ok, so this is really good (as if the the repition of letters in the blog title didnt already indicate that) . This is the type of thing I live for. Apparently there is an on going war between a group of interent users (called Anonymous) and the Church of Scientology. Read all about it here. And as weird and creepy as the the religion of Scientology is, this "group" of antagonists are a bit creepier. No one, and I mean no one should ever put out statments like "....We are Anonymous. We are Legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget."
Welcome to creepsville, you creepies.
Check out the video below. I feel like the really nailed the concept of being "creepier that your opponent."
I also feel like it's my job to go deeper. Pray that I don't get abducted or experimented on. There is a scientology center around the corner from my house (fact!).
All I can say is that it is a magical place. Offering interesting how-to's ...about anything and everything really, or atleast almost anything, in a step-by-step process no less. Maybe you have always wondered how one would go about making a bacon placemat. Beacause meat textiles have always been one of your true passions. Or maybe you want to know how to stage a decapitation, because your am aspiring film director and/or your girlfriend wont let you break up with her, (so you have to go to some extemes). Perhaps the answere to figuring out the renowned Rubik's Cube would tickle your fancy. This and much much more.
New York times recently made an uncanny yet logical comparison of the top 2 democratic candidates. They compared our dear Hillary to a PC and Obama to a Mac computer.
"Reporters covering the candidates have already resorted to traditional analysis of style — fashion choices, manner of speaking, even the way they laugh. Yet, according to design experts, the candidates have left a clear blueprint of their personal style — perhaps even a window into their souls — "
nyt.com
Ok, so they are basically commenting on the look and feel of each of their respective websites (Hill's being more pragmatic and old school and Obama's, well..not being that). I mean, if it adds anything, my PC at work started freezing up when Borrack's site started downloading. But here's the thing. I think you can take this insight a bit further. Let's compare and analyze shall we.
Hillary Clinton
- years of ripe experience in the industry, and there are still buttons that are completely useless (F7???, what exactly do you do?)
-well known and trusted amongst the older demographic...usually the boring (er) of the crowd- think CEOs and HR managers and apparently dinosaurs.
- traditionally boring and conservative looking and feeling...one too many power suits could make a plausible female turn into a meek genlteman. Fact.
-great for networking...connecting people together...spreading rhetoric and endless emoticons
- practical and known for organizing and equations and stuff...but you still need to get on your kness and into a ridiculous position to find the god damn usb port.
vs.
BarackObama
-sleak and goodlooking (now available in white and black casing, next year Hawaiian)
- always changing and adapting to the times, new and improved versions always lookin toward the future, unfortunately they are never fully tested b4 its released to the public (recall? why recall when you could just fix each one by one).
- Welcome to Nicheville. New and Hip. Only the "kids" and the "weirdo artist type" get its usability and visual come heatherappeal. And what the f*ck is that "apple-command button" about?
- Pricey. But change is never cheap. Is it?
- They make everything simple. Too simple...for some.
I hate to say this, but this spot did a really good job at recapping my exact thoughts and concerns about this year's super bowl ads. They were all too safe, some didn't have sense and others were simply stupid. Let's do a play by play of all the memorable ones.
-Sobe Life Water..."Thrillicous" when Lizards do the MJ thriller dance with Naomie Cammbell...wrong, wrong, wrong. And Cambell isnt even doing the dance all correctly. Ughhhh.
-If the doritos ad that promised you enough cheesiness to get you attacked by a man in a mouse costume wasnt memorable enough...perhaps the indie acuostic singer on the roof rings more of a bell. Im sorry...is that a cheese dust graphic that procedes each word? I laughed once at the giant mouse. But overall...why do either of these make me want to go buy Doritos?
- Like always...Budlight delivers a hit, with the "Giant Cheese" spot. There is something about not knowing whats going on, paired with ridiculousness, paired with wine parties. It was good enough...not great. On the other hand...."the ability" camapign (I guess you could call it that if you remember the other ones b4) worked and didnt work (in context, that is). When we saw the second one, eveyone was like, did that guy just die(cause when a flying man goes through a jet engine, he normally dies). And, well...I'm pretty sure ads aren't suppose to do that.
