missing it like a fat kid misses cake. And I would know, being a former fat kid myself. I miss it so bad that yesterday, while at "work" and listening to AOL radio (my new Internet explorer addiction) I listened to salsa for like 3 hours straight. That's how bad I was missing my Hispanics from the BX. I however was not missing you badly enough to turn on the atrocities of reggaeton. Nope. Not that much. But I should be home for Easter...so, I am happy. There will be no crazy meeting up with friends plans, because that didnt work last time, and there are already multiple days set aside for family(as iy turns out, you cant go home and not see you mom and dad, who knew?). Besides, I'm gonna be a God pa to the cuttest kid ever. Way cuter than yours. FACT. So...Easter weekend is his.

Ok, now I'm out.

Future Topics: Boxers or Briefs (an age old question that will either be solved or turn my blog into a gay porn site), Gay Porn...you make a sh*t load of money doing it...who knew?, Female Sex Tourism, an epidemic (even I have suffered from the result of this every growing tendency)....and much much more, next time on Maurey....I mean Prostituted Thoughts: Daily.

flavor flaaaaaaaav

I would consider myself less of a blogger, nay...a person, if I did not share with you the following find. Saphyre, Flavor of Love 2 contestant, known most for getting eliminated from the house about 15 minutes after stepping in the door, has her own line of uni-sex lip gloss (why would men wear lip gloss?). Please take some time to note her fine choice of marketing in this classy spot.

But, it does not end there. It is 2008 and what brand product would be complete without a website? If you are not lured/distracted/nauseated by "Ultimate Indian Hair" (please, please click it) and "fan club" (head cocked to the side, skeptical glare) you may want to take some time to browse the array of logo embroidered clothing items.

Perhaps you have always wanted a Saphyre sweater, boxers or maybe an apron. What about a journal or doggy t (tshirt for dogs). I know, I know.....what about a baby body suit.

I for one, jus brought a hat. And sent it to my worste enemy with a note saying "This is what I hope your future is...."

All in a morning's work.

PS- I will be giving you the low down on the new Flavor of Love 3 Show....no worries.

"What Happend Today"

We may not know the final outcome of today's voting until morning,
but the results so far make one thing clear.

When the dust settles from
today's contests, we will maintain our substantial lead in delegates. And thanks
to millions of people standing for change, we will keep adding delegates and
capture the Democratic nomination.

We knew from the day we began this
journey that the road would be long. And we knew what we were up against.

We knew that the closer we got to the change we seek, the more we'd see
of the politics we're trying to end -- the attacks and distortions that try to
distract us from the issues that matter to people's lives, the stunts and the
tactics that ask us to fear instead of hope.

But this time -- this year
-- it will not work. The challenges are too great. The stakes are too high.

Americans need real change.

In the coming weeks, we will begin a
great debate about the future of this country with a man who has served it
bravely and loves it dearly. And we will offer two very different visions of the
America we see in the twenty-first century.

John McCain has already
dismissed our call for change as eloquent but empty.

But he should know
that it's a call that did not begin with my words. It's the resounding call from
every corner of this country, from first-time voters and lifelong cynics, from
Democrats and Republicans alike.

And together you and I are going to
grow this movement to deliver that change in November.

Thank you,

Barack

This is the message (bulletin) I received from my myspace friend Barack Obama. I was...shocked and appalled. I do indeed support the Barack-ster (though I do not feel in necessary to impose it upon the rest of the world), but I draw the line at the inter-media attack method. I just saw you on TV last night Barack. You and HillBill were the topics of my daily morning new programme. You are the profile picture of all of my black friends on the facebook. Give me a break buddy. One can take only so much rhetoric at once. (You too Hillary!...especially with such boring rhetoric).

hitler ads.

or atleast Hitler Themed ads. You gotta love them.

just a few (10) things.

1. Can you see Van Gogh's "Stary Night" made from those hands to your left. If so, then you will not only get, but will most likely like the photographer Jan Von Holleben. Check it out. Tis good stuff.