-G2....eh?!?!?!? Who cares....the old "drink this and you become this" equation, but done to the most boring of degrees.
- You already know how I feel about the ETrade trading baby . It is a thumbs up for me. Granted its cliche and granted it was only a few steps away from the first idea (trading is so east a baby can do it), but its still cute, no? Which is probably why I should hate it. But i dont.
-And here come the big boys...Budwieser with thier same old dramatic story with a positive outcome. And FedEx, keeping up with thier superbowl wierdness trend...thank god for Mutant Pigeons, makes me think of the good old days. Coke, way to finally let Charlie Brown win one....YAY!!!!!!
- Planters Nuts...your silly. Cashews logically do not make you attractive... unibrow woman. Planters is a food you eat, it gives you protien... its not axe for women.
- "Do You Like Popsicles?" ...lol. So well acted, and legitimantly funny, Verizon Fav 5 steps up from small little chuckle to a 30 second "I can relate" smile.
-Career builder.com, you def pushed the limit. When someones heart pops out of thier chest, you get immediate interest, but then you critterized the ish out of it, which I guess is fine, a bit silly. A little scary...the...suddeness of it all. For a second, I thought her breast implant ejected itself....but the message was there and clear. I didnt like that 70's inspired, mock office building thing at the end, but hey.....
- Bridgstone...sure, screaming animals...why not. Makes sense. But did they take into account the people who dont care about hitting animals...lol, jk. I do appreciate the turtles slow-mo scream.
- Audi...the car looks really nice. But the idea...borrowed interest.
- Dell, I get it. It's pretty. Simple, simple simple. Dell I don't get it. Everyone will love you if you buy this Red Dell? Whap whap. When my party finished seeing this spot, I particularly remember someone saying, "I hate RED". Theory already dead.
-Garmin...for such crazy basement rock band music, your spot sure was lacking. Nepoleon using your equpiment to get to his own war? Did you just call the consumer stupid? I think that's a "wee". I liked your map monster from last year (which beleive it or not, I had the same idea (diff product) a few months earlier).
-Speaking of same idea. If you check my 'portfolio' from college you will see Tide to Go Ads with a man who has a stain on his shirt at an interview. If you check this super Bowl ad, you will see the sam premis. Conclusion...someone should hire me...Im atleast a year ahead of my time...it ad terms. DDB, BBDO, Leo.....see you soon.
- Vitamin Water. I still dont get why Shaq was a jockey. Big, small...who cares at all....hahaha, I'm a poet and didnt know it, I got rhymes but dont do the time, my words sound the game, and I got game....
If i had to pick a winner from this hodgepodge of mediocrity....I choose FedEx, i mean giant carrier pigoens...come on. Plus, it reminds me of the pigeons my grandpa had when I was little.
Alot of the times in voting for the future leader of your nation, the spokesman for you as an American and the face of recognition that will represent you internationally, the fun is lost. This website, interestingly presents the democrat and republican views in a light hearted way. Very, very clever. Britt and Patrick are at your command to dicuss any issue under the sun...well, not any issue, but close enough. Just type in a subject, and they will give you the opposing parties ideals on the issue, sans propoganda...wich is always good.
What's blacker than black? Your mom vacationing in Senegal...hahaha.
But even that wouldn't be as black as the new blackist of blacks that was recently discovered. Apparently it is, "30 times darker than a carbon substance used by the U.S. National Institute of Standards and Technology as the current benchmark of blackness." which if you think about it opens up doors for ummmm.... well, you know, it is really important for like northface jacket designers and ummm..... black board makers. This is ground breaking stuff here.
Imagine how hot you would be (literally, like warm), if you were wearing a suit made from the blackist of all blacks. You'd be like a walking sauna. But you could also hide in the shadows pretty well, I feel.
just my thoughts folks.....things that make me go Yeah...yeah...yeah (Usher reference)! Ads, the actual game, and other stuff, in no particular order.
1. My father calling me during the first quarter to tell me that I'd better root for the New York because Antonio Pierce, the LB for the Giants, was infact Bermudian. He was very excited and probably a little tipsy....but I ensured him that he did indeed just sway my vote. And we ended the convo with a hardy HAIL BERMUDA!
2.The E Trade baby. Though probably a holy nightmare to all parents in every part of the world, we could not help but to laugh as the baby spit up, just a little bit after buying some stock online. Check it out....here. I am also aware of the ad faux pas about babies and puppies. But common, this one spit up. And that's not only cute but also funny.
3. Jordin Sparks singing the national anthem. She looked scared sh*tless but did do a good job. Whether she was lip syncing or not, I did let out a "you go girl". At the end, you can see an audible "Pheww" and a mental glad I didnt fuck that up. (and after it all my room mate said "She got some Gurth on her"...he is too real).
4. Eli Manning getting out of this mouse trap of a situation. The entire room (of my super bowl party...the best one in the nation btw) was literally on fire when that happened. I mean Brady was sacked 5 times...a season high. The game in its entirety was just really entertaining, but I dont think I would be saying that if the Pats woulda won.
5. Spoons during half time. I mean, need I say more. If we didnt have enough food to feed a small nation, and if the people there weren't entertaining enough....at halftime, we played a healthy dosage of spoons. This time, there was no blood.
6. John Johnson, a Giants trainer since 1948. So in all serioussness they introduced this man on the tv screen like a normal everyday person. They just showed him, said a few comments and panned away. What was not noted was a. his awesome name and b. his potential for dropping dead righ there at the game. Thank god it's his last game. Sometimes, retirement should be mandatory. I'm sure he is glad he made it through that last TB outbreak...during the great depression, but if you yourself cannot run more than 10 yards, you shouldn't be training pro athletes...or anyone else . 7. The return of Donkey Lips. Late in the fourth an amp ad appeared on the tele, it had a fat man attaching wires to his nipples from a car...within seconds, we the crowd (we) realized that this fat man was indeed Donkey Lips from the hit show Salute your Shorts. OMG! Who at the agency was like..."we gotta call that kid from that Nick show from the early 90's, he'd be great." Cause whoever thought of that, is a genius.
8. NO ONE. Anyone who knows me...especially my roomates, know that I am in love with Alicia Keys. During the pregame show she performed her single live in some white snow leopard skin tight pants....which only could be described a "fierce." (no homo) I literally heard the song in the shower and jumped out to raise one hand in the air in my bath towel.
9. Remember that time that someone decided it was a good idea to read the entirety of the declaration of independance right before the game? I do. It was yesterday. And it was a bad idea. The entire time I was thinking...god damnit, why is this thing so long and then I felt unamerican, and then I felt like calling John Hancock and telling him to draft a revised version immeadiatly so that this doesnt happen again. 1328 words....really? Read by the average americans? It was like watching a speacial olympics mini-series.
10. Belichick's interview at the end of the game. He was really really pissed. Like he never won a superbowl before. The interviewer looked dazed and confused. I almost felt bad for him...and then I realized he had more money than my entire family put together in the past and fututre. Ass!
no worries, there will be a comphrehensive blog on the ups and downs of superbowl sunday. But until then, I thought that I woud help you out with Super Tuesday.
If you are still on the fence about which democrat gets you feeling all warm an guewy inside and/ or which souless repulican you would want to follow into the depths of hell...... (un-biasedly ofcoarse)
This site right here may be a quick fix. Atleast to hold you over till November. It's like a myspace survey that will decide the fate of our country. Sounds like a good time to me.
This is from me, to you. As they say on the picture box...
"vote or die." (also what my room mate says all the time, that is, when he is not randomly throwing up black fraternity signs)