2. :: Drum Roll ::......Welcome to the world Max and Emme Lopez. I dont normally care about kids names, but this is JLo here. And yes, I have chosen to neglect the paternal altogether since he is a mere circumstance of luck. If I was a crack baby, self proclaimed Spanish "super star singer" (yet to be proven)...it coulda been my little guys in her uterus. BTW, remember when Puff was dating JLo? Those were the good ole days.

3. American Idol Finalist, David Hernandez was outed. Turns out he use to strip for men at a place in AZ ::shutter:: called....get this, Dicks Cabaret (so subtle). Did he really think he was gonna get away with being a male stripper on national tv? Or was he counting down the days like our old buddy Militia? Anyway, the really sad part is that he might be DQ'ed, because lord forbid an American idol be a stripper or gay ("Hey Fatty").

4. Check this fake iphone. For all of you who think that AT&T should bite the dust like all the other dinosaur brands...invest $250 in a knock off that is 99% (supposedly) like the the real one. Do it. Do. It.

5. PETA is clearly off its rocker. They are insane and I am adding them to my list of groups of people that need to be constantly under surveillance (ex scientologist, people with moustaches....). "I have an idea...lets put a naked pregnant lady in a crate in the street. and then blow up the street when all those fur wearing heathens stop to cop a glance before tea time." I'm pretty sure that was the original plan...they just didn't have the budget for explosives.

6. Jack Nicholson supports Hillary Clinton....but apparently he was too busy (doing crack and having sex with under aged girls) to actually sit down and be in the video. And who really wants to be endorsed by Jack Nicholson? I mean, I wouldn't go to him for letter of recommendation, unless I was applying to be a sketchy old man.

7. I, Shaun, do not believe the hype surrounding Prince Harry's incredulous return from war. They say he "wants" to fight for his country. They say the media told on him and he was "forced" to come home. Mmmhmm, that's a nice head of hair for a soldier. You must of been fully committed (to all of the photo-ops that will ultimately result in national pride and the increase in the reserves). War...right...and I'm, a professional dancer.

8. Let's stick to the whole British feel we have going on here. So, I was watching a program with my roommates last night about the royal family and apparently, the queen has a button that she presses when she feels she is done talking to people. Imagine...all of the awkward pauses, improv lieing and silly banter you could cut out of your life with such a weapon of mass perfection. Bored?... ***BUZZZ***...ninjas slide down a rope...yoke the said conversationalist up...and disappear with them into the dark abyss above ......
That' how I imagine it. There would be a whole lotta me saying "What was that?" and people peeing in their trousers from fear.

9. I know what you want for your birthday. You want to virtually torture people via face book . Well that's too bad, they aren't doing that anymore. But there is a new application that allows you to simulate fornicating with a groundhog. Make sure you invite friends...the more the better.

10. I thought my life was awesome...when I got the trunk of Lego's for Christmas in 1978. But now...you can test-build what ever you want...online. And then you play with it...then you.., oh wait, I guess you just log out and then, ummm I guess take a bath. Exactly how Lego's were meant to be. (sarcasm)

insane ads.

what can I say...Monday is just a good day for finding ads.




next step: actually making soccer this interesting in real life.

monday-interlude.

I would like to officially thank Cassie's parents for getting together and procreating (probably at a young age). You have created a truly untalented, but HOT daughter. Thank you.

dreamy ads.

I've seen these before....Disney using famed photographer Annie Lebovitz for its "Dream" Campaign. And I liked it....combining in the stars of new with the magic of the classics.

My personal favorites:
David Beckham
The A List TeaCup
King Federer

Here are the new ones.

Wonderful job overall. A few side comments. Alladin was not a crack baby. This is probably the best work Jessica Biel has ever done. And I believe Whoopi is casted for the wrong movie...she should be in Monster Inc, i think. Some one call her agent...she could rake in some extra cash being in 2 ads.

The Wonderful World of Disney.